--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: To have loved and lost, either by that…" description: "\"To have loved and lost, either by that total disenchantment which leaves compassion as the sole substitute for love which can exist no more, or by the ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg" --- # To have loved and lost, either by that total… ![“To have loved and lost, either by that total disenchantment which leaves compassion as the sole substitute for love which can exist no more, or by the slow torment which is obliged to let go day by day all that constitutes the diviner part of love - namely, reverence, belief, and trust, yet clings…” quote by Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg) > “To have loved and lost, either by that total disenchantment which leaves compassion as the sole substitute for love which can exist no more, or by the slow torment which is obliged to let go day by day all that constitutes the diviner part of love - namely, reverence, belief, and trust, yet clings desperately to the only thing left it, a long-suffering apologetic tenderness - this lot is probably the hardest any woman can have to bear.” [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Loss of love can lead to deep disenchantment, leaving only compassion and a lingering, painful tenderness. **In simple terms:** Love loss leaves compassion and lingering tenderness. Key Takeaway Embrace compassion, acknowledge lingering pain. Themes love loss compassion grief womanhood emotional resilience Mood melancholic reflective empathetic Type literary emotional philosophical When to use this quote - personal heartbreak - long‑term mourning - emotional healing - support groups - creative writing Key Concepts attachment theory existential sorrow psychology of grief Questions to Reflect On - What does compassion replace when love is lost? - How can one honor lingering tenderness without clinging? A Different Perspective Compassion may not fully replace love’s depth. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Apologetic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apologetic/) [Bears](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/bears/) [Belief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/belief/) [Compassion](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/compassion/) [Day by day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/day-by-day/) [Disenchantment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disenchantment/) [Letting go](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/letting-go/) [Long suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/long-suffering/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Loved and lost](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/loved-and-lost/) [Reverence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reverence/) [Suffering](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/suffering/) [Tenderness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/tenderness/) [Torment](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/torment/) ## Related quotes > [Sometimes no matter how much belief and trust you put in a person, you might still wake up one day and realize it was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nishan-panwar/sometimes-no-matter-how-much-belief-and-trust-you-put-in-a-person-you/) [Nishan Panwar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nishan-panwar/) > [Belief and trust in the power of the Cosmos gives even the most chaotic life a new sense of order and purpose.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/noel-edmonds/belief-and-trust-in-the-power-of-the-cosmos-gives-even-the-most/) [Noel Edmonds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/noel-edmonds/) > [“Belief and trust, twined together, can meet any danger.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dean-koontz/belief-and-trust-twined-together-can-meet-any-danger/) [Dean Koontz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dean-koontz/) > [For me, Unai deserves a lot of credit for the belief and trust he put in a lot of us. He is a good…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bukayo-saka/for-me-unai-deserves-a-lot-of-credit-for-the-belief-and-trust-he-put/) [Bukayo Saka](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bukayo-saka/) > [We consult astrology charts like the Babylonians, try to make our children into our own image with a firm hand like the Romans, elbow…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ernest-becker/we-consult-astrology-charts-like-the-babylonians-try-to-make-our/) [Ernest Becker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ernest-becker/) > [Who cares! IS THIS WORLD CHANGE, OR CONTINUE TO SOME AGE¦ WHO CARES The Earth is big enough for carrying us, But no one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/fad-ibra/who-cares-is-this-world-change-or-continue-to-some-age-who-cares-the/) [Fad Ibra](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/fad-ibra/) > [A real relationship is having complete faith, belief, and trust in each other irrespective of the time and situation.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anurag-prakash-ray/a-real-relationship-is-having-complete-faith-belief-and-trust-in-each/) [Anurag Prakash Ray](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anurag-prakash-ray/) > [“I realised one day not so long ago, that I believe in many things, but that I do not trust any of them. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-joybell-c/i-realised-one-day-not-so-long-ago-that-i-believe-in-many-things-but/) [C. JoyBell C](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/c-joybell-c/) > [A blaze first pleases and then tires the sight.