--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If I were money-motivated, I would spread…" description: "\"If I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies that marijuana is dangerous and addictive and leads to dancing with white women, that your chi..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae6/doug-stanhope-1528_ambitious_if-i-were-money-motivated-i-would-spread_2123709.png" --- # If I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies… ![“If I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies that marijuana is dangerous and addictive and leads to dancing with white women, that your children are at risk of riding that freight train straight into hell or an opium den. Then I'd parlay that fear into a chain of overpriced "rehab"…” quote by Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae6/doug-stanhope-1528_ambitious_if-i-were-money-motivated-i-would-spread_2123709.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae6/doug-stanhope-1528_ambitious_if-i-were-money-motivated-i-would-spread_2123709.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ae6/doug-stanhope-1528_ambitious_if-i-were-money-motivated-i-would-spread_2123709.png) > “If I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies that marijuana is dangerous and addictive and leads to dancing with white women, that your children are at risk of riding that freight train straight into hell or an opium den. Then I'd parlay that fear into a chain of overpriced "rehab" centers that can cure them and shake Satan from their souls. But I am not that ambitious. I am a drunk.” [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The narrator admits to being a drunk, exposing his own hypocrisy and lack of grand schemes. **In simple terms:** He confesses his drunkenness and lack of ambition. Key Takeaway Acknowledge personal flaws honestly. Themes self-awareness humor addiction hypocrisy social critique Mood cynical raw Type comedic satirical When to use this quote - personal confession - social commentary - addiction awareness - political satire Key Concepts self-deprecation satire Questions to Reflect On - Why do we use humor to discuss serious topics? - How does self-critique affect audience perception? A Different Perspective Humor may downplay serious issues like addiction. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Ambitious](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambitious/) [Children](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/children/) [Dancing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dancing/) [Drunk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/drunk/) [Fitness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fitness/) [Hell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/hell/) [Lying](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lying/) [Marijuana](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marijuana/) [Opium](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/opium/) [Risk](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/risk/) [Satan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/satan/) [Soul](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/soul/) [Train](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/train/) [Wine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/wine/) ## Related quotes > [We see the corrupt prison system, we see the corrupt police system, we see the corruption in the government, from the top on down.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tommy-chong/we-see-the-corrupt-prison-system-we-see-the-corrupt-police-system-we/) [Tommy Chong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tommy-chong/) > [Avoid any semblance of pornography. It is dangerous and addictive. If you continue to view pornography, your spirit will become desensitized and your conscience…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-s-monson/avoid-any-semblance-of-pornography-it-is-dangerous-and-addictive-if/) [Thomas S. Monson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-s-monson/) > [“BETHESDA, Maryland -From her perch as head of the National Institute on Drug Abuse, Nora Volkow watches anxiously as the country embarks on what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/bethesda-maryland-from-her-perch-as-head-of-the-national-institute-on/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Considering the fact that I've used it in the past, and know what it is, and seen the results of it, I don't view…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-robbins/considering-the-fact-that-i-ve-used-it-in-the-past-and-know-what-it/) [Tim Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-robbins/) > [And all I knew about drugs was what I read in magazines like Time and Life. I learned that marijuana was a dangerous addictive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kary-mullis/and-all-i-knew-about-drugs-was-what-i-read-in-magazines-like-time-and/) [Kary Mullis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kary-mullis/) > [Marijuana is a very dangerous drug. Some people smoke it just once and go directly into politics.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-crimmins/marijuana-is-a-very-dangerous-drug-some-people-smoke-it-just-once-and/) [Barry Crimmins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-crimmins/) > [Tobacco is the second most dangerous drug available to our culture. Number one is alcohol follow by many pharmacy pills. So no, marijuana is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-machat/tobacco-is-the-second-most-dangerous-drug-available-to-our-culture/) [Steven Machat](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-machat/) > [“The legalization of marijuana is not a dangerous experiment – the prohibition is the experiment, and it has failed dramatically, with millions of victims…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sebastian-marincolo/the-legalization-of-marijuana-is-not-a-dangerous-experiment-the/) [Sebastian Marincolo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sebastian-marincolo/) > [The AMA is urging the Federal Government not to classify marijuana as a dangerous drug and do more research. That's what they said. