--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Some people manage to perfect the…" description: "\"“Some people manage to perfect the disappearing act well into adulthood. I went out with a girl once, years ago, who would disappear whenever there was..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/donald-miller-607_disappear_some-people-manage-to-perfect-the-disapp_1940468.jpg" --- # Some people manage to perfect the disappearing act well… ![“Some people manage to perfect the disappearing act well into adulthood. I went out with a girl once, years ago, who would disappear whenever there was conflict. Anytime there was tension she’d just go missing, and when I’d run into her again, or when I’d go over to her house to see what was going…” quote by Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/donald-miller-607_disappear_some-people-manage-to-perfect-the-disapp_1940468.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/donald-miller-607_disappear_some-people-manage-to-perfect-the-disapp_1940468.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/e70/donald-miller-607_disappear_some-people-manage-to-perfect-the-disapp_1940468.jpg) > ““Some people manage to perfect the disappearing act well into adulthood. I went out with a girl once, years ago, who would disappear whenever there was conflict. Anytime there was tension she’d just go missing, and when I’d run into her again, or when I’d go over to her house to see what was going on, she’d be all chipper and act like everything was fine. Finally, one night when she was able to be vulnerable, she explained whenever she felt like she’d messed up she could close off that part of her mind and feel an inner peace that was completely disconnected from reality. She drove everybody else crazy because she couldn’t resolve conflict, yet inside the false world of her mind everything was calm. And as crazy as it sounds, I understood her. I think she was doing the same thing I had done in junior high. She was climbing inside herself and going invisible. My invisibility act worked great for years. But then I found something better.”” [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Avoiding conflict by mentally disconnecting creates a false peace that hinders personal growth. **In simple terms:** Escaping conflict harms real development. Key Takeaway Face conflicts directly to grow. Themes psychology conflict resolution self‑awareness Mood reflective empathetic Type self‑help narrative When to use this quote - relationships - personal development - therapy Key Concepts defense mechanisms emotional avoidance Questions to Reflect On - What conflicts are you avoiding? - How might confronting them change you? A Different Perspective Denial can lead to deeper isolation and unresolved issues. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Disappear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappear/) [Disappear Conflict](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappear-conflict-1222208/) [Disappearing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappearing/) [Disappearing Act](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappearing-act-838006/) [Doing The Same Thing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/doing-the-same-thing/) [Going Invisible](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/going-invisible-3088701/) [Inner peace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inner-peace/) [Junior high](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/junior-high/) [Psychology](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/psychology/) [War](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/war/) [Years ago](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/years-ago/) ## Related quotes > [I'm just wondering where my time went, it pulled a disappearing act and every single assistant I ever had got sawed in half.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sage-francis/i-m-just-wondering-where-my-time-went-it-pulled-a-disappearing-act/) [Sage Francis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sage-francis/) > [One of my friends who writes novels says that once the book is published, it's a separate thing from you; it becomes its own.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jill-talbot/one-of-my-friends-who-writes-novels-says-that-once-the-book-is/) [Jill Talbot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jill-talbot/) > [Disappearing act? That's a magic trick, isn't it? I like magic tricks!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kate-bush/disappearing-act-that-s-a-magic-trick-isn-t-it-i-like-magic-tricks/) [Kate Bush](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kate-bush/) > [“How many times can you pull off the same disappearing act?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cnn/how-many-times-can-you-pull-off-the-same-disappearing-act/) [Cnn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cnn/) > [The thought of flight has melted me, I am less solid than liquid, then I'm going up and going invisible like steam.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elizabeth-knox/the-thought-of-flight-has-melted-me-i-am-less-solid-than-liquid-then/) [Elizabeth Knox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elizabeth-knox/) > [I do think there will be a better understanding between the two sides - East and West. And eventually, the so-called two sides will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/xiaolu-guo/i-do-think-there-will-be-a-better-understanding-between-the-two-sides/) [Xiaolu Guo](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/xiaolu-guo/) > [“...no matter how beneficial a disappearing act might be for me, I could never tear myself away from a show in progress. Even when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/josh-kilmer-purcell/no-matter-how-beneficial-a-disappearing-act-might-be-for-me-i-could/) [Josh Kilmer-Purcell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/josh-kilmer-purcell/) > [Disappearing controversial words and works doesn't make us smarter.