--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I lay on the bed and shut my eyes…" description: "\"“I lay on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking that nobody really likes marriage, that it's a flawed arrangement, that people get enthusiastic and jump i..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg" --- # I lay on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking that nobody… ![“I lay on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking that nobody really likes marriage, that it's a flawed arrangement, that people get enthusiastic and jump in for a hundred reasons and then, after the ceremony, after a few years, the whole deal turns into a concert they wouldn't have dreamed of attending.” quote by Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg) > ““I lay on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking that nobody really likes marriage, that it's a flawed arrangement, that people get enthusiastic and jump in for a hundred reasons and then, after the ceremony, after a few years, the whole deal turns into a concert they wouldn't have dreamed of attending.”” [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Marriage is viewed as a flawed arrangement that many enthusiastically enter, only to feel trapped later. **In simple terms:** Marriage seems flawed, leading to later regret. Key Takeaway Reevaluate marriage expectations. Themes relationships marriage disillusionment Mood skeptical thoughtful Type philosophical critical When to use this quote - novel - social critique - psychology Key Concepts commitment social norms personal fulfillment Questions to Reflect On - Why do people idealize marriage? - How can expectations be managed? A Different Perspective May not apply to all. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Bed Shut](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bed-shut-2162145/) [Concert Wouldn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/concert-wouldn-2162144/) [Disharmony](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disharmony/) [Likes Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/likes-marriage-2162142/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Flawed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-flawed-2162143/) [Regrets](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regrets/) [Shut Eyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/shut-eyes/) ## Related quotes > [ “Marriage \[is\] two flawed people coming together to create a space of stability, love and consolation, a haven in a heartless world.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/marriage-is-two-flawed-people-coming-together-to-create-a-space-of/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [“We do not need you. Do not come unless I call you.” Ricard crawled out of bed and shut the door as the steam…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maeve-alpin/we-do-not-need-you-do-not-come-unless-i-call-you-ricard-crawled-out/) [Maeve Alpin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maeve-alpin/) > [The best pictures differentiate themselves by nuances...a tiny relationship - either a harmony or a disharmony - that creates a picture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernst-haas/the-best-pictures-differentiate-themselves-by-nuances-a-tiny/) [Ernst Haas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernst-haas/) > [“The remedy of disharmony is not in surrender but in understanding more about ones self & acting out of pure Will... Desire 2 will;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinesh-kumar/the-remedy-of-disharmony-is-not-in-surrender-but-in-understanding/) [Dinesh Kumar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinesh-kumar/) > [Disharmony that comes from circumstances that are valid has tension, poignancy, quality, and beauty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-venturi/disharmony-that-comes-from-circumstances-that-are-valid-has-tension/) [Robert Venturi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-venturi/) > [All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony. Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/all-your-anxiety-is-because-of-your-desire-for-harmony-seek/) [Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/) > [That is why every brother and sister will react differently according to how they learn to defend themselves and adapt to different circumstances. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/that-is-why-every-brother-and-sister-will-react-differently-according/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Each individual composes the music of his own life. If he injures another, he brings disharmony. When his sphere is disturbed, he is disturbed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hazrat-inayat-khan/each-individual-composes-the-music-of-his-own-life-if-he-injures/) [Hazrat Inayat Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hazrat-inayat-khan/) > [Lack of harmony comes when I feel that I know how to do something better than you. Lack of harmony is the song and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-chinmoy/lack-of-harmony-comes-when-i-feel-that-i-know-how-to-do-something/) [Sri Chinmoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-chinmoy/) > [Every word has its fragrance: there is a harmony and a disharmony of fragrances, and hence of words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/every-word-has-its-fragrance-there-is-a-harmony-and-a-disharmony-of/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [We exhaust ourselves more from the tension and the consequences of internal disharmony than from hard, unremitting work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-covey/we-exhaust-ourselves-more-from-the-tension-and-the-consequences-of/) [Stephen Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-covey/) > [Health and disease don't just happen to us. They are active processes issuing from inner harmony or disharmony, profoundly affected by our states of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-ferguson/health-and-disease-don-t-just-happen-to-us-they-are-active-processes/) [Marilyn Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-ferguson/) > [All success in sports and athletics, from the Zen point of view, comes from the mind. No matter what kind of shape your body…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/all-success-in-sports-and-athletics-from-the-zen-point-of-view-comes/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [If you believe that man is inherently flawed-what religious people call 'original sin'-it follows that man, if left to his own devices, will tend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-dreher/if-you-believe-that-man-is-inherently-flawed-what-religious-people/) [Rod Dreher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-dreher/) > [“Disharmony at home or work is toxic to a person’s physical disposition and mental health.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kilroy-j-oldster/disharmony-at-home-or-work-is-toxic-to-a-person-s-physical/) [Kilroy J. Oldster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kilroy-j-oldster/) ## More by Frederick Barthelme > [Glimpses is dead-on about the high and tight nineties even as it reaches out for the sweet hereafter of the sixties. It longs for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/glimpses-is-dead-on-about-the-high-and-tight-nineties-even-as-it/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [Meg Pokrass writes like a brain looking for a body. Wonderful, dark, unforgiving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/meg-pokrass-writes-like-a-brain-looking-for-a-body-wonderful-dark/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“There is a feeling of disbelief that comes over you, that takes over, and you kind of go through the motions. You do what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/there-is-a-feeling-of-disbelief-that-comes-over-you-that-takes-over/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [A computer is a wonderful and friendly machine, because it's always just a little better than you are. You're always a little bit behind,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/a-computer-is-a-wonderful-and-friendly-machine-because-it-s-always/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“I