--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If development unfolds optimally and the…" description: "\"“If development unfolds optimally and the child makes headway in becoming her own person, the need for attachment wanes. As it does, the maturing child..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c55/gabor-mat-1410_child_if-development-unfolds-optimally-and-the_1048840.jpg" --- # If development unfolds optimally and the child makes… ![“If development unfolds optimally and the child makes headway in becoming her own person, the need for attachment wanes. As it does, the maturing child will be even more sensitive to coercion and even less amenable to being bossed around. Such a child will feel demeaned when treated as if he or she…” quote by Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c55/gabor-mat-1410_child_if-development-unfolds-optimally-and-the_1048840.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c55/gabor-mat-1410_child_if-development-unfolds-optimally-and-the_1048840.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c55/gabor-mat-1410_child_if-development-unfolds-optimally-and-the_1048840.jpg) > ““If development unfolds optimally and the child makes headway in becoming her own person, the need for attachment wanes. As it does, the maturing child will be even more sensitive to coercion and even less amenable to being bossed around. Such a child will feel demeaned when treated as if he or she does not have his own thoughts and opinions, boundaries, values and goals, decisions and aspirations. She will resist adamantly when not acknowledged as a separate person. Again, this is a good thing. Counterwill is serving the purpose of protecting the child against becoming an extension of anyone else, even the parent. It helps to deliver an autonomous, emergent, independent being, full of vitality and able to function outside of attachments.”” [Gabor Maté](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabor-mat/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. When children develop autonomy, they become sensitive to coercion and resist being controlled, which protects their individuality. **In simple terms:** Independence makes kids resist being bossed. Key Takeaway Support children's autonomy to foster healthy independence. Themes parenting autonomy psychology development Mood thoughtful hopeful Type psychological parenting When to use this quote - Parent‑child counseling - educational workshops - family meetings Key Concepts independent self boundary setting resistance to control Questions to Reflect On - How can parents respect a child's autonomy? - What signs show a child feels controlled? A Different Perspective Balancing guidance with freedom is challenging. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Child](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/child/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) ## Related quotes > [Really being able to harness my mental approach has kind of taken me to the next level, and obviously maturing as a player and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jake-arrieta/really-being-able-to-harness-my-mental-approach-has-kind-of-taken-me/) [Jake Arrieta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jake-arrieta/) > [By the irresistible maturing of the general mind, the Christian traditions have lost their hold.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/by-the-irresistible-maturing-of-the-general-mind-the-christian/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [I was maturing in a way that all my friends weren't. 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Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnnetta-b-cole/) > [Bring up your children in the way you think other peoples children should go.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/bring-up-your-children-in-the-way-you-think-other-peoples-children/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Parents who are stressed or disturbed will have more difficulty in meeting their children's needs. 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