--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Only here’s what I really, really want…" description: "\"“Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the he..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e7/donna-tartt-391_better-person_only-here-s-what-i-really-really-want-so_1819296.jpg" --- # Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain… ![“Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic…” quote by Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e7/donna-tartt-391_better-person_only-here-s-what-i-really-really-want-so_1819296.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e7/donna-tartt-391_better-person_only-here-s-what-i-really-really-want-so_1819296.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9e7/donna-tartt-391_better-person_only-here-s-what-i-really-really-want-so_1819296.jpg) > ““Only here’s what I really, really want someone to explain to me. What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic responsibility and strong social connections and all the blandly-held common virtues and instead straight towards a beautiful flare of ruin, self-immolation, disaster? Is Kitsey right? If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? Or—like Boris—is it better to throw yourself head first and laughing into the holy rage calling your name?”” [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The quote wrestles with the tension between following a destructive, charismatic inner drive and adhering to societal expectations of stability and responsibility. **In simple terms:** Choosing between a dangerous passion and a safe, conventional life. Key Takeaway Weigh personal desire against long‑term wellbeing. Themes identity desire conformity risk self‑destruction Mood conflicted introspective Type philosophical literary When to use this quote - career decisions - relationships - mental health - creative pursuits - spiritual crises Key Concepts existentialism psychology morality Questions to Reflect On - What truly defines a fulfilling life? - Can passion be channeled constructively? A Different Perspective The allure of self‑destruction can be romanticized, ignoring real harm. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Better person](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/better-person/) [Civic responsibility](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/civic-responsibility/) [York Times](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/york-times/) ## Related quotes > [What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/what-if-one-happens-to-be-possessed-of-a-heart-that-can-t-be-trusted/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“…We don't get to choose our own hearts. We can't make ourselves want what's good for us or what's good for other people. We…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tartt-donna/we-don-t-get-to-choose-our-own-hearts-we-can-t-make-ourselves-want/) [Tartt Donna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tartt-donna/) > [“From William Blake to Lady Gaga, from Rousseau to Rumi to Tosca to Mister Rogers, it’s a curiously uniform message, accepted from high to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/from-william-blake-to-lady-gaga-from-rousseau-to-rumi-to-tosca-to/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“What if one happens to be possessed of a heart that can’t be trusted—? What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/what-if-one-happens-to-be-possessed-of-a-heart-that-can-t-be-trusted-2/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“What if the heart, for its own unfathomable reasons, leads one willfully and in a cloud of unspeakable radiance away from health, domesticity, civic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/what-if-the-heart-for-its-own-unfathomable-reasons-leads-one/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“Because--isn't it drilled into us constantly, from childhood on, an unquestioned platitude in the culture--? From William Blake to Lady Gaga, from Rousseau to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/because-isn-t-it-drilled-into-us-constantly-from-childhood-on-an/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“I look at the blanked-out faces of the other passengers--hoisting their briefcases, their backpacks, shuffling to disembark--and I think of what Hobie said: beauty…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/i-look-at-the-blanked-out-faces-of-the-other-passengers-hoisting-2/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [No more meekly saying 'yes' When my heart is screaming 'no' No more taming of my feelings So my power wont show No more…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nate/no-more-meekly-saying-yes-when-my-heart-is-screaming-no-no-more/) [Nate](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nate/) > [You know that you're in love when you freeze up for the first time in your life--my feet were frozen to the elevator floor,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/you-know-that-you-re-in-love-when-you-freeze-up-for-the-first-time-in/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [It is exhausting to manage a smile always,when your heart is screaming from inside.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taher-shakir/it-is-exhausting-to-manage-a-smile-always-when-your-heart-is/) Taher Shakir > [Is not a woman's heart unfathomable?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jules-verne/is-not-a-woman-s-heart-unfathomable/) [Jules Verne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jules-verne/) > [I have possessed that heart, that noble soul, in whose presence I seemed to be more than I really was, because I was all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/i-have-possessed-that-heart-that-noble-soul-in-whose-presence-i/) [Johann Wolfgang von Goethe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/johann-wolfgang-von-goethe/) > [“Like our bodies and our desires, the machines we have devised are possessed of a heart which is slowly reduced to embers. From the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/w-g-sebald-2/like-our-bodies-and-our-desires-the-machines-we-have-devised-are/) [W.G. Sebald](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/w-g-sebald-2/) > [Like our bodies and like our desires, the machines we have devised are possessed of a heart which is slowly reduced to embers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/like-our-bodies-and-like-our-desires-the-machines-we-have-devised-are/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [You trusted someone with your heart, they broke it and gave it back to you in pieces, don't let being hurt keep you broken,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rashida-rowe/you-trusted-someone-with-your-heart-they-broke-it-and-gave-it-back-to/) [Rashida Rowe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rashida-rowe/) ## More by Donna Tartt > [I hope we're all ready to leave the phenomenal world, and enter into the sublime?