--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In case you haven’t noticed, people get…" description: "\"“In case you haven’t noticed, people get hard-hearted against the people they hurt. Because we can’t stand it. Literally. To think we did that to someo..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png" --- # In case you haven’t noticed, people get hard-hearted… ![“In case you haven’t noticed, people get hard-hearted against the people they hurt. Because we can’t stand it. Literally. To think we did that to someone. I did that. So we think of all the reasons why it’s okay we did whatever we did.” quote by Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png) > ““In case you haven’t noticed, people get hard-hearted against the people they hurt. Because we can’t stand it. Literally. To think we did that to someone. I did that. So we think of all the reasons why it’s okay we did whatever we did.”” [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. People rationalize hurting others by convincing themselves it’s justified, avoiding guilt and self‑blame. **In simple terms:** We excuse hurting people to protect our feelings. Key Takeaway Recognize and own your impact on others. Themes guilt self‑justification empathy Mood reflective somber Type ethical psychological When to use this quote - personal relationships - conflict resolution - leadership - therapy Key Concepts psychology morality cognitive dissonance Questions to Reflect On - Why do you rationalize harmful actions? - How can you confront uncomfortable guilt? A Different Perspective Self‑justification can blind us to real harm. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Reason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reason/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) ## Related quotes > [Are soft-hearted people handicapped in business? You have heard a businessman say of someone else, He's all right, but he's too soft-hearted… To be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-c-forbes/are-soft-hearted-people-handicapped-in-business-you-have-heard-a/) [B. C. Forbes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-c-forbes/) > [When God breathes He breathes on hard-hearted people.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louie-giglio/when-god-breathes-he-breathes-on-hard-hearted-people/) [Louie Giglio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louie-giglio/) > [What makes people hard-hearted is this, that each man has, or fancies he has, as much as he can bear in his own troubles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/arthur-schopenhauer/what-makes-people-hard-hearted-is-this-that-each-man-has-or-fancies/) [Arthur Schopenhauer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/arthur-schopenhauer/) > [I am tough minded, but not hard hearted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ronnie-apteker/i-am-tough-minded-but-not-hard-hearted/) [Ronnie Apteker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ronnie-apteker/) > [Whenever I did anything wrong, stupid or hard-hearted, and I have done many things that were all three, my mother always said "it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ruskin/whenever-i-did-anything-wrong-stupid-or-hard-hearted-and-i-have-done/) [John Ruskin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ruskin/) > [O King, believe not this hard-hearted man!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/o-king-believe-not-this-hard-hearted-man/) [William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/) > [Happiness is often hard-hearted.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/happiness-is-often-hard-hearted/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [When I was younger I probably didn't understand something basic about tact, but I think it kept faint-hearted people at arm's distance and that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debra-winger/when-i-was-younger-i-probably-didn-t-understand-something-basic-about/) [Debra Winger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debra-winger/) > [Kind-hearted people might of course think there was some ingenious way to disarm or defeat an enemy without too much bloodshed, and might imagine…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carl-von-clausewitz/kind-hearted-people-might-of-course-think-there-was-some-ingenious/) [Carl von Clausewitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carl-von-clausewitz/) > [“I'd rather be a fool than hard-hearted.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruth-reichl/i-d-rather-be-a-fool-than-hard-hearted/) [Ruth Reichl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ruth-reichl/) > [“Hard-hearted shouldn't need senses.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/hard-hearted-shouldn-t-need-senses/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Was that hard-hearted? Well, so what if it was. She'd been through enough to harden anyone. It was none of her choosing; all she'd…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-donoghue/was-that-hard-hearted-well-so-what-if-it-was-she-d-been-through/) [Emma Donoghue](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-donoghue/) > [I love Twinkies, and the reason I am saying that is because we are all supposed to think of reasons to live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/i-love-twinkies-and-the-reason-i-am-saying-that-is-because-we-are-all/) [Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/) > [we are all supposed to think of reasons to live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-chbosky/we-are-all-supposed-to-think-of-reasons-to-live/) [Stephen Chbosky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-chbosky/) > [“When I