--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Why would a person prefer the accusations…" description: "\"Why would a person prefer the accusations of guilt, unworthiness, ineptitude - even dishonor and betrayal- to real possibility? This may not seem to be..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/695/ernest-becker-7036_accusation_why-would-a-person-prefer-the-accusation_1172269.jpg" --- # Why would a person prefer the accusations of guilt… ![“Why would a person prefer the accusations of guilt, unworthiness, ineptitude - even dishonor and betrayal- to real possibility? This may not seem to be the choice, but it is: complete self effacement, surrender to the "others", disavowal of any personal dignity and freedom-on the one hand; and…” quote by Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/695/ernest-becker-7036_accusation_why-would-a-person-prefer-the-accusation_1172269.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/695/ernest-becker-7036_accusation_why-would-a-person-prefer-the-accusation_1172269.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/695/ernest-becker-7036_accusation_why-would-a-person-prefer-the-accusation_1172269.jpg) > “Why would a person prefer the accusations of guilt, unworthiness, ineptitude - even dishonor and betrayal- to real possibility? This may not seem to be the choice, but it is: complete self effacement, surrender to the "others", disavowal of any personal dignity and freedom-on the one hand; and freedom and independence, movement away from the others, extrication of oneself from the binding links of family and social duties-on the other hand. This is the choice that the depressed person actually faces.” [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Depressed individuals may choose self‑effacement, rejecting personal dignity, or seek freedom by breaking social bonds, reflecting a painful dilemma between surrender and autonomy. **In simple terms:** People in depression face a choice between self‑destruction and breaking free from expectations. Key Takeaway Recognize the tension and seek healthier ways to assert dignity. Themes depression identity freedom social bonds self‑esteem Mood sad reflective Type advice psychological philosophical When to use this quote - therapy sessions - family discussions - personal journaling - support groups Key Concepts existential psychology self‑concept social obligation Questions to Reflect On - What does “self‑effacement” mean to you? - How can you balance personal freedom with healthy relationships? A Different Perspective Choosing isolation can worsen mental health and increase loneliness. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Accusation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accusation/) [Accusations Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accusations-guilt-3403871/) [Betrayal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/betrayal/) [Choice Depressed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choice-depressed-3403872/) [Choices](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choices/) [Depressed person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/depressed-person/) [Dignity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dignity/) [Dishonor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dishonor/) [Duty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/duty/) [Faces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faces/) [Freedom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/freedom/) [Guilt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt/) [Guilt Unworthiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/guilt-unworthiness-3403870/) [Hands](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hands/) [Independence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/independence/) [Ineptitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ineptitude/) [Links](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/links/) [May](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/may/) [Movement](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/movement/) [Oneself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/oneself/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Possibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/possibility/) [Real](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/real/) [Regret](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/regret/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Social](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social/) [Surrender](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/surrender/) ## Related quotes > [“A depressed person is selfish because her self, the very core of who she is, will not leave her alone, and she can no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stacy-pershall/a-depressed-person-is-selfish-because-her-self-the-very-core-of-who/) [Stacy Pershall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stacy-pershall/) > [“That dead-eyed anhedonia is but a remora on the ventral flank of the true predator, the Great White Shark of pain. 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Bolstering self-esteem without changing hopelessness, without changing passivity, accomplishes nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-seligman/once-a-depressed-person-becomes-active-and-hopeful-self-esteem-always/) [Martin Seligman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-seligman/) > [“how ridiculous it was. There is no point in treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, There now, hang…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/how-ridiculous-it-was-there-is-no-point-in-treating-a-depressed/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [One of the things that frequently gets lost in descriptions of depression is that the depressed person often knows that it is a ludicrous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-solomon/one-of-the-things-that-frequently-gets-lost-in-descriptions-of/) [Andrew Solomon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-solomon/) > [“It appears that the picture of DID as the ongoing clash of polarized personality types (e.g., good girl-bad girl, upright citizen-sociopath) is hard to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-p-kluft/it-appears-that-the-picture-of-did-as-the-ongoing-clash-of-polarized/) [Richard P. Kluft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-p-kluft/) > [You can try to have all the friends in the world to cover up your bitterness inside but if your not happy with or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisette-alfaro/you-can-try-to-have-all-the-friends-in-the-world-to-cover-up-your/) [Lisette Alfaro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisette-alfaro/) > [There is no point treating a depressed person as though she were just feeling sad, saying, 'There now, hang on, you'll get over it.