---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: No animal should ever jump up on the…"
description: "\"No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.\" — Fran Lebowitz"
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png"
---

#  No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture…

![“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.” quote by Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png)

> “No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Social etiquette dictates that animals lack conversational competence, making furniture jumping inappropriate.

**In simple terms:** Animals shouldn't jump on furniture.

Key Takeaway

Respect shared spaces.

Themes

etiquette humor animal behavior

Mood

witty observational

Type

satirical humorous

When to use this quote

- dining rooms
- family gatherings
- pet training

Key Concepts

social norms human‑animal interaction

Questions to Reflect On

- Should pets be treated as conversational partners?
- What boundaries are reasonable for pets?

A Different Perspective

Pets may be curious, not rational participants.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Absolutely Certain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/absolutely-certain-315248/) [Animal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/) [Animal Jump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal-jump-1834353/) [Animals](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animals/) [Certain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/certain/) [Communication](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/communication/) [Conversation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conversation/) [Furniture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/furniture/) [Furniture Unless](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/furniture-unless-1834354/) [Should](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/should/) [Unless Absolutely](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unless-absolutely-1834355/)

## Related quotes

> [Please don't lie to me, unless you're absolutely sure I'll never find out the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/please-don-t-lie-to-me-unless-you-re-absolutely-sure-i-ll-never-find/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Never hit anyone in anger, unless you're absolutely sure you can get away with it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/never-hit-anyone-in-anger-unless-you-re-absolutely-sure-you-can-get/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Don't lie to me unless you're absolutely sure that I will never find the truth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/don-t-lie-to-me-unless-you-re-absolutely-sure-that-i-will-never-find/)

[Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/)

> [“Why hyphenate, why parenthesize, unless absolutely necessary?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/why-hyphenate-why-parenthesize-unless-absolutely-necessary/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [Unless you absolutely have got to do it, don’t buy anything new.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/unless-you-absolutely-have-got-to-do-it-don-t-buy-anything-new/)

[Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/)

> [Faith doesn't mean you don't have to do the work; it just means you're absolutely certain the work will pay off.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marianne-williamson/faith-doesn-t-mean-you-don-t-have-to-do-the-work-it-just-means-you-re/)

[Marianne Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marianne-williamson/)

> [Not to be absolutely certain is, I think, one of the essential things in rationality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/not-to-be-absolutely-certain-is-i-think-one-of-the-essential-things/)

[Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/)

> [Nothing helps you sleep at night so much as being absolutely certain that you're right, and everyone else is evil.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurell-k-hamilton/nothing-helps-you-sleep-at-night-so-much-as-being-absolutely-certain/)

[Laurell K. Hamilton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurell-k-hamilton/)

> [“There are things we know for certain." "Oh? Name one." "The sun's going to come up tomorrow morning." "Why?" "It always has." "Does that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-eddings/there-are-things-we-know-for-certain-oh-name-one-the-sun-s-going-to/)

[David Eddings](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-eddings/)

> [“Anytime somebody is absolutely certain about something, they are almost always absolutely wrong”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-lindsay/anytime-somebody-is-absolutely-certain-about-something-they-are/)

[Jeff Lindsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-lindsay/)

> [“What is absolutely certain is that the naturalist view of things is, as I have said, just a picture of the world, not a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-bentley-hart/what-is-absolutely-certain-is-that-the-naturalist-view-of-things-is/)

[David Bentley Hart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-bentley-hart/)

> [There is no more common error than to assume that, because prolonged and accurate mathematical calculations have been made, the application of the result…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alfred-north-whitehead/there-is-no-more-common-error-than-to-assume-that-because-prolonged/)

[Alfred North Whitehead](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alfred-north-whitehead/)

> [I wish to God I knew as much about writing as I did when I was 19. I was absolutely certain about most things…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-steinbeck/i-wish-to-god-i-knew-as-much-about-writing-as-i-did-when-i-was-19-i/)

[John Steinbeck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-steinbeck/)

> [As a parent, the only thing I am absolutely certain of is my own fallibility.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ayelet-waldman/as-a-parent-the-only-thing-i-am-absolutely-certain-of-is-my-own/)

[Ayelet Waldman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ayelet-waldman/)

> [I'm absolutely certain that audiences want to see older women on their TVs.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-lancashire/i-m-absolutely-certain-that-audiences-want-to-see-older-women-on/)

[Sarah Lancashire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-lancashire/)

