---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: When it seemed like I was going to really…"
description: "\"When it seemed like I was going to really have to be there at Todd's [Willingham] execution, I don't think I could have done it. I think I began to dis..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg"
---

#  When it seemed like I was going to really have to be there…

![“When it seemed like I was going to really have to be there at Todd's &#91;Willingham&#93; execution, I don't think I could have done it. I think I began to distance myself. I didn't visit as often; I didn't write as often. This was kind of after my conversation with &#91;fire science expert&#93; Gerald Hurst. And…” quote by Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg)

> “When it seemed like I was going to really have to be there at Todd's \[Willingham\] execution, I don't think I could have done it. I think I began to distance myself. I didn't visit as often; I didn't write as often. This was kind of after my conversation with \[fire science expert\] Gerald Hurst. And the \[car\] accident made sure that I didn't have to go up there. But I think he and I both shared that.”

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

Distancing from painful events can be a coping strategy after trauma.

**In simple terms:** Distance helps manage grief.

Key Takeaway

Create healthy boundaries after loss.

Themes

grief coping distance

Mood

somber thoughtful

Type

personal reflective

When to use this quote

- family gatherings
- memorials
- therapy sessions
- creative work

Key Concepts

psychological resilience personal growth

Questions to Reflect On

- When is distance protective versus avoidance?
- How can you honor memory while protecting yourself?

A Different Perspective

Avoiding can also lead to unresolved emotions.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Accidents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accidents/) [Car](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/car/) [Car accident](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/car-accident/) [Conversation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/conversation/) [Didn Visit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/didn-visit-3888336/) [Distance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/distance/) [Distance myself](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/distance-myself/) [Done](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/done/) [Execution](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/execution/) [Experts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/experts/) [Fire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fire/) [Kind](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/kind/) [Made](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/made/) [Really Todd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/really-todd-4062835/) [Science](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/science/) [Thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/thinking/) [Todd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/todd/) [Todd Willingham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/todd-willingham-1168215/) [Willingham Execution](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/willingham-execution-4062836/) [Writing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/writing/)

## Related quotes

> [ I can see how the authorities could not like Todd \[ Willingham\], because he's not a person who is going to give you respect… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-can-see-how-the-authorities-could-not-like-todd-willingham-because/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [ If Todd \[Willingham\] was guilty of anything, it was just his self-preservation. He got up and ran out of the house and then thought… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/if-todd-willingham-was-guilty-of-anything-it-was-just-his-self/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [ Todd's mother had several children by different fathers, and Todd \[Willingham\] had been abandoned in California. ... He's a good-looking man. He was a… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/todd-s-mother-had-several-children-by-different-fathers-and-todd/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [I didn't visit art galleries growing up. I didn't know anything about it. But at 17 I made the decision to leave home and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kesh/i-didn-t-visit-art-galleries-growing-up-i-didn-t-know-anything-about/)

[Kesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kesh/)

> [All I had done for five years was work 18 hours a day all over the world. I needed to step back and distance…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-cassidy/all-i-had-done-for-five-years-was-work-18-hours-a-day-all-over-the/)

[David Cassidy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-cassidy/)

> [“blood as well. The thing is, shit like this—well, it’s a virus you can’t ever get rid of. I feel myself failing. I feel…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stevie-j-cole/blood-as-well-the-thing-is-shit-like-this-well-it-s-a-virus-you-can-t/)

[Stevie J. Cole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stevie-j-cole/)

> [“I used to get mad at guys who’d made the mistakes my friend has made. Their lives seemed so dark and even evil that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/i-used-to-get-mad-at-guys-who-d-made-the-mistakes-my-friend-has-made/)

[Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/)

> [Just Because We don't talk doesn't mean I don't think about you, Im just trying to distance myself because I know I cant have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/just-because-we-don-t-talk-doesn-t-mean-i-don-t-think-about-you-im/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Learning that I could forgive my father, while realizing I did not have to let the aspects that I found unhealthy, disrespectful, and wrong…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-winsomer/learning-that-i-could-forgive-my-father-while-realizing-i-did-not/)

[Neal Winsomer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-winsomer/)

> [I'm done worrying about other people I pore my heart out so much I really don't need this thats why I distance my self…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dezz/i-m-done-worrying-about-other-people-i-pore-my-heart-out-so-much-i/)

