--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When you are walking down the road in…" description: "\"“When you are walking down the road in Bali and your pass a stranger, the very first question he or she will ask you is, \"Where are you going?\" The sec..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/167/elizabeth-gilbert-131_friendship_when-you-are-walking-down-the-road-in-ba_2184997.jpg" --- # When you are walking down the road in Bali and your pass a… ![“When you are walking down the road in Bali and your pass a stranger, the very first question he or she will ask you is, "Where are you going?" The second question is, "Where are you coming from?" To a Westerner, this can seem like a rather invasive inquiry from a perfect stranger, but they're just…” quote by Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/167/elizabeth-gilbert-131_friendship_when-you-are-walking-down-the-road-in-ba_2184997.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/167/elizabeth-gilbert-131_friendship_when-you-are-walking-down-the-road-in-ba_2184997.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/167/elizabeth-gilbert-131_friendship_when-you-are-walking-down-the-road-in-ba_2184997.jpg) > ““When you are walking down the road in Bali and your pass a stranger, the very first question he or she will ask you is, "Where are you going?" The second question is, "Where are you coming from?" To a Westerner, this can seem like a rather invasive inquiry from a perfect stranger, but they're just trying to get an orientation on you, trying to insert you into the grid for the purposes of security and comfort. If you tell them that you don't know where you're going, or that you're just wandering about randomly, you might instigate a bit of distress in the heart of your new Balinese friend. It's far better to pick some kind of specific direction -- anywhere -- just so everybody feels better. The third question a Balinese will almost certainly ask you is, "Are you married?" Again, it's a positioning and orienting inquiry. It's necessary for them to know this, to make sure that you are completely in order in your life. They really want you to say yes. it's such a relief to them when you say yes. If you're single, it's better not to say so directly. And I really recommend that you not mention your divorce at all, if you happen to have had one. It just makes the Balinese so worried. The only thing your solitude proves to them is your perilous dislocation from the grid. If you are a single woman traveling through Bali and somebody asks you, "Are you married?" the best possible answer is: "Not yet." This is a polite way of saying, "No," while indicating your optimistic intentions to get that taken care of just as soon as you can. Even if you are eighty years old, or a lesbian, or a strident feminist, or a nun, or an eighty-year-old strident feminist lesbian nun who has never been married and never intends to get married, the politest possible answer is still: "Not yet.”” [Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Balinese social customs involve asking about destination, origin, and marital status to orient and comfort strangers; polite answers maintain social harmony. **In simple terms:** Balinese ask three questions to fit you into their social grid. Key Takeaway Answer politely, respecting local norms. Themes culture communication social norms Mood curious reflective Type cultural social travel When to use this quote - tourism - cross‑cultural interaction Key Concepts orientation privacy relationship status Questions to Reflect On - How do these questions affect travelers? - When is honesty more important than politeness? A Different Perspective Overemphasis on conformity may suppress personal truth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Friendship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/friendship/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Purpose](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/purpose/) [Single woman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/single-woman/) [Travel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/travel/) ## Related quotes > [“People are who they are. We make strangers into the image of who we need them to be. 1. 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If you tell them that you don't know where you're going, or that you're just wandering about randomly, you might instigate a bit of distress in the heart of your new Balinese friend. It's far better to pick some kind of specific direction -- anywhere -- just so everybody feels better. The third question a Balinese will almost certainly ask you is, \"Are you married?\" Again, it's a positioning and orienting inquiry. It's necessary for them to know this, to make sure that you are completely in order in your life. They really want you to say yes. it's such a relief to them when you say yes. If you're single, it's better not to say so directly. And I really recommend that you not mention your divorce at all, if you happen to have had one. It just makes the Balinese so worried. The only thing your solitude proves to them is your perilous dislocation from the grid. If you are a single woman traveling through Bali and somebody asks you, \"Are you married?\" the best possible answer is: \"Not yet.\" This is a polite way of saying, \"No,\" while indicating your optimistic intentions to get that taken care of just as soon as you can. 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