--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: You can't be a Red if you're married to a…" description: "\"You can't be a Red if you're married to a civil servant.\" — Doris Lessing" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e6/doris-lessing-501_civil_you-can-t-be-a-red-if-you-re-married-to_1962510.png" --- # You can't be a Red if you're married to a civil servant. ![“You can't be a Red if you're married to a civil servant.” quote by Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e6/doris-lessing-501_civil_you-can-t-be-a-red-if-you-re-married-to_1962510.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e6/doris-lessing-501_civil_you-can-t-be-a-red-if-you-re-married-to_1962510.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1e6/doris-lessing-501_civil_you-can-t-be-a-red-if-you-re-married-to_1962510.png) > “You can't be a Red if you're married to a civil servant.” [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote humorously suggests that personal identity or affiliation can be constrained by one's marital ties, especially when those ties involve a bureaucratic profession. **In simple terms:** Marriage can limit personal freedoms or identities. Key Takeaway Consider how relationships shape your self‑image. Themes identity marriage politics social roles Mood wry critical reflective Type satirical social commentary When to use this quote - career decisions - political activism - personal branding - social expectations Key Concepts individualism conformity bureaucracy Questions to Reflect On - How does your partner's profession influence your choices? - Can you maintain individuality within a marriage? A Different Perspective The statement may oversimplify complex personal dynamics and ignore agency. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Red](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/red/) [Servant](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/servant/) ## Related quotes > [It's ludicrous that my friends in California aren't able to legally get married. It's a civil rights issue. In 20 years we're going to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/busy-philipps/it-s-ludicrous-that-my-friends-in-california-aren-t-able-to-legally/) [Busy Philipps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/busy-philipps/) > [My dad was a civil servant, and my mum was a secretary.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/julia-davis/my-dad-was-a-civil-servant-and-my-mum-was-a-secretary/) [Julia Davis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/julia-davis/) > [As a civil servant in charge of the government's Strategy Unit, I brought in many people from outside government, including academia and science, to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geoff-mulgan/as-a-civil-servant-in-charge-of-the-government-s-strategy-unit-i/) [Geoff Mulgan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geoff-mulgan/) > [It's the most rewarding thing to be a civil servant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sargent-shriver/it-s-the-most-rewarding-thing-to-be-a-civil-servant/) [Sargent Shriver](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sargent-shriver/) > [I don't want to be married. I'm very happy with a civil partnership. If gay people want to get married, or get together, they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elton-john/i-don-t-want-to-be-married-i-m-very-happy-with-a-civil-partnership-if/) [Elton John](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elton-john/) > [When I was 19, I thought I wanted to be an English civil servant. It was the most exotic thing at the time -…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/colm-toibin/when-i-was-19-i-thought-i-wanted-to-be-an-english-civil-servant-it/) [Colm Toibin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/colm-toibin/) > [A civil servant doesn't make jokes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eug-ne-ionesco/a-civil-servant-doesn-t-make-jokes/) [Eugene Ionesco](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eug-ne-ionesco/) > [A president is a high-level official who is elected to carry out a function. He is not a king, not a god. He is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-mujica/a-president-is-a-high-level-official-who-is-elected-to-carry-out-a/) [Jose Mujica](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jose-mujica/) > [It is essential for men of science to take an interest in the administration of their own affairs or else the professional civil servant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-rutherford/it-is-essential-for-men-of-science-to-take-an-interest-in-the/) [Ernest Rutherford](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-rutherford/) > [I'm a statistic in a system that a civil servant dominates.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/billy-joel/i-m-a-statistic-in-a-system-that-a-civil-servant-dominates/) [Billy Joel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/billy-joel/) > [I mean, really, compared to a senior civil servant, I'm very modestly paid!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-starkey/i-mean-really-compared-to-a-senior-civil-servant-i-m-very-modestly/) [David Starkey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-starkey/) > [There are very many characteristics which go into making a model civil servant. Prominent among them are probity, industry, good sense, good habits, good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chester-a-arthur/there-are-very-many-characteristics-which-go-into-making-a-model/) [Chester A. Arthur](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chester-a-arthur/) > [In a mature society, 'civil servant' is semantically equal to 'civil master.'](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-a-heinlein/in-a-mature-society-civil-servant-is-semantically-equal-to-civil/) [Robert A. Heinlein](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-a-heinlein/) > [Give a civil servant a good case and he'll wreck it with clichés, bad punctuation, double negatives, and convoluted apology.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-clark/give-a-civil-servant-a-good-case-and-he-ll-wreck-it-with-clich-s-bad/) [Alan Clark](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-clark/) > [Civil servants take forever to do anything.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-wambaugh/civil-servants-take-forever-to-do-anything/) [Joseph Wambaugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-wambaugh/) ## More by Doris Lessing > [Some books are not read in the right way because they have skipped a stage of opinion, assume a crystallization of information in society…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/some-books-are-not-read-in-the-right-way-because-they-have-skipped-a/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [“In the morning, when she wishes me to wake, she crouches on my chest, and pats my face with her paw. Or, if I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/in-the-morning-when-she-wishes-me-to-wake-she-crouches-on-my-chest/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [You know, whenever women make imaginary female kingdoms in literature, they are always very permissive, to use the jargon word, and easy and generous…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/you-know-whenever-women-make-imaginary-female-kingdoms-in-literature/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [There is only one real sin and that is to persuade oneself that the second best is anything but second best.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/there-is-only-one-real-sin-and-that-is-to-persuade-oneself-that-the/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [“She was using the water as she had used the fruit earlier—to calm herself, to assure herself of the possibility of normality. 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I've been much happier unmarried than married.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/i-do-not-think-that-marriage-is-one-of-my-talents-i-ve-been-much/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [I haven't got the energy to write now.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/i-haven-t-got-the-energy-to-write-now/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [What really fascinates me is this need that is so strong now that if you read a work of the imagination you instantly have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/what-really-fascinates-me-is-this-need-that-is-so-strong-now-that-if/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [“The charge that the United Nations are using bacteriological warfare in Korea cannot be dismissed merely because it would be insane.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/the-charge-that-the-united-nations-are-using-bacteriological-warfare/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [What I did have, which others perhaps didn't, was a capacity for sticking at it, which really is the point, not the talent at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/what-i-did-have-which-others-perhaps-didn-t-was-a-capacity-for/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [The human community is evolving... . We can survive anything you care to mention. We are supremely equipped to survive, to adapt and even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/the-human-community-is-evolving-we-can-survive-anything-you-care-to/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) > [So love is rest? The cosy corner? The little nook? Sometimes it ought to be. Sometimes it is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doris-lessing/so-love-is-rest-the-cosy-corner-the-little-nook-sometimes-it-ought-to/) [Doris Lessing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) [Explore all 508 Doris Lessing quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doris-lessing/) ## More Civil quotes > [Using a broad brushstroke, I think Libertarian - most of America are socially accepting and fiscally responsible. I'm in that category. 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