--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If we don't get violent with ourselves…" description: "\"If we don't get violent with ourselves, castigate ourselves, ostracize ourselves and excommunicate ourselves because we didn't live up to the standards..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg" --- # If we don't get violent with ourselves, castigate… ![“If we don't get violent with ourselves, castigate ourselves, ostracize ourselves and excommunicate ourselves because we didn't live up to the standards we set down for ourselves, then maybe we don't have to do that with other people.” quote by Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg) > “If we don't get violent with ourselves, castigate ourselves, ostracize ourselves and excommunicate ourselves because we didn't live up to the standards we set down for ourselves, then maybe we don't have to do that with other people.” [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Self‑criticism mirrors how we judge others; internal discipline can reduce external condemnation. **In simple terms:** If you harshly judge yourself, you’re less likely to judge others. Key Takeaway Practice self‑compassion to ease judgment of others. Themes self‑criticism judgment personal standards compassion Mood reflective motivational serene Type spiritual ethical psychological When to use this quote - personal goal setting - conflict resolution - team leadership Key Concepts psychology ethics mindfulness self‑awareness Questions to Reflect On - What standards are you imposing on yourself? - How can you replace self‑punishment with growth? A Different Perspective Over‑self‑criticism can cause paralysis and low self‑esteem. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Buddhism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddhism/) [Buddhist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddhist/) [Etiquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/etiquette/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Violent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violent/) ## Related quotes > [“In truth, if I admitted to the world that I believe God made me as I am, the church would excommunicate me, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/in-truth-if-i-admitted-to-the-world-that-i-believe-god-made-me-as-i/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Preach in the name of God. The learned will smile; ask the learned what they have done for their country. The priests will excommunicate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/giuseppe-mazzini/preach-in-the-name-of-god-the-learned-will-smile-ask-the-learned-what-2/) [Giuseppe Mazzini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/giuseppe-mazzini/) > [A way foolishness has of revenging itself is to excommunicate the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-santayana/a-way-foolishness-has-of-revenging-itself-is-to-excommunicate-the/) [George Santayana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-santayana/) > [“What the Didache doesn’t say is that the community should shun or excommunicate those who commit the forbidden sins. In fact, “correct some, pray…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-jones/what-the-didache-doesn-t-say-is-that-the-community-should-shun-or/) [Tony Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-jones/) > [“the Vatican is an organization that excommunicates women for attempting to become priests13 but does not excommunicate male priests for raping children.14 It excommunicates…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-harris/the-vatican-is-an-organization-that-excommunicates-women-for/) [Sam Harris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-harris/) > [As you become more aware of your own imperfections, you simultaneously become more aware of the overall perfection of the universe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/as-you-become-more-aware-of-your-own-imperfections-you-simultaneously/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Simplify your life and your mind. Think more of infinity and less of yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/simplify-your-life-and-your-mind-think-more-of-infinity-and-less-of/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Self-hate doesn't create enlightenment. It just causes you to not enjoy the current moment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/self-hate-doesn-t-create-enlightenment-it-just-causes-you-to-not/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [It is very important to always hold the thought of an enlightened teacher in your mind in a very positive way. When you direct…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/it-is-very-important-to-always-hold-the-thought-of-an-enlightened/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [An enlightened teacher simply expresses enlightenment in their life by living. It is the student's job to gain the teachings. The teacher's job is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/an-enlightened-teacher-simply-expresses-enlightenment-in-their-life/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Your mantrum is the awareness of the dream - to enjoy and appreciate and have gratitude for all; neither to condemn nor to liberate,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/your-mantrum-is-the-awareness-of-the-dream-to-enjoy-and-appreciate/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Do not feel that you are destined not to make that final liberation in this life. This is egotism in a reverse form. Don't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/do-not-feel-that-you-are-destined-not-to-make-that-final-liberation/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [What is important in self-discovery is the person who keeps going, who has a smile, who is kind to others, who works hard at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/what-is-important-in-self-discovery-is-the-person-who-keeps-going-who/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Any individual is capable of realizing the truth at any time. No tradition is necessary, no chain, no lineage. Once you have realized the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/any-individual-is-capable-of-realizing-the-truth-at-any-time-no/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Humility simply means that you do a great job at everything and it isn't really a big deal.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/humility-simply-means-that-you-do-a-great-job-at-everything-and-it/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) ## More by Frederick Lenz > [There are places that are very draining. There are places where there is another dimensional crossover but to a dimension that is not powerful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/there-are-places-that-are-very-draining-there-are-places-where-there/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [You can draw power from everything in your life. In order to do that, everything has to be set up in a proper way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-can-draw-power-from-everything-in-your-life-in-order-to-do-that/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Everyone will admire you when you do well. What a horrible thing to do to someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/everyone-will-admire-you-when-you-do-well-what-a-horrible-thing-to-do/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Nirvana is a word that means enlightenment, being beyond the illusion of birth and death, the illusion of pain, the illusion of love, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/nirvana-is-a-word-that-means-enlightenment-being-beyond-the-illusion/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [I think the most miraculous thing is learning. I get out of the way and let the students learn. Then you get to watch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/i-think-the-most-miraculous-thing-is-learning-i-get-out-of-the-way/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [If you choose to draw from the inner well of free will, then you can make choices that are outside your current karmic patterns.