---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I had never understood what people meant…"
description: "\"I had never understood what people meant when they said they'd rather be alone if they couldn't be in the right relationship. Now I got it.\" — Emily Gi..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png"
---

#  I had never understood what people meant when they said…

![“I had never understood what people meant when they said they'd rather be alone if they couldn't be in the right relationship. Now I got it.” quote by Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png)

> “I had never understood what people meant when they said they'd rather be alone if they couldn't be in the right relationship. Now I got it.”

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Understanding the desire for solitude when relationships fail reveals a need for self‑sufficiency and emotional independence.

**In simple terms:** People may prefer being alone over unhealthy relationships.

Key Takeaway

Cultivate self‑reliance before seeking partnership.

Themes

relationships solitude self‑growth

Mood

reflective hopeful

Type

personal psychological

When to use this quote

- therapy sessions
- solo travel
- personal hobbies

Key Concepts

emotional independence personal boundaries

Questions to Reflect On

- What does being alone teach you?
- How can you balance independence with connection?

A Different Perspective

Loneliness can be harmful if unaddressed.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Rather Be Alone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rather-be-alone/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/)

## Related quotes

> [We have had a good working relationship. He has got a tough job. We had different ideas sometimes and we got on pretty well.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wright/we-have-had-a-good-working-relationship-he-has-got-a-tough-job-we-had/)

[John Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wright/)

> [“compound, I'm going to take you to my room and you're not gonna want to leave. You'll have to leave, because, darling, this ain’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/justine-elvira/compound-i-m-going-to-take-you-to-my-room-and-you-re-not-gonna-want/)

[Justine Elvira](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/justine-elvira/)

> [In a relationship you got to have trust if you don't have that then you don't have anything j/s](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tonycvbchicago/in-a-relationship-you-got-to-have-trust-if-you-don-t-have-that-then/)

[Tonycvbchicago](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tonycvbchicago/)

> [“The way I saw it, one of the single greatest advantages of being in a relationship was that you got to eat off the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-peeler/the-way-i-saw-it-one-of-the-single-greatest-advantages-of-being-in-a/)

[Nicole Peeler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-peeler/)

> [“a man was only going to be the best version of himself for the woman he wanted. No man treated every woman the same,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jai-bree-nae/a-man-was-only-going-to-be-the-best-version-of-himself-for-the-woman/)

Jai Bree'nae

> [My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-sedaris/my-father-and-i-have-a-very-good-relationship-we-always-got-along-but/)

[Amy Sedaris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-sedaris/)

> [In retrospect, I went to Jane Fonda for literally everything. During Mermaids, we were staying in the same building, so she was right upstairs…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winona-ryder/in-retrospect-i-went-to-jane-fonda-for-literally-everything-during/)

[Winona Ryder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winona-ryder/)

> [In a relationship, whether you got money to deal with it or no money to deal with it, the best relationships are going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/young-dolph/in-a-relationship-whether-you-got-money-to-deal-with-it-or-no-money/)

[Young Dolph](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/young-dolph/)

> [There was a period of time at Saturday Night Live when I wasn't in a relationship, so I got a taste of what \[the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/will-ferrell/there-was-a-period-of-time-at-saturday-night-live-when-i-wasn-t-in-a/)

[Will Ferrell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/will-ferrell/)

> [I must admit, our entire relationship I got all the words mixed up. So I'll correct myself, I hate you. Your ugly. You make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tonjia-lindeman/i-must-admit-our-entire-relationship-i-got-all-the-words-mixed-up-so/)

Tonjia Lindeman

> [There's only so far you can take a relationship before you got to get into things that are too serious or over the top.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shia-labeouf/there-s-only-so-far-you-can-take-a-relationship-before-you-got-to-get/)

[Shia LaBeouf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shia-labeouf/)

> [Its important to understand that love is not just about finding the right person, its about working with them to create the right relationship.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/its-important-to-understand-that-love-is-not-just-about-finding-the/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“You’re right, nobody’s perfect. But in the right relationship, you’re going to be perfect for each other. Because you tick each other’s boxes in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michele-gorman/you-re-right-nobody-s-perfect-but-in-the-right-relationship-you-re/)

[Michele Gorman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michele-gorman/)

> [“The right relationship is one where things get better when you communicate. If your relationship gets worse when one of you speaks the truth,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-hussey/the-right-relationship-is-one-where-things-get-better-when-you/)

[Matthew Hussey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-hussey/)

> [“So, I'm just going to tell you how it is for me,' Boyd continued frankly. His gaze was intense and sincere as he didn't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ais/so-i-m-just-going-to-tell-you-how-it-is-for-me-boyd-continued-frankly/)

[Ais](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ais/)

