--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The core belief in having to be strong…" description: "\"“The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defence. The child who perceives that h..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8de/gabor-mat-1410_ask-for-help_the-core-belief-in-having-to-be-strong-e_2467811.jpg" --- # The core belief in having to be strong enough… ![“The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defence. The child who perceives that her parents cannot support her emotionally had better develop an attitude of “I can handle everything myself.” Otherwise, she may feel rejected. One…” quote by Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8de/gabor-mat-1410_ask-for-help_the-core-belief-in-having-to-be-strong-e_2467811.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8de/gabor-mat-1410_ask-for-help_the-core-belief-in-having-to-be-strong-e_2467811.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/8de/gabor-mat-1410_ask-for-help_the-core-belief-in-having-to-be-strong-e_2467811.jpg) > ““The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defence. The child who perceives that her parents cannot support her emotionally had better develop an attitude of “I can handle everything myself.” Otherwise, she may feel rejected. One way not to feel rejected is never to ask for help, never to admit “weakness” — to believe that I am strong enough to withstand all my vicissitudes alone.”” [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote describes how chronic illness can stem from a learned belief that one must handle everything alone, using self‑reliance as a defense against feeling rejected. **In simple terms:** People may avoid asking for help because they think showing vulnerability means weakness. Key Takeaway Recognize when self‑reliance becomes harmful and allow yourself support. Themes health psychology vulnerability self‑reliance illness Mood reflective empathetic Type advice psychological motivational When to use this quote - medical appointments - therapy sessions - family discussions - support groups - self‑care planning Key Concepts Attachment theory defense mechanisms emotional regulation Questions to Reflect On - How does your belief about strength affect your willingness to seek help? - What small step can you take to ask for support today? A Different Perspective Relying solely on oneself can increase stress and worsen health outcomes. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Chronic illness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/chronic-illness/) [Faith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faith/) [Strong enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strong-enough/) [Weakness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/weakness/) ## Related quotes > [Don't waste your time to know someones weakness when you are nothing at all and believe Who you thinking you are not who really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eng-faarah-bashiir/don-t-waste-your-time-to-know-someones-weakness-when-you-are-nothing/) [Eng Faarah Bashiir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eng-faarah-bashiir/) > [I have written some stories about weakness. I believe that punishment for a weak man is doubled. So when I feel upset, I always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/osama-alomar/i-have-written-some-stories-about-weakness-i-believe-that-punishment/) [Osama Alomar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/osama-alomar/) > [Like I said, I've got too much respect for women to marry them, but that doesn't mean you can't support them emotionally and financially.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvester-stallone/like-i-said-i-ve-got-too-much-respect-for-women-to-marry-them-but/) [Sylvester Stallone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvester-stallone/) > [I have the privilege of having two parents who were capable and willing to support me - emotionally and monetarily.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noah-centineo/i-have-the-privilege-of-having-two-parents-who-were-capable-and/) [Noah Centineo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noah-centineo/) > [“It’s fine to be able to stand on your own, admirable, but I think you also need to prove to yourself that it’s okay…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-l-haddix/it-s-fine-to-be-able-to-stand-on-your-own-admirable-but-i-think-you/) [T.L. Haddix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-l-haddix/) > [“Physiological stress, then, is the link between personality traits and disease. Certain traits — otherwise known as coping styles — magnify the risk for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/physiological-stress-then-is-the-link-between-personality-traits-and/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“In any disease, say smoking-induced lung or heart disease, organs and tissues are damaged and function in pathological ways. When the brain is diseased,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/in-any-disease-say-smoking-induced-lung-or-heart-disease-organs-and/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“We sometimes find it easier to feel bitterness or rage than to allow ourselves to experience that aching desire for contact that, when disappointed,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/we-sometimes-find-it-easier-to-feel-bitterness-or-rage-than-to-allow/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [When I ask candidates to tell me about their weaknesses, I am hoping for a wise, honest, and self-confident answer. When I hear a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-sink/when-i-ask-candidates-to-tell-me-about-their-weaknesses-i-am-hoping/) [Eric