--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Even a good marriage leaves people with…" description: "\"Even a good marriage leaves people with longings for certain things their marriage will never be. So, do they accept that, make compromises, and say, \"..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f1/esther-perel-3265_accepting_even-a-good-marriage-leaves-people-with_2279731.png" --- # Even a good marriage leaves people with longings for… ![“Even a good marriage leaves people with longings for certain things their marriage will never be. So, do they accept that, make compromises, and say, "You can't have everything in life," which is what we always did? Or do they say, "I deserve more. I want to experience that thing and, you know, I…” quote by Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f1/esther-perel-3265_accepting_even-a-good-marriage-leaves-people-with_2279731.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f1/esther-perel-3265_accepting_even-a-good-marriage-leaves-people-with_2279731.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/0f1/esther-perel-3265_accepting_even-a-good-marriage-leaves-people-with_2279731.png) > “Even a good marriage leaves people with longings for certain things their marriage will never be. So, do they accept that, make compromises, and say, "You can't have everything in life," which is what we always did? Or do they say, "I deserve more. I want to experience that thing and, you know, I have fifty more years to live than I used to." It's not necessarily that we have more desires today, but we do feel more entitled to pursue them. We live in this "right to happiness" culture, and yes, we do live half a century longer than we used to.” [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People often long for unattainable experiences, prompting a choice between acceptance and continual pursuit of new desires. **In simple terms:** People want more than marriage can give, leading to a dilemma of acceptance or seeking new fulfillment. Key Takeaway Decide whether to accept limits or pursue new goals. Themes desire contentment expectations aging culture Mood reflective thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - marriage counseling - career planning - retirement - personal growth Key Concepts Existentialism psychology sociology Questions to Reflect On - What limits are you willing to accept? - How do societal expectations shape your desires? A Different Perspective Compromising may limit personal growth; endless pursuit can cause dissatisfaction. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accepting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accepting/) [Century Longer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/century-longer-4194962/) [Compromise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compromise/) [Culture](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/culture/) [Deserve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserve/) [Deserve Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserve-want/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [Good marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/good-marriage/) [Longing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/longing/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Marriage Accept](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage-accept-3242677/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Things Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/things-marriage-426039/) [Today](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/today/) ## Related quotes > [If you want to keep the light in the marriage; you must also accept the shadows.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/if-you-want-to-keep-the-light-in-the-marriage-you-must-also-accept/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [For a century longer, Rome still retains its outward form, but the swarming nations are now in full career.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-lothrop-motley/for-a-century-longer-rome-still-retains-its-outward-form-but-the/) [John Lothrop Motley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-lothrop-motley/) > [“There are no Territories to light out for, not in this century. It was no longer easy to become the new you. New or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-e-westlake/there-are-no-territories-to-light-out-for-not-in-this-century-it-was/) [Donald E. Westlake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-e-westlake/) > [Marriage and weddings are two different things. A marriage can exist between two people without a wedding. I don't understand why the law needs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arjun-mathur/marriage-and-weddings-are-two-different-things-a-marriage-can-exist/) [Arjun Mathur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arjun-mathur/) > [There are two things for a marriage to be good. One is to work hard on it. The other one is to marry above…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ben-affleck/there-are-two-things-for-a-marriage-to-be-good-one-is-to-work-hard-on/) [Ben Affleck](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ben-affleck/) > [I think that's one of the most difficult things in any marriage - in order to build anything, you must be together. You can't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julie-london/i-think-that-s-one-of-the-most-difficult-things-in-any-marriage-in/) [Julie London](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julie-london/) > [ “MR. TRAVERS \[jumping up\]. Oh, I do wish you women wouldn’t discuss the matter in that horribly business-like way. One would think the girl… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerome-k-jerome/mr-travers-jumping-up-oh-i-do-wish-you-women-wouldn-t-discuss-the/) [Jerome K. Jerome](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerome-k-jerome/) > [One of the nice things about our marriage, at least to my way of thinking, is that my wife and I no longer have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-russo/one-of-the-nice-things-about-our-marriage-at-least-to-my-way-of/) [Richard