--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's not what happens to you, but how you…" description: "\"“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/323/epictetus-413_attitude_it-s-not-what-happens-to-you-but-how-you_3166399.jpg" --- # It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that… ![“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them” quote by Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/323/epictetus-413_attitude_it-s-not-what-happens-to-you-but-how-you_3166399.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/323/epictetus-413_attitude_it-s-not-what-happens-to-you-but-how-you_3166399.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/323/epictetus-413_attitude_it-s-not-what-happens-to-you-but-how-you_3166399.jpg) > ““It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them”” [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Our power lies in our reactions, not in external events; we control our responses. **In simple terms:** We control how we react, not what happens. Key Takeaway Focus on your response, not the event. Themes stoicism personal responsibility resilience Mood reflective empowering Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - personal setbacks - workplace conflict - health challenges - political turmoil Key Concepts cognitive control emotional regulation Questions to Reflect On - How can you train yourself to respond differently? - What habits help maintain calm under pressure? A Different Perspective External events may overwhelm; internal control is limited. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Attitude](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attitude/) [Choose Respond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/choose-respond-461944/) [Circumstances](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/circumstances/) [Circumstances Choose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/circumstances-choose-628909/) [Composure](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/composure/) [Emotional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emotional/) [External Circumstances](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/external-circumstances-1052518/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Matters Choose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/matters-choose-954185/) [Mental](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/mental/) [Reaction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reaction/) [Respond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/respond/) [Response](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/response/) [Situation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/situation/) ## Related quotes > [We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/we-cannot-choose-our-external-circumstances-but-we-can-always-choose/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [In speaking the truth of your experience to another, it will serve you well to realize that how they choose to respond is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/iyanla-vanzant/in-speaking-the-truth-of-your-experience-to-another-it-will-serve-you/) [Iyanla Vanzant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/iyanla-vanzant/) > [“You can lament and carry on all you want to, but bad stuff happens to good people and there's not much any of us…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robin-mcgraw/you-can-lament-and-carry-on-all-you-want-to-but-bad-stuff-happens-to/) [Robin McGraw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robin-mcgraw/) > [The one thing you can't take away from me is the way I choose to respond to what you do to me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/viktor-e-frankl/the-one-thing-you-can-t-take-away-from-me-is-the-way-i-choose-to/) [Viktor E. Frankl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/viktor-e-frankl/) > [You may not have chosen what is happening to your body, but you can choose how you respond.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-l-jampolsky/you-may-not-have-chosen-what-is-happening-to-your-body-but-you-can/) [Lee L Jampolsky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-l-jampolsky/) > [We've all got both light and dark inside of us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/we-ve-all-got-both-light-and-dark-inside-of-us-what-matters-is-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“the important thing is not what you may think is precisely right or wrong. What matters is that you choose to have an opinion…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jostein-gaarder/the-important-thing-is-not-what-you-may-think-is-precisely-right-or/) [Jostein Gaarder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jostein-gaarder/) > [If You Look for Good, You'll find Good. If You are looking for Bad, You'll find Bad. In Life, You always find What You…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pacifiersucker/if-you-look-for-good-you-ll-find-good-if-you-are-looking-for-bad-you/) [Pacifiersucker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pacifiersucker/) > [“We are where we are, however we got here. What matters is where we go next.' 'But can we choose that?' 'I don't know.'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-marion/we-are-where-we-are-however-we-got-here-what-matters-is-where-we-go-2/) [Isaac Marion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-marion/) > [If you look for good you will find good. If you look for Bad you will find Bad. Only thing that matters is what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/himanshunf/if-you-look-for-good-you-will-find-good-if-you-look-for-bad-you-will/) [Himanshunf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/himanshunf/) > [Every one has a light and dark part in themselves, what matters is the part you choose to act on and thats who you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/every-one-has-a-light-and-dark-part-in-themselves-what-matters-is-the/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“It's easy to waste too many words—and too much energy—on nonsense we don't even care about. What a relief it is to start giving…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-stabile/it-s-easy-to-waste-too-many-words-and-too-much-energy-on-nonsense-we/) [Scott Stabile](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-stabile/) > [You've gotta let go of that stuff from the past, cause it just doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is what you choose…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/po/you-ve-gotta-let-go-of-that-stuff-from-the-past-cause-it-just-doesn-t/) [Po](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/po/) > [But we don’t remember those lives. We can’t read our diaries.’ ‘It doesn’t matter. We are where we are, however we got here. What…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaac-marion/but-we-don-t-remember-those-lives-we-can-t-read-our-diaries-it-doesn/) [Isaac Marion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaac-marion/) > [It doen't matter what you've been through, where you come from... none of that matters. What matters is how you choose to love, how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oprah-winfrey/it-doen-t-matter-what-you-ve-been-through-where-you-come-from-none-of/) [Oprah Winfrey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oprah-winfrey/) ## More by Epictetus > [“We are at the mercy of whoever wields authority over the things we either desire or detest. If you would be free, then, do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/we-are-at-the-mercy-of-whoever-wields-authority-over-the-things-we/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [Practice yourself, for heaven's sake in little things, and then proceed to greater.