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-katharine-ham/disappearing-controversial-words-and-works-doesn-t-make-us-smarter/) [Mary Katharine Ham](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-katharine-ham/) > [“I felt like I was sort of disappearing. It was that kind of a crazy afternoon, terrifically cold, and no sun out or anything,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/j-d-salinger/i-felt-like-i-was-sort-of-disappearing-it-was-that-kind-of-a-crazy/) [J.D. Salinger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/j-d-salinger/) > [“If some essential part of me was already disappearing as my children moved into increasingly wider orbits, well then, I wanted to rech out…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/katrina-kenison/if-some-essential-part-of-me-was-already-disappearing-as-my-children/) [Katrina Kenison](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/katrina-kenison/) > [“Life is a race against disappearing time”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/life-is-a-race-against-disappearing-time/) [Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/) > [“Those moments aren't ours any more. They're shut up in a box, buried at the back of a cupboard, out of reach. They're frozen…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/delphine-de-vigan/those-moments-aren-t-ours-any-more-they-re-shut-up-in-a-box-buried-at/) [Delphine de Vigan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/delphine-de-vigan/) > [We live in a moment of history where change is so speeded up that we begin to see the present only when it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/r-d-laing/we-live-in-a-moment-of-history-where-change-is-so-speeded-up-that-we/) [R. D. Laing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/r-d-laing/) > [When I heard that the bees were in trouble, the fact that they're disappearing and not coming back to the hive, which is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louie-schwartzberg/when-i-heard-that-the-bees-were-in-trouble-the-fact-that-they-re/) [Louie Schwartzberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louie-schwartzberg/) > [“I am disappearing, maybe I'm already gone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-niven/i-am-disappearing-maybe-i-m-already-gone/) [Jennifer Niven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-niven/) ## More by Donald Miller > [There's no authoritarian structure at Reed College, but the education is conservative. So what you have is a lot of students who are very…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/there-s-no-authoritarian-structure-at-reed-college-but-the-education/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [I think each of us can, through our writing, discover our super power](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/i-think-each-of-us-can-through-our-writing-discover-our-super-power/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [If you don't feel free and be yourself, you can't connect. Find people who accept your quirks. They'll heal your soul.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/if-you-don-t-feel-free-and-be-yourself-you-can-t-connect-find-people/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [And so I have come to understand that strength, inner strength, comes from receiving love as much as it comes from giving it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/and-so-i-have-come-to-understand-that-strength-inner-strength-comes/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [“Humans, as a species, are constantly, and in every way, comparing themselves to one another, which, given the brief nature of their existence, seems…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/humans-as-a-species-are-constantly-and-in-every-way-comparing/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [“alone, lonely, and loneliness are three of the most powerful words in the English language... 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It was given to you by God.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/don-t-let-go-of-your-strength-or-your-beauty-it-was-given-to-you-by/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [There's a lot of letters, and a lot of people come say "hi" at book signings, but I'm amazed at how normal everybody is.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/there-s-a-lot-of-letters-and-a-lot-of-people-come-say-hi-at-book/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [I am something of a recluse by nature. I am that cordless screwdriver that has to charge for twenty hours to earn ten minutes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/i-am-something-of-a-recluse-by-nature-i-am-that-cordless-screwdriver/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [The most important thing that happens within Christian spirituality is when a person falls in love with Jesus.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/the-most-important-thing-that-happens-within-christian-spirituality/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [Every day you live is a page. Every year, a chapter. Your life, a book. What is it about?