Russo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-russo/) > [“A man wants too many things before marriage, but only peace after it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pawan-mishra/a-man-wants-too-many-things-before-marriage-but-only-peace-after-it/) [Pawan Mishra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pawan-mishra/) > [For an actor, personal and professional life are two different things, and marriage is something which happens in everyone's life, and it is the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/radhika-pandit/for-an-actor-personal-and-professional-life-are-two-different-things/) [Radhika Pandit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/radhika-pandit/) > [When you start living in with a person, over a period of time, you could start losing interest. That's when you could lose out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ankita-lokhande/when-you-start-living-in-with-a-person-over-a-period-of-time-you/) [Ankita Lokhande](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ankita-lokhande/) > [There is a time for all things - except marriage, my dear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-chatterton/there-is-a-time-for-all-things-except-marriage-my-dear/) [Thomas Chatterton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-chatterton/) > [I've heard all the things — their marriage is not real, he's gay, she's gay, they swing. But at the end of the day,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jada-pinkett-smith/i-ve-heard-all-the-things-their-marriage-is-not-real-he-s-gay-she-s/) [Jada Pinkett Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jada-pinkett-smith/) > [What good is talking if neither of you are really committed? If one of you had an affair or got addicted to drugs or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicholas-sparks/what-good-is-talking-if-neither-of-you-are-really-committed-if-one-of/) [Nicholas Sparks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicholas-sparks/) > [Of all the uncertain things marriage is the uncertainest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lucy-maud-montgomery/of-all-the-uncertain-things-marriage-is-the-uncertainest/) [Lucy Maud Montgomery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lucy-maud-montgomery/) ## More by Esther Perel > [Sometimes it has to do with other longings that are much more existential. Sometimes you go elsewhere not because you are not liking the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/sometimes-it-has-to-do-with-other-longings-that-are-much-more/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [ “For \[erotically intelligent couples\], love is a vessel that contains both security and adventure, and commitment offers one of the great luxuries of life:… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-erotically-intelligent-couples-love-is-a-vessel-that-contains/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-hard-to-feel-attracted-to-someone-who-has-abandoned-her-sense-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [For some people, a one-night stand doesn't make any difference in a seven-year love affair. I don't believe the degree of betrayal is always…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/for-some-people-a-one-night-stand-doesn-t-make-any-difference-in-a/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [I want to engage people in an honest, enlightened, and provocative conversation about the nature of erotic desire and the intricacies of intimacy and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-want-to-engage-people-in-an-honest-enlightened-and-provocative/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“The quality of your life ultimately depends on the quality of your relationships . . . which are basically a reflection of your sense…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/the-quality-of-your-life-ultimately-depends-on-the-quality-of-your/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [If you start to feel that you have given up too many parts of yourself to be with your partner, then one day you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/if-you-start-to-feel-that-you-have-given-up-too-many-parts-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“I regret to say that we of the FBI are powerless to act in cases of oral-genital intimacy, unless it has in some way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-regret-to-say-that-we-of-the-fbi-are-powerless-to-act-in-cases-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [You never know your partner as well as you think.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/you-never-know-your-partner-as-well-as-you-think/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [On some level we trade passion for security, that's trading one illusion for another. It's a matter of degree. We can't live in constant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/on-some-level-we-trade-passion-for-security-that-s-trading-one/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“When the impulse to share becomes obligatory, when personal boundaries are no longer respected, when only the shared space of togetherness is acknowledged and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/when-the-impulse-to-share-becomes-obligatory-when-personal-boundaries/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“I do believe that the emphasis on egalitarian and respectful sex—purged of any expressions of power, aggression, and transgression—is antithetical to erotic desire for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/i-do-believe-that-the-emphasis-on-egalitarian-and-respectful-sex/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“If intimacy grows through repetition and familiarity, eroticism is numbed by repetition. It thrives on the mysterious, the novel, and the unexpected. Love is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/if-intimacy-grows-through-repetition-and-familiarity-eroticism-is/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [“She’s beautiful, too, did I mention that? She lives the life I didn’t live. I feel middle-age and middle-class around her. Nothing wrong with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/she-s-beautiful-too-did-i-mention-that-she-lives-the-life-i-didn-t/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [In dating, if you say no, your lover goes on to the next person. In marriage, if you say no, the person stays.