Sink](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-sink/) > [“Certainly it is true that we need to maintain independence in certain areas of life. We must not be passive but active agents in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-loth-liebman/certainly-it-is-true-that-we-need-to-maintain-independence-in-certain/) [Joshua Loth Liebman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-loth-liebman/) > [“I think sometimes it’s easier to pretend to be okay than it is to admit weakness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-fletcher/i-think-sometimes-it-s-easier-to-pretend-to-be-okay-than-it-is-to/) Erin Fletcher > [Admit your weakness, God will add strength. The Lord does not like arrogance but he will empower the humble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/admit-your-weakness-god-will-add-strength-the-lord-does-not-like/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Ah, how could I possibly admit weakness of the one sense which should be more perfect in me than others, a sense which I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/russell-martin/ah-how-could-i-possibly-admit-weakness-of-the-one-sense-which-should/) Russell Martin > [Make a fresh start each day by taking time to confess your sins,to admit your weakness,and to ask God for His strenght to do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/make-a-fresh-start-each-day-by-taking-time-to-confess-your-sins-to/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Having the strength to admit your weakness is what makes you strong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/having-the-strength-to-admit-your-weakness-is-what-makes-you-strong/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Gabor Maté > [“As parents who make every effort we can to raise our children in loving security, we do not need to feel more guilt than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/as-parents-who-make-every-effort-we-can-to-raise-our-children-in/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“The fact is, we in this society are often quite removed from our own emotional reality.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/the-fact-is-we-in-this-society-are-often-quite-removed-from-our-own/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Shame is the deepest of the “negative emotions,” a feeling we will do almost anything to avoid. Unfortunately, our abiding fear of shame impairs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/shame-is-the-deepest-of-the-negative-emotions-a-feeling-we-will-do/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“Many adults have not attained maturity — have not mastered being independent, self-motivated individuals capable of tending their own emotional needs and of respecting…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/many-adults-have-not-attained-maturity-have-not-mastered-being/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [Autonomy is impossible as long as one is driven by anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/autonomy-is-impossible-as-long-as-one-is-driven-by-anything/) [Gabor Mate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“If a mother has eight children, there are eight mothers. 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The quest for sameness being the least vulnerable way of attaching, it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/peer-oriented-children-live-in-a-universe-of-severely-limited-and/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) > [“The United States contains less than 5 percent of the world’s population but houses nearly a quarter of the world’s prisoners.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabor-mat/the-united-states-contains-less-than-5-percent-of-the-world-s/) [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) [Explore all 244 Gabor Maté quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) ## More Ask for help quotes > [“What do we do in the dark night? We do nothing. We wait. We remember that we are not God. We hold on. 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You have no idea what it takes for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sara-zarr/is-this-okay-with-you-jenna-for-him-to-stay-here-yeah-i-said-it-s/) [Sara Zarr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sara-zarr/) > [“Weep and ask for help. Lean on me with your runny nose. Cry when you feel like crying. Laugh when you feel like laughing.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sorachi-hideaki/weep-and-ask-for-help-lean-on-me-with-your-runny-nose-cry-when-you/) [Sorachi Hideaki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sorachi-hideaki/) > [“Most of those who think their strength is gone and ask for help from others do not know that the strength that seems to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/most-of-those-who-think-their-strength-is-gone-and-ask-for-help-from/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [I used to think I was tough, but there's a difference between bravado and courage, and I only started to show courage when I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jimmy-barnes/i-used-to-think-i-was-tough-but-there-s-a-difference-between-bravado/) [Jimmy Barnes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jimmy-barnes/) > [“Telling a true friend that you need something makes it unnecessary for you to ask them for that thing.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mokokoma-mokhonoana/telling-a-true-friend-that-you-need-something-makes-it-unnecessary/) [Mokokoma Mokhonoana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mokokoma-mokhonoana/) > ["A closed mouth doesn't get fed." 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