--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: She had somehow given over the thinking…" description: "\"“She had somehow given over the thinking to him, and in his absences her every action seemed automatically governed by what he would like, so that now ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg" --- # She had somehow given over the thinking to him, and in his… ![“She had somehow given over the thinking to him, and in his absences her every action seemed automatically governed by what he would like, so that now she felt inadequate to match her intentions against his. Yet think she must; she knew at last the number on the dreadful door of fantasy, the…” quote by F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg) > ““She had somehow given over the thinking to him, and in his absences her every action seemed automatically governed by what he would like, so that now she felt inadequate to match her intentions against his. Yet think she must; she knew at last the number on the dreadful door of fantasy, the threshold to the escape that was no escape; she knew that for her greatest sin now and in the future was to delude herself. It had been a long lesson but she had learned it. Either you think—or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and sterilize you.”” [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She feels powerless as she lets another dictate her actions, realizing self‑deception is her greatest flaw. **In simple terms:** She loses herself by letting others control her choices. Key Takeaway Regain personal agency and question external influence. Themes powerlessness self‑deception agency gender dynamics Mood conflicted reflective Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - relationships - career decisions - personal growth - creative writing Key Concepts autonomy psychology social control identity fictional narrative Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize when you’re surrendering your own judgment? - What steps can restore your sense of self? A Different Perspective Reliance on others can erode self‑trust and authenticity. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Lesson learned](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lesson-learned/) ## Related quotes > [“she knew that for her the greatest sin now and in the future was to delude herself. It had been a long lesson but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/she-knew-that-for-her-the-greatest-sin-now-and-in-the-future-was-to/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [Either you think, or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/either-you-think-or-else-others-have-to-think-for-you-and-take-power/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [I remember sitting in my room and thinking of where it all went wrong and how I ended up losing control of everything, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karrine-steffans/i-remember-sitting-in-my-room-and-thinking-of-where-it-all-went-wrong/) [Karrine Steffans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karrine-steffans/) > [“Well, what of it? I've not given up thinking of death. It's true that it's high time I was dead; and that all this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leo-tolstoy/well-what-of-it-i-ve-not-given-up-thinking-of-death-it-s-true-that-it/) [Leo Tolstoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leo-tolstoy/) > [I've given up thinking - it keeps getting me into trouble.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/i-ve-given-up-thinking-it-keeps-getting-me-into-trouble/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [I wanted to write a book about people who have the best intentions and think - really, truly think - that they're doing the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/celeste-ng/i-wanted-to-write-a-book-about-people-who-have-the-best-intentions/) [Celeste Ng](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/celeste-ng/) > [“It is important to announce your intentions at top volume, she thought, or your intentions will think you are ashamed of them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/catherynne-m-valente/it-is-important-to-announce-your-intentions-at-top-volume-she-thought/) [Catherynne M. Valente](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/catherynne-m-valente/) > [You can have the best of intentions and think you're doing the right thing but you fall down when you're going against your own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelly-furtado/you-can-have-the-best-of-intentions-and-think-you-re-doing-the-right/) [Nelly Furtado](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelly-furtado/) > [“It was in that room too that I learned not to think about anything that I was writing from the time I stopped writing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-hemingway/it-was-in-that-room-too-that-i-learned-not-to-think-about-anything/) [Ernest Hemingway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-hemingway/) > [A really big thing I've learned - and I think it's so liberating - is when you realize no one knows what they're doing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maren-morris/a-really-big-thing-i-ve-learned-and-i-think-it-s-so-liberating-is/) [Maren Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maren-morris/) > [I always think it's better to be not taking drugs or drinking or anything. That's not saying I've never done it because I have.