[Dezz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dezz/)

> [“My life now consists of fragments where some are so blinding in their intensity that they make everything else indistinguishable. What shall I do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-olsson/my-life-now-consists-of-fragments-where-some-are-so-blinding-in-their/)

[Linda Olsson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-olsson/)

> [At the end of the day, what are genres? I've spent my whole life trying to fit into some sort of box. Am I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laufey/at-the-end-of-the-day-what-are-genres-i-ve-spent-my-whole-life-trying/)

[Laufey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laufey/)

> [You know what? Yes, I have changed. I'm not as nice as I used to be, because I don't want to get used or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orebela-gbenga/you-know-what-yes-i-have-changed-i-m-not-as-nice-as-i-used-to-be/)

[Orebela Gbenga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orebela-gbenga/)

> [As much as I love and respect my brother, Im doing my best to distance myself from him and kind of show people that,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-franco/as-much-as-i-love-and-respect-my-brother-im-doing-my-best-to-distance/)

[Dave Franco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-franco/)

> [Memories seem to surface in no particular order, with no time attached. Yesterday can seem as distant as last year. My life now consists…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/linda-olsson/memories-seem-to-surface-in-no-particular-order-with-no-time-attached/)

[Linda Olsson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/linda-olsson/)

## More by Elizabeth Gilbert

> [That's your friend. My husband is my best friend. He's not the mirror that holds up my flaws. He's just the guy who's like,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/that-s-your-friend-my-husband-is-my-best-friend-he-s-not-the-mirror/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [“Not to mention that I have finally arrived at that age where a woman starts to question whether the wisest way to get over…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/not-to-mention-that-i-have-finally-arrived-at-that-age-where-a-woman/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [“The Buddha taught that all human suffering is rooted in desire. Don't we all know this to be true? Any of us who have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/the-buddha-taught-that-all-human-suffering-is-rooted-in-desire-don-t/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [ “And while \[we\] do have possibilities that are vast and magnificent and almost infinite in scope, it's important to remember that our choice-rich lives… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/and-while-we-do-have-possibilities-that-are-vast-and-magnificent-and/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/learn-your-way-around-loneliness-make-a-map-of-it-sit-with-it-for/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [If we never leave our house except to drive to work, do we need to be even remotely aware of this powerful, humbling, extraordinary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/if-we-never-leave-our-house-except-to-drive-to-work-do-we-need-to-be/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [I will tell you why we have these extraordinary minds and souls, Miss Whittaker," he continued, as though he had not heard her. "We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-will-tell-you-why-we-have-these-extraordinary-minds-and-souls-miss/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [Both the five-year-olds looked at me with bewilderment and a bit of fearful uncertainty. I had a sudden horrifying image of the woman I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/both-the-five-year-olds-looked-at-me-with-bewilderment-and-a-bit-of/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [“Clearing out all your misery gets you out of the way. You cease being an obstacle, not only to yourself but to anyone else.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/clearing-out-all-your-misery-gets-you-out-of-the-way-you-cease-being/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [The ingredients of both darkness and light are equally present in all of us,...The madness of this planet is largely a result of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/the-ingredients-of-both-darkness-and-light-are-equally-present-in-all/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [I was full of a hot, powerful sadness and would have loved to burst into the comfort of tears, but tried hard not to,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-was-full-of-a-hot-powerful-sadness-and-would-have-loved-to-burst/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [“I live in nature where everything is connected, circular. The seasons are circular. The planet is circular, and so is the planet around the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-live-in-nature-where-everything-is-connected-circular-the-seasons/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [“His spelling was several degrees beyond arbitrary, and his punctuation brought reason to sigh with unhappiness. But”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/his-spelling-was-several-degrees-beyond-arbitrary-and-his-punctuation/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [Before you realize this truth, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, a notion nicely expressed in this exasperated line from the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/before-you-realize-this-truth-say-the-yogis-you-will-always-be-in/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

> [I actually have a great deal of respect for antidepressants; I think they can be enormously mighty tools toward recovery.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/i-actually-have-a-great-deal-of-respect-for-antidepressants-i-think/)

[Elizabeth Gilbert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

[Explore all 1,156 Elizabeth Gilbert quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/)

## More Accidents quotes

> [Almost all accidents take place because of human distraction.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sebastian-thrun/almost-all-accidents-take-place-because-of-human-distraction/)

