--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: No, no, no. I cannot be with someone who…" description: "\"“No, no, no. I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can’t love me.”\" — E.L. James" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/228/e-l-james-470_inflicting-pain_no-no-no-i-cannot-be-with-someone-who-ta_1445190.png" --- # No, no, no. I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in… ![“No, no, no. I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can’t love me.” quote by E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/228/e-l-james-470_inflicting-pain_no-no-no-i-cannot-be-with-someone-who-ta_1445190.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/228/e-l-james-470_inflicting-pain_no-no-no-i-cannot-be-with-someone-who-ta_1445190.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/228/e-l-james-470_inflicting-pain_no-no-no-i-cannot-be-with-someone-who-ta_1445190.png) > ““No, no, no. I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can’t love me.”” [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker refuses intimacy with anyone who enjoys causing them suffering, demanding love without pain. **In simple terms:** Refuse relationships that cause emotional harm. Key Takeaway Choose partners who respect and cherish you. Themes relationships self‑respect emotional health Mood determined protective Type advice personal When to use this quote - dating - therapy - personal growth Key Concepts boundaries trust psychological safety Questions to Reflect On - What boundaries are essential for you? - How do you recognize healthy love? A Different Perspective Love can be complicated by power dynamics and trauma. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Inflicting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inflicting-3773664/) [Inflicting pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inflicting-pain/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Pain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain/) [Pain love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pain-love/) [Pleasure Inflicting](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/pleasure-inflicting-3773663/) ## Related quotes > [I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can't love me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-cannot-be-with-someone-who-takes-pleasure-in-inflicting-pain-on-me/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-orwell/power-is-in-inflicting-pain-and-humiliation/) [George Orwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-orwell/) > [“As I said, I am not a dominant. I do not derive pleasure from inflicting or receiving pain. In truth, I rather vehemently abhor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/as-i-said-i-am-not-a-dominant-i-do-not-derive-pleasure-from/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Fate is not satisfied with inflicting one calamity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/publilius-syrus/fate-is-not-satisfied-with-inflicting-one-calamity/) [Publilius Syrus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/publilius-syrus/) > [Why bother inflicting enormous pain on yourself when sooner or later Life would certainly get around to doing it for you?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-lindsay/why-bother-inflicting-enormous-pain-on-yourself-when-sooner-or-later/) [Jeff Lindsay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-lindsay/) > [Fortune is not satisfied with inflicting one calamity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/publilius-syrus/fortune-is-not-satisfied-with-inflicting-one-calamity/) [Publilius Syrus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/publilius-syrus/) > [“Can I see him again? Could I bear it? Do I want to see him? I close my eyes and tilt my head back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/can-i-see-him-again-could-i-bear-it-do-i-want-to-see-him-i-close-my/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-vast-majority-of-the-race-whether-savage-or-civilized-are/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/i-believe-all-suffering-is-caused-by-ignorance/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [“And that's just the beginning. More and more, conventional wisdom says that the responsible thing is to make the unemployed suffer. And while the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-krugman/and-that-s-just-the-beginning-more-and-more-conventional-wisdom-says/) [Paul Krugman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-krugman/) > [Which other major religion is based on the Godhead incarnate being whipped, tacked to a cross, stabbed? Only the Marquis de Sade could have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gore-vidal/which-other-major-religion-is-based-on-the-godhead-incarnate-being/) [Gore Vidal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gore-vidal/) > [Read from a distant star, the majuscule script of our earthly existence would perhaps lead to the conclusion that the earth was the distinctively…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/read-from-a-distant-star-the-majuscule-script-of-our-earthly/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [When anaesthetics were invented they were thought to be wicked as being an attempt to thwart God's will. Insanity was thought to be due…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/when-anaesthetics-were-invented-they-were-thought-to-be-wicked-as/) [Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/) > [Slaves to my torment. Scream to your heart's content. Time and time againpPleasure in inflicting pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slayer/slaves-to-my-torment-scream-to-your-heart-s-content-time-and-time/) [Slayer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slayer/) > [Children enjoy inflicting pain until unhappiness teaches them tenderness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/children-enjoy-inflicting-pain-until-unhappiness-teaches-them/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) ## More by E.L. James > [“Don’t,” he murmurs, then kisses me lightly. “Why don’t you like to be touched?” I whisper, staring up into soft gray eyes. “Because I’m…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/don-t-he-murmurs-then-kisses-me-lightly-why-don-t-you-like-to-be/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“Are you crazy?" "Crazy for you," he whispers.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/are-you-crazy-crazy-for-you-he-whispers/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“If he touches me, I will succumb. I know the power he wields over me and my traitorous body. I know.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/if-he-touches-me-i-will-succumb-i-know-the-power-he-wields-over-me/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“I’ve been so busy I haven’t managed to contact her since this morning, but she’s been hovering at the edge of my consciousness all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/i-ve-been-so-busy-i-haven-t-managed-to-contact-her-since-this-morning/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“Let me ask you something first. Do you want a regular vanilla relationship with no kinky fu\*kery at all?