--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It's rare that you have a conflict and…" description: "\"It's rare that you have a conflict and two people or two groups who are equally mature in their desire or capacity to get there. That doesn't mean it c..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa1/elizabeth-lesser-1683_bigger_it-s-rare-that-you-have-a-conflict-and-t_1478012.png" --- # It's rare that you have a conflict and two people or two… ![“It's rare that you have a conflict and two people or two groups who are equally mature in their desire or capacity to get there. That doesn't mean it can't happen. What it means is that one person has to take the lead, has to be bigger. I call that kind of person the new first responder.” quote by Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa1/elizabeth-lesser-1683_bigger_it-s-rare-that-you-have-a-conflict-and-t_1478012.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa1/elizabeth-lesser-1683_bigger_it-s-rare-that-you-have-a-conflict-and-t_1478012.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fa1/elizabeth-lesser-1683_bigger_it-s-rare-that-you-have-a-conflict-and-t_1478012.png) > “It's rare that you have a conflict and two people or two groups who are equally mature in their desire or capacity to get there. That doesn't mean it can't happen. What it means is that one person has to take the lead, has to be bigger. I call that kind of person the new first responder.” [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. When equally capable parties conflict, one must step up and lead, becoming the larger presence. **In simple terms:** One must lead when all are equally ready. Key Takeaway Be the larger, take charge. Themes leadership conflict responsibility Mood determined assertive Type motivational inspirational When to use this quote - team projects - community disputes - organizational change Key Concepts agency hierarchy decision making Questions to Reflect On - Who can you lead without dominating? - When is shared leadership better? A Different Perspective Leadership can create dependency and stifle shared ownership. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Conflict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conflict/) [Desire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/desire/) [First Responder](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-responder/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [War](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/war/) ## Related quotes > [“Generosity is more than asking the right question. It’s being present. It’s doing what’s right for the other person. When you lead with generosity,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-bolton/generosity-is-more-than-asking-the-right-question-it-s-being-present/) [Chuck Bolton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-bolton/) > [It takes a great deal of courage to follow another person's lead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hybels/it-takes-a-great-deal-of-courage-to-follow-another-person-s-lead/) [Bill Hybels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hybels/) > [You are the most difficult person you will ever lead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-hybels/you-are-the-most-difficult-person-you-will-ever-lead/) [Bill Hybels](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-hybels/) > [The first person you lead is you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-c-maxwell/the-first-person-you-lead-is-you/) [John C. Maxwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-c-maxwell/) > [There are some who want to get married and others who don't. I have never had an impulse to go to the altar. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/greta-garbo/there-are-some-who-want-to-get-married-and-others-who-don-t-i-have/) [Greta Garbo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/greta-garbo/) > [“Real work gets done in pairs (51:49). Find your companion. You will know him or her when you feel completely humble in that person's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bahauddin/real-work-gets-done-in-pairs-51-49-find-your-companion-you-will-know/) [Bahauddin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bahauddin/) > [If you want to be a leader, the first person you have to lead is yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-scioscia/if-you-want-to-be-a-leader-the-first-person-you-have-to-lead-is/) Mike Scioscia > [When you boil war down or all conflict down to two people, it's a great advert for humanity sometimes. People can find connections with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bradley-west/when-you-boil-war-down-or-all-conflict-down-to-two-people-it-s-a/) [John Bradley-West](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bradley-west/) > [Public interest in most of the Middle East was slight at that time; the Arab-Israeli conflict was all that people were interested in and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juan-cole/public-interest-in-most-of-the-middle-east-was-slight-at-that-time/) [Juan Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juan-cole/) > [The conflict is not between the people and the antiwar movement, but between the people and the government.