---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: And, increasingly, I find myself fixing…"
description: "\"“And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to pull back. Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no ..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg"
---

#  And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to…

![“And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to pull back. Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade me that life is some awesome, rewarding treat. Because, here’s the truth: life is catastrophe. The basic…” quote by Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg)

> ““And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to pull back. Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade me that life is some awesome, rewarding treat. Because, here’s the truth: life is catastrophe. The basic fact of existence—of walking around trying to feed ourselves and find friends and whatever else we do—is catastrophe. Forget all this ridiculous ‘Our Town’ nonsense everyone talks: the miracle of a newborn babe, the joy of one simple blossom, Life You Are Too Wonderful To Grasp, &amp;c. For me—and I’ll keep repeating it doggedly till I die, till I fall over on my ungrateful nihilistic face and am too weak to say it: better never born, than born into this cesspool. Sinkhole of hospital beds, coffins, and broken hearts. No release, no appeal, no “do-overs” to employ a favored phrase of Xandra’s, no way forward but age and loss, and no way out but death.””

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The speaker rejects optimistic narratives, asserting that life is fundamentally catastrophic and filled with suffering, arguing that any positive framing is a denial of harsh reality.

**In simple terms:** Life is seen as disaster, not a gift.

Key Takeaway

Accept the bleak view and confront suffering.

Themes

nihilism existentialism despair reality critique

Mood

despair critical introspective

Type

philosophical critical

When to use this quote

- personal crisis
- mental health
- literary analysis
- philosophical debate

Key Concepts

philosophy psychology social commentary

Questions to Reflect On

- What evidence contradicts this view?
- How can one find meaning amid catastrophe?

A Different Perspective

The perspective may ignore moments of genuine joy or resilience that many experience.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Broken hearts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/broken-hearts/) [Catastrophe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/catastrophe/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Way forward](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/way-forward/)

## Related quotes

> [“And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to pull back. Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on-that-refusal-to-pull-back/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/because-i-don-t-care-what-anyone-says-or-how-often-or-winningly-they/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/because-i-don-t-care-what-anyone-says-or-how-often-or-winningly-they-2/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade me…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/i-don-t-care-what-anyone-says-or-how-often-or-winningly-they-say-it/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“So you think your life has become a catastrophe Oh, but it has to be for you to grow, boy.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/supertramp/so-you-think-your-life-has-become-a-catastrophe-oh-but-it-has-to-be/)

Supertramp

> [“Does it feel that your life’s become a catastrophe? Oh, it has to be for you to grow, boy. —“Take the Long Way Home,”…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/diana-welch/does-it-feel-that-your-life-s-become-a-catastrophe-oh-it-has-to-be/)

Diana Welch

> [“In all the books love is one of the great facts that mould human life. But it is a catastrophe: it happens suddenly and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/virginia-woolf/in-all-the-books-love-is-one-of-the-great-facts-that-mould-human-life/)

[Virginia Woolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/virginia-woolf/)

> [“…Life is catastrophe…Everything is unfair. Who do we complain to in this shitty place?…We all lose everything that matters in the end…it's possible to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tartt-donna/life-is-catastrophe-everything-is-unfair-who-do-we-complain-to-in/)

[Tartt Donna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tartt-donna/)

> [My life had become a catastrophe. I had no idea how to turn it around. My band had broken up. I had almost lost…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/trey-anastasio/my-life-had-become-a-catastrophe-i-had-no-idea-how-to-turn-it-around/)

[Trey Anastasio](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/trey-anastasio/)

> [I firmly believe the way forward for our nation is to have a robust democracy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohit-chauhan/i-firmly-believe-the-way-forward-for-our-nation-is-to-have-a-robust/)

[Mohit Chauhan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohit-chauhan/)

> [“Alberta was back again. Back to it all, to all that was warped and desultory, to the lies and evasions and small, hidden irons…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cora-sandel/alberta-was-back-again-back-to-it-all-to-all-that-was-warped-and/)

[Cora Sandel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cora-sandel/)

> [Sin bins are the way forward if we want to turn the tide on discipline in football.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robbie-savage/sin-bins-are-the-way-forward-if-we-want-to-turn-the-tide-on/)

