--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You would think that the safety of an…" description: "\"“You would think that the safety of an established base would make it easier to take these kinds of risks, but no. A secure relationship does indeed gi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a81/esther-perel-3265_distance-relationshi_you-would-think-that-the-safety-of-an-es_723122.png" --- # You would think that the safety of an established base… ![“You would think that the safety of an established base would make it easier to take these kinds of risks, but no. A secure relationship does indeed give us the courage to act on our professional ambitions, to confront family secrets, and to take the skydiving course we never dared consider before…” quote by Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a81/esther-perel-3265_distance-relationshi_you-would-think-that-the-safety-of-an-es_723122.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a81/esther-perel-3265_distance-relationshi_you-would-think-that-the-safety-of-an-es_723122.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/a81/esther-perel-3265_distance-relationshi_you-would-think-that-the-safety-of-an-es_723122.png) > ““You would think that the safety of an established base would make it easier to take these kinds of risks, but no. A secure relationship does indeed give us the courage to act on our professional ambitions, to confront family secrets, and to take the skydiving course we never dared consider before. Yet we balk at the idea of establishing distance within the relationship itself—the very place that grants us the delicious togetherness in the first place. We can tolerate space anywhere but there.”” [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Secure relationships enable risk‑taking, yet distance within them can feel threatening **In simple terms:** Safety in love encourages bold actions, but separation feels risky Key Takeaway Balance intimacy with healthy autonomy Themes relationships risk intimacy Mood thoughtful inquisitive Type psychology advisory When to use this quote - career decisions - family therapy - adventure planning Key Concepts Attachment theory personal growth Questions to Reflect On - How to negotiate distance safely? - When does distance strengthen bonds? A Different Perspective Space may erode trust if not communicated ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [First place](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-place/) [Safety](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/safety/) ## Related quotes > [We have all taken risks in the making of war. Isn't it time that we should take risks to secure peace?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ramsay-macdonald/we-have-all-taken-risks-in-the-making-of-war-isn-t-it-time-that-we/) [Ramsay MacDonald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ramsay-macdonald/) > [The best way of thinking of an attachment in my view, is to see it as the outcome of an interaction between two people,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sandra-scarr/the-best-way-of-thinking-of-an-attachment-in-my-view-is-to-see-it-as/) [Sandra Scarr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sandra-scarr/) > [“likely to form a secure attachment. The less secure the relationship attachments in our first two years, the harder it is to have good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-hans/likely-to-form-a-secure-attachment-the-less-secure-the-relationship/) [Heather Hans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-hans/) > [“You were right. As you know. Other people may sail through lives of blue seas, with only the occasional squall, but for me life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rosamund-lupton/you-were-right-as-you-know-other-people-may-sail-through-lives-of/) [Rosamund Lupton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rosamund-lupton/) > [“The less secure the relationship attachments in our first two years, the harder it is to have good relationships throughout our lives.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-hans/the-less-secure-the-relationship-attachments-in-our-first-two-years/) [Heather Hans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/heather-hans/) > [“Because, sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling/because-sometimes-you-ve-got-to-think-about-more-than-your-own-safety/) [J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling/) > [American stuntmen are smart - they think about safety. When they do a jump in a car, they calculate everything: the speed, the distance...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jackie-chan/american-stuntmen-are-smart-they-think-about-safety-when-they-do-a/) [Jackie Chan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jackie-chan/) > [“Sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-k-rowling/sometimes-you-ve-got-to-think-about-more-than-your-own-safety/) [J.K. Rowling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-k-rowling/) > [“We tend to think of safety as being free from any threat of harm, whether real or supposed. However, God calls us to trust…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gale-heide/we-tend-to-think-of-safety-as-being-free-from-any-threat-of-harm/) [Gale Heide](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gale-heide/) > [I think there must be safety in numbers. If you f - up enough times, they forget which one you really did. They start…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/willie-nelson/i-think-there-must-be-safety-in-numbers-if-you-f-up-enough-times-they/) [Willie Nelson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/willie-nelson/) > [I really think that people have to think safety; taking risks for higher yield is a bad idea once you're in late or latish…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-krugman/i-really-think-that-people-have-to-think-safety-taking-risks-for/) [Paul Krugman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-krugman/) > [“They say you never know what you would do in a hypothetical situation. We’d all like to think we’d be one of the people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/huntley-fitzpatrick/they-say-you-never-know-what-you-would-do-in-a-hypothetical-situation/) [Huntley Fitzpatrick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/huntley-fitzpatrick/) > [I do not think that safety should be bought at the cost of complicating the expression of good solutions to real-life problems.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bjarne-stroustrup/i-do-not-think-that-safety-should-be-bought-at-the-cost-of/) [Bjarne Stroustrup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bjarne-stroustrup/) > [My guess is many top athletes, distance runners included, use performance-enhancing drugs, enough so that the problem must be tackled.