--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If you were valued primarily for your…" description: "\"“If you were valued primarily for your ability to excel, you may form an assumption that being average means you won’t be loved or valued. If you don’t..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6b/dennis-portnoy-162968_quote_if-you-were-valued-primarily-for-your-ab_239525.jpg" --- # If you were valued primarily for your ability to excel… ![“If you were valued primarily for your ability to excel, you may form an assumption that being average means you won’t be loved or valued. If you don’t perform according to a particular standard, you are a failure. You may have a belief that you must be the best at whatever I do. You may believe…” quote by Dennis Portnoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6b/dennis-portnoy-162968_quote_if-you-were-valued-primarily-for-your-ab_239525.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6b/dennis-portnoy-162968_quote_if-you-were-valued-primarily-for-your-ab_239525.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/d6b/dennis-portnoy-162968_quote_if-you-were-valued-primarily-for-your-ab_239525.jpg) > ““If you were valued primarily for your ability to excel, you may form an assumption that being average means you won’t be loved or valued. If you don’t perform according to a particular standard, you are a failure. You may have a belief that you must be the best at whatever I do. You may believe that it is wrong for you to disappoint others. You might have a hidden assumption that if someone you care about feels let down by you and you are unable to fix it, you are a bad or defective person.”” [Dennis Portnoy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dennis-portnoy/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. When self‑worth is tied to performance, any shortfall feels like personal failure. **In simple terms:** Self‑value linked to achievement leads to shame. Key Takeaway Separate identity from outcomes. Themes self‑esteem performance pressure perfectionism failure anxiety social expectations Mood insecure thoughtful motivated Type advice reflection psychological When to use this quote - therapy - journaling - feedback loops - support groups Key Concepts psychology self‑concept cognitive distortion validation Questions to Reflect On - How does defining “average” affect your relationships? - What non‑performance aspects can define your worth? A Different Perspective Not all contexts value constant high performance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Assumption Average](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/assumption-average-2404602/) [Average Means](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/average-means-2283420/) [Failure Belief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure-belief-2212715/) [Valued](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/valued/) [Valued Primarily](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/valued-primarily-2404601/) ## Related quotes > [“Being average means you are as close to the bottom as you are to the top.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-wooden/being-average-means-you-are-as-close-to-the-bottom-as-you-are-to-the/) [John Wooden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-wooden/) > [So often the difference between success and failure is belief. Belief leads to action and execution.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jon-gordon/so-often-the-difference-between-success-and-failure-is-belief-belief/) [Jon Gordon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jon-gordon/) > [Let your action reflect hopes not your fear of failure. When your belief in endeavor is stronger than fear of failure, you can makes…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anil-sinha/let-your-action-reflect-hopes-not-your-fear-of-failure-when-your/) [Anil Sinha](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anil-sinha/) > [We might neglect our future selves because of some failure of belief or imagination.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/derek-parfit/we-might-neglect-our-future-selves-because-of-some-failure-of-belief/) [Derek Parfit](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/derek-parfit/) > [“People need to feel seen, heard, and valued to have the desire to grow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcia-reynolds/people-need-to-feel-seen-heard-and-valued-to-have-the-desire-to-grow/) [Marcia Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcia-reynolds/) > [America, for me, is the country where, if you have something great to offer, you'll be valued highly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tadashi-yanai/america-for-me-is-the-country-where-if-you-have-something-great-to/) [Tadashi Yanai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tadashi-yanai/) > [“Don’t expect a reward for what you do, from people, rather what matters is how you walk and are valued by God”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/don-t-expect-a-reward-for-what-you-do-from-people-rather-what-matters/) [Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/) > [The point of the feminist movement wasn't simply to set our underwear on fire and muscle into small spaces in the male-dominated workplace, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mariella-frostrup/the-point-of-the-feminist-movement-wasn-t-simply-to-set-our-underwear/) [Mariella Frostrup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mariella-frostrup/) > [I valued the biblical foundation I got at Biola. I was able to take classes that strengthened my faith and helped me to better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-thune/i-valued-the-biblical-foundation-i-got-at-biola-i-was-able-to-take/) [John Thune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-thune/) > [My family has always valued my education.