--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: A number of terrible things about falling…" description: "\"“A number of terrible things about falling in love make it not worth the time and the effort. But the worst of these is that we can never truly fall in..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad7/dexter-palmer-19267_fall-in-love_a-number-of-terrible-things-about-fallin_81132.jpg" --- # A number of terrible things about falling in love make it… ![“A number of terrible things about falling in love make it not worth the time and the effort. But the worst of these is that we can never truly fall in love with a person, but only what we think that person is - more precisely, we fall in love with an image of a person that we create in our minds…” quote by Dexter Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad7/dexter-palmer-19267_fall-in-love_a-number-of-terrible-things-about-fallin_81132.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad7/dexter-palmer-19267_fall-in-love_a-number-of-terrible-things-about-fallin_81132.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/ad7/dexter-palmer-19267_fall-in-love_a-number-of-terrible-things-about-fallin_81132.jpg) > ““A number of terrible things about falling in love make it not worth the time and the effort. But the worst of these is that we can never truly fall in love with a person, but only what we think that person is - more precisely, we fall in love with an image of a person that we create in our minds based on a few inconsequential traits: hair color; bloodline; timbre of voice; preference in music or literature. We are so quick to make a judgment on first sight, and it is so easy for us to decide that the object of our love is unquestionably perfect. And while people can only be human at best, these same fallible humans are more than capable of imagining each other to be infallible gods. Any relationship we have with another human being is an ongoing process of error correction, altering this image that we see in our mind's eye whenever we lay love-blinded eyes on our beloved. It changes bit by bit until it matches the beloved herself, who is invariably less than perfect, often unworthy of love, and often incapable of giving love. This is why any extended interpersonal relationship other than the most superficial, be it a friendship, a romance, or a tie between father and daughter, must by necessity involve disappointment and pain. When the woman you worship behaves as a human being eventually will, she does not merely disappoint; she commits sacrilege, as if the God we worship were to somehow damn Himself.”” [Dexter Palmer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dexter-palmer/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love often idealizes partners based on superficial traits, leading to inevitable disappointment when reality diverges from the imagined perfection. **In simple terms:** Idealization vs. reality in love Key Takeaway We love images, not people Themes Perception Idealization Disappointment Human imperfection Relationship dynamics Mood melancholic reflective cautious Type philosophical cautionary observational When to use this quote - Romantic courtship - Friendship deepening - Parent‑child bond - Long‑term partnership - First impressions Key Concepts Cognitive bias Projection Emotional expectation Self-deception Practical Applications - Therapeutic counseling for couples - Self‑reflection exercises on expectations Questions to Reflect On - How can we recognize and adjust our idealized images? - What practices help sustain love beyond first impressions? A Different Perspective Some argue that love can deepen beyond initial images, allowing authentic connection despite imperfections. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Fall in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/fall-in-love/) [Falling in love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/falling-in-love/) [Father And Daughter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/father-and-daughter-2/) [First sight](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/first-sight/) [Giving love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/giving-love/) [Interpersonal relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/interpersonal-relationship/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Romance](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/romance/) ## Related quotes > [Relationship between human beings is based on the image-forming, defensive mechanism. 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