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mick-jagger/i-always-think-it-s-better-to-be-not-taking-drugs-or-drinking-or/) [Mick Jagger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mick-jagger/) > [Don't just say you have read books. Show that through them you have learned to think better, to be a more discriminating and reflective…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/don-t-just-say-you-have-read-books-show-that-through-them-you-have/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [“And what makes humans so sure that thinking is the most important activity in the universe?...I on the contrary have never forgotten that first…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sabina-berman/and-what-makes-humans-so-sure-that-thinking-is-the-most-important/) Sabina Berman > [Facebook became ubiquitous when I was 16, so I vaguely formed a sense of myself a little bit. I had kind of learned to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bo-burnham/facebook-became-ubiquitous-when-i-was-16-so-i-vaguely-formed-a-sense/) [Bo Burnham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bo-burnham/) > [I've learned to think, I may succeed or fail, but I'm going to do so on the merit of my own instincts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-affleck/i-ve-learned-to-think-i-may-succeed-or-fail-but-i-m-going-to-do-so-on/) [Ben Affleck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-affleck/) ## More by F. Scott Fitzgerald > [“His dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/his-dream-must-have-seemed-so-close-that-he-could-hardly-fail-to/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“There was a ripe mystery about it, a hint of bedrooms upstairs more beautiful and cool than other bedrooms, of gay and radiant activities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/there-was-a-ripe-mystery-about-it-a-hint-of-bedrooms-upstairs-more/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [I want you to take a red-hot bath as hot as you can bear it, and just relax your nerves. You can read in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/i-want-you-to-take-a-red-hot-bath-as-hot-as-you-can-bear-it-and-just/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [Tireless passion, fierce jealousy, longing to possess and crush-these alone were left of all his love for Rosalind; these remained to him as payment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/tireless-passion-fierce-jealousy-longing-to-possess-and-crush-these/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [I found something! Courage--just that; courage as a rule of life and something to cling to always.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/i-found-something-courage-just-that-courage-as-a-rule-of-life-and/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“Life is a series of successful gestures...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/life-is-a-series-of-successful-gestures/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“Another dawn flung itself across the river; a belated taxi hurried along the street, its lamps still shining like burning eyes in a face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/another-dawn-flung-itself-across-the-river-a-belated-taxi-hurried/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“She plucked a twig and broke it, but she found no spring in it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/she-plucked-a-twig-and-broke-it-but-she-found-no-spring-in-it/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“I'm one of those people who go through the world giving other people thrills but getting few myself except those I read into men…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/i-m-one-of-those-people-who-go-through-the-world-giving-other-people/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [The Montana sunset lay between the mountains like a giant bruise from which darkened arteries spread across a poisoned sky.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/the-montana-sunset-lay-between-the-mountains-like-a-giant-bruise-from/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“You loved me too?" he repeated.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/you-loved-me-too-he-repeated/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“He was good looking, "sort of distinguished when he wants to be", had a line, and was properly inconstant. In fact, he summed up…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/he-was-good-looking-sort-of-distinguished-when-he-wants-to-be-had-a/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [What are you going to do? "Can't say - run for president, write -" "Greenwich Village?" "Good heavens, no - I said write -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/what-are-you-going-to-do-can-t-say-run-for-president-write-greenwich/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“The latter was considered a good fellow and a fine leader, until a year later, when he disappeared with a mess fund of eleven…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/the-latter-was-considered-a-good-fellow-and-a-fine-leader-until-a/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) > [“It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—tomorrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And then one fine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/it-eluded-us-then-but-that-s-no-matter-tomorrow-we-will-run-faster/) [F. Scott Fitzgerald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) [Explore all 1,568 F. Scott Fitzgerald quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/) ## More Lesson learned quotes > [The lesson learned: Never take your loved ones for granted. And if you’re ever lucky enough to find that one person in life who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/the-lesson-learned-never-take-your-loved-ones-for-granted-and-if-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I can go into any working circumstance and, simply, I'm prepared to deal with the work. It was a long, hard lesson I learned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-chakiris/i-can-go-into-any-working-circumstance-and-simply-i-m-prepared-to/) [George Chakiris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-chakiris/) > [“The one