--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is not the skills we actually have…" description: "\"“It is not the skills we actually have that determine how we feel but the ones we think we have\" ... we experience flow, a state of mind where we are s..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png" --- # It is not the skills we actually have that determine how… ![“It is not the skills we actually have that determine how we feel but the ones we think we have" ... we experience flow, a state of mind where we are so engaged in an activity that our worries evaporate and we lose track of time.” quote by Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png) > ““It is not the skills we actually have that determine how we feel but the ones we think we have" ... we experience flow, a state of mind where we are so engaged in an activity that our worries evaporate and we lose track of time.”” [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Perceived competence drives confidence and engagement more than actual skill level, enabling a flow state where worries fade. **In simple terms:** Self‑belief fuels performance Key Takeaway Mindset shapes experience Themes self‑efficacy flow psychology of confidence motivation cognitive appraisal Mood motivated focused optimistic Type inspirational psychological motivational When to use this quote - learning a new hobby - public speaking - sports competition - creative writing - leadership tasks Key Concepts self‑efficacy flow state perception vs reality Practical Applications - coaching for confidence - designing training that builds perceived competence Questions to Reflect On - How does belief in one's abilities affect performance? - What strategies can enhance perceived skill without overconfidence? ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Flow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/flow/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [State of mind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/state-of-mind/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/) ## Related quotes > [“Doing activities that you love to do, even a few minutes a day, can help you experience more flow, improve your well-being, and help…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurie-e-smith/doing-activities-that-you-love-to-do-even-a-few-minutes-a-day-can/) [Laurie E. Smith](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurie-e-smith/) > [I would suggest that our listening is the main way that we experience the flow of time from past to future.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julian-treasure/i-would-suggest-that-our-listening-is-the-main-way-that-we-experience/) [Julian Treasure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julian-treasure/) > [“To build your working life around the experience of flow produced by deep work is a proven path to deep satisfaction.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cal-newport/to-build-your-working-life-around-the-experience-of-flow-produced-by/) [Cal Newport](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cal-newport/) > [“The psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced six-cent-mihaly) has done more than anyone else to study this state of effortless attending, and the name he proposed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-kahneman/the-psychologist-mihaly-csikszentmihalyi-pronounced-six-cent-mihaly/) [Daniel Kahneman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-kahneman/) > [“The tremendous leisure industry that has arisen in the last few generations has been designed to help fill free time with enjoyable experiences. Nevertheless,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/the-tremendous-leisure-industry-that-has-arisen-in-the-last-few/) [Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mihaly-csikszentmihalyi/) > [“And the dark night of flow is an issue that society has not made particularly easy to handle. How many people have stopped playing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-kotler/and-the-dark-night-of-flow-is-an-issue-that-society-has-not-made/) [Steven Kotler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-kotler/) > [If my mind is not engaged in my worship, it is as though I worshipped not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/confucius/if-my-mind-is-not-engaged-in-my-worship-it-is-as-though-i-worshipped/) [Confucius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/confucius/) > [I got too fed up with films that didn't make you think. I liked the idea of one that you'd have to be dancing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guy-ritchie/i-got-too-fed-up-with-films-that-didn-t-make-you-think-i-liked-the/) [Guy Ritchie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guy-ritchie/) > [As any parent knows, part of your mind is always engaged - wondering and worrying that everything is okay and calculating all the stuff…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-michaels/as-any-parent-knows-part-of-your-mind-is-always-engaged-wondering-and/) [Anne Michaels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-michaels/) > [We must not settle for an informed mind without an engaged heart.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/we-must-not-settle-for-an-informed-mind-without-an-engaged-heart/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) > [“I'd rather read than relax. I'd rather keep the mind engaged.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/harlon-corben/i-d-rather-read-than-relax-i-d-rather-keep-the-mind-engaged/) Harlon Corben > [Creativity arises from a constant churn of ideas, and one of the easiest ways to encourage that fertile froth is to keep your mind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gretchen-rubin/creativity-arises-from-a-constant-churn-of-ideas-and-one-of-the/) [Gretchen Rubin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gretchen-rubin/) > [When your heart and your mind are engaged, you cannot go wrong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yo-yo-ma/when-your-heart-and-your-mind-are-engaged-you-cannot-go-wrong/) [Yo-Yo Ma](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yo-yo-ma/) > [“I had a day when I was busy in the world, where the activity created a turmoil on the surface of my consciousness like…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/swami-dhyan-giten/i-had-a-day-when-i-was-busy-in-the-world-where-the-activity-created-a/) [Swami Dhyan Giten](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/swami-dhyan-giten/) > [If my mind be not engaged in worship, it is as though I worshipped not.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/confucius/if-my-mind-be-not-engaged-in-worship-it-is-as-though-i-worshipped-not/) [Confucius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/confucius/) ## More by Eric Weiner > [We can't love a place or a person if we always have one foot out the door.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/we-can-t-love-a-place-or-a-person-if-we-always-have-one-foot-out-the/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“Money sometimes buys happiness. You have to break it down, though. Money is a means to an end. The problem is when you think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/money-sometimes-buys-happiness-you-have-to-break-it-down-though-money/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“My way of thinking is completely different,” he says. “I have no such mountains to scale; basically, I find that living itself is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/my-way-of-thinking-is-completely-different-he-says-i-have-no-such/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“Social scientists estimate that about 70 percent of our happiness stems from our relationships, both quantity and quality, with friends, family, coworkers, and neighbors.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/social-scientists-estimate-that-about-70-percent-of-our-happiness/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“In a nutshell, Gross National Happiness seeks to measure a nation’s progress not by its balance sheet but rather by the happiness—or unhappiness—of its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/in-a-nutshell-gross-national-happiness-seeks-to-measure-a-nation-s/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [You look around the world at geniuses, and they don't appear randomly, they appear in genius clusters. 