--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Only the fact that we are unaware how…" description: "\"Only the fact that we are unaware how well our nearest know us enables us to live with them. Love is the most impregnable refuge of self-esteem, and we..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/edith-wharton-512_esteem_only-the-fact-that-we-are-unaware-how-we_3063729.png" --- # Only the fact that we are unaware how well our nearest… ![“Only the fact that we are unaware how well our nearest know us enables us to live with them. Love is the most impregnable refuge of self-esteem, and we hate the eye that reaches to our nakedness. Edith Wharton ~ The Touchstone” quote by Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/edith-wharton-512_esteem_only-the-fact-that-we-are-unaware-how-we_3063729.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/edith-wharton-512_esteem_only-the-fact-that-we-are-unaware-how-we_3063729.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/bfc/edith-wharton-512_esteem_only-the-fact-that-we-are-unaware-how-we_3063729.png) > “Only the fact that we are unaware how well our nearest know us enables us to live with them. Love is the most impregnable refuge of self-esteem, and we hate the eye that reaches to our nakedness. Edith Wharton ~ The Touchstone” [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Unawareness of how others truly know us creates a safe distance; love protects self-esteem but also hides vulnerability. **In simple terms:** Love shields self-esteem. Key Takeaway Embrace honest connections despite fear of exposure. Themes love self-esteem vulnerability relationships identity Mood reflective melancholic Type literary philosophical When to use this quote - friendships - romantic relationships - family dynamics - personal growth Key Concepts psychology of intimacy self-perception Questions to Reflect On - How does love protect or conceal self? - What fears arise when truly known? A Different Perspective Avoiding truth can erode genuine intimacy. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem/) [Facts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/facts/) [Hate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hate/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Nakedness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/nakedness/) [Refuge](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/refuge/) [Self](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self/) [Self esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-esteem/) ## Related quotes > [“I had written short stories that were thought worthy of preservation! Was it the same insignificant I that I had always known? Any one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/i-had-written-short-stories-that-were-thought-worthy-of-preservation/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. --Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/there-are-two-ways-of-spreading-light-to-be-the-candle-or-the-mirror-3/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [In all my novels, a sense of place - not just geographic but social - is a critical element. I have always been drawn…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-wiggs/in-all-my-novels-a-sense-of-place-not-just-geographic-but-social-is-a/) [Susan Wiggs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-wiggs/) > [Edith Wharton was a natural story-teller. As plots do in real life, hers flow directly from character. Her prose is so effortlessly elegant that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lionel-shriver/edith-wharton-was-a-natural-story-teller-as-plots-do-in-real-life/) [Lionel Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lionel-shriver/) > [“Sam Anderson. “The Greatest Novel.” New York Magazine (outline). Jan. 9, 2011. 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So I put the TV out on the street.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-bank/i-live-by-edith-wharton-s-rule-to-get-rid-of-anything-neither-useful/) [Melissa Bank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-bank/) > [ “\[T\]he pain was unspeakable, worse than reading the collected works of Edith Wharton.” ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-hearne/t-he-pain-was-unspeakable-worse-than-reading-the-collected-works-of/) [Kevin Hearne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-hearne/) > [“Edith Wharton did have one potentially redeeming disadvantage: she wasn’t pretty.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-franzen/edith-wharton-did-have-one-potentially-redeeming-disadvantage-she/) [Jonathan Franzen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-franzen/) > [“You'll be amazed how much you have in common with Edith Wharton (who struggled to feel worthy of success), Louisa May Alcott (who badly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nava-atlas/you-ll-be-amazed-how-much-you-have-in-common-with-edith-wharton-who/) Nava Atlas > [I live by Edith Whartons rule to get rid of anything neither useful nor beautiful. So I put the TV out on the street.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/melissa-bank/i-live-by-edith-whartons-rule-to-get-rid-of-anything-neither-useful/) [Melissa Bank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/melissa-bank/) > [I love Edith Wharton. And I love old New York. Anything to do with New York.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leighton-meester/i-love-edith-wharton-and-i-love-old-new-york-anything-to-do-with-new/) [Leighton Meester](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leighton-meester/) > ['The Buccaneers' was an Edith Wharton novel, and she never finished it, and a screenwriter adapted it for television.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-frain/the-buccaneers-was-an-edith-wharton-novel-and-she-never-finished-it/) [James Frain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-frain/) ## More by Edith Wharton > [“Suddenly the air was full of that deep clangor of bells which periodically covers Rome with a roof of silver.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/suddenly-the-air-was-full-of-that-deep-clangor-of-bells-which/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“Untrained human nature was not frank and innocent; it was full of the twists and defences of an instinctive guile. And he felt himself…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/untrained-human-nature-was-not-frank-and-innocent-it-was-full-of-the/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“High Pasture Come up--come up: in the dim vale below The autumn mist muffles the fading trees, But on this keen hill-pasture, though the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/high-pasture-come-up-come-up-in-the-dim-vale-below-the-autumn-mist/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“Two ways to be a light for all, is to be a flaming candle or the mirror that reflects it”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/two-ways-to-be-a-light-for-all-is-to-be-a-flaming-candle-or-the/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“... no treasure-house of Atreus was ever as rich as a well-stored memory.