--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Civility, it is said, means obeying the…" description: "\"Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable.\" — Ellen Goodman" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png" --- # Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable. ![“Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable.” quote by Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png) > “Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable.” [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Civility involves respecting others even when rules are vague or unenforced. **In simple terms:** Politeness despite unclear rules. Key Takeaway Practice respect regardless of enforcement. Themes respect social norms ethics Mood thoughtful serious Type ethical philosophical When to use this quote - online discussions - public debates - workplace interactions Key Concepts civility moral philosophy Questions to Reflect On - When have you faced uncivil behavior? - How can you model civility? A Different Perspective Enforcing civility can be inconsistent. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Civility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/civility/) ## Related quotes > [Nice is a pallid virtue. Not like honesty or courage or perseverance. On the other hand, in a nation notably lacking in civility, there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/molly-ivins/nice-is-a-pallid-virtue-not-like-honesty-or-courage-or-perseverance/) [Molly Ivins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/molly-ivins/) > [The ultimate solution to the race problem lies in the willingness of men to obey the unenforceable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martin-luther-king-jr/the-ultimate-solution-to-the-race-problem-lies-in-the-willingness-of/) [Martin Luther King, Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martin-luther-king-jr/) > [Ethics is obedience to the unenforceable.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/baron-moulton-john-fletcher-moulton/ethics-is-obedience-to-the-unenforceable/) Baron Moulton John Fletcher Moulton > ['Playboy' operated with a patina of civility that granted the average man a presumption of pleasure that went one way - his. And that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wesley-morris/playboy-operated-with-a-patina-of-civility-that-granted-the-average/) [Wesley Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wesley-morris/) > [A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence, which costs us nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-tillotson/a-good-word-is-an-easy-obligation-but-not-to-speak-ill-requires-only/) [John Tillotson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-tillotson/) > [The insolent civility of a proud man is, if possible, more shocking than his rudeness could be; because he shows you, by his manner,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/the-insolent-civility-of-a-proud-man-is-if-possible-more-shocking/) [Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/) > [“Never in England were there so many gentlemen and so little gentleness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-j-sansom/never-in-england-were-there-so-many-gentlemen-and-so-little-gentleness/) [C.J. Sansom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-j-sansom/) > [“Elizabeth received them with all the forbearance of civility”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/elizabeth-received-them-with-all-the-forbearance-of-civility/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“When someone has wronged you, continue to treat them with civility. It’s the ultimate mark of a mensch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruna-martinuzzi/when-someone-has-wronged-you-continue-to-treat-them-with-civility-it/) [Bruna Martinuzzi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruna-martinuzzi/) > [They parted at last with mutual civility, and possibly a mutual desire of never meeting again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/they-parted-at-last-with-mutual-civility-and-possibly-a-mutual-desire/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [How much wit, good-nature, indulgences, how many good offices and civilities, are required among friends to accomplish in some years what a lovely face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/how-much-wit-good-nature-indulgences-how-many-good-offices-and/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [The Second World War had a precipitating effect in that it discredited the empires, as well as bankrupting them. Not only could you no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-judt/the-second-world-war-had-a-precipitating-effect-in-that-it/) [Tony Judt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-judt/) > [Martha Stewart contributes more to our civility than the Baptist Church.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-hickey/martha-stewart-contributes-more-to-our-civility-than-the-baptist/) [Dave Hickey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-hickey/) > [Most adults would not dream of belittling, humiliating, or bullying (verbally or physically) another adult. But many of the same adults think nothing of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-steinberg/most-adults-would-not-dream-of-belittling-humiliating-or-bullying/) [Laurence Steinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-steinberg/) > [There is nothing that we can properly call our own but our time, and yet everybody fools us out of it who has a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/there-is-nothing-that-we-can-properly-call-our-own-but-our-time-and/) [Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/) ## More by Ellen Goodman > [Age is an accumulation of life and loss. Adulthood is a series of lines crossed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/age-is-an-accumulation-of-life-and-loss-adulthood-is-a-series-of/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [Once upon a time we were just plain people. But that was before we began having relationships with mechanical systems. Get involved with a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/once-upon-a-time-we-were-just-plain-people-but-that-was-before-we/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [I think most of us become self-critical as soon as we become self-conscious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/i-think-most-of-us-become-self-critical-as-soon-as-we-become-self/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [I don't know exactly why the notion of homeownership has such a grasp on the American imagination. Perhaps as descendants of landless immigrants we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/i-don-t-know-exactly-why-the-notion-of-homeownership-has-such-a-grasp/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [The central paradox of motherhood is that while our children become the absolute center of our lives, they must also push us backout in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/the-central-paradox-of-motherhood-is-that-while-our-children-become/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [You can believe in women's rights without believing that every woman is right.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/you-can-believe-in-women-s-rights-without-believing-that-every-woman/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but looking for potential.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/maybe-this-year-we-ought-to-walk-through-the-rooms-of-our-lives-not/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [The same people who tell us that smoking doesn't cause cancer are now telling us that advertising cigarettes doesn't cause smoking.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/the-same-people-who-tell-us-that-smoking-doesn-t-cause-cancer-are-now/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [You can teach someone who cares to write columns, but you can’t teach someone who writes columns to care.