[Sebastian Thrun](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sebastian-thrun/)

> [It was no accident, no coincidence, that the seasons came round and round year after year. It was the Lord speaking to us all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francine-rivers/it-was-no-accident-no-coincidence-that-the-seasons-came-round-and/)

[Francine Rivers](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francine-rivers/)

> [No, I think most astronauts recognize that the space shuttle program is very high-risk, and are prepared for accidents.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sally-ride/no-i-think-most-astronauts-recognize-that-the-space-shuttle-program/)

[Sally Ride](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sally-ride/)

> [In presenting a mathematical argument the great thing is to give the educated reader the chance to catch on at once to the momentary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-edensor-littlewood/in-presenting-a-mathematical-argument-the-great-thing-is-to-give-the/)

[John Edensor Littlewood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-edensor-littlewood/)

> [The only way to have a funeral is to invite everyone who ever knew the person and just wait for the accident to happen-somebody…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-roth/the-only-way-to-have-a-funeral-is-to-invite-everyone-who-ever-knew/)

[Philip Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-roth/)

> [Good films are not made by accident, nor is good photography. You can have good things happen, on occasion, by accident that can be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gordon-willis/good-films-are-not-made-by-accident-nor-is-good-photography-you-can/)

[Gordon Willis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gordon-willis/)

> [By education I am an Englishman, by views an internationalist, by culture a Muslim and a Hindu only by accident of birth.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jawaharlal-nehru/by-education-i-am-an-englishman-by-views-an-internationalist-by/)

[Jawaharlal Nehru](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jawaharlal-nehru/)

> [I made out with a homeless guy by accident. I had no idea -- he was really tan, he had no shoes on. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-schumer/i-made-out-with-a-homeless-guy-by-accident-i-had-no-idea-he-was/)

[Amy Schumer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-schumer/)

> [Naturally I feel no shame in writing these things because of the time which separates the moment when they are written--when only I can…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/annie-ernaux/naturally-i-feel-no-shame-in-writing-these-things-because-of-the-time/)

[Annie Ernaux](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/annie-ernaux/)

> [In a city where you walk around, it's impossible to plan your day and your life as accidents will happen, you'll overhear things, bump…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jason-schwartzman/in-a-city-where-you-walk-around-it-s-impossible-to-plan-your-day-and/)

[Jason Schwartzman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jason-schwartzman/)

> [I don't think it's by accident that I was first attracted to translating two French women poets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marilyn-hacker/i-don-t-think-it-s-by-accident-that-i-was-first-attracted-to/)

[Marilyn Hacker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marilyn-hacker/)

> [Despite my mentors advice that I would never go to heaven fishing with a weighted nymph and a float, I took it up. (As…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-bishop/despite-my-mentors-advice-that-i-would-never-go-to-heaven-fishing/)

[Tony Bishop](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-bishop/)

> [Dont stand outside in a lightning shower](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/padraig/dont-stand-outside-in-a-lightning-shower/)

[Padraig](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/padraig/)

> [In the eyes of those lovers of perfection, a work is never finished a word that for them has no sense but abandoned; and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-valery/in-the-eyes-of-those-lovers-of-perfection-a-work-is-never-finished-a/)

[Paul Valery](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-valery/)

> [My musical career was an accident.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sade-adu/my-musical-career-was-an-accident/)

[Sade Adu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sade-adu/)

[Browse all 1,971 Accidents quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/accidents/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "When it seemed like I was going to really have to be there at Todd's [Willingham] execution, I don't think I could have done it. I think I began to distance myself. I didn't visit as often; I didn't write as often. This was kind of after my conversation with [fire science expert] Gerald Hurst. And the [car] accident made sure that I didn't have to go up there. But I think he and I both shared that.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-really-have-to-be-there-at-todd-s/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Accidents"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-really-have-to-be-there-at-todd-s/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f23/elizabeth-gilbert-131_accidents_when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-reall_469750.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“When it seemed like I was going to really have to be there at Todd's [Willingham] execution, I don't think I…” — Elizabeth Gilbert",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Elizabeth Gilbert",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-gilbert/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "When it seemed like I was...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-really-have-to-be-there-at-todd-s/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-gilbert/when-it-seemed-like-i-was-going-to-really-have-to-be-there-at-todd-s/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
