--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: that this is what I wanted my marriage to…" description: "\"“that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This cold, unfeeling, back and forth that has left nothing but resentment and hate? A husband is su..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg" --- # that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This… ![“that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This cold, unfeeling, back and forth that has left nothing but resentment and hate? A husband is supposed to love, cherish, and protect his wife, not parade her around like arm” quote by Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg) > ““that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This cold, unfeeling, back and forth that has left nothing but resentment and hate? A husband is supposed to love, cherish, and protect his wife, not parade her around like arm”” [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote depicts a marriage filled with emotional distance, resentment, and hostility, contrasting with expectations of love, care, and protection. **In simple terms:** A marriage that feels cold and hateful instead of loving and protective. Key Takeaway Recognize and address emotional neglect in relationships. Themes marriage relationships emotional neglect expectations Mood sad reflective Type advice reflective When to use this quote - couples counseling - personal reflection - conflict resolution - seeking support Key Concepts love cherishment protection resentment Questions to Reflect On - How can partners rebuild trust after resentment? - What steps can prevent emotional coldness? A Different Perspective It may overlook personal responsibility for one’s own emotional health. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Hate Husband](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate-husband-576352/) [Husband Supposed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/husband-supposed-1318414/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Like](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-like/) [Resentment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/resentment/) [Wanted Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanted-marriage-1318415/) ## Related quotes > [Nobody until very recently would have thought that their husband was supposed to be their best friend, confidante, intellectual soul mate, co-parent, inspiration.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/nobody-until-very-recently-would-have-thought-that-their-husband-was/) [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) > [“If you had never known how good loving could be, you would not hate it so much with your husband.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greg-keyes/if-you-had-never-known-how-good-loving-could-be-you-would-not-hate-it/) [Greg Keyes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greg-keyes/) > [“Yes, it is. It’s, like, when someone has an affair, why does the wife always hate the other woman? Why doesn’t she hate her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-hawkins/yes-it-is-it-s-like-when-someone-has-an-affair-why-does-the-wife/) [Paula Hawkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-hawkins/) > [“Poor woman, I shall support her as long as I can because she is a woman and because I hate her husband.” L”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-rodr-guez-mcrobbie/poor-woman-i-shall-support-her-as-long-as-i-can-because-she-is-a/) [Linda Rodríguez McRobbie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-rodr-guez-mcrobbie/) > [“I say nothing, not one word, from beginning to end, and neither does he. If it were lawful for a woman to hate her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philippa-gregory/i-say-nothing-not-one-word-from-beginning-to-end-and-neither-does-he/) [Philippa Gregory](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philippa-gregory/) > [No one wanted that marriage, no one. Even Mahatma Gandhi wasn't happy about it. As for my father...it's not true that he opposed it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/indira-gandhi/no-one-wanted-that-marriage-no-one-even-mahatma-gandhi-wasn-t-happy/) [Indira Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/indira-gandhi/) > [“I could only see you. I only wanted to be with you. But marriage is never just two people, is it? It's so much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amanda-mccabe/i-could-only-see-you-i-only-wanted-to-be-with-you-but-marriage-is/) [Amanda McCabe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amanda-mccabe/) > [But I wanted marriage for myself. I was not calculating about it. I wish I was more calculating.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-mccartney/but-i-wanted-marriage-for-myself-i-was-not-calculating-about-it-i/) [Linda McCartney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-mccartney/) > [“Leyel had buried himself within the marriage, helping and serving and loving Deet with all his heart. She was wrong, completely wrong about his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orson-scott-card/leyel-had-buried-himself-within-the-marriage-helping-and-serving-and/) [Orson Scott Card](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orson-scott-card/) > [I have a friend who once said, 'If you invite People Magazine to your wedding, then they should be allowed to come to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-bullock/i-have-a-friend-who-once-said-if-you-invite-people-magazine-to-your/) [Sandra Bullock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-bullock/) > [I wanted my marriage to work, but it didn't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diane-abbott/i-wanted-my-marriage-to-work-but-it-didn-t/) [Diane Abbott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/diane-abbott/) > [“Too many couples enter marriage blinded by unrealistic expectations. They believe the relationship should be characterized by a high level of continuous romantic love.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-boehi/too-many-couples-enter-marriage-blinded-by-unrealistic-expectations/) [David Boehi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-boehi/) > [“No congratulations?’ Derry said cheerfully. ‘No “well done, Derry”? I am disappointed in you, William Pole. There’s not many men could have pulled this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conn-iggulden/no-congratulations-derry-said-cheerfully-no-well-done-derry-i-am/) [Conn Iggulden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conn-iggulden/) > [I worked with John, but I had enough sense to walk just a little ways behind him. I could have made more records, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/june-carter-cash/i-worked-with-john-but-i-had-enough-sense-to-walk-just-a-little-ways/) [June Carter Cash](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/june-carter-cash/) > [“She wanted to explain everything to him—how certain notes of the Moonlight Sonata shredded her heart like wind inside a paper bag; how her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thrity-umrigar/she-wanted-to-explain-everything-to-him-how-certain-notes-of-the/) [Thrity Umrigar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thrity-umrigar/) ## More by Francette Phal > [“He looked like he could pleasure a girl and devastate her in the same breath without even trying.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/he-looked-like-he-could-pleasure-a-girl-and-devastate-her-in-the-same/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“I hate you,” she declared wretchedly in the vibrating, lust filled air. He leaned in close, lips barely touching hers as he nudged at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/i-hate-you-she-declared-wretchedly-in-the-vibrating-lust-filled-air/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“And however much I want that for you, I can honestly say that everything will stop for me.