## More by Fran Lebowitz

> [Why not have your first baby at sixty, when your husband is already dead and your career is over? Then you can really devote…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/why-not-have-your-first-baby-at-sixty-when-your-husband-is-already/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [I've never had the experience of being edited and never will.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/i-ve-never-had-the-experience-of-being-edited-and-never-will/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/i-think-humor-is-warmer-and-wit-is-colder-wit-is-judgment-whereas/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [Communists all seem to wear small caps, a look I consider better suited to tubes of toothpaste than to people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/communists-all-seem-to-wear-small-caps-a-look-i-consider-better/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [“lack, or loutish and crass kollective is a program dedicated to the proposition that vulgarity and bad taste are an inalienable right. the lackies,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/lack-or-loutish-and-crass-kollective-is-a-program-dedicated-to-the/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/i-figure-you-have-the-same-chance-of-winning-the-lottery-whether-you/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [ \[Friendships\] are easy to get out of compared to love affairs, but they are not easy to get out of compared to, say, jail. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/friendships-are-easy-to-get-out-of-compared-to-love-affairs-but-they/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/smoking-is-as-far-as-i-m-concerned-the-entire-point-of-being-an-adult/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [If you want to get ahead in this world get a lawyer -- not a book.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/if-you-want-to-get-ahead-in-this-world-get-a-lawyer-not-a-book/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [When it comes to sports I am not particularly interested. Generally speaking, I look upon them as dangerous and tiring activities performed by people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/when-it-comes-to-sports-i-am-not-particularly-interested-generally/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [The first time I ever saw platform shoes in the '70s, I knew they'd been revived from the '40s, and I felt sickened. And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/the-first-time-i-ever-saw-platform-shoes-in-the-70s-i-knew-they-d/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [Children ask better questions than adults. "May I have a cookie?" "Why is the sky blue?" and "What does a cow say?" are far…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/children-ask-better-questions-than-adults-may-i-have-a-cookie-why-is/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [ I do not think everyone is created equal. In fact, I know they're not. \[The Constitution\] means that everyone should have the same laws… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/i-do-not-think-everyone-is-created-equal-in-fact-i-know-they-re-not/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [When I fly, I'm never afraid the plane is going to crash. But there have often been times when I was afraid it wouldn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/when-i-fly-i-m-never-afraid-the-plane-is-going-to-crash-but-there/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

> [Smoking is, if not my life, then at least my hobby. I love to smoke. Smoking is fun. Smoking is cool. Smoking is, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/smoking-is-if-not-my-life-then-at-least-my-hobby-i-love-to-smoke/)

[Fran Lebowitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

[Explore all 408 Fran Lebowitz quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/)

## More Animal quotes

> [I was 3-years-old - to this day it is a vivid memory. My family and I were on a boat, catching fish. As one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joaquin-phoenix/i-was-3-years-old-to-this-day-it-is-a-vivid-memory-my-family-and-i/)

[Joaquin Phoenix](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joaquin-phoenix/)

> [Animals know nothing of themselves, and they also know nothing of the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/animals-know-nothing-of-themselves-and-they-also-know-nothing-of-the/)

[Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/)

> [Humans are animals too, but some do not like to work from expectations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mak-786/humans-are-animals-too-but-some-do-not-like-to-work-from-expectations/)

[Mak\_786](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mak-786/)

> [When grubbing for necessities man is still an animal. He becomes uniquely human when he reaches out for the superfluous and extravagant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/when-grubbing-for-necessities-man-is-still-an-animal-he-becomes/)

[Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/)

> [I'm 38 and I'm single, and I'm having my most intense and gratifying relationship with a dog. But we all learn about love in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-knapp/i-m-38-and-i-m-single-and-i-m-having-my-most-intense-and-gratifying/)

[Caroline Knapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-knapp/)

> [Practically all animals which move fast in a homogeneous medium have found means of giving their body a streamlined shape, thereby reducing friction to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/konrad-lorenz/practically-all-animals-which-move-fast-in-a-homogeneous-medium-have/)

[Konrad Lorenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/konrad-lorenz/)

> [A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horse!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/a-horse-a-horse-my-kingdom-for-a-horse/)

[William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/)

> [“it is a federal system of sadistic torture, vivisection, and animal genocide, which has been carried on for decades under the fraudulent guise of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-tobias/it-is-a-federal-system-of-sadistic-torture-vivisection-and-animal/)

[Michael Tobias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-tobias/)

> [“What does it mean to be a self-conscious animal? The idea is ludicrous, if it is not monstrous. It means to know that one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-self-conscious-animal-the-idea-is-ludicrous/)

[Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/)

> [We must love animals in such a powerful way that we should reject to eat them!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/we-must-love-animals-in-such-a-powerful-way-that-we-should-reject-to/)

[Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/)

> [“The universe contains any amount of horrible ways to be woken up, such as the noise of the mob breaking down the front door,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-pratchett/the-universe-contains-any-amount-of-horrible-ways-to-be-woken-up-such/)

[Terry Pratchett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-pratchett/)

> [This brings me back to the image of Kafka standing before a fish in the Berlin aquarium, a fish on which his gaze fell…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-safran-foer/this-brings-me-back-to-the-image-of-kafka-standing-before-a-fish-in/)

[Jonathan Safran Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-safran-foer/)

> [That dog, I say that dog is lower than a snake full of buckshot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/foghorn-leghorn/that-dog-i-say-that-dog-is-lower-than-a-snake-full-of-buckshot/)

[Foghorn Leghorn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/foghorn-leghorn/)

> [I bet plants go like 'Weeeeeeeee!' whenever they're swallowed by a giraffe.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-bet-plants-go-like-weeeeeeeee-whenever-they-re-swallowed-by-a/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Animal rights without veganism is like human rights with slavery. It makes no sense. None whatsoever.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gary-l-francione/animal-rights-without-veganism-is-like-human-rights-with-slavery-it/)

[Gary L. Francione](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gary-l-francione/)

[Browse all 13,456 Animal quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/animal/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Fran Lebowitz"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-dining-room-furniture-unless/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Animal"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-dining-room-furniture-unless/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/067/fran-lebowitz-690_animal_no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-din_1777566.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his…” — Fran Lebowitz",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Fran Lebowitz",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fran-lebowitz/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "No animal should ever jump up...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-dining-room-furniture-unless/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fran-lebowitz/no-animal-should-ever-jump-up-on-the-dining-room-furniture-unless/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