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/every-day-you-live-is-a-page-every-year-a-chapter-your-life-a-book/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) > [“And that’s the first time I realized that the idea a character is what he does makes as much sense in life as it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donald-miller/and-that-s-the-first-time-i-realized-that-the-idea-a-character-is/) [Donald Miller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) [Explore all 448 Donald Miller quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donald-miller/) ## More Disappear quotes > [What sets worlds in motion is the interplay of differences, their attractions and repulsions. Life is plurality, death is uniformity. By suppressing differences and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/octavio-paz/what-sets-worlds-in-motion-is-the-interplay-of-differences-their/) [Octavio Paz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/octavio-paz/) > [I'm at the edge of the world, Where do I go from here? Do I disappear? Edge of the world, Should I sink or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bring-me-the-horizon/i-m-at-the-edge-of-the-world-where-do-i-go-from-here-do-i-disappear/) [Bring Me The Horizon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bring-me-the-horizon/) > [Nothing old is ever reborn but neither does it totally disappear. And that which has once been born, will always reappear in a new…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alvar-aalto/nothing-old-is-ever-reborn-but-neither-does-it-totally-disappear-and/) [Alvar Aalto](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alvar-aalto/) > [I even see the cinema itself as a woman, with its alternation of light and darkness, of appearing and disappearing images](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/federico-fellini/i-even-see-the-cinema-itself-as-a-woman-with-its-alternation-of-light/) [Federico Fellini](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/federico-fellini/) > [I guess he'll have to figure out someday that he is supposed to have this dark side, that it is part of what it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anne-lamott/i-guess-he-ll-have-to-figure-out-someday-that-he-is-supposed-to-have/) [Anne Lamott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anne-lamott/) > [Pain results from a judgment you have made about a thing. Remove the judgment and the pain disappears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neale-donald-walsch/pain-results-from-a-judgment-you-have-made-about-a-thing-remove-the/) [Neale Donald Walsch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neale-donald-walsch/) > [“I am disappearing, maybe I'm already gone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jennifer-niven/i-am-disappearing-maybe-i-m-already-gone/) [Jennifer Niven](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jennifer-niven/) > [“Must a people disappear for us to know they exist? Mano Dayak”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mano-dayak/must-a-people-disappear-for-us-to-know-they-exist-mano-dayak/) [Mano Dayak](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mano-dayak/) > [When I step into the batters box. The fans, the noise, the cheers, they all disappear. For that moment, the world is just a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-wollstonecraft-shelley/when-i-step-into-the-batters-box-the-fans-the-noise-the-cheers-they/) [Mary Wollstonecraft Shelley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-wollstonecraft-shelley/) > [I am sympathetic to developing countries’ concerns: because of our emissions it’s their crops that will disappear; because of our inaction, it’s their fields…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-f-kerry/i-am-sympathetic-to-developing-countries-concerns-because-of-our/) [John F. Kerry](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-f-kerry/) > [Although I don't have anything against people from other countries, the higher the influx into England the more the British identity disappears.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/although-i-don-t-have-anything-against-people-from-other-countries/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [I don't like magic - but I have been known to make guys disappear.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mr-t/i-don-t-like-magic-but-i-have-been-known-to-make-guys-disappear/) [Mr. T](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mr-t/) > [It is almost impossible to overestimate the value of true humility and its power in the spiritual life. 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But once I actually have a guitar in my hands, I think I disappear…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-orcutt/i-definitely-have-a-different-perspective-on-music-in-general-but/) [Bill Orcutt](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-orcutt/) [Browse all 2,209 Disappear quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappear/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Some people manage to perfect the disappearing act well into adulthood. I went out with a girl once, years ago, who would disappear whenever there was conflict. Anytime there was tension she’d just go missing, and when I’d run into her again, or when I’d go over to her house to see what was going on, she’d be all chipper and act like everything was fine. Finally, one night when she was able to be vulnerable, she explained whenever she felt like she’d messed up she could close off that part of her mind and feel an inner peace that was completely disconnected from reality. 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