--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's our imagination that's responsible…" description: "\"It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.\" — Esther Perel" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png" --- # It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the… ![“It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.” quote by Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png) > “It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.” [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love is created by our imagination and expectations, not solely by another person's actions. **In simple terms:** Imagination fuels love more than the partner. Key Takeaway Cultivate your own vision of love. Themes relationships imagination expectations Mood reflective introspective Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - dating - marriage - friendship - self‑growth Key Concepts psychology attachment theory Questions to Reflect On - How does your inner narrative shape your relationships? - Can you love without projecting expectations? A Different Perspective If you rely only on others, love may feel fragile. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Imagination](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagination/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) ## Related quotes > [Total surrender to the demands of the human spirit: be attentive, be intelligent, be reasonable, be responsible, be in love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-lonergan/total-surrender-to-the-demands-of-the-human-spirit-be-attentive-be/) [Bernard Lonergan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-lonergan/) > [Some say we are responsible for those we love. Others know we are responsible for those who love us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikki-giovanni/some-say-we-are-responsible-for-those-we-love-others-know-we-are/) [Nikki Giovanni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikki-giovanni/) > [Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. 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Run](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rev-run/) > [“The human heart operates from two premises: "I Am Responsible" and "Only Love Works.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-dhyan-giten/the-human-heart-operates-from-two-premises-i-am-responsible-and-only/) [Swami Dhyan Giten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-dhyan-giten/) > [You don't get to choose, you just fall in love, and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-don-t-get-to-choose-you-just-fall-in-love-and-you-get-this-person/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Love is when ssomebody gives you a shoulder to cry on. Love is soomebody makes you laugh when you're sad. Love is when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/love-is-when-ssomebody-gives-you-a-shoulder-to-cry-on-love-is/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Sometimes when we fall in love there simply is no going back. 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You have to find the redeeming quality and love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeannette-walls/you-should-never-hate-anyone-even-your-worst-enemies-everyone-has/) [Jeannette Walls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeannette-walls/) > [“They say when you fall in love in love with someone that person becomes like a drug,an addiction you don't want to live without.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/they-say-when-you-fall-in-love-in-love-with-someone-that-person/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“If you love a person, you project things which are not there. If you hate a person, again you project things which are not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/osho/if-you-love-a-person-you-project-things-which-are-not-there-if-you/) [Osho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/osho/) ## More by Esther Perel > [Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/sometimes-it-has-to-do-with-other-longings-that-are-much-more/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [ “For \[erotically intelligent couples\], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life:… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-erotically-intelligent-couples-love-is-a-vessel-that-contains/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-hard-to-feel-attracted-to-someone-who-has-abandoned-her-sense-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-want-to-engage-people-in-an-honest-enlightened-and-provocative/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships . . . which are basically a reflection of your sense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/the-quality-of-your-life-ultimately-depends-on-the-quality-of-your/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/if-you-start-to-feel-that-you-have-given-up-too-many-parts-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-regret-to-say-that-we-of-the-fbi-are-powerless-to-act-in-cases-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [You never know your partner as well as you think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/you-never-know-your-partner-as-well-as-you-think/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/on-some-level-we-trade-passion-for-security-that-s-trading-one/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“When the impulse to share becomes obligatory, when personal boundaries are no longer respected, when only the shared space of togetherness is acknowledged and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/when-the-impulse-to-share-becomes-obligatory-when-personal-boundaries/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“I do believe that the emphasis on egalitarian and respectful sex—purged of any expressions of power, aggression, and transgression—is antithetical to erotic desire for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-do-believe-that-the-emphasis-on-egalitarian-and-respectful-sex/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/if-intimacy-grows-through-repetition-and-familiarity-eroticism-is/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“She’s