---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: ... the socialization of boys regarding…"
description: "\"... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that we don't raise boys to be men, we raise th..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg"
---

#  ... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is…

![“... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that we don't raise boys to be men, we raise them not be women (or gay men). We teach boys that girls and women are &quot;less than&quot; and that leads to violence by some and silence by many. It's…” quote by Don McPherson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg)

> “... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that we don't raise boys to be men, we raise them not be women (or gay men). We teach boys that girls and women are "less than" and that leads to violence by some and silence by many. It's important for men to stand up to not only stop men's violence against women but, to teach young men a broader definition of masculinity that includes being empathetic, loving and non-violent.”

Don McPherson

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

The quote argues that traditional masculinity is taught at the expense of women, fostering violence and silence, and calls for a broader, empathetic definition of manhood.

**In simple terms:** Boys are taught to devalue women, leading to harm; we need kinder masculinity.

Key Takeaway

Promote empathy and non‑violence in male upbringing.

Themes

gender masculinity violence empathy socialization

Mood

concerned hopeful determined

Type

advice call to action social critique

When to use this quote

- education
- parenting
- youth programs
- community workshops

Key Concepts

patriarchy toxic masculinity gender norms

Questions to Reflect On

- How can schools reshape gender expectations?
- What role can media play in redefining masculinity?

A Different Perspective

Changing deep‑rooted cultural norms is slow and faces resistance.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Boys](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/boys/) [Gay](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gay/) [Gay men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gay-men/) [Girl](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/girl/) [Masculinity](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/masculinity/) [Men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/men/) [Non violent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/non-violent/) [Silence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/silence/) [Socialization](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/socialization/) [Stop violence against women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/stop-violence-against-women/) [Violence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violence/) [Violence against women](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violence-against-women/) [Violent](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/violent/) [Young men](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/young-men/)

## Related quotes

> [I came to realize that we don’t raise boys to be men, we raise them not to be women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/i-came-to-realize-that-we-don-t-raise-boys-to-be-men-we-raise-them/)

Don McPherson

> [Masculinity varies from time to time and place to place. But it doesn't exist just in the mind of a single guy: it is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-pittman/masculinity-varies-from-time-to-time-and-place-to-place-but-it-doesn/)

[Frank Pittman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-pittman/)

> [I am quite content to come home and go to Farming, be a select Man, and owe no Man any Thing but good Will.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-adams/i-am-quite-content-to-come-home-and-go-to-farming-be-a-select-man-and/)

[John Adams](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-adams/)

> [We have to teach our boys the rules of equality and respect, so that as they grow up gender equality becomes a natural way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/beyonce-knowles/we-have-to-teach-our-boys-the-rules-of-equality-and-respect-so-that/)

[Beyonce Knowles](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/beyonce-knowles/)

> [Now, what I want is Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/now-what-i-want-is-facts-teach-these-boys-and-girls-nothing-but-facts-2/)

[Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/)

> [“Now, what I want is Facts. Teach these boys and girls nothing but Facts. Facts alone are wanted in life. Plant nothing else, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-dickens/now-what-i-want-is-facts-teach-these-boys-and-girls-nothing-but-facts/)

[Charles Dickens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-dickens/)

> [We need to teach boys to respect girls.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/urvashi-rautela/we-need-to-teach-boys-to-respect-girls/)

[Urvashi Rautela](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/urvashi-rautela/)

> [Let's teach boys at school the personally and economically valuable skills of self-expression and emotional intelligence, of mediation and problem-solving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/naomi-alderman/let-s-teach-boys-at-school-the-personally-and-economically-valuable/)

[Naomi Alderman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/naomi-alderman/)

> [We teach boys to be such men as we are. We do not teach them to aspire to be all they can. We do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/we-teach-boys-to-be-such-men-as-we-are-we-do-not-teach-them-to-aspire/)

[Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/)

> [“He'd wanted us to be more like boys, and now we were. You don't teach boys to be charming. It makes people think they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/he-d-wanted-us-to-be-more-like-boys-and-now-we-were-you-don-t-teach/)

[Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/)

> [I really wanted to raise my boys in a place where 'celebrity' wasn't important, and where I could be closer to where I grew…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lauren-holly/i-really-wanted-to-raise-my-boys-in-a-place-where-celebrity-wasn-t/)

[Lauren Holly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lauren-holly/)

> [There's so much testosterone when you raise three boys, so much energy ... I don't think as a parent you're meant to control them,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raine-maida/there-s-so-much-testosterone-when-you-raise-three-boys-so-much-energy/)

[Raine Maida](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raine-maida/)

> [I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-romney/i-made-a-choice-to-stay-home-and-raise-five-boys-believe-me-it-was/)

[Ann Romney](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-romney/)

> [Here's to all the Real men out there.. . Boys play house. Men build homes!!! Boys shack up. Men get married!!! Boys make babies.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ms-paradeez/here-s-to-all-the-real-men-out-there-boys-play-house-men-build-homes/)

Ms Paradeez

> [“You're not allowed to raise boys who reject all things feminine, then get upset when they become men who hate women.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darnell-lamont-walker/you-re-not-allowed-to-raise-boys-who-reject-all-things-feminine-then/)

