--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Society frowns upon candidness, except in…" description: "\"“Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good sense knows that it can always be abused; and the Child fears it because of the unmasking whic..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg" --- # Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good… ![“Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good sense knows that it can always be abused; and the Child fears it because of the unmasking which it involves. Hence in order to get away from the ennui of pastimes without exposing themselves to the dangers of intimacy, most people compromise…” quote by Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg) > ““Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good sense knows that it can always be abused; and the Child fears it because of the unmasking which it involves. Hence in order to get away from the ennui of pastimes without exposing themselves to the dangers of intimacy, most people compromise for games when they are available, and these fill the major part of the more interesting hours of social intercourse. That is the social significance of games.”” [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People avoid genuine intimacy because it feels risky, so they turn to games as a safe, socially acceptable distraction. **In simple terms:** Games replace real connection to avoid vulnerability. Key Takeaway Choose authentic interaction over superficial play. Themes vulnerability social interaction games intimacy coping meaning Mood reflective analytical Type observational psychological When to use this quote - party gatherings - online dating - team building - friend groups - family gatherings Key Concepts psychology social dynamics defense mechanisms Questions to Reflect On - How do you recognize when a game replaces genuine connection? - What risks are you avoiding by staying in the game? A Different Perspective Games can become addictive, preventing deeper relationships. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Candidness Privacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/candidness-privacy-2035657/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Cybersecurity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/cybersecurity/) [Dangers Intimacy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dangers-intimacy-2035659/) [Exposing Dangers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/exposing-dangers-2035658/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) [Social Intercourse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-intercourse-680386/) [Social Significance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-significance-314616/) ## Related quotes > [There are few subjects that match the social significance of women's education in the contemporary world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amartya-sen/there-are-few-subjects-that-match-the-social-significance-of-women-s/) [Amartya Sen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amartya-sen/) > [Among the few I have indicated, is there no dynamic man of action, the rebel who will help determine the aspect of the collective…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/piet-zwart/among-the-few-i-have-indicated-is-there-no-dynamic-man-of-action-the/) [Piet Zwart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/piet-zwart/) > [It seems so utterly naive that landscape - not that of the pictorial school - is not considered of "social significance" when it has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edward-weston/it-seems-so-utterly-naive-that-landscape-not-that-of-the-pictorial/) [Edward Weston](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edward-weston/) > [Therein lies the social significance of art: It is constantly at work educating the spirit of the age, conjuring up the forms in which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-jung/therein-lies-the-social-significance-of-art-it-is-constantly-at-work/) [Carl Jung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-jung/) > [Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living forms and social intercourse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-bacon/fashion-is-only-the-attempt-to-realize-art-in-living-forms-and-social/) [Francis Bacon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-bacon/) > [Social intercourse, even friendship among most people, is a merely a business arrangement that lasts only so long as there is need.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeleine-de-souvre-marquise-de-sable/social-intercourse-even-friendship-among-most-people-is-a-merely-a/) [Madeleine de Souvre, marquise de Sable](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeleine-de-souvre-marquise-de-sable/) > [The acquisition of an accurate and easy conversation, of some skill in music, and in pure and healthful diversions, are of great benefit in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-p-bradley/the-acquisition-of-an-accurate-and-easy-conversation-of-some-skill-in/) [Joseph P. Bradley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-p-bradley/) > [You can tell if someone is about social intercourse or just about browbeating somebody with their opinion. It's no fun arguing with a closed-minded…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-schneider/you-can-tell-if-someone-is-about-social-intercourse-or-just-about/) [John Schneider](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-schneider/) > [Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rennie-ellis/beer-has-long-been-the-prime-lubricant-in-our-social-intercourse-and/) [Rennie Ellis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rennie-ellis/) > [What people don't realize is that intimacy has its conventions as well as ordinary social intercourse. There are three cardinal rules -- don't take…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-h-auden-3/what-people-don-t-realize-is-that-intimacy-has-its-conventions-as/) [W H Auden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-h-auden-3/) > [Social intercourse -- a very limited thing in a half civilized country, becomes in our centers of civilization a great power. . .](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-blackwell/social-intercourse-a-very-limited-thing-in-a-half-civilized-country/) [Emily Blackwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-blackwell/) > [Kindness is the velvet of social intercourse.