--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: From the first winter afternoon in the…" description: "\"“From the first winter afternoon in the Harvard ball fields, \"Oh no--I need you\" had become an admission and a clarion call--the tenet of dependency th..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg" --- # From the first winter afternoon in the Harvard ball… ![“From the first winter afternoon in the Harvard ball fields, "Oh no--I need you" had become an admission and a clarion call--the tenet of dependency that forms the weft of friendship. We needed each other so that we could count the endless days of forests and flat water, but the real need was…” quote by Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg) > ““From the first winter afternoon in the Harvard ball fields, "Oh no--I need you" had become an admission and a clarion call--the tenet of dependency that forms the weft of friendship. We needed each other so that we could count the endless days of forests and flat water, but the real need was soldered by the sadder, harder moments--discord or helplessness or fear--that we dared to expose to each other. It took me years to grasp that this grit and discomfort in any relationship are an indicator of closeness, not it's opposite.”” [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. True friendship deepens through shared vulnerability and mutual support during difficult times. **In simple terms:** Hard times strengthen bonds. Key Takeaway Embrace vulnerability with friends. Themes friendship vulnerability dependence Mood intimate thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - conflict resolution - support groups - team building - personal relationships Key Concepts psychology social bonds Questions to Reflect On - When did you last share a fear with a friend? - How does discomfort signal closeness? A Different Perspective Vulnerability can expose one to hurt or rejection. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Closeness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/closeness/) [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [Last time I checked, a friendship needed mutual effort. Meaning we BOTH put effort in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/last-time-i-checked-a-friendship-needed-mutual-effort-meaning-we-both/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“How long has it been since you and me? Hugs and kisses. Blankets and snuggles. Our sparks smoldering without a fireplace. Losing time is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/2019-fidelis-o-mkparu/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-and-me-hugs-and-kisses-blankets-and/) 2019 Fidelis O Mkparu > [“Dad?' 'Yeah?' 'Could you tell me a story?' 'Sure.' 'A good one.' 'As opposed to all the boring ones I tell.' 'Right.' I tucked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/dad-yeah-could-you-tell-me-a-story-sure-a-good-one-as-opposed-to-all/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) > [ Faith is above all a personal, intimate encounter with Jesus, and to experience \[His\] closeness, \[His\] friendship, \[His\] Love; only in this way does… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-benedict-xvi/faith-is-above-all-a-personal-intimate-encounter-with-jesus-and-to/) [Pope Benedict XVI](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-benedict-xvi/) > [The aesthetic event is something as evident, as immediate, as indefinable as love, the taste of fruit, of water. We feel poetry as we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-luis-borges/the-aesthetic-event-is-something-as-evident-as-immediate-as-2/) [Jorge Luis Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-luis-borges/) > [“I do not know what to do with the emotions inside me. I do not know how to be this close to someone and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-renee-jones/i-do-not-know-what-to-do-with-the-emotions-inside-me-i-do-not-know/) [Lisa Renee Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-renee-jones/) > [The aesthetic event is something as evident, as immediate, as indefinable as love, the taste of fruit, as water. We feel poetry as we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-luis-borges/the-aesthetic-event-is-something-as-evident-as-immediate-as/) [Jorge Luis Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-luis-borges/) > [Women, understand that sex does not always equate to love, it just equates to a false sense of emotional closeness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enhance-dreams/women-understand-that-sex-does-not-always-equate-to-love-it-just/) Enhance Dreams > [Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/somewhere-we-know-that-without-silence-words-lose-their-meaning/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Daily fervent prayers seeking forgiveness and special help and direction are essential to our lives and the nourishment of our testimonies. When we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-l-staheli/daily-fervent-prayers-seeking-forgiveness-and-special-help-and/) Donald L. Staheli > [This is really skin privilege, the ranking of color in terms of its closeness to white people or white-skinned people and its devaluation according…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/this-is-really-skin-privilege-the-ranking-of-color-in-terms-of-its/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [Jesus Christ does not teach us a spirituality “of closed eyes”, but one of “alertness”, one which entails an absolute duty to take notice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-benedict-xvi/jesus-christ-does-not-teach-us-a-spirituality-of-closed-eyes-but-one/) [Pope Benedict XVI](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-benedict-xvi/) > [“I'd