---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: To be loved because of one's merit…"
description: "\"To be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt; maybe I did not please the person whom I want to love me, maybe this,..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg"
---

#  To be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves…

![“To be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt; maybe I did not please the person whom I want to love me, maybe this, or that - there is always a fear that love could disappear.” quote by Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg)

> “To be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt; maybe I did not please the person whom I want to love me, maybe this, or that - there is always a fear that love could disappear.”

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Love based on merit breeds insecurity; unconditional love fosters security.

**In simple terms:** Merit-based love creates doubt.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate unconditional love.

Themes

love self-worth insecurity

Mood

thoughtful intimate

Type

psychological philosophical

When to use this quote

- relationships
- parenting
- friendships

Key Concepts

attachment theory humanistic psychology

Questions to Reflect On

- What does love mean to you?
- How can you give love without expectations?

A Different Perspective

Unconditional love is hard to practice.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Deserve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserve/) [Deserves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserves/) [Disappear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappear/) [Doubt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doubt/) [Fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fear/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love Does](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-does-231468/) [Love Maybe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-maybe-273004/) [Merit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/merit/) [Merit Deserves](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/merit-deserves-2467266/) [Persons](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/persons/) [Please](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/please/) [Want](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want/) [Want Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/want-love-253617/)

## Related quotes

> [A doctor who keeps a person from becoming ill deserves more merit than one who cures him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vincent-de-paul/a-doctor-who-keeps-a-person-from-becoming-ill-deserves-more-merit/)

[Vincent de Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vincent-de-paul/)

> [Also in contemporary Western society the union with the group is the prevalent way of overcoming separateness. It is a union which the individual…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/also-in-contemporary-western-society-the-union-with-the-group-is-the/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Sippin' on that brown stuff Got you feeling like you found love, Or maybe it was just luck. But honestly...it's probably none of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slug/sippin-on-that-brown-stuff-got-you-feeling-like-you-found-love-or/)

[Slug](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slug/)

> [“If someone loved you -someone decent and kind that is- you had a responsibility not to trample all over her heart. And while he…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-quinn/if-someone-loved-you-someone-decent-and-kind-that-is-you-had-a/)

[Julia Quinn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-quinn/)

> [The say we're too young to love but maybe they're too old to remember .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-aveyro/the-say-we-re-too-young-to-love-but-maybe-they-re-too-old-to-remember/)

[Nathaniel Aveyro](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-aveyro/)

> [It's been exactly one year since I've seen you. Im not sure how I'm still able to keep pushing on. I thought it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabby/it-s-been-exactly-one-year-since-i-ve-seen-you-im-not-sure-how-i-m/)

[Gabby](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabby/)

> [“Put love in everything you do. If you can't, then maybe you shouldn't do.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carina-aguilar/put-love-in-everything-you-do-if-you-can-t-then-maybe-you-shouldn-t-do/)

[Carina Aguilar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carina-aguilar/)

> [When you're doubt the love you get from someone..maybe because you are also doubt your love towards someone..](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cherry-diaz/when-you-re-doubt-the-love-you-get-from-someone-maybe-because-you-are/)

[Cherry Diaz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cherry-diaz/)

> [I know you’ll never love me but maybe you’ll stay for awhile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-rollins/i-know-you-ll-never-love-me-but-maybe-you-ll-stay-for-awhile/)

[Henry Rollins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-rollins/)

> [Sex without love maybe an empty encounter, but an empty encounter is still an encounter!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cv-pillay/sex-without-love-maybe-an-empty-encounter-but-an-empty-encounter-is/)

[Cv Pillay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cv-pillay/)

