--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Why did it have to be this way? Why did…" description: "\"“Why did it have to be this way? Why did she not feel attracted to this boy, who was kind and personable, close to her in age and probably good for her..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/398/elif-shafak-1594_attracted_why-did-it-have-to-be-this-way-why-did-s_2562909.jpg" --- # Why did it have to be this way? Why did she not feel… ![“Why did it have to be this way? Why did she not feel attracted to this boy, who was kind and personable, close to her in age and probably good for her? Instead it was the professor for whom she secretly yearned - a man not only old, unknown and unavailable, but also wrong. It puzzled her endlessly…” quote by Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/398/elif-shafak-1594_attracted_why-did-it-have-to-be-this-way-why-did-s_2562909.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/398/elif-shafak-1594_attracted_why-did-it-have-to-be-this-way-why-did-s_2562909.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/398/elif-shafak-1594_attracted_why-did-it-have-to-be-this-way-why-did-s_2562909.jpg) > ““Why did it have to be this way? Why did she not feel attracted to this boy, who was kind and personable, close to her in age and probably good for her? Instead it was the professor for whom she secretly yearned - a man not only old, unknown and unavailable, but also wrong. It puzzled her endlessly that she was not, and had never really been, interested in happiness - that magic word that was the subject of so many books, workshops and TV shows. She did not want to be unhappy. Of course, she didn't. It just did not occur to her to seek happiness as a worthwhile goal in life. How otherwise could she allow herself to carry a torch for a man like Azur?”” [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. She seeks fulfillment through an unattainable, inappropriate love, neglecting the simple pursuit of happiness. **In simple terms:** She chases the wrong love and ignores happiness. Key Takeaway Recognize and value attainable happiness over impossible desire. Themes love desire unattainable self‑awareness Mood conflicted longing reflective Type philosophical emotional When to use this quote - relationship choices - personal growth - career decisions - mental health - seeking fulfillment Key Concepts psychology existential longing self‑sabotage Questions to Reflect On - What would change if she pursued happiness directly? - How does idealizing the unavailable affect self‑worth? A Different Perspective Focusing on impossible love can blind one to realistic sources of joy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Attracted](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attracted/) [Happiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happiness/) [Happiness Magic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/happiness-magic-240259/) [Interested Happiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/interested-happiness-1622049/) [Professor Secretly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/professor-secretly-1622050/) [Seek Happiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/seek-happiness/) [Tv shows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tv-shows/) ## Related quotes > [Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-sandler/mama-says-that-happiness-is-from-magic-rays-of-sunshine-that-come/) [Adam Sandler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-sandler/) > [Happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/happiness-is-from-magic-rays-of-sunshine-that-come-down-when-you-re/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It bewildered Ig, the idea that a person could not be interested in music. It was like not being interested in happiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joe-hill/it-bewildered-ig-the-idea-that-a-person-could-not-be-interested-in/) [Joe Hill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joe-hill/) > [What I'm interested in is happiness with a full awareness of the tragedy of life, the potential tragedy that lurks around every corner and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wolfgang-tillmans/what-i-m-interested-in-is-happiness-with-a-full-awareness-of-the/) [Wolfgang Tillmans](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wolfgang-tillmans/) > [“Janaka told her to bring happiness into marriage, rather than seek happiness from it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/devdutt-pattanaik/janaka-told-her-to-bring-happiness-into-marriage-rather-than-seek/) [Devdutt Pattanaik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/devdutt-pattanaik/) > [Seek happiness in tranquility and avoid ambition even if it be only the apparently innocent one of distinguishing yourself in science and discoveries.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/seek-happiness-in-tranquility-and-avoid-ambition-even-if-it-be-only/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Looking at the world today, we might easily forget that the main purpose of our life - you could call it the heart of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/looking-at-the-world-today-we-might-easily-forget-that-the-main/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Those who seek happiness miss it, and those who discuss it, lack it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/holbrook-jackson/those-who-seek-happiness-miss-it-and-those-who-discuss-it-lack-it/) [Holbrook Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/holbrook-jackson/) > [Many seek happiness higher than men; others beneath him. But happiness is the same height as man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/confucius/many-seek-happiness-higher-than-men-others-beneath-him-but-happiness/) [Confucius](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/confucius/) > [“If you seek money, be wise; if you seek power, be strong; if you seek honor, be virtuous; if you seek happiness, be yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matshona-dhliwayo/if-you-seek-money-be-wise-if-you-seek-power-be-strong-if-you-seek/) [Matshona Dhliwayo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matshona-dhliwayo/) > [“If you seek happiness, look in the mirror. If you seek love, look elsewhere.