[Darnell Lamont Walker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darnell-lamont-walker/)

## More by Don McPherson

> [I came to realize that we don’t raise boys to be men, we raise them not to be women.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/i-came-to-realize-that-we-don-t-raise-boys-to-be-men-we-raise-them/)

Don McPherson

> [True prevention is not waiting for bad things to happen, it's preventing things from happening in the first place.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/true-prevention-is-not-waiting-for-bad-things-to-happen-it-s/)

Don McPherson

Explore all 3 Don McPherson quotes

## More Be a man quotes

> [But if you will recall the history of our civil troubles, you will see half the nation bathe itself, out of piety, in the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denis-diderot/but-if-you-will-recall-the-history-of-our-civil-troubles-you-will-see/)

[Denis Diderot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denis-diderot/)

> [I closed my own jazz bar so I could be a man who can write novels as I like. I was pleased about that.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/haruki-murakami/i-closed-my-own-jazz-bar-so-i-could-be-a-man-who-can-write-novels-as/)

[Haruki Murakami](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/haruki-murakami/)

> [Just leaving the brotherhood I have made at Georgia, the staff and all my coaches. They've prepared me for the real world. I'm really…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/a-j-green/just-leaving-the-brotherhood-i-have-made-at-georgia-the-staff-and-all/)

[A. J. Green](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/a-j-green/)

> [Biggest man law - be a man. Simple: be a man, definition of being a man is being a man. And don't let your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-griffin/biggest-man-law-be-a-man-simple-be-a-man-definition-of-being-a-man-is/)

[Eddie Griffin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-griffin/)

> [I think transwomen, and transpeople in general, show everyone that you can define what it means to be a man or woman on your…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laverne-cox/i-think-transwomen-and-transpeople-in-general-show-everyone-that-you/)

[Laverne Cox](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laverne-cox/)

> [Feminist theory has left an indelible mark on my own critical—and creative—thinking . . . For me, everything I questioned about what it meant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/todd-haynes/feminist-theory-has-left-an-indelible-mark-on-my-own-critical-and/)

[Todd Haynes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/todd-haynes/)

> [Men will cease to be fools only when they cease to be men.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/democritus/men-will-cease-to-be-fools-only-when-they-cease-to-be-men/)

[Democritus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/democritus/)

> [My friends, let us try to follow the Saviour's steps; let us remember all day long what it is to be men; that it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/charles-kingsley/my-friends-let-us-try-to-follow-the-saviour-s-steps-let-us-remember/)

[Charles Kingsley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/charles-kingsley/)

> [Losing my dad made me more mature. Being an only child, I didn't have the right to act childish. I had to step up.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zaza-pachulia/losing-my-dad-made-me-more-mature-being-an-only-child-i-didn-t-have/)

[Zaza Pachulia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zaza-pachulia/)

> [In spite of their obvious differences, folk art and popular art have much in common; they are easy to understand, they are romantic, patriotic,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gilbert-seldes/in-spite-of-their-obvious-differences-folk-art-and-popular-art-have/)

[Gilbert Seldes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gilbert-seldes/)

> [I want to be a man's man-not a kid actor or a glitzy pop star but a no-bullshit leading man.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/scott-eastwood/i-want-to-be-a-man-s-man-not-a-kid-actor-or-a-glitzy-pop-star-but-a/)

[Scott Eastwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/scott-eastwood/)

> [I have decided to make a personal message to David Haye. I want him to fight me, to be a man. I wish there…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wladimir-klitschko/i-have-decided-to-make-a-personal-message-to-david-haye-i-want-him-to/)

[Wladimir Klitschko](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wladimir-klitschko/)

> [All are to be men of genius in their degree,--rivulets or rivers, it does not matter, so that the souls be clear and pure;…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-ruskin/all-are-to-be-men-of-genius-in-their-degree-rivulets-or-rivers-it/)

[John Ruskin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-ruskin/)

> [I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-shakespeare/i-cannot-be-a-man-with-wishing-therefore-i-will-die-a-woman-with/)

[William Shakespeare](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-shakespeare/)

> [I don't think anyone can teach you how to be a man but a woman. You only learn by learning what they need.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-gosling/i-don-t-think-anyone-can-teach-you-how-to-be-a-man-but-a-woman-you/)

[Ryan Gosling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-gosling/)

Browse all 402 Be a man quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that we don't raise boys to be men, we raise them not be women (or gay men). We teach boys that girls and women are \"less than\" and that leads to violence by some and silence by many. It's important for men to stand up to not only stop men's violence against women but, to teach young men a broader definition of masculinity that includes being empathetic, loving and non-violent.",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "Don McPherson"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masculinity-is-often-at-the/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Be a man"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masculinity-is-often-at-the/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/405/don-mcpherson-76669_be-a-man_the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masc_1914881.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“... the socialization of boys regarding masculinity is often at the expense of women. I came to realize that…” — Don McPherson",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "Don McPherson",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/don-mcpherson/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "... the socialization of boys regarding...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masculinity-is-often-at-the/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/don-mcpherson/the-socialization-of-boys-regarding-masculinity-is-often-at-the/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