> [Maybe they were right. Maybe I did get my hopes up to high. Maybe I was over my head. Maybe I am the stupid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/maybe-they-were-right-maybe-i-did-get-my-hopes-up-to-high-maybe-i-was/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Saying I love you maybe be something but not saying it will never be anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/saying-i-love-you-maybe-be-something-but-not-saying-it-will-never-be/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Yes I love him, I love him more than anything in this world and there is nothing that I would like better than to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/yes-i-love-him-i-love-him-more-than-anything-in-this-world-and-there/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [The moment I think about you I go to another world A world where you love me too And where I can never be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fad-ibra/the-moment-i-think-about-you-i-go-to-another-world-a-world-where-you/)

[Fad Ibra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fad-ibra/)

> [“Love maybe? Why can't I have that?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-averett/love-maybe-why-can-t-i-have-that/)

[Edward Averett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-averett/)

## More by Erich Fromm

> [The capacity to be puzzled is the premise of all creation, be it in art or in science.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/the-capacity-to-be-puzzled-is-the-premise-of-all-creation-be-it-in/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Only when man succeeds in developing his reason and love further than he has done so far, only when he can build a world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/only-when-man-succeeds-in-developing-his-reason-and-love-further-than/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Freedom does not mean license.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/freedom-does-not-mean-license/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [“It is hardly necessary to stress the fact that the ability to love as an act of giving depends on the character development of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/it-is-hardly-necessary-to-stress-the-fact-that-the-ability-to-love-as/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [The pace of science forces the pace of technique. Theoretical physics forces atomic energy on us; the successful production of the fission bomb forces…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/the-pace-of-science-forces-the-pace-of-technique-theoretical-physics/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Exploitation and manipulation produce boredom and triviality; they cripple man, and all factors that make man into a psychic cripple turn him also into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/exploitation-and-manipulation-produce-boredom-and-triviality-they/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Well-being is possible to the degree to which one has overcome one's narcissism; to the degree to which one is open, responsive, sensitive, awake,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/well-being-is-possible-to-the-degree-to-which-one-has-overcome-one-s/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [“The wealth of data to be found in social and political life. The belief that people do not want to make sacrifices is notoriously…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/the-wealth-of-data-to-be-found-in-social-and-political-life-the/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [By equality, one once understood equality in the very same sense in which the Bible speaks of equality: that we are all equal, inasmuch…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/by-equality-one-once-understood-equality-in-the-very-same-sense-in/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [“Human beings had two basic orientations: HAVING and BEING HAVING: seeks to acquire, posses things even people BEING: focuses on the experience; exchanging, engaging,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/human-beings-had-two-basic-orientations-having-and-being-having-seeks/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [“Most people are not even aware of their need to conform. They live under the illusion that they follow their own ideas and inclinations,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/most-people-are-not-even-aware-of-their-need-to-conform-they-live/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Just as modern mass production requires the standardization of commodities, so the social process requires standardization of man, and this standardization is called equality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/just-as-modern-mass-production-requires-the-standardization-of/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [To respect a person is not possible without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by knowledge.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/to-respect-a-person-is-not-possible-without-knowing-him-care-and/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [Love is an active power in man; a power which breaks through the walls which separate man from his fellow men, which unite him…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/love-is-an-active-power-in-man-a-power-which-breaks-through-the-walls/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

> [“Perhaps most trivial talk is a need to talk about oneself; hence, the never-ending subject of health and sickness, children, travel, successes, what one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/perhaps-most-trivial-talk-is-a-need-to-talk-about-oneself-hence-the/)

[Erich Fromm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

[Explore all 558 Erich Fromm quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/)

## More Deserve quotes

> [If you are well-mannered towards those whose views are similar to yours, you may be said to exhibit a fairly good character. But, if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-you-are-well-mannered-towards-those-whose-views-are-similar-to/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [ Vote for Donald Trump. You're going to see something and you'll be so happy, you'll be so thrilled. This \[presidential\] election is about every… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-trump/vote-for-donald-trump-you-re-going-to-see-something-and-you-ll-be-so/)

[Donald Trump](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-trump/)