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-rodgers/my-guess-is-many-top-athletes-distance-runners-included-use/) [Bill Rodgers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-rodgers/) > [Long distance relationship is only for those people who are strong enough and patient to wait for someone they really want to be with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharlene05/long-distance-relationship-is-only-for-those-people-who-are-strong/) Sharlene05 ## More by Esther Perel > [Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/sometimes-it-has-to-do-with-other-longings-that-are-much-more/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [ “For \[erotically intelligent couples\], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life:… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-erotically-intelligent-couples-love-is-a-vessel-that-contains/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-hard-to-feel-attracted-to-someone-who-has-abandoned-her-sense-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-want-to-engage-people-in-an-honest-enlightened-and-provocative/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships . . . which are basically a reflection of your sense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/the-quality-of-your-life-ultimately-depends-on-the-quality-of-your/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/if-you-start-to-feel-that-you-have-given-up-too-many-parts-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-regret-to-say-that-we-of-the-fbi-are-powerless-to-act-in-cases-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [You never know your partner as well as you think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/you-never-know-your-partner-as-well-as-you-think/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/on-some-level-we-trade-passion-for-security-that-s-trading-one/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“When the impulse to share becomes obligatory, when personal boundaries are no longer respected, when only the shared space of togetherness is acknowledged and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/when-the-impulse-to-share-becomes-obligatory-when-personal-boundaries/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“I do believe that the emphasis on egalitarian and respectful sex—purged of any expressions of power, aggression, and transgression—is antithetical to erotic desire for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-do-believe-that-the-emphasis-on-egalitarian-and-respectful-sex/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/if-intimacy-grows-through-repetition-and-familiarity-eroticism-is/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“She’s beautiful, too, did I mention that? She lives the life I didn’t live. I feel middle-age and middle-class around her. Nothing wrong with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/she-s-beautiful-too-did-i-mention-that-she-lives-the-life-i-didn-t/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/in-dating-if-you-say-no-your-lover-goes-on-to-the-next-person-in/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) [Explore all 135 Esther Perel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) ## More Distance relationship quotes > [Long distance relationship is only for those people who are strong enough and patient to wait for someone they really want to be with.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sharlene05/long-distance-relationship-is-only-for-those-people-who-are-strong/) Sharlene05 > [My guess is many top athletes, distance runners included, use performance-enhancing drugs, enough so that the problem must be tackled.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-rodgers/my-guess-is-many-top-athletes-distance-runners-included-use/) [Bill Rodgers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-rodgers/) > [I can't do a long distance relationship, I feel like you are over there cheating on me while I'm over here](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jawon-stewwert/i-can-t-do-a-long-distance-relationship-i-feel-like-you-are-over/) [Jawon Stewwert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jawon-stewwert/) > [I had a long distance relationship going while we were writing the album so a lot of it is about that constant struggle— you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caleb-followill/i-had-a-long-distance-relationship-going-while-we-were-writing-the/) [Caleb Followill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caleb-followill/) > [Being in a long distance relationship was the hardest chapter of my life , and it feels like killing me every time I wake…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ateh-bam-ft-kuya-ban/being-in-a-long-distance-relationship-was-the-hardest-chapter-of-my/) Ateh Bam Ft Kuya Ban > [Long distance relationship is just a trust of a woman and loyalty of a man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/long-distance-relationship-is-just-a-trust-of-a-woman-and-loyalty-of/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“I had always wanted to hear those words. I had always wanted to be your girl.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranata-suzuki/i-had-always-wanted-to-hear-those-words-i-had-always-wanted-to-be/) [Ranata Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranata-suzuki/) > [Why do they call a long distance relationship long cause they usually don't last long I kno this to b true... Maybe it should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-mccarty/why-do-they-call-a-long-distance-relationship-long-cause-they-usually/) [Kevin Mccarty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-mccarty/) > [What a strange distance there is between ill people and well ones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winifred-holtby/what-a-strange-distance-there-is-between-ill-people-and-well-ones/) [Winifred Holtby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winifred-holtby/) > [When I first met you , I never thought that u will be the one for me. even if we are in a long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jas-rob/when-i-first-met-you-i-never-thought-that-u-will-be-the-one-for-me/) Jas&rob > [They said I am a fool for falling in a long distance relationship. Gold is not found easily, you need dig hard. I want…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/they-said-i-am-a-fool-for-falling-in-a-long-distance-relationship/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Long distance relationship is not gonna work out without ( LLT ) LOVE, LOYALTY and TRUST.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/long-distance-relationship-is-not-gonna-work-out-without-llt-love/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“For you are you, and I am I, and once we were we… but as long as I exist and so do you –…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ranata-suzuki/for-you-are-you-and-i-am-i-and-once-we-were-we-but-as-long-as-i-exist/) [Ranata Suzuki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ranata-suzuki/) > [Long distance relationships through mobile communication generally becomes poor because of the weak signals and ends up due to jammed networks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amit-abraham/long-distance-relationships-through-mobile-communication-generally/) [Amit Abraham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amit-abraham/) > [I like the storytelling and reading the letters, the long-distance dedications.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/casey-kasem/i-like-the-storytelling-and-reading-the-letters-the-long-distance/) [Casey Kasem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/casey-kasem/) Browse all 132 Distance relationship quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“You would think that the safety of an established base would make it easier to take these kinds of risks, but no. 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