watch his smooth chest rise and fall with each steady breath, I'd watch the pulsating of his stomach when he laughed, and I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-newell/i-d-watch-his-smooth-chest-rise-and-fall-with-each-steady-breath-i-d/) [Ashley Newell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-newell/) > [You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-fisher/you-can-t-find-any-true-closeness-in-hollywood-because-everybody-does/) [Carrie Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-fisher/) > [How could they say that they truly loved each other? They had simply grown up together, been children together, and the proximity of it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-guterson/how-could-they-say-that-they-truly-loved-each-other-they-had-simply/) [David Guterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-guterson/) ## More by Gail Caldwell > [“The other thing I know now, is that we survive grief merely and surely by outlasting it. The ongoing fact of the narrative eclipses…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/the-other-thing-i-know-now-is-that-we-survive-grief-merely-and-surely/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [The only education in grief that any of us ever gets is a crash course.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/the-only-education-in-grief-that-any-of-us-ever-gets-is-a-crash-course/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [Maybe this is the point: to embrace the core sadness of life without toppling headlong into it, or assuming it will define your days.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/maybe-this-is-the-point-to-embrace-the-core-sadness-of-life-without/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [The real hell of this," he told her, "is that you're going to get through it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/the-real-hell-of-this-he-told-her-is-that-you-re-going-to-get-through/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [I'd confused need with love and love with sacrifice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/i-d-confused-need-with-love-and-love-with-sacrifice/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [Grief doesn't necessarily make you noble. Sometimes it just makes you crazy, or primitive with fear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/grief-doesn-t-necessarily-make-you-noble-sometimes-it-just-makes-you/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [You can’t change the tale so that you turned left one day instead of right, or didn’t make the mistake that might have saved…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/you-can-t-change-the-tale-so-that-you-turned-left-one-day-instead-of/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [“Most of us wander in and out of one another's lives until not death, but distance, does us part--time and space and the heart's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/most-of-us-wander-in-and-out-of-one-another-s-lives-until-not-death/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [“Everything about death is a cliché until you're in it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/everything-about-death-is-a-clich-until-you-re-in-it/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [What they never tell you about grief is that missing someone is the simple part.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/what-they-never-tell-you-about-grief-is-that-missing-someone-is-the/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [memory is both the curse of grief and the eventual talisman against it; what at first seems unbearable becomes the succor that can outlast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/memory-is-both-the-curse-of-grief-and-the-eventual-talisman-against/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [“Counting on each other became automatic. When I found a sweater in Texas I wanted, I learned to buy two, which was easier than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/counting-on-each-other-became-automatic-when-i-found-a-sweater-in/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/i-know-now-that-we-never-get-over-great-losses-we-absorb-them-and/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [The flaw is the thing we love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/the-flaw-is-the-thing-we-love/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) > [“I know now that we never get over great losses; we absorb them, and they carve us into different, often kinder, creatures. ...We tell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/i-know-now-that-we-never-get-over-great-losses-we-absorb-them-and-2/) [Gail Caldwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) [Explore all 49 Gail Caldwell quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/) ## More Closeness quotes > [How could they say that they truly loved each other? They had simply grown up together, been children together, and the proximity of it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-guterson/how-could-they-say-that-they-truly-loved-each-other-they-had-simply/) [David Guterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-guterson/) > [You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carrie-fisher/you-can-t-find-any-true-closeness-in-hollywood-because-everybody-does/) [Carrie Fisher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carrie-fisher/) > [“How long has it been since you and me? Hugs and kisses. Blankets and snuggles. Our sparks smoldering without a fireplace. Losing time is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/2019-fidelis-o-mkparu/how-long-has-it-been-since-you-and-me-hugs-and-kisses-blankets-and/) 