> [I am a millionaire today and my wife deserves all of the credit. Before I met her I was a multi-millionaire.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chi-chi-rodriguez/i-am-a-millionaire-today-and-my-wife-deserves-all-of-the-credit/)

[Chi Chi Rodriguez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chi-chi-rodriguez/)

> [There is a way to be a woman, ask for what we deserve and be able to negotiate.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tracee-ellis-ross/there-is-a-way-to-be-a-woman-ask-for-what-we-deserve-and-be-able-to/)

[Tracee Ellis Ross](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tracee-ellis-ross/)

> [If every nation gets the government it deserves, every generation writes the history which corresponds with its view of the world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-janeway/if-every-nation-gets-the-government-it-deserves-every-generation/)

[Elizabeth Janeway](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-janeway/)

> [I used to hurt so badly that I'd ask God why, what have I done to deserve any of this? I feel now He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eden-phillpotts/i-used-to-hurt-so-badly-that-i-d-ask-god-why-what-have-i-done-to/)

[Eden Phillpotts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eden-phillpotts/)

> [I am encouraged President Obama now says he will fulfill his constitutional obligation to seek authorization for any potential military action in Syria. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rand-paul/i-am-encouraged-president-obama-now-says-he-will-fulfill-his/)

[Rand Paul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rand-paul/)

> [My prayer to the Lord every day, is this-I have been a great sinner. I do not deserve Heaven. Let me stay here.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andres-segovia/my-prayer-to-the-lord-every-day-is-this-i-have-been-a-great-sinner-i/)

[Andres Segovia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andres-segovia/)

> [Every girl deserves a guy who'll prove to her that not all guys are the same, a guy who'll love her just the way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/every-girl-deserves-a-guy-who-ll-prove-to-her-that-not-all-guys-are/)

[Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/)

> [If you are a white male, you don't deserve to live. You are a cancer, you're a disease, white males have never contributed anything…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noel-ignatiev/if-you-are-a-white-male-you-don-t-deserve-to-live-you-are-a-cancer/)

[Noel Ignatiev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noel-ignatiev/)

> [Singaporeans like Mr. Alfian Sa'at do not deserve to be admonished in Parliament on the basis of a selective reading of their works.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pritam-singh/singaporeans-like-mr-alfian-sa-at-do-not-deserve-to-be-admonished-in/)

[Pritam Singh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pritam-singh/)

> [Use every man according to his desert and who should 'scape whipping? Use them after your own honor and dignity, the less they deserve…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/use-every-man-according-to-his-desert-and-who-should-scape-whipping/)

[William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/)

> [“We should not elevate anyone higher than our own heart. If you do not value what you have to give then no one else…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christine-evangelou/we-should-not-elevate-anyone-higher-than-our-own-heart-if-you-do-not/)

[Christine Evangelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christine-evangelou/)

> [“I deserve you least of all. But I want you the most. And I won't give up. The lengths I'm willing to go to...One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ali-hazelwood/i-deserve-you-least-of-all-but-i-want-you-the-most-and-i-won-t-give/)

[Ali Hazelwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ali-hazelwood/)

> [I am constantly nice to people. Sometimes they don't deserve it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rylan-clark-neal/i-am-constantly-nice-to-people-sometimes-they-don-t-deserve-it/)

[Rylan Clark-Neal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rylan-clark-neal/)

[Browse all 4,764 Deserve quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/deserve/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "To be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt; maybe I did not please the person whom I want to love me, maybe this, or that - there is always a fear that love could disappear.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Erich Fromm"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-because-one-deserves-it-always/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Deserve"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-because-one-deserves-it-always/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/2e7/erich-fromm-367_deserve_to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-becau_2666205.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“To be loved because of one's merit, because one deserves it, always leaves doubt; maybe I did not please the…” — Erich Fromm",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Erich Fromm",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erich-fromm/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "To be loved because of one's...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-because-one-deserves-it-always/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erich-fromm/to-be-loved-because-of-one-s-merit-because-one-deserves-it-always/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