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-dellinger/the-conflict-is-not-between-the-people-and-the-antiwar-movement-but/) [David Dellinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-dellinger/) > [“When we are in our daily life there is a great deal of friction, conflict between people, the work which we don't like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-we-are-in-our-daily-life-there-is-a-great-deal-of-friction/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I mean, honestly, we have to be clear that the life for many Afghan women is not that much different than it was a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hillary-clinton/i-mean-honestly-we-have-to-be-clear-that-the-life-for-many-afghan/) [Hillary Clinton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hillary-clinton/) > [Elephants seek food elsewhere if their route is blocked, and raiding crops and grain stores brings them into conflict with people, often resulting in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-shand/elephants-seek-food-elsewhere-if-their-route-is-blocked-and-raiding/) [Mark Shand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-shand/) > [American poetry has been part of a culture in conflict…We are a people tending toward democracy at the level of hope; at another level,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/muriel-rukeyser/american-poetry-has-been-part-of-a-culture-in-conflict-we-are-a/) [Muriel Rukeyser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/muriel-rukeyser/) > [Security is the absolute precondition for sustainable recovery from conflict; without it, people cannot rebuild their country or return to school or work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-n-haass/security-is-the-absolute-precondition-for-sustainable-recovery-from/) [Richard N. Haass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-n-haass/) ## More by Elizabeth Lesser > [“too—I realized that my only hope was to give up the life that had been, in order to make room for the life that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/too-i-realized-that-my-only-hope-was-to-give-up-the-life-that-had/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [“logotherapy,” which, in a nutshell, is about searching for the meaning packed in one’s baggage, something”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/logotherapy-which-in-a-nutshell-is-about-searching-for-the-meaning/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [“He was training people to become “sacred warriors”—not so that they could do battle with others but so that they could develop the kind…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/he-was-training-people-to-become-sacred-warriors-not-so-that-they/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [“Rumi tells us that moment we accept what troubles we’ve been given, the door will open.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/rumi-tells-us-that-moment-we-accept-what-troubles-we-ve-been-given/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [If I pull from places of faith, joy and gratitude, then I have the wind of creativity behind me. And, my work in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/if-i-pull-from-places-of-faith-joy-and-gratitude-then-i-have-the-wind/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [I think as women and men become more conscious, the terms "woman/man" begin to lose meaning.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/i-think-as-women-and-men-become-more-conscious-the-terms-woman-man/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [I actually don't think we're more divided than we were. I think it's more evident. It's more evident because of the internet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/i-actually-don-t-think-we-re-more-divided-than-we-were-i-think-it-s/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [We think that maybe feminism isn't appropriate anymore, since Western women have really made enormous strides. But check out the rest of the world…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/we-think-that-maybe-feminism-isn-t-appropriate-anymore-since-western/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [Life is like a school; one can learn, one can graduate, one can skip a grade or stay behind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/life-is-like-a-school-one-can-learn-one-can-graduate-one-can-skip-a/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [We must pay attention to the voice that calls us out of the safety zone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/we-must-pay-attention-to-the-voice-that-calls-us-out-of-the-safety/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [When we descend all the way down to the bottom of loss, and dwell patiently, with an open heart, in the darkness and pain,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/when-we-descend-all-the-way-down-to-the-bottom-of-loss-and-dwell/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [The great loneliness- like the loneliness a caterpillar endures when she wraps herself in a silky shroud and begins the long transformation from chrysalis…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/the-great-loneliness-like-the-loneliness-a-caterpillar-endures-when/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [“I accept now that the point of life is not to reach perfection but to befriend the fact that human beings are works in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/i-accept-now-that-the-point-of-life-is-not-to-reach-perfection-but-to/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [When women hear each other's stories, told from the heart, it gives us inspiration to keep on going.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/when-women-hear-each-other-s-stories-told-from-the-heart-it-gives-us/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) > [“Patience is a hard discipline. It is not just waiting until something happens over which we have no control: the arrival of the bus,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-lesser/patience-is-a-hard-discipline-it-is-not-just-waiting-until-something/) [Elizabeth Lesser](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) [Explore all 216 Elizabeth Lesser quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-lesser/) ## More Bigger quotes > [The bigger the canvas, the better I do. I'm not so good at understated, kitchen-sink kinds of parts.