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conan-o-brien/the-ama-is-urging-the-federal-government-not-to-classify-marijuana-as/) [Conan O'Brien](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conan-o-brien/) > [As a physician I have sympathy for patients suffering from pain and other medical conditions. Although I understand many believe marijuana is the most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-frist/as-a-physician-i-have-sympathy-for-patients-suffering-from-pain-and/) [Bill Frist](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-frist/) > [Life was a freight train barreling toward just one stop, our loved ones streaking past our windows in blurs of color and light. There…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marisha-pessl/life-was-a-freight-train-barreling-toward-just-one-stop-our-loved/) [Marisha Pessl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marisha-pessl/) > [“Some politicians have a gift for language. Trump is not one of those politicians. His sentences call to mind an aerial shot of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katy-tur/some-politicians-have-a-gift-for-language-trump-is-not-one-of-those/) [Katy Tur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katy-tur/) > [There is a light at the end of the tunnel...hopefully it's not a freight train.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mariah-carey/there-is-a-light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel-hopefully-it-s-not-a/) [Mariah Carey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mariah-carey/) > [“All right. You want to know about Nigel. I’ll tell you about Nigel. He’s come a long way since that so-called accident, Jon. Heck,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shawn-corey/all-right-you-want-to-know-about-nigel-i-ll-tell-you-about-nigel-he-s/) Shawn Corey > [“George didn't do quiet or subtle. His big paws kicked up rocks as he stretched into his own version of a freight train.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lisa-kaniut-cobb/george-didn-t-do-quiet-or-subtle-his-big-paws-kicked-up-rocks-as-he/) [Lisa Kaniut Cobb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lisa-kaniut-cobb/) ## More by Doug Stanhope > [I had no musical or athletic ability, and I wasn't particularly good looking. Comedy was something I could do for attention.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-had-no-musical-or-athletic-ability-and-i-wasn-t-particularly-good/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [Jesus died for your sins. I'm doing it for your mere entertainment dollar.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/jesus-died-for-your-sins-i-m-doing-it-for-your-mere-entertainment/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [I believe that everyone should be treated as an individual. Women should be treated equally in the right to vote, sure. But if Im…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-believe-that-everyone-should-be-treated-as-an-individual-women/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [They say 'life is precious'. To who? To you, when you're young and you've got a few dollars in your pocket. Tell that to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/they-say-life-is-precious-to-who-to-you-when-you-re-young-and-you-ve/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [The ultimate act of cowardice is the fat-headed wrestling guy sitting behind the frail kid in math class, clipping him on the ear, saying:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/the-ultimate-act-of-cowardice-is-the-fat-headed-wrestling-guy-sitting/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [There's no such thing as addiction, there's only things that you enjoy doing more than life.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/there-s-no-such-thing-as-addiction-there-s-only-things-that-you-enjoy/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [ The whole acting and Hollywood \[thing\], it's just work to me. Stand-up comedy ruins you so badly for doing television. I don't really need… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/the-whole-acting-and-hollywood-thing-it-s-just-work-to-me-stand-up/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [You should laugh everywhere you can find even the slightest glimmer of humour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/you-should-laugh-everywhere-you-can-find-even-the-slightest-glimmer/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [I have no fear of death, except I hate waiting for it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/i-have-no-fear-of-death-except-i-hate-waiting-for-it/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [Everybody's angry. They've got nothing to be angry at, so they're angry about nothing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/everybody-s-angry-they-ve-got-nothing-to-be-angry-at-so-they-re-angry/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [People who want to kill other people are the last people I want to party with, because I get mouthy when I drink.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/people-who-want-to-kill-other-people-are-the-last-people-i-want-to/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [Democracy is the worst kind of government, I'm sorry. Would you still call yourself a Christian if they elected a new Jesus every four…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/democracy-is-the-worst-kind-of-government-i-m-sorry-would-you-still/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [You forget, when you're in the Scandinavian countries, you forget they don't speak English first and they speak better than I do.