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-leonard-gordon/kindness-is-the-velvet-of-social-intercourse/) [James Leonard Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-leonard-gordon/) > [From social intercourse are derived some of the highest enjoyments of life; where there is a free interchange of sentiments the mind acquires new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/from-social-intercourse-are-derived-some-of-the-highest-enjoyments-of/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [“All social intercourse between human beings is a response of personality to personality, grading upward from the most casual brush between man and man…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-w-tozer/all-social-intercourse-between-human-beings-is-a-response-of/) [A.W. Tozer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-w-tozer/) > [The routines of social intercourse in established settings allow us to deal with anticipated others without special attention or thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erving-goffman/the-routines-of-social-intercourse-in-established-settings-allow-us/) [Erving Goffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erving-goffman/) ## More by Eric Berne > [A healthy person goes 'Yes,' 'No,' and 'Whoopee!' An unhealthy person goes 'Yes, but,' 'No, but,' and 'No whoopee.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/a-healthy-person-goes-yes-no-and-whoopee-an-unhealthy-person-goes-yes/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [A winner fulfills his contract with the world and with himself. That is, he sets out to do something, says that he is committed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/a-winner-fulfills-his-contract-with-the-world-and-with-himself-that/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Games are a compromise between intimacy and keeping intimacy away.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/games-are-a-compromise-between-intimacy-and-keeping-intimacy-away/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Every man must, in a measure, be alone in the world. No heart was ever cast in the same mould as that which we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/every-man-must-in-a-measure-be-alone-in-the-world-no-heart-was-ever/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Each person decides in early childhood how he will live and how he will die... His trivial behavior may be decided by reason, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/each-person-decides-in-early-childhood-how-he-will-live-and-how-he/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [The destiny of every human being is decided by what goes on inside his skull when confronted by what goes on outside his skull.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/the-destiny-of-every-human-being-is-decided-by-what-goes-on-inside/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [“Beautiful friendships” are often based on the fact that the players complement each other with great economy and satisfaction, so that there is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/beautiful-friendships-are-often-based-on-the-fact-that-the-players/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [A loser doesn't know what he'll do if he loses, but talks about what he'll do if he wins, and a winner doesn't talk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/a-loser-doesn-t-know-what-he-ll-do-if-he-loses-but-talks-about-what/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Whatever you do, think of next morning's headlines.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/whatever-you-do-think-of-next-morning-s-headlines/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [“The essential and similar feature of both procedures and rituals is that they are stereotyped. Once the first transaction has been initiated, the whole…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/the-essential-and-similar-feature-of-both-procedures-and-rituals-is/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Each person designs his own life, freedom gives him the power to carry out his own designs, and power gives the freedom to interfere…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/each-person-designs-his-own-life-freedom-gives-him-the-power-to-carry/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [The eternal problem of the human being is how to structure his waking hours](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/the-eternal-problem-of-the-human-being-is-how-to-structure-his-waking/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [No man is a hero to his wife's psychiatrist.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/no-man-is-a-hero-to-his-wife-s-psychiatrist/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Some say that one-sided love is better than none, but like half a loaf of bread, it is likely to grow hard and moldy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/some-say-that-one-sided-love-is-better-than-none-but-like-half-a-loaf/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) > [Love is nature's psychotherapy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/love-is-nature-s-psychotherapy/) [Eric Berne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) [Explore all 26 Eric Berne quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/) ## More Children quotes > [I am certain that children always know more than they are able to tell, and that makes the big difference between them and adults,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jacques-lusseyran/i-am-certain-that-children-always-know-more-than-they-are-able-to/) [Jacques Lusseyran](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jacques-lusseyran/) > [Behind every successful child is an adult who believed in him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/behind-every-successful-child-is-an-adult-who-believed-in-him/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [I believe in freedom to do what you want if you aren't hurting others, but pictures of obese protesters giving their children big gulps.