lesson to be learned is the necessity for every officer to cultivate belief in his own judgment, so as not to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-andrew-hugh-gordon/the-one-lesson-to-be-learned-is-the-necessity-for-every-officer-to/) [Gilbert Andrew Hugh Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-andrew-hugh-gordon/) > [One of the lessons learned during the Vietnam War was that the depiction of wounded soldiers, of coffins stacked higher than their living guards,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/walter-dean-myers/one-of-the-lessons-learned-during-the-vietnam-war-was-that-the/) [Walter Dean Myers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/walter-dean-myers/) > [I believe that God will help us to forget things, the memory of which would do us harm, or rather that He will enable…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-vaughan/i-believe-that-god-will-help-us-to-forget-things-the-memory-of-which/) [Bill Vaughan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-vaughan/) > [It was a huge deal, a huge musical discovery that became life lessons learned. You can't return from having an experience like that. The…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-harper/it-was-a-huge-deal-a-huge-musical-discovery-that-became-life-lessons/) [Ben Harper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-harper/) > [Every failure is a lesson well learned every success is a battle well fought and every friend is a jewel well kept in one's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/every-failure-is-a-lesson-well-learned-every-success-is-a-battle-well/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“In the school of life, every experience offers a lesson.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-sonnenberg/in-the-school-of-life-every-experience-offers-a-lesson/) [Frank Sonnenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-sonnenberg/) > [“Others could be victim for each lesson we learned.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/others-could-be-victim-for-each-lesson-we-learned/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Lesson Learned: When you give away a short story, even if it's free, make sure you tell people that it is a short story!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julius-st-clair/lesson-learned-when-you-give-away-a-short-story-even-if-it-s-free/) Julius St. Clair > [There's a lesson to be learned out of everything we go through in life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/latoya-jackson/there-s-a-lesson-to-be-learned-out-of-everything-we-go-through-in-life/) [LaToya Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/latoya-jackson/) > [there should be some lessons learned and how you can use the stuff you hear today to achieve your dreams or enable the dreams…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/randy-pausch/there-should-be-some-lessons-learned-and-how-you-can-use-the-stuff/) [Randy Pausch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/randy-pausch/) > [“Do I hate my choises of the past, yes, but I won't change what happened because the lesson learned would have never occured”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luke-wood/do-i-hate-my-choises-of-the-past-yes-but-i-won-t-change-what-happened/) [Luke Wood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luke-wood/) > [“Mathias remembered that once when he was a boy, he'd gone up to a pile of red apples that lay in the market cart,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riccardo-bruni/mathias-remembered-that-once-when-he-was-a-boy-he-d-gone-up-to-a-pile/) Riccardo Bruni > [Failure isn't failure if a lesson from it's learned. I guess love would not be love without a risk of being burned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/garth-brooks/failure-isn-t-failure-if-a-lesson-from-it-s-learned-i-guess-love/) [Garth Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/garth-brooks/) [Browse all 260 Lesson learned quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lesson-learned/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“She had somehow given over the thinking to him, and in his absences her every action seemed automatically governed by what he would like, so that now she felt inadequate to match her intentions against his. Yet think she must; she knew at last the number on the dreadful door of fantasy, the threshold to the escape that was no escape; she knew that for her greatest sin now and in the future was to delude herself. It had been a long lesson but she had learned it. Either you think—or else others have to think for you and take power from you, pervert and discipline your natural tastes, civilize and sterilize you.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "F. Scott Fitzgerald" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking-to-him-and-in-his-absences/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Lesson learned" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking-to-him-and-in-his-absences/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/697/f-scott-fitzgerald-72_lesson-learned_she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking_2655802.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She had somehow given over the thinking to him, and in his absences her every action seemed automatically…” — F. Scott Fitzgerald", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "F. Scott Fitzgerald", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/f-scott-fitzgerald/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“She had somehow given over the...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking-to-him-and-in-his-absences/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/f-scott-fitzgerald/she-had-somehow-given-over-the-thinking-to-him-and-in-his-absences/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```