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/no-treasure-house-of-atreus-was-ever-as-rich-as-a-well-stored-memory/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“...the endless labour of rolling human stupidity up the steep hill of understanding.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/the-endless-labour-of-rolling-human-stupidity-up-the-steep-hill-of/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“he saw his marriage becoming what most of the other marriages about him were: a dull association of material and social interests held together…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/he-saw-his-marriage-becoming-what-most-of-the-other-marriages-about/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [The real loneliness is living among all these kind people who only ask one to pretend!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/the-real-loneliness-is-living-among-all-these-kind-people-who-only/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [With a shiver of foreboding he saw his marriage becoming what most of the other marriages about him were: a dull association of material…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/with-a-shiver-of-foreboding-he-saw-his-marriage-becoming-what-most-of/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [Life is the saddest thing there is, next to death.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/life-is-the-saddest-thing-there-is-next-to-death/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [A classic is classic not because it conforms to certain structural rules, or fits certain definitions (of which its author had quite probably never…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/a-classic-is-classic-not-because-it-conforms-to-certain-structural/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [There is too much sour grapes for my taste in the present American attitude. The time to denounce the bankers was when we were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/there-is-too-much-sour-grapes-for-my-taste-in-the-present-american/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“But in a few years more perhaps there may be; for, deep within us as the ghost instinct lurks, I seem to see it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/but-in-a-few-years-more-perhaps-there-may-be-for-deep-within-us-as/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [Dialogue in fiction should be reserved for the culminating moments and regarded as the spray into which the great wave of narrative breaks in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/dialogue-in-fiction-should-be-reserved-for-the-culminating-moments/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) > [“These Americans, under their forthcoming manner, their surface-gush, as some might call it, have an odd reticence about what goes on underneath.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/edith-wharton/these-americans-under-their-forthcoming-manner-their-surface-gush-as/) [Edith Wharton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) [Explore all 504 Edith Wharton quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/edith-wharton/) ## More Esteem quotes > [Her dignity consists in being unknown to the world; her glory is in the esteem of her husband; her pleasures in the happiness of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-jacques-rousseau/her-dignity-consists-in-being-unknown-to-the-world-her-glory-is-in/) [Jean-Jacques Rousseau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-jacques-rousseau/) > [Nothing is better for self-esteem than survival.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-gellhorn/nothing-is-better-for-self-esteem-than-survival/) [Martha Gellhorn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-gellhorn/) > [Needs cause motivation. 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Contrary to popular belief, it is not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathaniel-branden/to-preserve-an-unclouded-capacity-for-the-enjoyment-of-life-is-an/) [Nathaniel Branden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathaniel-branden/) > [If you go to any nunnery and ask them what the main obstacle is, they'll always say low self-esteem and lack of confidence. It…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tenzin-palmo/if-you-go-to-any-nunnery-and-ask-them-what-the-main-obstacle-is-they/) [Tenzin Palmo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tenzin-palmo/) > [Don't worry so much about your self-esteem. Worry more about your character. Integrity is its own reward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-schlessinger/don-t-worry-so-much-about-your-self-esteem-worry-more-about-your/) [Laura Schlessinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-schlessinger/) > [Spina bifida affects every single aspect of your life, from your child's self-esteem to your ability to sleep at night.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nicole-ari-parker/spina-bifida-affects-every-single-aspect-of-your-life-from-your-child/) [Nicole Ari Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nicole-ari-parker/) > [You never exist quite so much as when you are not thinking](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/you-never-exist-quite-so-much-as-when-you-are-not-thinking/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [Never let the opinion of another affect your opinion of yourself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-mummert/never-let-the-opinion-of-another-affect-your-opinion-of-yourself/) [Teresa Mummert](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/teresa-mummert/) > [You'd be surprised how addicting high self-esteem is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fergie/you-d-be-surprised-how-addicting-high-self-esteem-is/) [Fergie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fergie/) > [The only thing I pay attention to with free throws is what a guy does in the final four minutes of a game. 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