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/you-can-teach-someone-who-cares-to-write-columns-but-you-can-t-teach/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [instant opinion is an oxymoron. You don't get real opinions in an instant. You get reactions.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/instant-opinion-is-an-oxymoron-you-don-t-get-real-opinions-in-an/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [I would like to say we're at a point where global warming is impossible to deny. Let's just say that global warming deniers are…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/i-would-like-to-say-we-re-at-a-point-where-global-warming-is/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [We owned what we learned back there; the experience and the growth are grafted into our lives.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/we-owned-what-we-learned-back-there-the-experience-and-the-growth-are/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [We each have a litany of holiday rituals and everyday habits that we hold on to, and we often greet radical innovation with the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/we-each-have-a-litany-of-holiday-rituals-and-everyday-habits-that-we/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [Those inevitable dreams where you can't get your column in, you know, and at first they were the Xerox telecopy, and then they were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/those-inevitable-dreams-where-you-can-t-get-your-column-in-you-know/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) > [Saving time, it seems, has a primacy that's too rarely examined.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/saving-time-it-seems-has-a-primacy-that-s-too-rarely-examined/) [Ellen Goodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) [Explore all 99 Ellen Goodman quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/) ## More Civility quotes > [There is nothing that we can properly call our own but our time, and yet everybody fools us out of it who has a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seneca-the-younger/there-is-nothing-that-we-can-properly-call-our-own-but-our-time-and/) [Seneca the Younger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seneca-the-younger/) > [Most adults would not dream of belittling, humiliating, or bullying (verbally or physically) another adult. But many of the same adults think nothing of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laurence-steinberg/most-adults-would-not-dream-of-belittling-humiliating-or-bullying/) [Laurence Steinberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laurence-steinberg/) > [Martha Stewart contributes more to our civility than the Baptist Church.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-hickey/martha-stewart-contributes-more-to-our-civility-than-the-baptist/) [Dave Hickey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-hickey/) > [The Second World War had a precipitating effect in that it discredited the empires, as well as bankrupting them. Not only could you no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-judt/the-second-world-war-had-a-precipitating-effect-in-that-it/) [Tony Judt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-judt/) > [How much wit, good-nature, indulgences, how many good offices and civilities, are required among friends to accomplish in some years what a lovely face…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/how-much-wit-good-nature-indulgences-how-many-good-offices-and/) [Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/) > [They parted at last with mutual civility, and possibly a mutual desire of never meeting again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/they-parted-at-last-with-mutual-civility-and-possibly-a-mutual-desire/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“When someone has wronged you, continue to treat them with civility. It’s the ultimate mark of a mensch.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruna-martinuzzi/when-someone-has-wronged-you-continue-to-treat-them-with-civility-it/) [Bruna Martinuzzi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruna-martinuzzi/) > [“Elizabeth received them with all the forbearance of civility”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jane-austen/elizabeth-received-them-with-all-the-forbearance-of-civility/) [Jane Austen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jane-austen/) > [“Never in England were there so many gentlemen and so little gentleness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-j-sansom/never-in-england-were-there-so-many-gentlemen-and-so-little-gentleness/) [C.J. Sansom](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-j-sansom/) > [The insolent civility of a proud man is, if possible, more shocking than his rudeness could be; because he shows you, by his manner,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lord-chesterfield/the-insolent-civility-of-a-proud-man-is-if-possible-more-shocking/) [Lord Chesterfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lord-chesterfield/) > [A good word is an easy obligation; but not to speak ill requires only our silence, which costs us nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-tillotson/a-good-word-is-an-easy-obligation-but-not-to-speak-ill-requires-only/) [John Tillotson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-tillotson/) > ['Playboy' operated with a patina of civility that granted the average man a presumption of pleasure that went one way - his. And that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wesley-morris/playboy-operated-with-a-patina-of-civility-that-granted-the-average/) [Wesley Morris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wesley-morris/) > [ \[T\]he politically correct are above the rules of ordinary civility, once they have identified you as an unbeliever in their religion. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orson-scott-card/t-he-politically-correct-are-above-the-rules-of-ordinary-civility/) [Orson Scott Card](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orson-scott-card/) > [Sanctions alone could not stop Iran's nuclear program. But they did help bring Iran to the negotiating table.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/sanctions-alone-could-not-stop-iran-s-nuclear-program-but-they-did/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [Even here in America, we felt the cool, refreshing breeze of freedom when Nelson Mandela took the seat of Presidency in his country where…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/even-here-in-america-we-felt-the-cool-refreshing-breeze-of-freedom/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) [Browse all 393 Civility quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/civility/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Ellen Goodman" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-unenforceable/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Civility" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-unenforceable/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/b88/ellen-goodman-6219_civility_civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-un_1001154.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“Civility, it is said, means obeying the unenforceable.” — Ellen Goodman", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Ellen Goodman", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-goodman/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "Civility, it is said, means obeying...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-unenforceable/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-goodman/civility-it-is-said-means-obeying-the-unenforceable/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```