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-you-choose-to-draw-from-the-inner-well-of-free-will-then-you-can/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [A human being can only absorb a small amount of the mystical kundalini, you can be exposed again and again to it, but it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/a-human-being-can-only-absorb-a-small-amount-of-the-mystical/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Enlightened people live in very charged states of attention, with a tremendous power circuiting through them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/enlightened-people-live-in-very-charged-states-of-attention-with-a/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Only alone can you go into eternity. Only alone can you feel the transcendental light. It is not a shared experience because if it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/only-alone-can-you-go-into-eternity-only-alone-can-you-feel-the/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic or even boring or transient circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/balance-is-the-ability-to-be-happy-in-the-midst-of-the-most-chaotic/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [The sound man, immune as to a sacrifice of straw dogs, faces the passing human generations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/the-sound-man-immune-as-to-a-sacrifice-of-straw-dogs-faces-the/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Karma means changing planes of reality or changing fields of attention. There will be perhaps a resulting physical action stemming from the change of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/karma-means-changing-planes-of-reality-or-changing-fields-of/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [You and I are both life. There's just the experience of every moment. We like to call them moments. There isn't really such a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/you-and-i-are-both-life-there-s-just-the-experience-of-every-moment/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Why waste your time being around people who drag you down? You don't live forever, at least in this life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/why-waste-your-time-being-around-people-who-drag-you-down-you-don-t/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Everybody here is so caught up in the game of life they don't see death. They don't see beyond their deaths. They are on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/everybody-here-is-so-caught-up-in-the-game-of-life-they-don-t-see/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) [Explore all 4,399 Frederick Lenz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) ## More Buddhism quotes > [There are places that are very draining. There are places where there is another dimensional crossover but to a dimension that is not powerful…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/there-are-places-that-are-very-draining-there-are-places-where-there/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Enlightenment is lightening up.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-myers/enlightenment-is-lightening-up/) [Mike Myers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-myers/) > [The very best players, when they are practicing, put everything they've got into it. But then they leave it for a while. And it's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tenzin-palmo/the-very-best-players-when-they-are-practicing-put-everything-they-ve/) [Tenzin Palmo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tenzin-palmo/) > [Everyone will admire you when you do well. What a horrible thing to do to someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/everyone-will-admire-you-when-you-do-well-what-a-horrible-thing-to-do/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Nirvana is a word that means enlightenment, being beyond the illusion of birth and death, the illusion of pain, the illusion of love, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/nirvana-is-a-word-that-means-enlightenment-being-beyond-the-illusion/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [I think the most miraculous thing is learning. I get out of the way and let the students learn. Then you get to watch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/i-think-the-most-miraculous-thing-is-learning-i-get-out-of-the-way/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“Exactly. I think the original tantric Buddhists took notice of was some very wise old people who never studied in their youth, but took…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-niemczura/exactly-i-think-the-original-tantric-buddhists-took-notice-of-was/) [Joe Niemczura](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-niemczura/) > [A human being can only absorb a small amount of the mystical kundalini, you can be exposed again and again to it, but it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/a-human-being-can-only-absorb-a-small-amount-of-the-mystical/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [One of the things I regret about not putting in that book or I think it's there but I didn't really elaborate on it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-warner/one-of-the-things-i-regret-about-not-putting-in-that-book-or-i-think/) [Brad Warner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-warner/) > [My mom and my aunties are really devout Christians. My mom married a Muslim when I was 12, so I got teachings from both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tech-n9ne/my-mom-and-my-aunties-are-really-devout-christians-my-mom-married-a/) [Tech N9ne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tech-n9ne/) > [Balance is the ability to be happy in the midst of the most chaotic or even boring or transient circumstance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/balance-is-the-ability-to-be-happy-in-the-midst-of-the-most-chaotic/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [“The extraction of discrete parts of Chöd teachings from their broader philosophical contexts is symptomatic of how Chöd has been incorporated into and transmitted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-sorensen/the-extraction-of-discrete-parts-of-ch-d-teachings-from-their-broader/) [Michelle Sorensen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-sorensen/) > [Buddhism advises you not to implant feelings that you don’t really have or avoid feelings that you do have. If you are miserable you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/buddhism-advises-you-not-to-implant-feelings-that-you-don-t-really/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“That's all there is, enlightenment on the end of a cock. It doesn't get any more Zen than that.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jaden-wilkes/that-s-all-there-is-enlightenment-on-the-end-of-a-cock-it-doesn-t-get/) [Jaden Wilkes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jaden-wilkes/) > [Aging is like enlightenment at gunpoint. Before I had cancer, I lived my life for my art. After I had cancer, I lived my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-halprin/aging-is-like-enlightenment-at-gunpoint-before-i-had-cancer-i-lived/) [Anna Halprin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-halprin/) [Browse all 6,100 Buddhism quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/buddhism/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If we don't get violent with ourselves, castigate ourselves, ostracize ourselves and excommunicate ourselves because we didn't live up to the standards we set down for ourselves, then maybe we don't have to do that with other people.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Frederick Lenz" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-castigate-ourselves-ostracize/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Buddhism" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-castigate-ourselves-ostracize/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/947/frederick-lenz-8_buddhism_if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-c_1787176.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“If we don't get violent with ourselves, castigate ourselves, ostracize ourselves and excommunicate ourselves…” — Frederick Lenz", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Frederick Lenz", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "If we don't get violent with...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-castigate-ourselves-ostracize/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/if-we-don-t-get-violent-with-ourselves-castigate-ourselves-ostracize/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```