--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Once you have been able to forgive, the…" description: "\"“Once you have been able to forgive, the final step is to either renew or release the relationship you have with the one who has harmed you. Indeed, ev..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05f/desmond-tutu-442_forgiveness_once-you-have-been-able-to-forgive-the-f_1005469.jpg" --- # Once you have been able to forgive, the final step is to… ![“Once you have been able to forgive, the final step is to either renew or release the relationship you have with the one who has harmed you. Indeed, even if you never speak to the person again, even if you never see them again, even if they are dead, they live on in ways that affect your life…” quote by Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05f/desmond-tutu-442_forgiveness_once-you-have-been-able-to-forgive-the-f_1005469.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05f/desmond-tutu-442_forgiveness_once-you-have-been-able-to-forgive-the-f_1005469.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/05f/desmond-tutu-442_forgiveness_once-you-have-been-able-to-forgive-the-f_1005469.jpg) > ““Once you have been able to forgive, the final step is to either renew or release the relationship you have with the one who has harmed you. Indeed, even if you never speak to the person again, even if you never see them again, even if they are dead, they live on in ways that affect your life profoundly.”” [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. After forgiving, you must decide to either rebuild the relationship or let it go, recognizing its lasting impact. **In simple terms:** Choose renewal or release after forgiveness. Key Takeaway Decide how to move forward after forgiving. Themes forgiveness healing relationships Mood hopeful reflective Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - family counseling - personal trauma recovery - reconciliation processes Key Concepts psychology spirituality conflict resolution Questions to Reflect On - What does renewal look like for you? - How do you honor the memory of those who have hurt you? A Different Perspective Forgiveness alone may not heal deep wounds without further action. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Able Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/able-forgive/) [Forgive](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive/) [Forgive Final](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive-final-2150390/) [Forgiveness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgiveness/) [Life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/life/) [Relationship Harmed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship-harmed-2150391/) [Release Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/release-relationship-2150392/) ## Related quotes > [I'm not a spiteful man, never been. I always forgive. The final decision isn't mine, but God's. God knows what He does.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neymar/i-m-not-a-spiteful-man-never-been-i-always-forgive-the-final-decision/) [Neymar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neymar/) > [Forgiveness is something that we are often asked to grant and very few of us ever have the roadmap of how to get from…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/forgiveness-is-something-that-we-are-often-asked-to-grant-and-very/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [“The person who hurt you--who raped you or killed your family--is also here. If you are still angry at that person, if you haven't…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/leymah-gbowee/the-person-who-hurt-you-who-raped-you-or-killed-your-family-is-also/) [Leymah Gbowee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/leymah-gbowee/) > [The best way to be able to forgive someone is to make sincere dua for them !!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/the-best-way-to-be-able-to-forgive-someone-is-to-make-sincere-dua-for/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [Forgiveness is not for the weak. Being able to forgive those who have wronged you is a mark of spiritual strength and confidence. When…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/forgiveness-is-not-for-the-weak-being-able-to-forgive-those-who-have/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“Maybe you will never be able to forgive me, but I wanted you to know I had the best intentions-and I still love you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matthew-quick/maybe-you-will-never-be-able-to-forgive-me-but-i-wanted-you-to-know-i/) [Matthew Quick](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matthew-quick/) > [“She said that everyone has some evil inside them, and the first step to loving anyone is to recognize the same evil inside ourselves,so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/she-said-that-everyone-has-some-evil-inside-them-and-the-first-step/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“You will never be able to forgive me for killing your father, so don’t waste your time trying. Instead, you need to see past…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/franca-storm/you-will-never-be-able-to-forgive-me-for-killing-your-father-so-don-t/) [Franca Storm](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/franca-storm/) > [“-After all this pain and heartache, how are you now able to forgive? You seem so at peace with yourself and your life. How…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wes-moore/after-all-this-pain-and-heartache-how-are-you-now-able-to-forgive-you/) [Wes Moore](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wes-moore/) > [“The more you are able to forgive then the more you are able to love.