[Robbie Savage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robbie-savage/)

> [Time stops for no one. The Sun 'sets' in one place and 'rises' in another. Th clock moves only one way: forward.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/time-stops-for-no-one-the-sun-sets-in-one-place-and-rises-in-another/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [I'm a fan of supersymmetry, largely because it seems to be the only route by which gravity can be brought into the scheme. It's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-higgs/i-m-a-fan-of-supersymmetry-largely-because-it-seems-to-be-the-only/)

[Peter Higgs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-higgs/)

> [When you hang the 'bipartisan' tag on something, the perception is that differences have been worked out, and there's a broad agreement that that's…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-mcconnell/when-you-hang-the-bipartisan-tag-on-something-the-perception-is-that/)

[Mitch McConnell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-mcconnell/)

## More by Donna Tartt

> [I hope we're all ready to leave the phenomenal world, and enter into the sublime?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/i-hope-we-re-all-ready-to-leave-the-phenomenal-world-and-enter-into/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [And I add my own love to the history of people who have loved beautiful things, and looked out for them, and pulled them…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-i-add-my-own-love-to-the-history-of-people-who-have-loved/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [And the flavor of Pippa's kiss--bittersweet and strange--stayed with me all the way back uptown, swaying and sleepy as I sailed home on the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-the-flavor-of-pippa-s-kiss-bittersweet-and-strange-stayed-with-me/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“The world won't come to me...so I must go to it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/the-world-won-t-come-to-me-so-i-must-go-to-it/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [There's an expectation these days that novels - like any other consumer product - should be made on a production line, with one dropping…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/there-s-an-expectation-these-days-that-novels-like-any-other-consumer/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“A month or two before, I would have been appalled at the idea of any murder at all. But that Sunday afternoon, as I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/a-month-or-two-before-i-would-have-been-appalled-at-the-idea-of-any/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [Well, I think storytellers have always found murder a fascinating device.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/well-i-think-storytellers-have-always-found-murder-a-fascinating/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [Always remember, the person we’re really working for is the person who’s restoring the piece a hundred years from now. He’s the one we…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/always-remember-the-person-we-re-really-working-for-is-the-person-who/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“The silence between us was happy and strange, connected by the cord and the icy voices thinly echoing. “You don’t have to talk,” she…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/the-silence-between-us-was-happy-and-strange-connected-by-the-cord/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“It is a terrible thing to learn as a child that one is a being separate from all the world, that no one and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/it-is-a-terrible-thing-to-learn-as-a-child-that-one-is-a-being/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“You didn’t meet many people who moved freely through the world with such a vigorous contempt for it and at the same time such…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/you-didn-t-meet-many-people-who-moved-freely-through-the-world-with/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“maybe that’s what’s waiting for us at the end of the journey, a majesty unimaginable until the very moment we find ourselves walking through…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/maybe-that-s-what-s-waiting-for-us-at-the-end-of-the-journey-a/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“lights and moods and seasons was to see it a thousand different ways and to keep it shut in the dark—a thing made of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/lights-and-moods-and-seasons-was-to-see-it-a-thousand-different-ways/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [A great sorrow, and one that I am only beginning to understand: we don’t get to choose our own hearts. We can’t make ourselves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/a-great-sorrow-and-one-that-i-am-only-beginning-to-understand-we-don/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

> [“Upon meeting Julian Morrow, one has the impression that he is a man of extraordinary sympathy and warmth. But what you call his 'Asiatic…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/upon-meeting-julian-morrow-one-has-the-impression-that-he-is-a-man-of/)

[Donna Tartt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

[Explore all 590 Donna Tartt quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/)

## More Broken hearts quotes

> [When the time comes for you to give your heart to someone, make sure that you select someone who will never break your heart.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-the-time-comes-for-you-to-give-your-heart-to-someone-make-sure/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [The only person I truly cared for left me with a broken heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/keys/the-only-person-i-truly-cared-for-left-me-with-a-broken-heart/)

[Keys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/keys/)