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-reeve/the-bigger-the-canvas-the-better-i-do-i-m-not-so-good-at-understated/) [Christopher Reeve](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-reeve/) > [I've seen guys come along with more ability - they've been faster or bigger or stronger - but they never worked hard to develop…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-largent/i-ve-seen-guys-come-along-with-more-ability-they-ve-been-faster-or/) [Steve Largent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-largent/) > [I have always been a big meta guy because I think the way journalism is practiced in Washington, and the way everyone sort of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-leibovich/i-have-always-been-a-big-meta-guy-because-i-think-the-way-journalism/) [Mark Leibovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-leibovich/) > [In China, people are moving from bigger cars to small hatches, and interestingly, the Indian market is graduating to bigger cars and sedans. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/winfried-vahland/in-china-people-are-moving-from-bigger-cars-to-small-hatches-and/) [Winfried Vahland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/winfried-vahland/) > [Can you imagine any better example of divine creative accomplishment that the consummate flying machine that is a bird? The skeleton, very flexible and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/guy-murchie/can-you-imagine-any-better-example-of-divine-creative-accomplishment/) [Guy Murchie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/guy-murchie/) > [I just think structure can make a book feel so much bigger. It's the architecture. You could use flimsy materials if you wanted to,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jami-attenberg/i-just-think-structure-can-make-a-book-feel-so-much-bigger-it-s-the/) [Jami Attenberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jami-attenberg/) > [I've always thought that the most extraordinary special effect you could do is to buy a child at the moment of its birth, sit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/clive-barker/i-ve-always-thought-that-the-most-extraordinary-special-effect-you/) [Clive Barker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/clive-barker/) > [Max—you have a bigger mission than finding the flock's parents. Focus on helping the whole world, not just your friends. I held my wings…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-patterson/max-you-have-a-bigger-mission-than-finding-the-flock-s-parents-focus/) [James Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-patterson/) > [Sometimes people can write really great scenes and even a great episode, but they can't see the bigger picture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-night-shyamalan/sometimes-people-can-write-really-great-scenes-and-even-a-great/) [M. Night Shyamalan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/m-night-shyamalan/) > [Never be too busy for the people you love. Never allow pursuits or possessions to become bigger priorities than your relationships. Love is what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-willis/never-be-too-busy-for-the-people-you-love-never-allow-pursuits-or/) [Dave Willis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-willis/) > [If you consider yourself a part of the culture, then finances can't allow you to be bigger than the actual art form.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/curtis-jackson/if-you-consider-yourself-a-part-of-the-culture-then-finances-can-t/) [Curtis Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/curtis-jackson/) > [If we get better our customers will demand we get bigger.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/s-truett-cathy/if-we-get-better-our-customers-will-demand-we-get-bigger/) [S. Truett Cathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/s-truett-cathy/) > [ Their \[the U.S.’s\] defense budget in absolute figures is almost 25 times bigger than Russia’s. This is what in defense is referred to as… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vladimir-putin/their-the-u-s-s-defense-budget-in-absolute-figures-is-almost-25-times/) [Vladimir Putin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vladimir-putin/) > [I think everyone has been annoyed at school or in their life, that's a type of bullying. So, you can take those feelings and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kodi-smit-mcphee/i-think-everyone-has-been-annoyed-at-school-or-in-their-life-that-s-a/) [Kodi Smit-McPhee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kodi-smit-mcphee/) > [Athletes at all ages are bigger and stronger than ever before. And they are being encouraged - sometimes even incentivized, as we recently learned…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naveen-jain/athletes-at-all-ages-are-bigger-and-stronger-than-ever-before-and/) [Naveen Jain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naveen-jain/) Browse all 3,614 Bigger quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "It's rare that you have a conflict and two people or two groups who are equally mature in their desire or capacity to get there. That doesn't mean it can't happen. What it means is that one person has to take the lead, has to be bigger. 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