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-richards/the-more-you-are-able-to-forgive-then-the-more-you-are-able-to-love/) [Stephen Richards](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-richards/) > [“He'd wondered for so many years if he'd ever be able to forgive his father. Maybe he'd just used the wrong word. Surrender. Acceptance.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeffrey-small/he-d-wondered-for-so-many-years-if-he-d-ever-be-able-to-forgive-his/) [Jeffrey Small](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeffrey-small/) > [“Some people are able to forgive when they realize that the other person just couldn't help it, because he or she was sick, damaged,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mira-kirshenbaum/some-people-are-able-to-forgive-when-they-realize-that-the-other/) [Mira Kirshenbaum](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mira-kirshenbaum/) > [You know what mom told me once? She said that everyone has some evil inside them, and the first step to loving anyone is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/veronica-roth/you-know-what-mom-told-me-once-she-said-that-everyone-has-some-evil/) [Veronica Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/veronica-roth/) > [“How do we live with all the suffering? We see our ugly parts, and then we are able to forgive, love kindness, walk humbly.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/francisco-x-stork/how-do-we-live-with-all-the-suffering-we-see-our-ugly-parts-and-then/) [Francisco X. Stork](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/francisco-x-stork/) > [“I tend to judge most harshly in others that which I most despise in myself. If only I could truly forgive them their weaknesses,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/raymond-d-longoria-jr/i-tend-to-judge-most-harshly-in-others-that-which-i-most-despise-in/) [Raymond D. Longoria Jr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/raymond-d-longoria-jr/) ## More by Desmond Tutu > [Each of us is precious to God because each of us has their name written on the palms of God's hands. And God says…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/each-of-us-is-precious-to-god-because-each-of-us-has-their-name/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Freedom and liberty lose out by default because good people are not vigilant.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/freedom-and-liberty-lose-out-by-default-because-good-people-are-not/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [We shall be free only together, black and white. We shall survive only together, black and white. We can be human only together, black…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/we-shall-be-free-only-together-black-and-white-we-shall-survive-only/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Many people would be surprised that, in fact, I'm quite shy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/many-people-would-be-surprised-that-in-fact-i-m-quite-shy/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Too many people think that reconciliation means you soft-pedal differences.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/too-many-people-think-that-reconciliation-means-you-soft-pedal/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Our Christian faith is actually very subversive of the conventional notion of success - the notion that what invests a person with worth is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/our-christian-faith-is-actually-very-subversive-of-the-conventional/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Every situation of justice is an occasion where someone is being humiliated and they want to restore their dignity.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/every-situation-of-justice-is-an-occasion-where-someone-is-being/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Race should not be used to claim privileges and rights for one group, exclusively, which are denied other different groups. Then that is an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/race-should-not-be-used-to-claim-privileges-and-rights-for-one-group/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [People are able to justify immense cruelty and say that it is something that is sanctioned by their faith.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/people-are-able-to-justify-immense-cruelty-and-say-that-it-is/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [South Africa, so utterly improbably, is a beacon of hope in a dark and troubled world.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/south-africa-so-utterly-improbably-is-a-beacon-of-hope-in-a-dark-and/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [I don't often want to speak. I try to be a reasonable person and to be diplomatic, but you go to that place and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/i-don-t-often-want-to-speak-i-try-to-be-a-reasonable-person-and-to-be/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [“child of God, known by name and whose very hairs are numbered. Praise and adore God and thank him for ever and ever. Amen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/child-of-god-known-by-name-and-whose-very-hairs-are-numbered-praise/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [To remain neutral in situations of injustice is to be complicit in that injustice.