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/you-forget-when-you-re-in-the-scandinavian-countries-you-forget-they/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [Life's temporary for a reason, it gets boring after awhile.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/life-s-temporary-for-a-reason-it-gets-boring-after-awhile/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) > [The more business gets involved, the less fun it is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doug-stanhope/the-more-business-gets-involved-the-less-fun-it-is/) [Doug Stanhope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) [Explore all 230 Doug Stanhope quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doug-stanhope/) ## More Ambitious quotes > [I'm hungry and ambitious.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julen-lopetegui/i-m-hungry-and-ambitious/) [Julen Lopetegui](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julen-lopetegui/) > [I want my squad to be confident, ambitious. They have to believe in big things and we have to set targets internally.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-howe/i-want-my-squad-to-be-confident-ambitious-they-have-to-believe-in-big/) [Eddie Howe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-howe/) > [I almost never have a plan for myself... I'm not ambitious in that way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/martha-plimpton/i-almost-never-have-a-plan-for-myself-i-m-not-ambitious-in-that-way/) [Martha Plimpton](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/martha-plimpton/) > [“Getting rich is easy, staying rich is impressive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-trip/getting-rich-is-easy-staying-rich-is-impressive/) [Don Trip](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-trip/) > [Trying to be perfect may be inevitable for people who are smart and ambitious and interested in the world and its good opinion...What is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-quindlen/trying-to-be-perfect-may-be-inevitable-for-people-who-are-smart-and/) [Anna Quindlen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-quindlen/) > [Business is always a struggle. There are always obstacles and competitors. There is never an open road, except the wide road that leads to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-kirubi/business-is-always-a-struggle-there-are-always-obstacles-and/) Chris Kirubi > [I am ambitious to do more than what has been offered me. I want to be the best in whatever career I choose and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/uday-chopra/i-am-ambitious-to-do-more-than-what-has-been-offered-me-i-want-to-be/) [Uday Chopra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/uday-chopra/) > [There are four varieties in society — the lovers, the ambitious, observers, and fools. The fools are the happiest.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hippolyte-taine/there-are-four-varieties-in-society-the-lovers-the-ambitious/) [Hippolyte Taine](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hippolyte-taine/) > [People who are ambitious - politicians who crave power - think that they're in control of it, but at some point, the movement that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ken-liu/people-who-are-ambitious-politicians-who-crave-power-think-that-they/) [Ken Liu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ken-liu/) > [I'm not ambitious. Not a bit.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/indira-gandhi/i-m-not-ambitious-not-a-bit/) [Indira Gandhi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/indira-gandhi/) > [Aggressive and hard-charging women violate unwritten rules about acceptable social conduct. Men are continually applauded for being ambitious and powerful and successful, but women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sheryl-sandberg/aggressive-and-hard-charging-women-violate-unwritten-rules-about/) [Sheryl Sandberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sheryl-sandberg/) > [I understood early on that I was not the best-looking girl in the room. But I knew my advantage was a hard work ethic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-o-connor/i-understood-early-on-that-i-was-not-the-best-looking-girl-in-the/) [Erin O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-o-connor/) > [It is ordained that to the ambitious, who derive no satisfaction from the gifts of life and the beauty of the world, life shall…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leonardo-da-vinci/it-is-ordained-that-to-the-ambitious-who-derive-no-satisfaction-from/) [Leonardo da Vinci](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leonardo-da-vinci/) > [If Reagan and John Paul II were linked by anything, it was a grand, ambitious, and generous idea of Western political civilization, one in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-applebaum/if-reagan-and-john-paul-ii-were-linked-by-anything-it-was-a-grand/) [Anne Applebaum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-applebaum/) > [To talk only about national security, national defense, means to be selfish, ambitious. It is discrimination, isolation. "It is just me. What do I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evo-morales/to-talk-only-about-national-security-national-defense-means-to-be/) [Evo Morales](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evo-morales/) [Browse all 1,269 Ambitious quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ambitious/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "If I were money-motivated, I would spread insidious lies that marijuana is dangerous and addictive and leads to dancing with white women, that your children are at risk of riding that freight train straight into hell or an opium den. Then I'd parlay that fear into a chain of overpriced \"rehab\" centers that can cure them and shake Satan from their souls. But I am not that ambitious. 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