really think About it, there are two reasons why people become teachers. To show off their success and to show of their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/y-sei-matsui/when-i-really-think-about-it-there-are-two-reasons-why-people-become/) [Yūsei Matsui](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/y-sei-matsui/) ## More by Elizabeth Strout > [By the time they were pulling into the parking lot of the A&P, the mood was fading, the moment gone. Amy could feel it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/by-the-time-they-were-pulling-into-the-parking-lot-of-the-a-p-the/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“what young people did not know. They did not know that lumpy, aged, and wrinkled bodies were as needy as their own young, firm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/what-young-people-did-not-know-they-did-not-know-that-lumpy-aged-and/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“I said on the phone to my mother, “I think I’m going to write the story of the Burgess kids.” “It’s a good one,”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/i-said-on-the-phone-to-my-mother-i-think-i-m-going-to-write-the-story/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“And she learned - freshly, scorchingly - of the privacy of sorrow. It was as though she had been escorted through a door into…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/and-she-learned-freshly-scorchingly-of-the-privacy-of-sorrow-it-was/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“He looked at the books, and she wanted to say, 'Stop that,' as though he were reading her diary.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/he-looked-at-the-books-and-she-wanted-to-say-stop-that-as-though-he/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“The year that followed - was it the happiest year of his own life? He often thought so, even knowing that such a thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/the-year-that-followed-was-it-the-happiest-year-of-his-own-life-he/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [I have to pay attention to what I have felt and observed, then push these responses to an extreme while keeping the story within…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/i-have-to-pay-attention-to-what-i-have-felt-and-observed-then-push/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“She could hear in the darkness of her car how his breathing was quicker now; and her own was, too. She wanted to say…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/she-could-hear-in-the-darkness-of-her-car-how-his-breathing-was/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“Abdikarim shook his head in his darkened room, sweat coming from his face down onto his neck. “No, he cuts my heart. You didn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/abdikarim-shook-his-head-in-his-darkened-room-sweat-coming-from-his/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“she’d have been throwing out clamshells, most likely.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/she-d-have-been-throwing-out-clamshells-most-likely/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [I like people a lot, but I am not comfortable in literary New York situations. There is deep anxiety and tension around success here.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/i-like-people-a-lot-but-i-am-not-comfortable-in-literary-new-york/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [The fact of the matter is I always have a really high sense of responsibility to the reader, whether it's a few readers that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/the-fact-of-the-matter-is-i-always-have-a-really-high-sense-of/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“Why do you need everyone married?" Christopher has said to him angrily, when Henry has asked about his son's life. "Why can't you just…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/why-do-you-need-everyone-married-christopher-has-said-to-him-angrily/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [“one of those things about getting older was knowing that so many moments weren’t just moments, they were gifts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/one-of-those-things-about-getting-older-was-knowing-that-so-many/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) > [I don't think of myself as a fast reader. I just read a lot. When someone else might think, 'I might do the dishes,'…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/i-don-t-think-of-myself-as-a-fast-reader-i-just-read-a-lot-when/) [Elizabeth Strout](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) [Explore all 205 Elizabeth Strout quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/) ## More Cases quotes > [The time that one gains cannot be accumulated in a storehouse; it is contradictory to want to save up existence, which, the fact is,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simone-de-beauvoir/the-time-that-one-gains-cannot-be-accumulated-in-a-storehouse-it-is/) [Simone de Beauvoir](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simone-de-beauvoir/) > [It can sometimes make people fold into themselves and kind of run away, but I think in this case these characters are being forced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-deschanel/it-can-sometimes-make-people-fold-into-themselves-and-kind-of-run/) [Emily Deschanel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-deschanel/) > [I'd always have grease in at least two places, in case the umpires would ask me to wipe one off. I never wanted to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gaylord-perry/i-d-always-have-grease-in-at-least-two-places-in-case-the-umpires/) [Gaylord