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/to-remain-neutral-in-situations-of-injustice-is-to-be-complicit-in/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [It's a fantastic thing that from moment to the next moment if God were to have stopped for a split second we would disintegrate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/it-s-a-fantastic-thing-that-from-moment-to-the-next-moment-if-god/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) > [Once lost, trust can only be regained if we are as good as our word.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/desmond-tutu/once-lost-trust-can-only-be-regained-if-we-are-as-good-as-our-word/) [Desmond Tutu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) [Explore all 558 Desmond Tutu quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/desmond-tutu/) ## More Forgive quotes > [“So in practicing blanket forgiveness you first assume that in any current condition of pain or discomfort there is some anger involved, even if…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/serge-kahili-king/so-in-practicing-blanket-forgiveness-you-first-assume-that-in-any/) [Serge Kahili King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/serge-kahili-king/) > [Do what is given to you, and do it well, and you will have done enough...live together in the forgiveness of your sins. Forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/do-what-is-given-to-you-and-do-it-well-and-you-will-have-done-enough/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying to wiggle out of one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lewis-grizzard/the-public-more-often-than-not-will-forgive-mistakes-but-it-will-not/) [Lewis Grizzard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lewis-grizzard/) > [Im so sorry,i screwed up again.i didnt meant hurting you.please,forgive me,again?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/redeyeen/im-so-sorry-i-screwed-up-again-i-didnt-meant-hurting-you-please/) [Redeyeen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/redeyeen/) > [“He fell back. He had cried out so loud that even if there had been no breach in the wall, I should have heard…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-barbusse/he-fell-back-he-had-cried-out-so-loud-that-even-if-there-had-been-no/) [Henri Barbusse](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-barbusse/) > [Forgive us our trespasses," says Margarethe, "and get out of our way.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gregory-maguire/forgive-us-our-trespasses-says-margarethe-and-get-out-of-our-way/) [Gregory Maguire](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gregory-maguire/) > [“ving self and others is an every second of every day of every week, of every month, of every year gift that should not…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sanjo-jendayi/ving-self-and-others-is-an-every-second-of-every-day-of-every-week-of/) [Sanjo Jendayi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sanjo-jendayi/) > [Ive learned¦ that no matter how good a friend is, theyre going to hurt you every once in a while, and you must forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ive-learned-that-no-matter-how-good-a-friend-is-theyre-going-to-hurt/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Forgive yourself for not being the richest, the thinnest, the tallest, the one with the best hair. Forgive yourself for not being the most…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/seth-godin/forgive-yourself-for-not-being-the-richest-the-thinnest-the-tallest/) [Seth Godin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/seth-godin/) > [If you can't forgive and forget, pick only one.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-brault/if-you-can-t-forgive-and-forget-pick-only-one/) [Robert Brault](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-brault/) > [I feel people relate with your entire journey and forgive your mistakes.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rahul-vaidya/i-feel-people-relate-with-your-entire-journey-and-forgive-your/) [Rahul Vaidya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rahul-vaidya/) > [More courage is required to forgive than is required to take up arms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jose-ramos-horta/more-courage-is-required-to-forgive-than-is-required-to-take-up-arms/) [Jose Ramos-Horta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jose-ramos-horta/) > [“The Bible says, “You must make allowance for each other’s faults and forgive the person who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rick-warren/the-bible-says-you-must-make-allowance-for-each-other-s-faults-and/) [Rick Warren](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rick-warren/) > [“By choosing to forgive, you are choosing to love. By choosing to operate in love, you are choosing to operate in an unconditional state…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eric-watterson/by-choosing-to-forgive-you-are-choosing-to-love-by-choosing-to/) [Eric Watterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eric-watterson/) > [The most important thing about being a father is being able to forgive yourself. If you don't forgive yourself, you're not going to forgive…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/evander-holyfield/the-most-important-thing-about-being-a-father-is-being-able-to/) [Evander Holyfield](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/evander-holyfield/) [Browse all 3,381 Forgive quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/forgive/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Once you have been able to forgive, the final step is to either renew or release the relationship you have with the one who has harmed you. 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