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-f-shubnell/if-you-seek-happiness-look-in-the-mirror-if-you-seek-love-look/) [Thomas F. Shubnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-f-shubnell/) > [I believe the very purpose of our life is to seek happiness. Whether one believes in religion or not, whether one believes in that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-believe-the-very-purpose-of-our-life-is-to-seek-happiness-whether/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [We desire truth, and find within ourselves only uncertainty. We seek happiness, and find only misery and death. We cannot but desire truth and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blaise-pascal/we-desire-truth-and-find-within-ourselves-only-uncertainty-we-seek/) [Blaise Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blaise-pascal/) > [“Don't wait for happiness to knock your door. You have to seek for happiness by yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kamaran-ihsan-salih/don-t-wait-for-happiness-to-knock-your-door-you-have-to-seek-for/) [Kamaran Ihsan Salih](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kamaran-ihsan-salih/) > [The Stoics say, "Retire within yourselves; it is there you will find your rest." And that is not true. Others say, "Go out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/blaise-pascal/the-stoics-say-retire-within-yourselves-it-is-there-you-will-find/) [Blaise Pascal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/blaise-pascal/) ## More by Elif Shafak > [“Od nje je naučio dvije osnovne stvari o ljubavi: prvo, da je, za razliku od onoga što romantici tako naduto tvrde, ljubav više postupan…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/od-nje-je-nau-io-dvije-osnovne-stvari-o-ljubavi-prvo-da-je-za-razliku/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“Why roots were rated so highly compared with branches or leaves, Peri had never understood. Trees had multiple shoots and filaments extending in every…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/why-roots-were-rated-so-highly-compared-with-branches-or-leaves-peri/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“How could they be so certain of the superiority of their truths when they knew so little, if anything at all, about other cultures,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/how-could-they-be-so-certain-of-the-superiority-of-their-truths-when/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“When you master a language, you are given the key to a castle. What you’ll find inside depends on you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/when-you-master-a-language-you-are-given-the-key-to-a-castle-what-you/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“Her insanın erafında bir renk halesi vardır. Seninkini biliyor musun?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/her-insan-n-eraf-nda-bir-renk-halesi-vard-r-seninkini-biliyor-musun/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“I'm not one of those pious types who spend their whole lives hunched on prayer rugs while their eyes and hearts remain closed to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/i-m-not-one-of-those-pious-types-who-spend-their-whole-lives-hunched/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“England has a peculiar way of making foreigners feel exhilaratingly free and depressingly alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/england-has-a-peculiar-way-of-making-foreigners-feel-exhilaratingly/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“There are things so awful in this world that the good-hearted people, may Allah bless them all, have absolutely no idea of. And that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/there-are-things-so-awful-in-this-world-that-the-good-hearted-people/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“Irrationality is part of everyday rationale”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/irrationality-is-part-of-everyday-rationale/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“In love, boundaries are blurred.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/in-love-boundaries-are-blurred/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“It had just hit her why and how people could fall in love with Istanbul, in spite of all the sorrow it might cause…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/it-had-just-hit-her-why-and-how-people-could-fall-in-love-with/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“Inside, I found three things: a silver mirror, a silk handkerchief, and a glass flask of ointment. These items will help you on your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/inside-i-found-three-things-a-silver-mirror-a-silk-handkerchief-and-a/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“Talent is a favor of the divine. To perfect it one must work hard.