--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: She said the reason that love is so…" description: "\"She said the reason that love is so painful is that it always amounts to two people wanting more than two people can give.\" — Edna O'Brien" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png" --- # She said the reason that love is so painful is that it… ![“She said the reason that love is so painful is that it always amounts to two people wanting more than two people can give.” quote by Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png) > “She said the reason that love is so painful is that it always amounts to two people wanting more than two people can give.” [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love pain arises when expectations exceed what two individuals can mutually provide. **In simple terms:** Love hurts when expectations outgrow capacity. Key Takeaway Align expectations with realistic limits. Themes love expectations relationships Mood melancholy reflective Type philosophical emotional When to use this quote - dating - marriage - friendship - family dynamics Key Concepts interdependence emotional labor Questions to Reflect On - How can you negotiate expectations? - What limits are realistic for you? A Different Perspective Not all pain is due to mismatch; external factors also matter. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Giving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Reason](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reason/) [Wanting more](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wanting-more/) ## Related quotes > [It's better to leave them wanting more than to be the show where people are like, "Oh, that's still on the air?"](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robbie-amell/it-s-better-to-leave-them-wanting-more-than-to-be-the-show-where/) [Robbie Amell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robbie-amell/) > [Our economy is based upon people wanting more; their happiness on wanting less.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-a-clark/our-economy-is-based-upon-people-wanting-more-their-happiness-on/) [Frank A. Clark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-a-clark/) > [My love for you is only painful, because I love you from afar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-love-for-you-is-only-painful-because-i-love-you-from-afar/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Love is not painful. Circumstances make it painful.. And if you're really in love, that pain will also seem beautiful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/farah-mustafa/love-is-not-painful-circumstances-make-it-painful-and-if-you-re/) [Farah Mustafa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/farah-mustafa/) > [The Most Beautiful Line Is... 'But I Love You,' The Most Painful Line Is 'I Love You But,,,' See The Difference?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pacifiersucker/the-most-beautiful-line-is-but-i-love-you-the-most-painful-line-is-i/) Pacifiersucker > [Love becomes so painful when you expect everything back as you've given and then they don't.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/terry-mark/love-becomes-so-painful-when-you-expect-everything-back-as-you-ve/) [Terry Mark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/terry-mark/) > [I've been in love. It's painful and pointless and overrated.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-ve-been-in-love-it-s-painful-and-pointless-and-overrated/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Love is painful ain't no one have a need for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chloe/love-is-painful-ain-t-no-one-have-a-need-for-it/) [Chloe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chloe/) > [The most beautiful sentence->but I love you…the most painful sentence->i love you but.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bakare/the-most-beautiful-sentence-but-i-love-you-the-most-painful-sentence/) [Bakare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bakare/) > [I have an extremely tight, extremely big family, and I love them so much it's almost painful.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerli/i-have-an-extremely-tight-extremely-big-family-and-i-love-them-so/) [Kerli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerli/) > [“Wanting is why people get up in the morning. It gives them something to dream of at night. The more I wanted, the more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leigh-bardugo/wanting-is-why-people-get-up-in-the-morning-it-gives-them-something/) [Leigh Bardugo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leigh-bardugo/) > [You know, if you're going to be honest with yourself, you have to admit that you go into show business wanting people to talk…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ellen-degeneres/you-know-if-you-re-going-to-be-honest-with-yourself-you-have-to-admit/) [Ellen DeGeneres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ellen-degeneres/) > [If I could just get over my issues of wanting people to like me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keegan-michael-key/if-i-could-just-get-over-my-issues-of-wanting-people-to-like-me/) [Keegan-Michael Key](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keegan-michael-key/) > [I would tell anyone who wants something from someone else to feign not wanting it. People are perverse. If you show great affection to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hedy-lamarr/i-would-tell-anyone-who-wants-something-from-someone-else-to-feign/) [Hedy Lamarr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hedy-lamarr/) > [Going back and forth between wanting to be respected artistically and wanting to move people is its own challenge.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/danger-mouse/going-back-and-forth-between-wanting-to-be-respected-artistically-and/) [Danger Mouse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/danger-mouse/) ## More by Edna O'Brien > [... a country encapsulates our childhood and those lanes, byres, fields, flowers, insects, suns, moons and stars are forever reoccurring.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/a-country-encapsulates-our-childhood-and-those-lanes-byres-fields/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [You have to be lonely to be a writer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/you-have-to-be-lonely-to-be-a-writer/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [I crossed the room, and what you did was to feel my hair over and over again and in different ways, touch it, with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/i-crossed-the-room-and-what-you-did-was-to-feel-my-hair-over-and-over/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [In our deepest moments we say the most inadequate things.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/in-our-deepest-moments-we-say-the-most-inadequate-things/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [We hide the truer part of ourselves when we love.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/we-hide-the-truer-part-of-ourselves-when-we-love/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [The vote means nothing to women. We should be armed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/the-vote-means-nothing-to-women-we-should-be-armed/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [Movie people are possessed by demons, but a very low form of demons.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/movie-people-are-possessed-by-demons-but-a-very-low-form-of-demons/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [Ordinary life bypassed me, but I also bypassed it. It couldn't have been any other way.Conventional life and conventional people are not for me.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/ordinary-life-bypassed-me-but-i-also-bypassed-it-it-couldn-t-have/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [History is said to be written by the victors. Fiction, by contrast, is largely the work of injured bystanders.