2019 Fidelis O Mkparu > [“I'd watch his smooth chest rise and fall with each steady breath, I'd watch the pulsating of his stomach when he laughed, and I'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ashley-newell/i-d-watch-his-smooth-chest-rise-and-fall-with-each-steady-breath-i-d/) [Ashley Newell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ashley-newell/) > [Jesus Christ does not teach us a spirituality “of closed eyes”, but one of “alertness”, one which entails an absolute duty to take notice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-benedict-xvi/jesus-christ-does-not-teach-us-a-spirituality-of-closed-eyes-but-one/) [Pope Benedict XVI](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-benedict-xvi/) > [This is really skin privilege, the ranking of color in terms of its closeness to white people or white-skinned people and its devaluation according…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toni-morrison/this-is-really-skin-privilege-the-ranking-of-color-in-terms-of-its/) [Toni Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toni-morrison/) > [Daily fervent prayers seeking forgiveness and special help and direction are essential to our lives and the nourishment of our testimonies. When we become…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-l-staheli/daily-fervent-prayers-seeking-forgiveness-and-special-help-and/) Donald L. Staheli > [Somewhere we know that without silence, words lose their meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-nouwen/somewhere-we-know-that-without-silence-words-lose-their-meaning/) [Henri Nouwen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-nouwen/) > [Women, understand that sex does not always equate to love, it just equates to a false sense of emotional closeness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/enhance-dreams/women-understand-that-sex-does-not-always-equate-to-love-it-just/) Enhance Dreams > [The aesthetic event is something as evident, as immediate, as indefinable as love, the taste of fruit, as water. We feel poetry as we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-luis-borges/the-aesthetic-event-is-something-as-evident-as-immediate-as/) [Jorge Luis Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-luis-borges/) > [“I do not know what to do with the emotions inside me. I do not know how to be this close to someone and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-renee-jones/i-do-not-know-what-to-do-with-the-emotions-inside-me-i-do-not-know/) [Lisa Renee Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-renee-jones/) > [The aesthetic event is something as evident, as immediate, as indefinable as love, the taste of fruit, of water. We feel poetry as we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jorge-luis-borges/the-aesthetic-event-is-something-as-evident-as-immediate-as-2/) [Jorge Luis Borges](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jorge-luis-borges/) > [ Faith is above all a personal, intimate encounter with Jesus, and to experience \[His\] closeness, \[His\] friendship, \[His\] Love; only in this way does… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pope-benedict-xvi/faith-is-above-all-a-personal-intimate-encounter-with-jesus-and-to/) [Pope Benedict XVI](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pope-benedict-xvi/) > [“Dad?' 'Yeah?' 'Could you tell me a story?' 'Sure.' 'A good one.' 'As opposed to all the boring ones I tell.' 'Right.' I tucked…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/dad-yeah-could-you-tell-me-a-story-sure-a-good-one-as-opposed-to-all/) [Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/) > [“I look at you And I want to build things Four walls A roof A room with a view I look at you And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jos-n-harris/i-look-at-you-and-i-want-to-build-things-four-walls-a-roof-a-room/) [José N. Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jos-n-harris/) [Browse all 316 Closeness quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/closeness/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“From the first winter afternoon in the Harvard ball fields, \"Oh no--I need you\" had become an admission and a clarion call--the tenet of dependency that forms the weft of friendship. We needed each other so that we could count the endless days of forests and flat water, but the real need was soldered by the sadder, harder moments--discord or helplessness or fear--that we dared to expose to each other. It took me years to grasp that this grit and discomfort in any relationship are an indicator of closeness, not it's opposite.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Gail Caldwell" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-harvard-ball-fields-oh-no-i/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Closeness" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-harvard-ball-fields-oh-no-i/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/7a6/gail-caldwell-13660_closeness_from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-h_383164.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“From the first winter afternoon in the Harvard ball fields, \"Oh no--I need you\" had become an admission and…” — Gail Caldwell", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Gail Caldwell", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gail-caldwell/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“From the first winter afternoon in...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-harvard-ball-fields-oh-no-i/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gail-caldwell/from-the-first-winter-afternoon-in-the-harvard-ball-fields-oh-no-i/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```