--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: But, by careful observation from the…" description: "\"“But, by careful observation from the sidelines, I’d worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometime..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cd/gail-honeyman-2909_success_but-by-careful-observation-from-the-side_2180219.jpg" --- # But, by careful observation from the sidelines, I’d worked… ![“But, by careful observation from the sidelines, I’d worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometimes have to laugh at things they don’t find very funny, do things they don’t particularly want to, with people whose company they don’t particularly…” quote by Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cd/gail-honeyman-2909_success_but-by-careful-observation-from-the-side_2180219.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cd/gail-honeyman-2909_success_but-by-careful-observation-from-the-side_2180219.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5cd/gail-honeyman-2909_success_but-by-careful-observation-from-the-side_2180219.jpg) > ““But, by careful observation from the sidelines, I’d worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometimes have to laugh at things they don’t find very funny, do things they don’t particularly want to, with people whose company they don’t particularly enjoy. Not me. I had decided, years ago, that if the choice was between that or flying solo, then I’d fly solo. It was safer that way.”” [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Social success often requires superficial conformity, but choosing authenticity can be safer and more fulfilling. **In simple terms:** Pretending to fit in can be risky; staying true is safer. Key Takeaway Prioritize authenticity over forced popularity. Themes authenticity social pressure individualism Mood thoughtful reflective cautious Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - workplace networking - friendship circles - dating scenes - family gatherings Key Concepts conformity self‑esteem risk assessment Questions to Reflect On - What are the costs of always conforming? - When is it okay to compromise authenticity? A Different Perspective Being completely authentic may limit certain opportunities. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Comedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/) [Fly Solo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fly-solo-718079/) [Flying Solo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/flying-solo-3549647/) [Popular People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/popular-people/) [Social Success](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-success-499537/) [Solo Fly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/solo-fly-4706663/) [Solo Safer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/solo-safer-4706662/) [Success](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/success/) [Years ago](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years-ago/) ## Related quotes > [“I'd worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometimes have to laugh at things they don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-d-worked-out-that-social-success-is-often-built-on-pretending-just/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [The good thing about flying solo is it's never boring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-fossett/the-good-thing-about-flying-solo-is-it-s-never-boring/) [Steve Fossett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-fossett/) > [So if you care to find me/ Look to the western sky/ As someone told me lately/ Everyone deserves the chance to fly!/ And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-schwartz/so-if-you-care-to-find-me-look-to-the-western-sky-as-someone-told-me/) [Stephen Schwartz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-schwartz/) > [Flying solo, you have a fair workload. I'm not only flying the balloon but doing the navigation, communications, repairing the burners, taking care of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-fossett/flying-solo-you-have-a-fair-workload-i-m-not-only-flying-the-balloon/) [Steve Fossett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-fossett/) > [Mostly, my flying has been solo, but the preparation for it wasn't. Without my husband's help and encouragement, I could not have attempted what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amelia-earhart/mostly-my-flying-has-been-solo-but-the-preparation-for-it-wasn-t/) [Amelia Earhart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amelia-earhart/) > [I Fly Solo <3](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wiz-khalifa/i-fly-solo-3/) [Wiz Khalifa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wiz-khalifa/) > [Those who fly solo have the strongest wings(:](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/those-who-fly-solo-have-the-strongest-wings/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I Wake Up On Rooftops Kuz I Fly Solo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wiz-khalifa/i-wake-up-on-rooftops-kuz-i-fly-solo/) [Wiz Khalifa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wiz-khalifa/) > [“I wasn't good at pretending, that was the thing. After what had happened in that burning house, given what went on there, I could…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-wasn-t-good-at-pretending-that-was-the-thing-after-what-had/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [Being with no one is better than being with the wrong ones. Sometimes those who fly solo have the strongest wings.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/being-with-no-one-is-better-than-being-with-the-wrong-ones-sometimes/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Have a defined mission with clear goals and timelines. I still trust the staff, with as little oversight as possible. Do things to show…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pete-olson/have-a-defined-mission-with-clear-goals-and-timelines-i-still-trust/) [Pete Olson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pete-olson/) > [“The pursuit of social success, in the form of prestige or power or both, is the most important obstacle to happiness in a competitive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/the-pursuit-of-social-success-in-the-form-of-prestige-or-power-or/) [Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/) > [To be a social success, do not act pathetic, arrogant, or bored. Do not discuss your unhappy childhood, your visit to the dentist,the shortcomings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/to-be-a-social-success-do-not-act-pathetic-arrogant-or-bored-do-not/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [“The pursuit of social success, in the form of prestige or power or both, is the most important obstacle in a competitive society.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/the-pursuit-of-social-success-in-the-form-of-prestige-or-power-or-2/) [Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/) > [“I have always understood that money made in the patent medicine business is a practical bar to social success.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-have-always-understood-that-money-made-in-the-patent-medicine/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Gail Honeyman > [This may sound strange, but although I feel like I know everything about my characters, the brand of shampoo they use, how many cavities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/this-may-sound-strange-but-although-i-feel-like-i-know-everything/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“I go over most Sundays,' he went on. 'She doesn't get out much - I'm sure she'd love to see a new face.' 'Even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-go-over-most-sundays-he-went-on-she-doesn-t-get-out-much-i-m-sure/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“Men like Raymond, pedestrial dullards, would always be distracted by women who looked like her, having neither the wit nor the sophistication to see…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/men-like-raymond-pedestrial-dullards-would-always-be-distracted-by/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“nebulous and milky, like light from an old, old star.