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/and-however-much-i-want-that-for-you-i-can-honestly-say-that/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“I come to you in fractured pieces.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/i-come-to-you-in-fractured-pieces/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“It matters,” he called after her and stupidly she turned to find him standing right in front of her. “What?” “Your happiness,” he began…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/it-matters-he-called-after-her-and-stupidly-she-turned-to-find-him/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“A sovereign among commoners, he appears removed from the common patrons..”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/a-sovereign-among-commoners-he-appears-removed-from-the-common-patrons/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“But I am your father, and I am terrified of you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/but-i-am-your-father-and-i-am-terrified-of-you/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“Time doesn't go backwards, it only moves forward and no matter how much we wish it were different we can’t change anything.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/time-doesn-t-go-backwards-it-only-moves-forward-and-no-matter-how/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“I’m so in love with you…” she whispered, so quietly like it was a secret from her soul.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/i-m-so-in-love-with-you-she-whispered-so-quietly-like-it-was-a-secret/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) > [“with a moral compass fixed permanently on diabolical. He was an emotional cripple with the personality of a cactus. He understood his faults and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/with-a-moral-compass-fixed-permanently-on-diabolical-he-was-an/) [Francette Phal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) [Explore all 11 Francette Phal quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/) ## More Marriage quotes > [Unmarried couples should get married - that's an excellent tax avoidance measure, if a bit drastic.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-whiting/unmarried-couples-should-get-married-that-s-an-excellent-tax/) [John Whiting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-whiting/) > [I know for my wife and I, we always loved the idea of being young parents. It is an incredibly inspiring and challenging job…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-hanson/i-know-for-my-wife-and-i-we-always-loved-the-idea-of-being-young/) [Taylor Hanson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-hanson/) > [I cannot forbid a person to marry several wives, for it does not contradict Scripture. MARTIN LUTHER, letter to Chancellor Gregory Brück, January 13,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/i-cannot-forbid-a-person-to-marry-several-wives-for-it-does-not/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [I don't like being away from home. That's one reason why I don't work as much as I used to \[when I started my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-powell/i-don-t-like-being-away-from-home-that-s-one-reason-why-i-don-t-work/) [Jane Powell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-powell/) > [Luckily, the bullet that hit my chest never got to me. It was stopped by a silver case I got for my brother's wedding.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-doohan/luckily-the-bullet-that-hit-my-chest-never-got-to-me-it-was-stopped/) [James Doohan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-doohan/) > [Do you think that God would separate me from my husband if I killed myself? I feel as though I am going out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-you-think-that-god-would-separate-me-from-my-husband-if-i-killed/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The thing about hitting kids is, think about if you were doing the same thing to another adult. Hitting your kid is really the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zach-braff/the-thing-about-hitting-kids-is-think-about-if-you-were-doing-the/) [Zach Braff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zach-braff/) > [“Take an interest in his appearance. Keeping his clothes in order is your job; encouraging him to look his best, and admiring him when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-baker/take-an-interest-in-his-appearance-keeping-his-clothes-in-order-is/) [Ellen Baker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-baker/) > [Females always say, you can't turn a hoe into a house wife, but steady be trying to turn a dog into a faithful man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hussein-nishah/females-always-say-you-can-t-turn-a-hoe-into-a-house-wife-but-steady/) [Hussein Nishah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hussein-nishah/) > [He's a fool that marries; but he's a greater fool that does not marry a fool.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-wycherley/he-s-a-fool-that-marries-but-he-s-a-greater-fool-that-does-not-marry/) [William Wycherley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-wycherley/) > [Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-jacques-rousseau/her-dignity-consists-in-being-unknown-to-the-world-her-glory-is-in/) [Jean-Jacques Rousseau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-jacques-rousseau/) > [But I think that of all the literature that I studied, the book that did more than any other to fire my enthusiasm was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kwame-nkrumah/but-i-think-that-of-all-the-literature-that-i-studied-the-book-that/) [Kwame Nkrumah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kwame-nkrumah/) > [Most marriages don't add two people together. They subtract one from the other.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ian-fleming/most-marriages-don-t-add-two-people-together-they-subtract-one-from/) [Ian Fleming](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ian-fleming/) > [Alimony - the ransom that the happy pay to the devil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/h-l-mencken/alimony-the-ransom-that-the-happy-pay-to-the-devil/) [H. L. Mencken](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/h-l-mencken/) > [“His own parents, the estimable Gilchrists, a couple who had taken the 'till death' part of their own wedding vows so seriously he wouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ally-blake/his-own-parents-the-estimable-gilchrists-a-couple-who-had-taken-the/) [Ally Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ally-blake/) [Browse all 31,920 Marriage quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This cold, unfeeling, back and forth that has left nothing but resentment and hate? A husband is supposed to love, cherish, and protect his wife, not parade her around like arm”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Francette Phal" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-to-be-like-this-cold-unfeeling/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Marriage" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-to-be-like-this-cold-unfeeling/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/764/francette-phal-39799_marriage_that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-t_2528312.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“that this is what I wanted my marriage to be like? This cold, unfeeling, back and forth that has left…” — Francette Phal", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Francette Phal", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francette-phal/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“that this is what I wanted...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-to-be-like-this-cold-unfeeling/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francette-phal/that-this-is-what-i-wanted-my-marriage-to-be-like-this-cold-unfeeling/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```