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/practice-yourself-for-heaven-s-sake-in-little-things-and-then-proceed/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/do-not-laugh-much-or-often-or-unrestrainedly/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [When men are unhappy, they do not imagine they can ever cease to be so; and when some calamity has fallen on them, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/when-men-are-unhappy-they-do-not-imagine-they-can-ever-cease-to-be-so/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [We are not disturbed by what happens to us, but by our thoughts about what happens to us.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/we-are-not-disturbed-by-what-happens-to-us-but-by-our-thoughts-about/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [Don't be prideful with any excellence that is not your own](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/don-t-be-prideful-with-any-excellence-that-is-not-your-own/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [You know yourself what you are worth in your own eyes; and at what price you will sell yourself. For men sell themselves at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/you-know-yourself-what-you-are-worth-in-your-own-eyes-and-at-what/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [Crows pick out the eyes of the dead, when the dead have no longer need of them; but flatterers mar the soul of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/crows-pick-out-the-eyes-of-the-dead-when-the-dead-have-no-longer-need/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [As a man, casting off worn out garments taketh new ones, so the dweller in the body, entereth into ones that are new.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/as-a-man-casting-off-worn-out-garments-taketh-new-ones-so-the-dweller/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [If you would improve, submit to be considered wihout sense and foolish with respect to externals. Wish to be considered to know nothing; and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/if-you-would-improve-submit-to-be-considered-wihout-sense-and-foolish/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [“For it is not death or pain that is to be feared, but the fear of pain or death.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/for-it-is-not-death-or-pain-that-is-to-be-feared-but-the-fear-of-pain/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [What else can I do, a lame old man, but sing hymns to God? If I were a nightingale, I would do the nightingale's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/what-else-can-i-do-a-lame-old-man-but-sing-hymns-to-god-if-i-were-a/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [People are disturbed not by things, but by the view they take of them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/people-are-disturbed-not-by-things-but-by-the-view-they-take-of-them-2/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [“Small-minded people blame others. Average people blame themselves. The wise see all blame as foolishness”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/small-minded-people-blame-others-average-people-blame-themselves-the/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) > [All philosophy lies in two words, sustain and abstain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/epictetus/all-philosophy-lies-in-two-words-sustain-and-abstain/) [Epictetus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) [Explore all 577 Epictetus quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/epictetus/) ## More Attitude quotes > [“WE CAN'T ALWAYS CONTROL OUR CIRCUMSTANCES BUT WE CAN CONTROL OUR ATTITUDE. WE MUST BE MORE CONCERNED WITH WHAT WE DO WITH WHAT HAPPENS…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marvin-j-ashton/we-can-t-always-control-our-circumstances-but-we-can-control-our/) [MARVIN J. ASHTON](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marvin-j-ashton/) > [It's not the method, it's the mindset.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-gilbert/it-s-not-the-method-it-s-the-mindset/) [Andy Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-gilbert/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Changes before your eyes, things you can do and things you can't. My attitude is always let it keep rolling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terrence-malick/changes-before-your-eyes-things-you-can-do-and-things-you-can-t-my/) [Terrence Malick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terrence-malick/) > [Vow to be valiant. Resolve to be radiant. Determine to be dynamic. Strive to be sincere. Aspire to be attuned.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-arthur-ward/vow-to-be-valiant-resolve-to-be-radiant-determine-to-be-dynamic/) [William Arthur Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-arthur-ward/) > [Don't judge me because I'm stupid. Don't judge me because I'm, mean. Don't judge me because I'm weird. Don't judge me for mistakes. Because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/isaiah-harden-me/don-t-judge-me-because-i-m-stupid-don-t-judge-me-because-i-m-mean-don/) [Isaiah Harden (Me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/isaiah-harden-me/) > [Your feelings (mood) dictate your thought, your thought determines your attitude (reactions) and your attitude describes your lifestyle, so: be careful how you feel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheye-hassan/your-feelings-mood-dictate-your-thought-your-thought-determines-your/) [Sheye Hassan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheye-hassan/) > [Success will come when the societal attitude changes and not a single woman in America asks herself the question 'What did I do?'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-biden/success-will-come-when-the-societal-attitude-changes-and-not-a-single/) [Joe Biden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-biden/) > [“Good Seeds! Gratitude is the Greatest Attitude that has no Substitute.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bernard-kelvin-clive/good-seeds-gratitude-is-the-greatest-attitude-that-has-no-substitute/) [Bernard Kelvin Clive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bernard-kelvin-clive/) > [Jeff Chu's pilgrimage across America to discover his own place as a gay man in the Christian church as well as attitudes about being…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-freitas/jeff-chu-s-pilgrimage-across-america-to-discover-his-own-place-as-a/) [Donna Freitas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-freitas/) > [One genuine reason to feel jealous of my parents:-) I will never ever have a kid as awesome as their's...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/one-genuine-reason-to-feel-jealous-of-my-parents-i-will-never-ever/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I'm optimistic Hong Kong will achieve universal suffrage - no matter the attitude of Beijing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joshua-wong/i-m-optimistic-hong-kong-will-achieve-universal-suffrage-no-matter/) [Joshua Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joshua-wong/) > [My attitude it that you don't give in.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phil-taylor/my-attitude-it-that-you-don-t-give-in/) [Phil Taylor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phil-taylor/) > [Transparency pertains to impartial behavior, implies openness, communication, and accountability. Inculcate transparency in attitude and experience a life free of controversy and blame](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dr-anil-kr-sinha/transparency-pertains-to-impartial-behavior-implies-openness/) [Dr Anil Kr Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dr-anil-kr-sinha/) > [And if the mind thinks with a believing attitude one can do amazing things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/norman-vincent-peale/and-if-the-mind-thinks-with-a-believing-attitude-one-can-do-amazing/) [Norman Vincent Peale](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/norman-vincent-peale/) [Browse all 9,543 Attitude quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attitude/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It's not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. 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