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/nebulous-and-milky-like-light-from-an-old-old-star/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“I allowed my mind to wander. I’ve found this to be a very effective way of passing the time; you take a situation or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-allowed-my-mind-to-wander-i-ve-found-this-to-be-a-very-effective/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“Some people, weak people, fear solitude. What they fail to understand is that there’s something very liberating about it; once you realize that you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/some-people-weak-people-fear-solitude-what-they-fail-to-understand-is/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“The moment hung in time like a drop of honey from a spoon, heavy, golden.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/the-moment-hung-in-time-like-a-drop-of-honey-from-a-spoon-heavy-golden/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“I have always enjoyed reading, but I've never been sure how to select appropriate material. There are so many books in the world--how do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-have-always-enjoyed-reading-but-i-ve-never-been-sure-how-to-select/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“A human hand was exactly the right weight, exactly the right temperature for touching another person, I realized.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/a-human-hand-was-exactly-the-right-weight-exactly-the-right/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [I know some writers are meticulous planners, but I'm not one of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-know-some-writers-are-meticulous-planners-but-i-m-not-one-of-them/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“I do exist, don’t I? It often feels as if I’m not here, that I’m a figment of my own imagination. There are days…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-do-exist-don-t-i-it-often-feels-as-if-i-m-not-here-that-i-m-a/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [I wanted to show platonic friendship between men and women, because I think it is underutilised in fiction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-wanted-to-show-platonic-friendship-between-men-and-women-because-i/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“When you're struggling hard to manage your own emotions, it becomes unbearable to have to witness other people's, to have to try and manage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/when-you-re-struggling-hard-to-manage-your-own-emotions-it-becomes/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“It wasn't that you could take them for granted, as such - heaven knows, nothing can be taken for granted in this life -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/it-wasn-t-that-you-could-take-them-for-granted-as-such-heaven-knows/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) > [“I'm responsible. I chose to put myself in a situation where I'm responsible, wanting to look after her, a small, dependent, vulnerable creature. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-honeyman/i-m-responsible-i-chose-to-put-myself-in-a-situation-where-i-m/) [Gail Honeyman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) [Explore all 143 Gail Honeyman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-honeyman/) ## More Comedy quotes > ['Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shane-dawson/mad-tv-is-one-of-my-most-favorite-shows-of-all-time-and-is-a-huge/) [Shane Dawson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shane-dawson/) > [You can laugh at me, but I understand show business.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ksenia-sobchak/you-can-laugh-at-me-but-i-understand-show-business/) [Ksenia Sobchak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ksenia-sobchak/) > [Joking about violence is not funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/perez-hilton/joking-about-violence-is-not-funny/) [Perez Hilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/perez-hilton/) > [I wouldn't want people to laugh at me. That's why I have to give all that I can, and at least produce something that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zhao-wei/i-wouldn-t-want-people-to-laugh-at-me-that-s-why-i-have-to-give-all/) [Zhao Wei](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zhao-wei/) > [“Our world will not die as a result of the bomb, as the papers say, it will die of laughter, of banality, of making a joke…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carlos-ruiz-zafon/our-world-will-not-die-as-a-result-of-the-bomb-as-the-papers-say-it/) [Carlos Ruiz Zafon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carlos-ruiz-zafon/) > [I've been funny my whole life. This is a gift God gave me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracy-morgan/i-ve-been-funny-my-whole-life-this-is-a-gift-god-gave-me/) [Tracy Morgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracy-morgan/) > [“Laugh and grow strong”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ignatius-of-loyola/laugh-and-grow-strong/) [Ignatius of Loyola](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ignatius-of-loyola/) > [In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-evans/in-the-future-i-would-like-to-do-more-films-with-contemporary-themes/) [Luke Evans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luke-evans/) > [That's something a lot of folks don't know about me - I'm pretty darn funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-jai-white/that-s-something-a-lot-of-folks-don-t-know-about-me-i-m-pretty-darn/) [Michael Jai White](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-jai-white/) > [I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-jeselnik/i-have-that-need-in-me-i-want-everyone-to-love-me-but-i-m-embarrassed/) [Anthony Jeselnik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-jeselnik/) > [There's a difference between delivering real funny and just silly funny.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-rel-howery/there-s-a-difference-between-delivering-real-funny-and-just-silly/) [Lil Rel Howery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-rel-howery/) > [Oh to that corkscrew, the useful tool to unlock the treasure of wit, the treasury of laughter, the front door of fellowship, and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-guzaldo/oh-to-that-corkscrew-the-useful-tool-to-unlock-the-treasure-of-wit/) [Andrew Guzaldo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-guzaldo/) > [“Men circle like bees around honey, buzzing to communicate their sexual despair.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carla-h-krueger/men-circle-like-bees-around-honey-buzzing-to-communicate-their-sexual/) [Carla H Krueger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carla-h-krueger/) > [I do love to laugh!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-giudice/i-do-love-to-laugh/) [Teresa Giudice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-giudice/) > [I really enjoy making people laugh; I've discovered that's a great technique. That's as powerful as stirring their sorrow, stirring their compassion, because that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-lucado/i-really-enjoy-making-people-laugh-i-ve-discovered-that-s-a-great/) [Max Lucado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-lucado/) [Browse all 19,795 Comedy quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/comedy/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“But, by careful observation from the sidelines, I’d worked out that social success is often built on pretending just a little. Popular people sometimes have to laugh at things they don’t find very funny, do things they don’t particularly want to, with people whose company they don’t particularly enjoy. Not me. I had decided, years ago, that if the choice was between that or flying solo, then I’d fly solo. 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