remember loving pencils. I was fond of paper. I loved the small of textbooks. I loved the way the light from a desk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/i-remember-loving-pencils-i-was-fond-of-paper-i-loved-the-small-of/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“Like most marriages, ours eventually wore down all the cartilage. We were a hip needing replacement. Bone on bone, grinding, day in and day…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/like-most-marriages-ours-eventually-wore-down-all-the-cartilage-we/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“Edward Lasco was on the screened porch of his rented house in a comfortable but not elegant older section of the town where he'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/edward-lasco-was-on-the-screened-porch-of-his-rented-house-in-a/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“But if someone had slowed him down, just slightly interrupted his course, maybe he could have gotten through that one nightmarish moment; maybe he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/but-if-someone-had-slowed-him-down-just-slightly-interrupted-his/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“She said things and I nodded. I didn't pay attention. She didn't pay attention to me. We floated through our days in that way.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/she-said-things-and-i-nodded-i-didn-t-pay-attention-she-didn-t-pay/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) > [“What had been quiet and restful was now silent and empty.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/what-had-been-quiet-and-restful-was-now-silent-and-empty/) [Frederick Barthelme](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) [Explore all 11 Frederick Barthelme quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/) ## More Disharmony quotes > [“Disharmony at home or work is toxic to a person’s physical disposition and mental health.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kilroy-j-oldster/disharmony-at-home-or-work-is-toxic-to-a-person-s-physical/) [Kilroy J. Oldster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kilroy-j-oldster/) > [Every word has its fragrance: there is a harmony and a disharmony of fragrances, and hence of words.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/every-word-has-its-fragrance-there-is-a-harmony-and-a-disharmony-of/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [The best pictures differentiate themselves by nuances...a tiny relationship - either a harmony or a disharmony - that creates a picture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernst-haas/the-best-pictures-differentiate-themselves-by-nuances-a-tiny/) [Ernst Haas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernst-haas/) > [If you believe that man is inherently flawed-what religious people call 'original sin'-it follows that man, if left to his own devices, will tend…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rod-dreher/if-you-believe-that-man-is-inherently-flawed-what-religious-people/) [Rod Dreher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rod-dreher/) > [All success in sports and athletics, from the Zen point of view, comes from the mind. No matter what kind of shape your body…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-lenz/all-success-in-sports-and-athletics-from-the-zen-point-of-view-comes/) [Frederick Lenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-lenz/) > [Health and disease don't just happen to us. They are active processes issuing from inner harmony or disharmony, profoundly affected by our states of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-ferguson/health-and-disease-don-t-just-happen-to-us-they-are-active-processes/) [Marilyn Ferguson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-ferguson/) > [We exhaust ourselves more from the tension and the consequences of internal disharmony than from hard, unremitting work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-covey/we-exhaust-ourselves-more-from-the-tension-and-the-consequences-of/) [Stephen Covey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-covey/) > [Lack of harmony comes when I feel that I know how to do something better than you. Lack of harmony is the song and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-chinmoy/lack-of-harmony-comes-when-i-feel-that-i-know-how-to-do-something/) [Sri Chinmoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-chinmoy/) > [Each individual composes the music of his own life. If he injures another, he brings disharmony. When his sphere is disturbed, he is disturbed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hazrat-inayat-khan/each-individual-composes-the-music-of-his-own-life-if-he-injures/) [Hazrat Inayat Khan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hazrat-inayat-khan/) > [That is why every brother and sister will react differently according to how they learn to defend themselves and adapt to different circumstances. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/that-is-why-every-brother-and-sister-will-react-differently-according/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony. Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rumi/all-your-anxiety-is-because-of-your-desire-for-harmony-seek/) [Rumi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rumi/) > [Disharmony that comes from circumstances that are valid has tension, poignancy, quality, and beauty.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-venturi/disharmony-that-comes-from-circumstances-that-are-valid-has-tension/) [Robert Venturi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-venturi/) > [“The remedy of disharmony is not in surrender but in understanding more about ones self & acting out of pure Will... Desire 2 will;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinesh-kumar/the-remedy-of-disharmony-is-not-in-surrender-but-in-understanding/) [Dinesh Kumar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinesh-kumar/) > [Thoughts that deny reincarnation are transformed in the next life into an inner unreality, an inner emptiness of life; this inner unreality and emptiness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rudolf-steiner/thoughts-that-deny-reincarnation-are-transformed-in-the-next-life/) [Rudolf Steiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rudolf-steiner/) > [A living system continually re-creates itself. But how this occurs in social systems such as global institutions depends on our level of awareness, both…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/betty-sue-flowers/a-living-system-continually-re-creates-itself-but-how-this-occurs-in/) [Betty Sue Flowers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/betty-sue-flowers/) [Browse all 38 Disharmony quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disharmony/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“I lay on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking that nobody really likes marriage, that it's a flawed arrangement, that people get enthusiastic and jump in for a hundred reasons and then, after the ceremony, after a few years, the whole deal turns into a concert they wouldn't have dreamed of attending.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Frederick Barthelme" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinking-that-nobody-really-likes/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Disharmony" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinking-that-nobody-really-likes/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/641/frederick-barthelme-40231_disharmony_i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinki_2627530.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“I lay on the bed and shut my eyes, thinking that nobody really likes marriage, that it's a flawed…” — Frederick Barthelme", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Frederick Barthelme", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frederick-barthelme/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“I lay on the bed and...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinking-that-nobody-really-likes/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frederick-barthelme/i-lay-on-the-bed-and-shut-my-eyes-thinking-that-nobody-really-likes/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```