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/history-is-said-to-be-written-by-the-victors-fiction-by-contrast-is/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [“A healer! The beauty of the word a balm. In a mounting astonishment she hears how this man heals with his own blood, pricks…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/a-healer-the-beauty-of-the-word-a-balm-in-a-mounting-astonishment-she/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [“If I could feel like myself I’d thank God but I don’t feel and never will.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/if-i-could-feel-like-myself-i-d-thank-god-but-i-don-t-feel-and-never/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [...people liking you or not liking you is an accident and is to do with them and not you. That goes for love too,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/people-liking-you-or-not-liking-you-is-an-accident-and-is-to-do-with/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [“tears running down her cheeks and her nose, tears from the cold and the prospect of being absent for weeks.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/tears-running-down-her-cheeks-and-her-nose-tears-from-the-cold-and/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [“laughter filling that end of the ward, overflowing, one bringing a chair for Eleanora, another a cup of coffee, marveling that at long last…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/laughter-filling-that-end-of-the-ward-overflowing-one-bringing-a/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) > [“Dilly reckons it would be difficult to thread those needles, the eyes so small, especially with her cataracts.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/dilly-reckons-it-would-be-difficult-to-thread-those-needles-the-eyes/) [Edna O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) [Explore all 182 Edna O'Brien quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/) ## More Giving quotes > [Only within yourself exists the other reality for which you long. I can give you nothing that has not already its being within yourself.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hermann-hesse/only-within-yourself-exists-the-other-reality-for-which-you-long-i/) [Hermann Hesse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hermann-hesse/) > [The only people who think the Internet is a calamity are people whose lives have been hurt by it; the only people who insist…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chuck-klosterman/the-only-people-who-think-the-internet-is-a-calamity-are-people-whose/) [Chuck Klosterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chuck-klosterman/) > [True works of art contain their own theory and give us the measurement according to which we should judge them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/true-works-of-art-contain-their-own-theory-and-give-us-the/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [Crony capitalism is essentially a condition in which... public officials are giving favours to people in the private sector in payment of political favours.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-greenspan/crony-capitalism-is-essentially-a-condition-in-which-public-officials/) [Alan Greenspan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-greenspan/) > [Some people give you that motivation to work harder simply to get the hell away from wherever they are.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dane-cook/some-people-give-you-that-motivation-to-work-harder-simply-to-get-the/) [Dane Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dane-cook/) > [You've touched people and known it. You've touched people and never may know it. Either way, you have something to give. It is in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-schlessinger/you-ve-touched-people-and-known-it-you-ve-touched-people-and-never/) [Laura Schlessinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-schlessinger/) > [I understand that it's the music that keeps me alive... That's my lifeblood. And to give that up for, like, the TV, the cars,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bruce-springsteen/i-understand-that-it-s-the-music-that-keeps-me-alive-that-s-my/) [Bruce Springsteen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bruce-springsteen/) > [I received a beautiful welcome to the world of music. I want to give something back to the younger generation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luciano-pavarotti/i-received-a-beautiful-welcome-to-the-world-of-music-i-want-to-give/) [Luciano Pavarotti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luciano-pavarotti/) > [Eternal Trinity... mystery deep as the sea, You could give me no greater gift than the gift of Yourself. For You are a fire…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/st-catherine-of-siena/eternal-trinity-mystery-deep-as-the-sea-you-could-give-me-no-greater/) [St. Catherine of Siena](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/st-catherine-of-siena/) > [Faith gives you a certain structure and meaning to your life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/riffat-hassan/faith-gives-you-a-certain-structure-and-meaning-to-your-life/) Riffat Hassan > [Grandma, please. It’s okay. Dad’s doing a great job. I give him kudos for at least being calm and rational, and not losing his…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherrilyn-kenyon/grandma-please-it-s-okay-dad-s-doing-a-great-job-i-give-him-kudos-for/) [Sherrilyn Kenyon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherrilyn-kenyon/) > [Most paper money initially existed as a substitute for gold. That's what gave it value. But right now what gives a currency value is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-schiff/most-paper-money-initially-existed-as-a-substitute-for-gold-that-s/) [Peter Schiff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-schiff/) > [Practically all animals which move fast in a homogeneous medium have found means of giving their body a streamlined shape, thereby reducing friction to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/konrad-lorenz/practically-all-animals-which-move-fast-in-a-homogeneous-medium-have/) [Konrad Lorenz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/konrad-lorenz/) > [Give me strength to walk the soft earth, a relative to all that is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/black-elk/give-me-strength-to-walk-the-soft-earth-a-relative-to-all-that-is/) [Black Elk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/black-elk/) > [I don't think my relationship with the idea of womanhood is that attached to giving birth... like, I'm fully aware that I'll never give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/patti-harrison/i-don-t-think-my-relationship-with-the-idea-of-womanhood-is-that/) [Patti Harrison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/patti-harrison/) [Browse all 39,303 Giving quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "She said the reason that love is so painful is that it always amounts to two people wanting more than two people can give.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Edna O'Brien" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-painful-is-that-it-always-amounts/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Giving" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-painful-is-that-it-always-amounts/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/32e/edna-o-brien-2155_giving_she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-pain_1081612.png", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“She said the reason that love is so painful is that it always amounts to two people wanting more than two…” — Edna O'Brien", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Edna O'Brien", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edna-o-brien/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "She said the reason that love...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-painful-is-that-it-always-amounts/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edna-o-brien/she-said-the-reason-that-love-is-so-painful-is-that-it-always-amounts/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```