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That’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/he-tells-me-of-one-american-woman-forty-five-years-old-who-was-able/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“We need to a new word to describe Swiss happiness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/we-need-to-a-new-word-to-describe-swiss-happiness/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“The narrator, in a voice-of-God tenor, explains the experiment.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/the-narrator-in-a-voice-of-god-tenor-explains-the-experiment/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“Yes, but it doesn’t matter, Csíkszentmihalyi argues. Either way, we experience flow, a state of mind where we are so engaged in an activity…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/yes-but-it-doesn-t-matter-cs-kszentmihalyi-argues-either-way-we/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere, doing something else, being someone else. Maybe the current conditions in Switzerland .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/maybe-happiness-is-this-not-feeling-like-you-should-be-elsewhere/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“Everyone has their own idea of happiness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/everyone-has-their-own-idea-of-happiness/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) > [“The British academic Richard Schoch, in his book The Secrets of Happiness, put it this way: “Your imagination must, to some extent, be found…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/the-british-academic-richard-schoch-in-his-book-the-secrets-of/) [Eric Weiner](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) [Explore all 194 Eric Weiner quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/) ## More Flow quotes > [Humanitarian goods and people must flow in both directions. Gaza cannot and must not be allowed to remain a prison camp.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-cameron/humanitarian-goods-and-people-must-flow-in-both-directions-gaza/) [David Cameron](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-cameron/) > [Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein the problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tobias-wolff/memory-is-funny-once-you-hit-a-vein-the-problem-is-not-how-to/) [Tobias Wolff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tobias-wolff/) > [Behind every word flows energy. If you use your words to gossip or babble about what you are going to do before you do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sonia-choquette/behind-every-word-flows-energy-if-you-use-your-words-to-gossip-or/) [Sonia Choquette](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sonia-choquette/) > [We need to discover all over again that worship is natural to the Christian, as it was to the godly Israelites who wrote the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-i-packer/we-need-to-discover-all-over-again-that-worship-is-natural-to-the/) [J. I. Packer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-i-packer/) > [I take the seashell from my jeans pocket and rub my fingers across its silken, indented surface, shallow as my own open hand. This…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katrina-kenison/i-take-the-seashell-from-my-jeans-pocket-and-rub-my-fingers-across/) [Katrina Kenison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katrina-kenison/) > [Like the water of a deep stream, love is always too much. We did not make it. Though we drink till we burst, we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wendell-berry/like-the-water-of-a-deep-stream-love-is-always-too-much-we-did-not/) [Wendell Berry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wendell-berry/) > [Forgetting your Self is the greatest injury; all the calamities flow from it. Take care of the most important, the lesser will take care…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sri-nisargadatta-maharaj/forgetting-your-self-is-the-greatest-injury-all-the-calamities-flow/) [Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sri-nisargadatta-maharaj/) > [“When we strike a balance between the challenge of an activity and our skill at performing it, when the rhythm of the work itself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ariel-gore/when-we-strike-a-balance-between-the-challenge-of-an-activity-and-our/) [Ariel Gore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ariel-gore/) > [When we fall utterly, something gathers us up. But our falling must be without reservation, without expectation, without hope, though not hopeless. You cant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-housden/when-we-fall-utterly-something-gathers-us-up-but-our-falling-must-be/) [Roger Housden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-housden/) > [I have this belief about things happening organically. I believe life has this organic flow in a way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naoko-mori/i-have-this-belief-about-things-happening-organically-i-believe-life/) Naoko Mori > [Sometimes by a woodland stream he watched the water rush over the pebbled bed, its tiny modulations of bounce and flow. A woman's body…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/sometimes-by-a-woodland-stream-he-watched-the-water-rush-over-the/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [David Rockefeller is the most conspicuous representative today of the ruling class, a multinational fraternity of men who shape the global economy and manage…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-moyers/david-rockefeller-is-the-most-conspicuous-representative-today-of-the/) [Bill Moyers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-moyers/) > [The tides which flow and lapse in the Bristol Channel are often distained by the freshets of many streams falling through wooded coombes below…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henry-williamson/the-tides-which-flow-and-lapse-in-the-bristol-channel-are-often/) [Henry Williamson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henry-williamson/) > [“Life is a flow which we can either resist or go with it gracefully.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tonmoy-acharjee/life-is-a-flow-which-we-can-either-resist-or-go-with-it-gracefully/) Tonmoy Acharjee > [What a strange power the perception of beauty is! It seems to ebb and flow like some secret tide, independent alike of health and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-c-benson/what-a-strange-power-the-perception-of-beauty-is-it-seems-to-ebb-and/) [A. C. Benson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-c-benson/) [Browse all 3,282 Flow quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/flow/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It is not the skills we actually have that determine how we feel but the ones we think we have\" ... we experience flow, a state of mind where we are so engaged in an activity that our worries evaporate and we lose track of time.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Eric Weiner" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-that-determine-how-we-feel-but/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Flow" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-that-determine-how-we-feel-but/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/66e/eric-weiner-1843_flow_it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-th_69258.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is not the skills we actually have that determine how we feel but the ones we think we have\" ... we…” — Eric Weiner", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Eric Weiner", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-weiner/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It is not the skills we...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-that-determine-how-we-feel-but/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-weiner/it-is-not-the-skills-we-actually-have-that-determine-how-we-feel-but/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```