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/i-hope-we-re-all-ready-to-leave-the-phenomenal-world-and-enter-into/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-i-add-my-own-love-to-the-history-of-people-who-have-loved/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [And the flavor of Pippa's kiss--bittersweet and strange--stayed with me all the way back uptown, swaying and sleepy as I sailed home on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-the-flavor-of-pippa-s-kiss-bittersweet-and-strange-stayed-with-me/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“The world won't come to me...so I must go to it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/the-world-won-t-come-to-me-so-i-must-go-to-it/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [There's an expectation these days that novels - like any other consumer product - should be made on a production line, with one dropping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/there-s-an-expectation-these-days-that-novels-like-any-other-consumer/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“A month or two before, I would have been appalled at the idea of any murder at all. But that Sunday afternoon, as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/a-month-or-two-before-i-would-have-been-appalled-at-the-idea-of-any/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [Well, I think storytellers have always found murder a fascinating device.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/well-i-think-storytellers-have-always-found-murder-a-fascinating/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [Always remember, the person we’re really working for is the person who’s restoring the piece a hundred years from now. He’s the one we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/always-remember-the-person-we-re-really-working-for-is-the-person-who/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“The silence between us was happy and strange, connected by the cord and the icy voices thinly echoing. “You don’t have to talk,” she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/the-silence-between-us-was-happy-and-strange-connected-by-the-cord/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from all the world, that no one and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/it-is-a-terrible-thing-to-learn-as-a-child-that-one-is-a-being/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“You didn’t meet many people who moved freely through the world with such a vigorous contempt for it and at the same time such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/you-didn-t-meet-many-people-who-moved-freely-through-the-world-with/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“maybe that’s what’s waiting for us at the end of the journey, a majesty unimaginable until the very moment we find ourselves walking through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/maybe-that-s-what-s-waiting-for-us-at-the-end-of-the-journey-a/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“lights and moods and seasons was to see it a thousand different ways and to keep it shut in the dark—a thing made of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/lights-and-moods-and-seasons-was-to-see-it-a-thousand-different-ways/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don’t get to choose our own hearts. We can’t make ourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/a-great-sorrow-and-one-that-i-am-only-beginning-to-understand-we-don/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) > [“Upon meeting Julian Morrow, one has the impression that he is a man of extraordinary sympathy and warmth. But what you call his 'Asiatic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/upon-meeting-julian-morrow-one-has-the-impression-that-he-is-a-man-of/) [Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) [Explore all 590 Donna Tartt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/) ## More Better person quotes > [“Claiming to be offended is a great way to elevate yourself at the expense of others: “Look at me! 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They keep their loving and honesty growing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-bradley/a-real-good-artist-learns-to-be-a-better-person-through-all-the/) [Charles Bradley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-bradley/) > [I wasn't paid a dime for my track career. But participating in the Olympics gave me the opportunity to learn about different cultures; it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wyomia-tyus/i-wasn-t-paid-a-dime-for-my-track-career-but-participating-in-the/) Wyomia Tyus > [I'm a better person when I'm preparing for a role, when I'm studying a role.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/val-kilmer/i-m-a-better-person-when-i-m-preparing-for-a-role-when-i-m-studying-a/) [Val Kilmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/val-kilmer/) > [I found myself thinking a lot about my own spirituality. 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If your deepest self is singing and coaxing you straight toward the bonfire, is it better to turn away? Stop your ears with wax? Ignore all the perverse glory your heart is screaming at you? Set yourself on the course that will lead you dutifully towards the norm, reasonable hours and regular medical check-ups, stable relationships and steady career advancement, the New York Times and brunch on Sunday, all with the promise of being somehow a better person? 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