beautiful, too, did I mention that? She lives the life I didn’t live. I feel middle-age and middle-class around her. Nothing wrong with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/she-s-beautiful-too-did-i-mention-that-she-lives-the-life-i-didn-t/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/in-dating-if-you-say-no-your-lover-goes-on-to-the-next-person-in/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) [Explore all 135 Esther Perel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) ## More Imagination quotes > [Social responsibility above the level of family, or at most of tribe, requires imagination-- devotion, loyalty, all the higher virtues -- which a man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/social-responsibility-above-the-level-of-family-or-at-most-of-tribe/) [Robert A. Heinlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-heinlein/) > [In literature and art memory is a synonym for invention. It is the life-blood of imagination, which faints and dies when the veins are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-aris-willmott/in-literature-and-art-memory-is-a-synonym-for-invention-it-is-the/) [Robert Aris Willmott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-aris-willmott/) > [A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/antoine-de-saint-exup-ry/a-rock-pile-ceases-to-be-a-rock-pile-the-moment-a-single-man/) [Antoine de Saint-Exupery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/antoine-de-saint-exup-ry/) > [Imagination is the greatest nation in the world!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/imagination-is-the-greatest-nation-in-the-world/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [Merkel has realized that the euro is not working, but she cannot change the narrative she has created because that narrative has caught the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-soros/merkel-has-realized-that-the-euro-is-not-working-but-she-cannot/) [George Soros](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-soros/) > [Life is what you make it¦If one refuses to use ones imagination..it will be boring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/life-is-what-you-make-it-if-one-refuses-to-use-ones-imagination-it/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Jonah Lehrer is one of the most talented explainers of science that we’ve got. What a pleasure it is to follow his investigation of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-foer/jonah-lehrer-is-one-of-the-most-talented-explainers-of-science-that/) [Joshua Foer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-foer/) > [If you've got creativity, imagination, and intelligence, and you want to be hypnotised, then there's no reason you shouldn't be able to.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keith-barry/if-you-ve-got-creativity-imagination-and-intelligence-and-you-want-to/) [Keith Barry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keith-barry/) > [“The power of imagination is strongest in the place of solitude.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/the-power-of-imagination-is-strongest-in-the-place-of-solitude/) [Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/) > [A beard is something that is almost like a mirror to the viewer. When someone sees you wearing a beard, they're seeing something in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohsin-hamid/a-beard-is-something-that-is-almost-like-a-mirror-to-the-viewer-when/) [Mohsin Hamid](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohsin-hamid/) > [I like fantasy, but I don't live and breathe fantasy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-schmidt-hissrich/i-like-fantasy-but-i-don-t-live-and-breathe-fantasy/) [Lauren Schmidt Hissrich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-schmidt-hissrich/) > [While the world of reality has its limits, the world of your imagination is without boundaries](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wayne-dyer/while-the-world-of-reality-has-its-limits-the-world-of-your/) [Wayne Dyer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wayne-dyer/) > [Edgy is fine - I'm not a prude by any stretch of the imagination - but what's wrong with a good ol' belly laugh?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carol-burnett/edgy-is-fine-i-m-not-a-prude-by-any-stretch-of-the-imagination-but/) [Carol Burnett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carol-burnett/) > [With VR, we have this same vision, which is create this ultimate platform for sharing your imagination. Our huge community of 300,000 developers creates…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-baszucki/with-vr-we-have-this-same-vision-which-is-create-this-ultimate/) [David Baszucki](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-baszucki/) > [I like the idea of letting the music do its own work and the stories being more expressionful - if that's a word -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-flynn/i-like-the-idea-of-letting-the-music-do-its-own-work-and-the-stories/) [Johnny Flynn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-flynn/) [Browse all 9,060 Imagination quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/imagination/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Esther Perel" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible-for-love-not-the-other-person/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Imagination" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible-for-love-not-the-other-person/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/23a/esther-perel-3265_imagination_it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible_374194.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It's our imagination that's responsible for love, not the other person.” — Esther Perel", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Esther Perel", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "It's our imagination that's responsible for...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible-for-love-not-the-other-person/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-our-imagination-that-s-responsible-for-love-not-the-other-person/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```