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/talent-is-a-favor-of-the-divine-to-perfect-it-one-must-work-hard/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“level, they use this as a poor excuse to disregard the rules of the sharia. Drinking, dancing, music, poetry, and painting”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/level-they-use-this-as-a-poor-excuse-to-disregard-the-rules-of-the/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) > [“In many parts of the world you were what you said and what you did and, also, what you read; in Turkey, as in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elif-shafak/in-many-parts-of-the-world-you-were-what-you-said-and-what-you-did/) [Elif Shafak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) [Explore all 180 Elif Shafak quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elif-shafak/) ## More Attracted quotes > [I guess I'm attracted to things that are fun. I guess what is fun about this role in 'Suburgatory' is that there's a lot…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-tudyk/i-guess-i-m-attracted-to-things-that-are-fun-i-guess-what-is-fun/) [Alan Tudyk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-tudyk/) > [It’s hard to feel attracted to someone who has abandoned her sense of autonomy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/esther-perel/it-s-hard-to-feel-attracted-to-someone-who-has-abandoned-her-sense-of/) [Esther Perel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/esther-perel/) > [Men can be attracted but not forced to the faith. You may drive people to baptism, (but) you won't move them one step further…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alcuin/men-can-be-attracted-but-not-forced-to-the-faith-you-may-drive-people/) [Alcuin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alcuin/) > [Had Elijah Muhammad tried to introduce an orthodox form of Arab-oriented Islam, I doubt if he would have attracted 500 people, but he introduced…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-henrik-clarke/had-elijah-muhammad-tried-to-introduce-an-orthodox-form-of-arab/) [John Henrik Clarke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-henrik-clarke/) > [“Talk about insanity. Being attracted to deVries was like a moth saying, "Hey, let's go check out that awesome bonfire".”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cherise-sinclair/talk-about-insanity-being-attracted-to-devries-was-like-a-moth-saying/) [cherise sinclair](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cherise-sinclair/) > [I still get attracted to people but having a relationship isn't fair on the other person.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-hegerty/i-still-get-attracted-to-people-but-having-a-relationship-isn-t-fair/) [Anne Hegerty](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-hegerty/) > [I have always been attracted to gay guys so I always thought I am gay man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trisha-paytas/i-have-always-been-attracted-to-gay-guys-so-i-always-thought-i-am-gay/) [Trisha Paytas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trisha-paytas/) > [I'm attracted to playing characters that have flaws.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-shahi/i-m-attracted-to-playing-characters-that-have-flaws/) [Sarah Shahi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-shahi/) > [I think part of the reason I'm attracted to Foster is because he's such a mess. I mean, the people I have loved in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/augusten-burroughs/i-think-part-of-the-reason-i-m-attracted-to-foster-is-because-he-s/) [Augusten Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/augusten-burroughs/) > [“I would never get used to how gorgeous he was or the effect he had on me besides just intimidating the hell out of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sloane-kennedy/i-would-never-get-used-to-how-gorgeous-he-was-or-the-effect-he-had-on/) [Sloane Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sloane-kennedy/) > [I can simply say that I feel spontaneously attracted by everything that is beautiful... It comes from the unconscious and not from my knowledge...…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leni-riefenstahl/i-can-simply-say-that-i-feel-spontaneously-attracted-by-everything/) [Leni Riefenstahl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leni-riefenstahl/) > [I'm attracted to the extreme light and the extreme dark. I'm interested in the human condition and what makes people tick. I'm interested in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johnny-depp/i-m-attracted-to-the-extreme-light-and-the-extreme-dark-i-m/) [Johnny Depp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johnny-depp/) > [“Even though she would dream of love, respect, and unfettered romance... it was a cyclical dilemma in her life that she seemed to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-maraboli/even-though-she-would-dream-of-love-respect-and-unfettered-romance-it/) [Steve Maraboli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-maraboli/) > [It's not difficult to be attracted to Rupert Penry-Jones.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/genevieve-o-reilly/it-s-not-difficult-to-be-attracted-to-rupert-penry-jones/) [Genevieve O'Reilly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/genevieve-o-reilly/) > [I've always been attracted to characters that were interesting to me, and different.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/milla-jovovich/i-ve-always-been-attracted-to-characters-that-were-interesting-to-me/) [Milla Jovovich](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/milla-jovovich/) [Browse all 901 Attracted quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/attracted/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Why did it have to be this way? Why did she not feel attracted to this boy, who was kind and personable, close to her in age and probably good for her? Instead it was the professor for whom she secretly yearned - a man not only old, unknown and unavailable, but also wrong. It puzzled her endlessly that she was not, and had never really been, interested in happiness - that magic word that was the subject of so many books, workshops and TV shows. She did not want to be unhappy. Of course, she didn't. It just did not occur to her to seek happiness as a worthwhile goal in life. 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