--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It’s about gaining your trust and your…" description: "\"“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.”\" — E. L. James" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/131/e-l-james-2-17861_50-shades_it-s-about-gaining-your-trust-and-your-r_534953.jpg" --- # It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll… ![“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.” quote by E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/131/e-l-james-2-17861_50-shades_it-s-about-gaining-your-trust-and-your-r_534953.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/131/e-l-james-2-17861_50-shades_it-s-about-gaining-your-trust-and-your-r_534953.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/131/e-l-james-2-17861_50-shades_it-s-about-gaining-your-trust-and-your-r_534953.jpg) > ““It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.”” [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Manipulation masquerades as trust and respect, allowing one to dominate another. **In simple terms:** Trust can be used to control others. Key Takeaway Guard against manipulative relationships. Themes power dynamics trust manipulation relationships psychology Mood cautious reflective Type advisory psychological When to use this quote - dating - workplace hierarchy - friendship - family dynamics Key Concepts social influence coercive control emotional intelligence Questions to Reflect On - When have you felt trust was misused? - How can you build healthy, mutual respect? A Different Perspective Not all trust leads to domination; it can foster collaboration. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Respect](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/respect/) [Trust](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/trust/) ## Related quotes > [“So you’ll get your kicks by exerting your will over me.” “It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/so-you-ll-get-your-kicks-by-exerting-your-will-over-me-it-s-about/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [“So you'll let me exert my will over you. I will gain a great deal of pleasure, joy even, in your submission. The more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/so-you-ll-let-me-exert-my-will-over-you-i-will-gain-a-great-deal-of/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [I have a way of opening up people and gaining their trust. I think they can see my vulnerability because I'm unafraid to admit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/juergen-teller/i-have-a-way-of-opening-up-people-and-gaining-their-trust-i-think/) [Juergen Teller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/juergen-teller/) > [There is a way to touch the angels of the skies: Gaining the trust of birds!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/there-is-a-way-to-touch-the-angels-of-the-skies-gaining-the-trust-of/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [Gaining trust is like filling a bucket one drop at a time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-duncan/gaining-trust-is-like-filling-a-bucket-one-drop-at-a-time/) [Todd Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-duncan/) > [Gaining trust is not difficult for me. I needed to gain the trust of the North Korean supervisors.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/werner-herzog/gaining-trust-is-not-difficult-for-me-i-needed-to-gain-the-trust-of/) [Werner Herzog](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/werner-herzog/) > [Through the years I've learned to gain the trust of humans. I'm really good at gaining the trust of animals and I have developed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cesar-millan/through-the-years-i-ve-learned-to-gain-the-trust-of-humans-i-m-really/) [Cesar Millan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cesar-millan/) > [In my human-rights work, perhaps the most important thing is gaining the trust of the victims.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kerry-kennedy/in-my-human-rights-work-perhaps-the-most-important-thing-is-gaining/) [Kerry Kennedy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kerry-kennedy/) > [I've made many documentaries, but prostitution was the hardest in terms of gaining the trust of the people being filmed.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-glawogger/i-ve-made-many-documentaries-but-prostitution-was-the-hardest-in/) [Michael Glawogger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-glawogger/) > [Getting a woman's body and getting her heart are two different things. And gaining her trust is another problem entirely.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lora-leigh/getting-a-woman-s-body-and-getting-her-heart-are-two-different-things/) [Lora Leigh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lora-leigh/) > [People respect me; I respect them. I'll never change. I realize who I am.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-vick/people-respect-me-i-respect-them-i-ll-never-change-i-realize-who-i-am/) [Michael Vick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-vick/) > [The more respect you'll give, the more you'll achieve.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/senoraroy/the-more-respect-you-ll-give-the-more-you-ll-achieve/) Senoraroy > [“Earn my respect. And I'll give it to you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-kate/earn-my-respect-and-i-ll-give-it-to-you/) [Lauren Kate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-kate/) > [“If you respect yourself, you'll respect others; if you love yourself, you'll love others! You see, it all starts with you!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/if-you-respect-yourself-you-ll-respect-others-if-you-love-yourself/) [Mehmet Murat ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Show me respect, i’ll show it back That's the code of conduct.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dumbfoundead/show-me-respect-i-ll-show-it-back-that-s-the-code-of-conduct/) Dumbfoundead ## More by E. L. James > [I value my anonymity. I'm happy to come in on the tube or the train and watch other people reading 'Fifty Shades.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-value-my-anonymity-i-m-happy-to-come-in-on-the-tube-or-the-train/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [I do not look at the world in terms of black and white - and I find people who do rather scary. I think…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-do-not-look-at-the-world-in-terms-of-black-and-white-and-i-find/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [People are talking about sex. They're talking about sex with their husbands. They're talking about sex with their girlfriends. They're talking about sex with…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/people-are-talking-about-sex-they-re-talking-about-sex-with-their/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [ I don't think \[Fifty Shades of Grey is\] a model for anything. Except maybe in bed. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-don-t-think-fifty-shades-of-grey-is-a-model-for-anything-except/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [I've set the bar quite high in terms of storytelling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-ve-set-the-bar-quite-high-in-terms-of-storytelling/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [I really like clever men who challenge you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-really-like-clever-men-who-challenge-you/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [Language evolves and moves on. It is an organic thing. It is not stuck in an ivory tower, hung with expensive works of art.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/language-evolves-and-moves-on-it-is-an-organic-thing-it-is-not-stuck/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [Yes, I'm a 'Twi-hard.' I became obsessed. Absolutely obsessed. I didn't watch television, I didn't go to the cinema. My friends would ring and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/yes-i-m-a-twi-hard-i-became-obsessed-absolutely-obsessed-i-didn-t/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [Write for yourself. That's it. And write every day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/write-for-yourself-that-s-it-and-write-every-day/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [I'm not a great writer.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-m-not-a-great-writer/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [I don't watch much British television at all. I mean, it's ironic because I used to work in it for years.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/i-don-t-watch-much-british-television-at-all-i-mean-it-s-ironic/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [Men aren't really complicated. They are very simple, literal creatures. They usually mean what they say. And we spend hours trying to analyze what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/men-aren-t-really-complicated-they-are-very-simple-literal-creatures/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [All a writer wants is to be read, and people are so flattering and lovely. I mean, there are witches out there as well.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/all-a-writer-wants-is-to-be-read-and-people-are-so-flattering-and/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [“Follow your heart, darling, and please, please — try not to overthink things. Relax and enjoy yourself. You are so young, sweetheart. You have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/follow-your-heart-darling-and-please-please-try-not-to-overthink/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) > [Women basically want the same thing - a good passionate story, a great fantasy - and for our partners to do the laundry and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-2/women-basically-want-the-same-thing-a-good-passionate-story-a-great/) [E. L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) [Explore all 36 E. L. James quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-2/) ## More 50 shades quotes > [There is nothing gray about whether a follower of Christ should see 50 Shades of Grey. This is a black and white issue. Don’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kevin-deyoung/there-is-nothing-gray-about-whether-a-follower-of-christ-should-see/) [Kevin DeYoung](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kevin-deyoung/) > [I got thrown out of my local bookshop for moving the Caution - Wet Floor sign and placing it next to the Fifty Shades…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-got-thrown-out-of-my-local-bookshop-for-moving-the-caution-wet/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I don’t think I have the right parts to appreciate '50 Shades of Grey'.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-colfer/i-don-t-think-i-have-the-right-parts-to-appreciate-50-shades-of-grey/) [Chris Colfer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-colfer/) > [50 shades of dark circles under my eyes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chinier-bennett/50-shades-of-dark-circles-under-my-eyes/) [Chinier Bennett](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chinier-bennett/) > [Love comes in every color, but the fact is... I never needed 50 Shades of Grey, Just turn the lights down low and give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/phonte/love-comes-in-every-color-but-the-fact-is-i-never-needed-50-shades-of/) [Phonte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/phonte/) > [Just because everyone CAN publish a book these days, doesn't mean everyone SHOULD. The world doesn't need 1000 knock-offs of 50 Shades of Grey.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-gaspirtz/just-because-everyone-can-publish-a-book-these-days-doesn-t-mean/) [Oliver Gaspirtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-gaspirtz/) > [“50 shades of Christian Grey”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cupidgotmeinachokehold/50-shades-of-christian-grey/) CupidGotMeInAChokehold > [“There´s something about you and I´m finding it impossible to stay away”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james-3/there-s-something-about-you-and-i-m-finding-it-impossible-to-stay-away/) [E.L James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james-3/) > [Try asking sometime. Not all women will stand for that 50 Shades crap, you know.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-shalvis/try-asking-sometime-not-all-women-will-stand-for-that-50-shades-crap/) [Jill Shalvis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-shalvis/) > [Someone from the last flight left '50 Shades of Grey' in my seat. Gifts from heaven!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-bell-bundy/someone-from-the-last-flight-left-50-shades-of-grey-in-my-seat-gifts/) [Laura Bell Bundy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-bell-bundy/) > [The Academy Awards are passed out on Sunday. It's voted by members of the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences. Or as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-letterman/the-academy-awards-are-passed-out-on-sunday-it-s-voted-by-members-of/) [David Letterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-letterman/) > [50 Shades of I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THAT BOOK!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/50-shades-of-i-dont-give-a-fuck-about-that-book/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [“I am completely caught up in your spell...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/e-l-james/i-am-completely-caught-up-in-your-spell/) [E.L. James](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/e-l-james/) > [Just think how many books I could've sold if Harry had been a bit more creative with his wand." -\[On the success of 50…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/just-think-how-many-books-i-could-ve-sold-if-harry-had-been-a-bit/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“The Gigolo is what 50 Shades tried to be, but failed!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rocky-wyatt/the-gigolo-is-what-50-shades-tried-to-be-but-failed/) Rocky Wyatt Browse all 32 50 shades quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It’s about gaining your trust and your respect, so you’ll let me exert my will over you.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "E. L. 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