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barbara-kingsolver/there-is-no-point-treating-a-depressed-person-as-though-she-were-just/) [Barbara Kingsolver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barbara-kingsolver/) > [A smile simply does not mean the person is happy. They can be the most upset, angry, and depressed person you have ever seen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/a-smile-simply-does-not-mean-the-person-is-happy-they-can-be-the-most/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) ## More by Ernest Becker > [“What does it mean to be a self-conscious animal? The idea is ludicrous, if it is not monstrous. It means to know that one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/what-does-it-mean-to-be-a-self-conscious-animal-the-idea-is-ludicrous/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“the characteristics the modern mind prides itself on are precisely those of madness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/the-characteristics-the-modern-mind-prides-itself-on-are-precisely/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“When we are young we are often puzzled by the fact that each person we admire seems to have a different version of what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/when-we-are-young-we-are-often-puzzled-by-the-fact-that-each-person/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [Relationship is thus always slavery of a kind, which leaves a residue of guilt.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/relationship-is-thus-always-slavery-of-a-kind-which-leaves-a-residue/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“neurosis as a problem of character and have seen that it can be approached in two ways: as a problem of too much narrowness…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/neurosis-as-a-problem-of-character-and-have-seen-that-it-can-be/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [When we understand that man is the only animal who must create meaning, who must open a wedge into neutral nature, we already understand…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/when-we-understand-that-man-is-the-only-animal-who-must-create/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [What is the ideal for mental health, then? A lived, compelling illusion that does not lie about life, death, and reality; one honest enough…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/what-is-the-ideal-for-mental-health-then-a-lived-compelling-illusion/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“This is one of the reasons for bigotry and censorship of all kinds over personal morality: people fear that the standard morality will be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/this-is-one-of-the-reasons-for-bigotry-and-censorship-of-all-kinds/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“Civilized" society is a hopeful belief and protest that science, money and goods make man count for more than any other animal. In this…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/civilized-society-is-a-hopeful-belief-and-protest-that-science-money/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [We might say that psychoanalysis revealed to us the complex penalties of denying the truth of man's condition, what we might call the costs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/we-might-say-that-psychoanalysis-revealed-to-us-the-complex-penalties/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“Understanding this, Rank could take a great step beyond Freud. 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For one thing, one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/if-the-partner-becomes-god-he-can-just-as-easily-become-the-devil-the/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“every human being is… equally unfree, that is, we… create out of freedom, a prison….”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/every-human-being-is-equally-unfree-that-is-we-create-out-of-freedom/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [“The point is that if the love object is divine perfection, then one’s own self is elevated by joining one’s destiny to it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/the-point-is-that-if-the-love-object-is-divine-perfection-then-one-s/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) [Explore all 95 Ernest Becker quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) ## More Accusation quotes > [It would be a piece of ingenuousness to accuse the man of today of his lack of moral code. The accusation would leave him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-ortega-y-gasset/it-would-be-a-piece-of-ingenuousness-to-accuse-the-man-of-today-of/) [Jose Ortega y Gasset](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jose-ortega-y-gasset/) > [This hype word bothers me though It always sounds like an accusation, what does it mean, advertising, column inches in the press? Bands themselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holly-johnson/this-hype-word-bothers-me-though-it-always-sounds-like-an-accusation/) [Holly Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holly-johnson/) > [Knowledge of God's Word is a bulwark against deception, temptation, accusation, even persecution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edwin-louis-cole/knowledge-of-god-s-word-is-a-bulwark-against-deception-temptation/) [Edwin Louis Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edwin-louis-cole/) > [I never mind the accusations of domesticity, as long as people recognise that all of us, even the luckiest, will live lives in which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-hornby/i-never-mind-the-accusations-of-domesticity-as-long-as-people/) [Nick Hornby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-hornby/) > [As so often, a political event involving Donald Trump looks like swinging wildly between melodrama and farce. 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Give it back now! And…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/hermione-will-you-please-don-t-you-tell-me-what-to-do-harry-potter/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Sentimentalist” is the abuse with which people counter the accusation that they are cruel, thereby implying that to be sentimental is worse than to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brigid-brophy/sentimentalist-is-the-abuse-with-which-people-counter-the-accusation/) [Brigid Brophy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brigid-brophy/) > [In every relationship, sooner or later, there is a court scene. Accusations, counter-accusations, a trial, a verdict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anais-nin/in-every-relationship-sooner-or-later-there-is-a-court-scene/) [Anais Nin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anais-nin/) > [“It will forever remain an accusation and a challenge to all men and women of conscience that it took as long as it has,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nelson-mandela/it-will-forever-remain-an-accusation-and-a-challenge-to-all-men-and/) [Nelson Mandela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nelson-mandela/) > [A moral argument about whether censorship is good or bad deteriorates quickly into accusations about who is more or less patriotic, moral, pious, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rebecca-mackinnon/a-moral-argument-about-whether-censorship-is-good-or-bad-deteriorates/) [Rebecca MacKinnon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rebecca-mackinnon/) > [Guilt has very quick ears to an accusation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-fielding/guilt-has-very-quick-ears-to-an-accusation/) [Henry Fielding](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-fielding/) [Browse all 264 Accusation quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accusation/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Why would a person prefer the accusations of guilt, unworthiness, ineptitude - even dishonor and betrayal- to real possibility? 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