Perry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gaylord-perry/) > [Islam never differentiates between men and women as regards political rights and puts them on an equal footing. However, even if a woman is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/yusuf-al-qaradawi/islam-never-differentiates-between-men-and-women-as-regards-political/) [Yusuf al-Qaradawi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/yusuf-al-qaradawi/) > [You gonna take the case?" It's not a case. It's a missing person. Sort of." You're gonna have a devil of a time finding…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/janet-evanovich/you-gonna-take-the-case-it-s-not-a-case-it-s-a-missing-person-sort-of/) [Janet Evanovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/janet-evanovich/) > [I think we've all had enough of Coltrane saxophonists. There's a case of someone ruining a generation of saxophonists, as Louis Armstrong may have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-bley/i-think-we-ve-all-had-enough-of-coltrane-saxophonists-there-s-a-case/) [Paul Bley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-bley/) > [Every wife ought to answer for her man. If the husband be engaged in a seditious club, or drinks mysterious healths, or be frugal…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-addison/every-wife-ought-to-answer-for-her-man-if-the-husband-be-engaged-in-a/) [Joseph Addison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-addison/) > [The world around us is an increasingly hostile and sinful place. Occasionally that splashes onto us, and perhaps, in the case of a few…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-r-holland/the-world-around-us-is-an-increasingly-hostile-and-sinful-place/) [Jeffrey R. Holland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-r-holland/) > [If you followed the media you'd think that everybody in Africa was starving to death, and that's not the case; so it's important to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie/if-you-followed-the-media-you-d-think-that-everybody-in-africa-was/) [Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chimamanda-ngozi-adichie/) > [ \[As in the case of\] alcohol prohibition, illegality has driven organized crime, sent countless people to jail, and killed many thousands. Repression does not… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sam-branson/as-in-the-case-of-alcohol-prohibition-illegality-has-driven-organized/) [Sam Branson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sam-branson/) > [He emphasised basic truths: you are not dying yet, you have to live your life until you are. Underpinning them was the belief that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/irvine-welsh/he-emphasised-basic-truths-you-are-not-dying-yet-you-have-to-live/) [Irvine Welsh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/irvine-welsh/) > [Athletes at all ages are bigger and stronger than ever before. And they are being encouraged - sometimes even incentivized, as we recently learned…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naveen-jain/athletes-at-all-ages-are-bigger-and-stronger-than-ever-before-and/) [Naveen Jain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naveen-jain/) > [Each Act of Parliament intended to address harassment and discrimination has faced objections on the basis of 'you'll never be able to prove...' and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-field/each-act-of-parliament-intended-to-address-harassment-and/) [Tim Field](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-field/) > [The Cheney team had, for example, technological supremacy over the National Security Council staff. That is to say, they could read their e-mails. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lawrence-wilkerson/the-cheney-team-had-for-example-technological-supremacy-over-the/) [Lawrence Wilkerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lawrence-wilkerson/) > [If you want good behavior, don't pay on a commission basis. Our judges aren't paid so much a case. We keep them pretty well…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charlie-munger/if-you-want-good-behavior-don-t-pay-on-a-commission-basis-our-judges/) [Charlie Munger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charlie-munger/) Browse all 6,420 Cases quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“In case you haven’t noticed, people get hard-hearted against the people they hurt. Because we can’t stand it. Literally. To think we did that to someone. I did that. So we think of all the reasons why it’s okay we did whatever we did.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Elizabeth Strout" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-hard-hearted-against-the/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Cases" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-hard-hearted-against-the/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/c9f/elizabeth-strout-1799_cases_in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-h_1121360.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In case you haven’t noticed, people get hard-hearted against the people they hurt. Because we can’t stand…” — Elizabeth Strout", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Elizabeth Strout", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-strout/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“In case you haven’t noticed, people...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-hard-hearted-against-the/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-strout/in-case-you-haven-t-noticed-people-get-hard-hearted-against-the/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```