## More by Emily Giffin

> [I try to have something in common with my protagonists, especially when I'm writing in the first person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-try-to-have-something-in-common-with-my-protagonists-especially/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [I think exercise is critical to my writing and an essential way to recharge.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-think-exercise-is-critical-to-my-writing-and-an-essential-way-to/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [“Grab his penis like this, and I guarantee, it’s a done deal.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/grab-his-penis-like-this-and-i-guarantee-it-s-a-done-deal/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [“Well, anyway… it’s over,” I say, realizing that those two words lump me right in with a hoard of naive women who say it’s…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/well-anyway-it-s-over-i-say-realizing-that-those-two-words-lump-me/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [There are two kinds of sorry. There is the sorry imbued with regret. And a pure sorry. The kind that is merely asking for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/there-are-two-kinds-of-sorry-there-is-the-sorry-imbued-with-regret/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [Throw in the intensity of emotions that come with that bittersweet summer sandwiched between high school graduation and the rest of your life...](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/throw-in-the-intensity-of-emotions-that-come-with-that-bittersweet/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [“You can never be too sure when it comes to things that matter most”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/you-can-never-be-too-sure-when-it-comes-to-things-that-matter-most/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [“It occurs to me that she is not unique--that all women compare lives. We are aware of whose husband works more, who helps more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/it-occurs-to-me-that-she-is-not-unique-that-all-women-compare-lives/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [“I desperately want to feel that way again. To be in a relationship that I’m not trying to script or water down. It’s about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-desperately-want-to-feel-that-way-again-to-be-in-a-relationship/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [I always find something in common with my protagonist, particularly when I write in the first person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-always-find-something-in-common-with-my-protagonist-particularly/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [There is no grief like heartbreak.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/there-is-no-grief-like-heartbreak/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [I find my voice and manage to say those three one-syllable words back to him. Words I haven't uttered in a very, very long…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-find-my-voice-and-manage-to-say-those-three-one-syllable-words-back/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [i wish i could freeze this moment, somehow delay my final decision, and just hang here in the balance between two places, two worlds,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-wish-i-could-freeze-this-moment-somehow-delay-my-final-decision-and/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [I try to write about real women, real people - in other words flawed characters.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-try-to-write-about-real-women-real-people-in-other-words-flawed/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

> [“never had a good gut feeling. It wasn’t so much that I didn’t have faith in my team, but that I maintained the truest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/never-had-a-good-gut-feeling-it-wasn-t-so-much-that-i-didn-t-have/)

[Emily Giffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

[Explore all 324 Emily Giffin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/)

## More People quotes

> [If I am going to be phased out by whatever powers, then I want people to know that it is not because I am…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/parvathy/if-i-am-going-to-be-phased-out-by-whatever-powers-then-i-want-people/)

[Parvathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/parvathy/)

> [Some people still believe you should just fall in line with what's going on - and that's scary. It makes a mockery of freedom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-robison/some-people-still-believe-you-should-just-fall-in-line-with-what-s/)

[Emily Robison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-robison/)

> [The truth seems to be that propaganda on its own cannot force its way into unwilling minds; neither can it inculcate something wholly new;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-hoffer/the-truth-seems-to-be-that-propaganda-on-its-own-cannot-force-its-way/)

[Eric Hoffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-hoffer/)

> [From Augustine down, theologians have tried to compel people to accept their special interpretation of the Scripture, and the tortures of the inquisition, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matilda-joslyn-gage/from-augustine-down-theologians-have-tried-to-compel-people-to-accept/)

[Matilda Joslyn Gage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matilda-joslyn-gage/)

> [I wanted to write about voodoo tradition that I feel has been very important to survival of black people here: people of the African…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesmyn-ward/i-wanted-to-write-about-voodoo-tradition-that-i-feel-has-been-very/)

[Jesmyn Ward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesmyn-ward/)

> [I feel like I definitely have a real sporty style, more so than a lot of people in G.O.O.D. Music.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/big-sean/i-feel-like-i-definitely-have-a-real-sporty-style-more-so-than-a-lot/)

[Big Sean](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/big-sean/)

> [I feel like the future is unwritten. So many of the things that we write now haven't been about educating people on the environment,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-flansburgh/i-feel-like-the-future-is-unwritten-so-many-of-the-things-that-we/)

[John Flansburgh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-flansburgh/)

> [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/)

[Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/)

> [Crony capitalism is essentially a condition in which... public officials are giving favours to people in the private sector in payment of political favours.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-greenspan/crony-capitalism-is-essentially-a-condition-in-which-public-officials/)

[Alan Greenspan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-greenspan/)

> [I think, here's what I've realized from interviewing people, and I've been very open about my Catholicism and my love of Christ and I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-mohr/i-think-here-s-what-i-ve-realized-from-interviewing-people-and-i-ve/)

[Jay Mohr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-mohr/)

> [For us who are now in power, we need to be challenged to serve the people and ignore our own egos and personal interests…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wangari-maathai/for-us-who-are-now-in-power-we-need-to-be-challenged-to-serve-the/)

[Wangari Maathai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wangari-maathai/)

> [When I was trying to come up with a stage name, I thought 'Lord' was super rad, but really masculine - ever since I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lorde/when-i-was-trying-to-come-up-with-a-stage-name-i-thought-lord-was/)

[Lorde](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lorde/)

> [By eating many fruits and vegetables in place of fast food and junk food, people could avoid obesity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-h-murdock/by-eating-many-fruits-and-vegetables-in-place-of-fast-food-and-junk/)

[David H. Murdock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-h-murdock/)

> [Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dane-cook/some-people-give-you-that-motivation-to-work-harder-simply-to-get-the/)

[Dane Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dane-cook/)

> [Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-morrison/pain-is-meant-to-wake-us-up-people-try-to-hide-their-pain-but-they-re/)

[Jim Morrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-morrison/)

[Browse all 211,607 People quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "I had never understood what people meant when they said they'd rather be alone if they couldn't be in the right relationship. Now I got it.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Emily Giffin"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant-when-they-said-they-d-rather/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "People"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant-when-they-said-they-d-rather/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c1/emily-giffin-938_people_i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant_2929951.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“I had never understood what people meant when they said they'd rather be alone if they couldn't be in the…” — Emily Giffin",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Emily Giffin",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-giffin/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "I had never understood what people...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant-when-they-said-they-d-rather/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-giffin/i-had-never-understood-what-people-meant-when-they-said-they-d-rather/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