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/a-blaze-first-pleases-and-then-tires-the-sight/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [“It dropped so low in my regard I heard it hit the ground, And go to pieces on the stones At bottom of my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emily-dickinson/it-dropped-so-low-in-my-regard-i-heard-it-hit-the-ground-and-go-to/) [Emily Dickinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emily-dickinson/) > [I suppose there's something to be said for the sheer reinforcement of our beliefs, but really I think poetry is more useful as disenchantment…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-hass/i-suppose-there-s-something-to-be-said-for-the-sheer-reinforcement-of/) [Robert Hass](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-hass/) > [“The young woman had read a good many novels, and she had seen a good many films; this education by newspaper, serial and film…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maurice-renard/the-young-woman-had-read-a-good-many-novels-and-she-had-seen-a-good/) [Maurice Renard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maurice-renard/) > [“Discovering that one is loved in return really ought to disenchant the lover with the beloved. 'What? this person is modest enough to love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/friedrich-nietzsche/discovering-that-one-is-loved-in-return-really-ought-to-disenchant/) [Friedrich Nietzsche](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/friedrich-nietzsche/) > [She felt the abyss of disenchantment.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gabriel-garc-a-m-rquez/she-felt-the-abyss-of-disenchantment/) [Gabriel Garcia Marquez](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gabriel-garc-a-m-rquez/) > [Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/max-ehrmann/neither-be-cynical-about-love-for-in-the-face-of-all-aridity/) [Max Ehrmann](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/max-ehrmann/) ## More by Dinah Maria Murlock Craik > [A lost love. Deny it who will, ridicule it, treat it as mere imagination and sentiment, the thing is and will be; and women…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/a-lost-love-deny-it-who-will-ridicule-it-treat-it-as-mere-imagination/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [Let every one of us cultivate, in every word that issues from our mouth, absolute truth. I say cultivate, because to very few people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/let-every-one-of-us-cultivate-in-every-word-that-issues-from-our/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [It is not the smallest use to try to make people good, unless you try at the same time - and they feel that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/it-is-not-the-smallest-use-to-try-to-make-people-good-unless-you-try/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [We expect too much from our children. We exact from them a perfection which we are far from carrying out in ourselves; we require…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/we-expect-too-much-from-our-children-we-exact-from-them-a-perfection/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [Happiness is not an end - it is only a means, and adjunct, a consequence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/happiness-is-not-an-end-it-is-only-a-means-and-adjunct-a-consequence/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [The life of action is nobler than the life of thought.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/the-life-of-action-is-nobler-than-the-life-of-thought/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [God rest ye, little children; let nothing you afright, For Jesus Christ, your Saviour, was born this happy night; Along the hills of Galilee…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/god-rest-ye-little-children-let-nothing-you-afright-for-jesus-christ/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [O, the mulberry-tree is of trees the queen! Bare long after the rest are green; But as the time steals onwards, while none perceives…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/o-the-mulberry-tree-is-of-trees-the-queen-bare-long-after-the-rest/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [It is the Christmas time: And up and down 'twixt heaven and earth, In glorious grief and solemn mirth, The shining angels climb.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/it-is-the-christmas-time-and-up-and-down-twixt-heaven-and-earth-in/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [It is not work that kills, but "worry."](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/it-is-not-work-that-kills-but-worry/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [A secret at home is like rocks under tide.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/a-secret-at-home-is-like-rocks-under-tide/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [There are no judgments so harsh as those of the erring, the inexperienced, and the young.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/there-are-no-judgments-so-harsh-as-those-of-the-erring-the/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [Nothing but a speck we seem In the waste of waters round, Floating, floating like a dream, Outward bound.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/nothing-but-a-speck-we-seem-in-the-waste-of-waters-round-floating/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [It is a curious truth - and yet a truth forced upon us by daily observation - that it is not the women who…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/it-is-a-curious-truth-and-yet-a-truth-forced-upon-us-by-daily/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) > [About the greatest virtue a friend can have, is to be able to hold her tongue; and through this, like all virtues carried to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/about-the-greatest-virtue-a-friend-can-have-is-to-be-able-to-hold-her/) [Dinah Maria Murlock Craik](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) [Explore all 101 Dinah Maria Murlock Craik quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/) ## More Apologetic quotes > [If writing with a goal - whether it be evangelistic, apologetic, or didactic - implies propaganda, then all recorded history is propaganda. . .