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/let-me-ask-you-something-first-do-you-want-a-regular-vanilla/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“And the baby?" The words are anguished, breathless. "The baby's fine, Mr. Grey." "Oh, thank God." The words are litany... a prayer, "Oh, thank…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/and-the-baby-the-words-are-anguished-breathless-the-baby-s-fine-mr/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“Anastasia You Are My More My Love, My Life Christian”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/anastasia-you-are-my-more-my-love-my-life-christian/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“No. No!” he says. “I . . .” He looks wildly around the room. For inspiration? For divine intervention? I don’t know. “You can’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/no-no-he-says-i-he-looks-wildly-around-the-room-for-inspiration-for/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“‎"His grin widens, and leaning down, he undoes the tie.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/his-grin-widens-and-leaning-down-he-undoes-the-tie/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“I can't even escape him in my dreams.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/i-can-t-even-escape-him-in-my-dreams/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“Because we're getting to know each other, and you're stubborn and cantankerous and moody and difficult.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/because-we-re-getting-to-know-each-other-and-you-re-stubborn-and/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“«Si no puedes vencerles, únete a ellos».”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/si-no-puedes-vencerles-nete-a-ellos/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“His magic is powerful, intoxicating. I'm a butterfly caught in his net, unable and unwilling to escape. I'm his … totally his". (Ana to Christian)”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/his-magic-is-powerful-intoxicating-i-m-a-butterfly-caught-in-his-net/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“My world was ordered, calm, and controlled, then you came into my life with your smart mouth, your innocence, your beauty, and your quiet…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/my-world-was-ordered-calm-and-controlled-then-you-came-into-my-life/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“I've been burned already, and yet here I am again”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/i-ve-been-burned-already-and-yet-here-i-am-again/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) [Explore all 503 E.L. James quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) ## More Inflicting pain quotes > [Children enjoy inflicting pain until unhappiness teaches them tenderness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mason-cooley/children-enjoy-inflicting-pain-until-unhappiness-teaches-them/) [Mason Cooley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mason-cooley/) > [Slaves to my torment. Scream to your heart's content. Time and time againpPleasure in inflicting pain.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/slayer/slaves-to-my-torment-scream-to-your-heart-s-content-time-and-time/) [Slayer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/slayer/) > [Read from a distant star, the majuscule script of our earthly existence would perhaps lead to the conclusion that the earth was the distinctively…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/read-from-a-distant-star-the-majuscule-script-of-our-earthly/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [I believe all suffering is caused by ignorance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dalai-lama/i-believe-all-suffering-is-caused-by-ignorance/) [Dalai Lama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dalai-lama/) > [The vast majority of the race whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind at heart and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-twain/the-vast-majority-of-the-race-whether-savage-or-civilized-are/) [Mark Twain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-twain/) > [I cannot be with someone who takes pleasure in inflicting pain on me, someone who can't love me](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-cannot-be-with-someone-who-takes-pleasure-in-inflicting-pain-on-me/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“And that's just the beginning. More and more, conventional wisdom says that the responsible thing is to make the unemployed suffer. And while the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-krugman/and-that-s-just-the-beginning-more-and-more-conventional-wisdom-says/) [Paul Krugman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-krugman/) > [Which other major religion is based on the Godhead incarnate being whipped, tacked to a cross, stabbed? Only the Marquis de Sade could have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gore-vidal/which-other-major-religion-is-based-on-the-godhead-incarnate-being/) [Gore Vidal](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gore-vidal/) > [When anaesthetics were invented they were thought to be wicked as being an attempt to thwart God's will. Insanity was thought to be due…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/when-anaesthetics-were-invented-they-were-thought-to-be-wicked-as/) [Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/) > [Speaking psycho-analytically, it may be laid down that any "great ideal" which people mention with awe is really an excuse for inflicting pain on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bertrand-russell/speaking-psycho-analytically-it-may-be-laid-down-that-any-great-ideal/) [Bertrand Russell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bertrand-russell/) > [What I hated most was seeing those priests and brothers getting so much pleasure out of inflicting pain. I wondered what was wrong with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-carlin/what-i-hated-most-was-seeing-those-priests-and-brothers-getting-so/) [George Carlin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-carlin/) > [“It is also necessary in both public and private life to refrain consistently and empathically from inflicting pain. To act or speak violently out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karen-armstrong/it-is-also-necessary-in-both-public-and-private-life-to-refrain/) [Karen Armstrong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/karen-armstrong/) > [Unkind people imagine themselves to be inflicting pain on someone equally unkind.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcel-proust/unkind-people-imagine-themselves-to-be-inflicting-pain-on-someone/) [Marcel Proust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcel-proust/) > [“In 1984 the lust for power is satisfied by inflicting pain; in Brave New World, by inflicting a hardly less humiliating pleasure.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aldous-huxley/in-1984-the-lust-for-power-is-satisfied-by-inflicting-pain-in-brave/) [Aldous Huxley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aldous-huxley/) > [“Power is in inflicting pain and humiliation.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-orwell/power-is-in-inflicting-pain-and-humiliation/) [George Orwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-orwell/) [Browse all 17 Inflicting pain quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inflicting-pain/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“No, no, no. 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