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/in-dating-if-you-say-no-your-lover-goes-on-to-the-next-person-in/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) [Explore all 135 Esther Perel quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) ## More Accepting quotes > [From Augustine down, theologians have tried to compel people to accept their special interpretation of the Scripture, and the tortures of the inquisition, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matilda-joslyn-gage/from-augustine-down-theologians-have-tried-to-compel-people-to-accept/) [Matilda Joslyn Gage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matilda-joslyn-gage/) > [Laughing, laughing, laughing, laughing! It is the jester! A voice from the Void, to cheer poor Cicero! I accept your gift, dearest Night Mother.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-tullius-cicero/laughing-laughing-laughing-laughing-it-is-the-jester-a-voice-from-the/) [Marcus Tullius Cicero](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-tullius-cicero/) > [This duo inside of me causes the perfect opportunity to live and learn twice as fast as those who choose to accept simplicity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tupac-shakur/this-duo-inside-of-me-causes-the-perfect-opportunity-to-live-and/) [Tupac Shakur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tupac-shakur/) > [There is something about the South that accepts the supernatural. If you don't accept it and you're having a conversation with someone who does,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alice-englert/there-is-something-about-the-south-that-accepts-the-supernatural-if/) [Alice Englert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alice-englert/) > [We only enter into the full life if our faith gives thanks. Because how else do we accept His free gift of salvation if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-voskamp/we-only-enter-into-the-full-life-if-our-faith-gives-thanks-because/) [Ann Voskamp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-voskamp/) > [Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-colbert/don-t-be-bitter-everybody-suffers-if-you-can-accept-your-suffering/) [Stephen Colbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-colbert/) > [It takes an unusually philosophic mind to accept that all one’s suffering might be to no end, really, in the larger scheme of things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/it-takes-an-unusually-philosophic-mind-to-accept-that-all-one-s/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [No nation being under another nation can accept gifts, and kick at the responsibility attached to those gifts, imposed by the conquering nation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mahatma-gandhi/no-nation-being-under-another-nation-can-accept-gifts-and-kick-at-the/) [Mahatma Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mahatma-gandhi/) > [Even with clothing naked animals, there were people who wanted to send in money. A woman in Santa Barbara, California, sent a $40,000 check.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-abel/even-with-clothing-naked-animals-there-were-people-who-wanted-to-send/) [Alan Abel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-abel/) > [Society understands the architecture of academia and knows there are relevant qualifications in different fields, and the media accepts the idea of specialisations and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-griffiths/society-understands-the-architecture-of-academia-and-knows-there-are/) [Jay Griffiths](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-griffiths/) > [Whatever your conscious mind assumes and believes to be true, your subconscious mind will accept and bring to pass. Believe in good fortune, divine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-murphy/whatever-your-conscious-mind-assumes-and-believes-to-be-true-your/) [Joseph Murphy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-murphy/) > [Losing someone is easy, but accepting it is hard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/losing-someone-is-easy-but-accepting-it-is-hard/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [… and so he tried to accept the ache in his heart as what Dr. Larch would call the common symptoms of normal life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-irving/and-so-he-tried-to-accept-the-ache-in-his-heart-as-what-dr-larch/) [John Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-irving/) > [I think what was special about 'Music by Prudence' was the classic story of the title subject's life path - from being an outcast…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-ross-williams/i-think-what-was-special-about-music-by-prudence-was-the-classic/) [Roger Ross Williams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-ross-williams/) > [As my films are born at the moment when they are reflected into another person's mind and memories, there are no misconceptions. I totally…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pirjo-honkasalo/as-my-films-are-born-at-the-moment-when-they-are-reflected-into/) [Pirjo Honkasalo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pirjo-honkasalo/) [Browse all 6,788 Accepting quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accepting/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Even a good marriage leaves people with longings for certain things their marriage will never be. So, do they accept that, make compromises, and say, \"You can't have everything in life,\" which is what we always did? Or do they say, \"I deserve more. I want to experience that thing and, you know, I have fifty more years to live than I used to.\" It's not necessarily that we have more desires today, but we do feel more entitled to pursue them. 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