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-defranco/i-believe-in-freedom-to-do-what-you-want-if-you-aren-t-hurting-others/) [Philip DeFranco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-defranco/) > [If the audience likes your work, if they like you, they don't think whether you are married or have children or not. I made…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dimple-kapadia/if-the-audience-likes-your-work-if-they-like-you-they-don-t-think/) [Dimple Kapadia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dimple-kapadia/) > [It doesnt seem to me strange that children should like the macabre, the sensational, and the forbidden.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-hecht/it-doesnt-seem-to-me-strange-that-children-should-like-the-macabre/) [Anthony Hecht](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-hecht/) > [Let children support their parents or be imprisoned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-children-support-their-parents-or-be-imprisoned/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Gratitude isn't just a feeling, it's an action. Expressing gratitude by writing in a journal, taking a photo, or shooting a video creates a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janice-kaplan/gratitude-isn-t-just-a-feeling-it-s-an-action-expressing-gratitude-by/) [Janice Kaplan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janice-kaplan/) > [My embarrassing confession is that my father is a 'Camelot: The Musical' obsessive. So as a child, when we were going to visit relatives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-chibnall/my-embarrassing-confession-is-that-my-father-is-a-camelot-the-musical/) [Chris Chibnall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-chibnall/) > [I have many who keep me going, I am very fortunate in this sense. There is nothing like a child who knows more about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/floyd-cooper/i-have-many-who-keep-me-going-i-am-very-fortunate-in-this-sense-there/) [Floyd Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/floyd-cooper/) > [My school was one of the most beautiful places a child can grow up in. You are surrounded by nature - cats, dogs, birds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amala-akkineni/my-school-was-one-of-the-most-beautiful-places-a-child-can-grow-up-in/) [Amala Akkineni](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amala-akkineni/) > [A lesser complaint: hair extensions. There are moments on 'All My Children' when half the women actors, young and old, seem to be afflicted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/camille-paglia/a-lesser-complaint-hair-extensions-there-are-moments-on-all-my/) [Camille Paglia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/camille-paglia/) > [As a child, I had a lot of older gay men taking care of me. There's a trust there. I feel like little girls…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-cho/as-a-child-i-had-a-lot-of-older-gay-men-taking-care-of-me-there-s-a/) [Margaret Cho](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-cho/) > [If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/salman-rushdie/if-my-child-had-prejudice-in-his-head-i-d-be-ashamed-i-would-see-it/) [Salman Rushdie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/salman-rushdie/) > [“Children's lives are always beginning and adults' lives are always ending. Or is it the opposite? Your childhood is always ending and your adult…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alison-espach/children-s-lives-are-always-beginning-and-adults-lives-are-always/) [Alison Espach](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alison-espach/) > [As a child I was very involved with sports and I knew at age 9 that I wanted to be an Olympic champion.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-jones/as-a-child-i-was-very-involved-with-sports-and-i-knew-at-age-9-that-i/) [Marion Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-jones/) [Browse all 62,396 Children quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good sense knows that it can always be abused; and the Child fears it because of the unmasking which it involves. Hence in order to get away from the ennui of pastimes without exposing themselves to the dangers of intimacy, most people compromise for games when they are available, and these fill the major part of the more interesting hours of social intercourse. That is the social significance of games.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Eric Berne" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in-privacy-good-sense-knows/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Children" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in-privacy-good-sense-knows/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f81/eric-berne-23256_children_society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in_1801617.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Society frowns upon candidness, except in privacy; good sense knows that it can always be abused; and the…” — Eric Berne", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Eric Berne", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-berne/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“Society frowns upon candidness, except in...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in-privacy-good-sense-knows/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-berne/society-frowns-upon-candidness-except-in-privacy-good-sense-knows/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```