> [If only we can all be thankful for the blessed days that grant us life If only we can make new relationships Rather than…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/if-only-we-can-all-be-thankful-for-the-blessed-days-that-grant-us/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving, hysterical, naked... who passed through universities with radiant cool eyes hallucinating Arkansas…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/allen-ginsberg/i-saw-the-best-minds-of-my-generation-destroyed-by-madness-starving/)

[Allen Ginsberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/allen-ginsberg/)

> [Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/broken-hearts-are-for-assholes-are-you-an-asshole/)

[Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/)

> [ “…\[F\]or the Lovers the place of worship Is the arch of the Beloved’s eyebrows. O Morning breeze, if you perchance Should find where my… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amir-khusrow-dehlavi/f-or-the-lovers-the-place-of-worship-is-the-arch-of-the-beloved-s/)

Amir Khusrow Dehlavi

> [“But when he died, I saw - nothing. There was nothing left to see. It happened and it was impossible and beautiful and then…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-ockler/but-when-he-died-i-saw-nothing-there-was-nothing-left-to-see-it/)

[Sarah Ockler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-ockler/)

> [“We sometimes see God better through out tears and broken hearts. What seems hopeless becomes blessing and miracles...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dwight-robertson/we-sometimes-see-god-better-through-out-tears-and-broken-hearts-what/)

Dwight Robertson

> [Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again because bruised knees heels faster then broken hearts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/babloo/sometimes-i-wish-i-was-a-little-girl-again-because-bruised-knees/)

[Babloo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/babloo/)

> [“Sometimes I wish I was a little girl again because cuts heal faster then broken hearts”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/angel-johnson/sometimes-i-wish-i-was-a-little-girl-again-because-cuts-heal-faster/)

Angel Johnson

> [Sometimes I Wish I was A Little Kid Again ,... Skinned Knees Are Better than Broken Hearts :)](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karal/sometimes-i-wish-i-was-a-little-kid-again-skinned-knees-are-better/)

Karal

> [“I fix broken hearts for a living,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raven-rivers/i-fix-broken-hearts-for-a-living/)

Raven Rivers

> [I really just wish I was a kid again...no bills, no worries, no broken hearts, happy life and always smiling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shafique-ahmed/i-really-just-wish-i-was-a-kid-again-no-bills-no-worries-no-broken/)

[Shafique Ahmed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shafique-ahmed/)

> [I'm not the only kid who grew up this way, surrounded by people who used to say that rhyme about sticks and stones, as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shane-koyczan/i-m-not-the-only-kid-who-grew-up-this-way-surrounded-by-people-who/)

[Shane Koyczan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shane-koyczan/)

> [I had a nervous breakdown at 17 when my first love left me, and he was a typical bad boy, albeit a charismatic one,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-leavitt/i-had-a-nervous-breakdown-at-17-when-my-first-love-left-me-and-he-was/)

[Caroline Leavitt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-leavitt/)

[Browse all 343 Broken hearts quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/broken-hearts/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to pull back. Because I don’t care what anyone says or how often or winningly they say it: no one will ever, ever be able to persuade me that life is some awesome, rewarding treat. Because, here’s the truth: life is catastrophe. The basic fact of existence—of walking around trying to feed ourselves and find friends and whatever else we do—is catastrophe. Forget all this ridiculous ‘Our Town’ nonsense everyone talks: the miracle of a newborn babe, the joy of one simple blossom, Life You Are Too Wonderful To Grasp, &c. For me—and I’ll keep repeating it doggedly till I die, till I fall over on my ungrateful nihilistic face and am too weak to say it: better never born, than born into this cesspool. Sinkhole of hospital beds, coffins, and broken hearts. No release, no appeal, no “do-overs” to employ a favored phrase of Xandra’s, no way forward but age and loss, and no way out but death.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Donna Tartt"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on-that-refusal-to-pull-back-2/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Broken hearts"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on-that-refusal-to-pull-back-2/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1bc/donna-tartt-391_broken-hearts_and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on_3125413.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“And, increasingly, I find myself fixing on that refusal to pull back. Because I don’t care what anyone says…” — Donna Tartt",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Donna Tartt",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-tartt/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“And, increasingly, I find myself fixing...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on-that-refusal-to-pull-back-2/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-tartt/and-increasingly-i-find-myself-fixing-on-that-refusal-to-pull-back-2/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