…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paul-copan/if-writing-with-a-goal-whether-it-be-evangelistic-apologetic-or/) [Paul Copan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paul-copan/) > [In the New Testament alone there are Gospels, acts, epistles, and an apocalypse. Gospels contain literary forms like miracles, parables, pronouncements, proverbs, farewell discourses,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/craig-blomberg/in-the-new-testament-alone-there-are-gospels-acts-epistles-and-an/) [Craig Blomberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/craig-blomberg/) > [We preach sermons, write books on apologetics, conduct city-wide evangelistic campaigns. For those alienated from the church, that approach no longer has the same…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-yancey/we-preach-sermons-write-books-on-apologetics-conduct-city-wide/) [Philip Yancey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-yancey/) > [The purpose of apologetics is not just to win an argument or a discussion, but that people with whom we are in contact may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francis-schaeffer/the-purpose-of-apologetics-is-not-just-to-win-an-argument-or-a/) [Francis Schaeffer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francis-schaeffer/) > [I'm a single-issue voter, to get straight to the point. I'm really only interested in the candidate who's toughest and least apologetic when it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/christopher-hitchens/i-m-a-single-issue-voter-to-get-straight-to-the-point-i-m-really-only/) [Christopher Hitchens](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/christopher-hitchens/) > [Writing is a vocation and, as in any other calling, a writer should develop his talents for the greater glory of God. Novels should…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/piers-paul-read/writing-is-a-vocation-and-as-in-any-other-calling-a-writer-should/) Piers Paul Read > [... and yet he could also be very charming, in a bookish, infinitely apologetic way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/paula-mclain/and-yet-he-could-also-be-very-charming-in-a-bookish-infinitely/) [Paula McLain](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/paula-mclain/) > [When I started playing in bands, we had to be apologetic for what we did. We had to be apologetic because the mainstream was…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jack-antonoff/when-i-started-playing-in-bands-we-had-to-be-apologetic-for-what-we/) [Jack Antonoff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jack-antonoff/) > [“The snow lay thin and apologetic over the world.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-cooper/the-snow-lay-thin-and-apologetic-over-the-world/) [Susan Cooper](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-cooper/) > [In a post-modern culture we need an apologetic that is felt and seen because if post-moderns are not feeling it, they are not believing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ravi-zacharias/in-a-post-modern-culture-we-need-an-apologetic-that-is-felt-and-seen/) [Ravi Zacharias](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ravi-zacharias/) > [I'm apologetic when I feel like I've made a mistake. And when I have done a disservice to myself or someone else. But I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-rice/i-m-apologetic-when-i-feel-like-i-ve-made-a-mistake-and-when-i-have/) [Susan Rice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-rice/) > [I know I'm an overachiever, and I'm not apologetic about it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyra-banks/i-know-i-m-an-overachiever-and-i-m-not-apologetic-about-it/) [Tyra Banks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyra-banks/) > [Apologetics has an important place in the local church as we seek to influence our communities for Christ in an increasingly skeptical culture.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lee-strobel/apologetics-has-an-important-place-in-the-local-church-as-we-seek-to/) [Lee Strobel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lee-strobel/) > [If you don't feel apologetic for slavery, if you don't feel apologetic for colonialism, if you feel proud of it then say that.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jesse-jackson/if-you-don-t-feel-apologetic-for-slavery-if-you-don-t-feel-apologetic/) [Jesse Jackson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jesse-jackson/) > [Most apologetic books are really written for Christians, even the ones that purport to be written for non-believers.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/timothy-keller/most-apologetic-books-are-really-written-for-christians-even-the-ones/) [Timothy Keller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/timothy-keller/) [Browse all 127 Apologetic quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/apologetic/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "To have loved and lost, either by that total disenchantment which leaves compassion as the sole substitute for love which can exist no more, or by the slow torment which is obliged to let go day by day all that constitutes the diviner part of love - namely, reverence, belief, and trust, yet clings desperately to the only thing left it, a long-suffering apologetic tenderness - this lot is probably the hardest any woman can have to bear.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Dinah Maria Murlock Craik" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-total-disenchantment-which/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Apologetic" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-total-disenchantment-which/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/08d/dinah-maria-murlock-craik-5329_apologetic_to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-to_3079009.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“To have loved and lost, either by that total disenchantment which leaves compassion as the sole substitute…” — Dinah Maria Murlock Craik", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Dinah Maria Murlock Craik", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "To have loved and lost, either...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-total-disenchantment-which/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dinah-maria-murlock-craik/to-have-loved-and-lost-either-by-that-total-disenchantment-which/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```