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-mariota/my-family-has-always-valued-my-education/) [Marcus Mariota](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-mariota/) > [I don't think running backs have ever been under-valued.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-cowher/i-don-t-think-running-backs-have-ever-been-under-valued/) [Bill Cowher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-cowher/) > [“He’d valued his dignity more than his own life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hyeonseo-lee/he-d-valued-his-dignity-more-than-his-own-life/) [Hyeonseo Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hyeonseo-lee/) > [Wine is valued by its price, not its flavour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/wine-is-valued-by-its-price-not-its-flavour/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [First and foremost, it was fun. Everybody involved with it made you feel like they were an important contributor to the process. We were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-arkin/first-and-foremost-it-was-fun-everybody-involved-with-it-made-you/) [Adam Arkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-arkin/) > [I still want to play where I'm valued.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohamed-sanu/i-still-want-to-play-where-i-m-valued/) [Mohamed Sanu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohamed-sanu/) ## More Valued quotes > [I still want to play where I'm valued.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mohamed-sanu/i-still-want-to-play-where-i-m-valued/) [Mohamed Sanu](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mohamed-sanu/) > [First and foremost, it was fun. Everybody involved with it made you feel like they were an important contributor to the process. We were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/adam-arkin/first-and-foremost-it-was-fun-everybody-involved-with-it-made-you/) [Adam Arkin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/adam-arkin/) > [Wine is valued by its price, not its flavour.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anthony-trollope/wine-is-valued-by-its-price-not-its-flavour/) [Anthony Trollope](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anthony-trollope/) > [“He’d valued his dignity more than his own life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hyeonseo-lee/he-d-valued-his-dignity-more-than-his-own-life/) [Hyeonseo Lee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hyeonseo-lee/) > [I don't think running backs have ever been under-valued.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bill-cowher/i-don-t-think-running-backs-have-ever-been-under-valued/) [Bill Cowher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bill-cowher/) > [My family has always valued my education.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcus-mariota/my-family-has-always-valued-my-education/) [Marcus Mariota](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcus-mariota/) > [I valued the biblical foundation I got at Biola. I was able to take classes that strengthened my faith and helped me to better…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-thune/i-valued-the-biblical-foundation-i-got-at-biola-i-was-able-to-take/) [John Thune](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-thune/) > [The point of the feminist movement wasn't simply to set our underwear on fire and muscle into small spaces in the male-dominated workplace, but…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mariella-frostrup/the-point-of-the-feminist-movement-wasn-t-simply-to-set-our-underwear/) [Mariella Frostrup](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mariella-frostrup/) > [“Don’t expect a reward for what you do, from people, rather what matters is how you walk and are valued by God”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sunday-adelaja/don-t-expect-a-reward-for-what-you-do-from-people-rather-what-matters/) [Sunday Adelaja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sunday-adelaja/) > [America, for me, is the country where, if you have something great to offer, you'll be valued highly.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tadashi-yanai/america-for-me-is-the-country-where-if-you-have-something-great-to/) [Tadashi Yanai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tadashi-yanai/) > [“People need to feel seen, heard, and valued to have the desire to grow.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marcia-reynolds/people-need-to-feel-seen-heard-and-valued-to-have-the-desire-to-grow/) [Marcia Reynolds](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marcia-reynolds/) > [“A thing is valued, she says, only if it is rare and hard to get. We want you to be valued, girls. She is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/a-thing-is-valued-she-says-only-if-it-is-rare-and-hard-to-get-we-want/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [Members of the workforce must feel valued.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/luciana-berger/members-of-the-workforce-must-feel-valued/) [Luciana Berger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/luciana-berger/) > [At the end of the day, most people just want to be valued. They want to feel they have put their time to something…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/branden-jacobs-jenkins/at-the-end-of-the-day-most-people-just-want-to-be-valued-they-want-to/) [Branden Jacobs-Jenkins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/branden-jacobs-jenkins/) > [“Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sinead-o-connor/women-are-to-be-valued-for-so-much-more-than-their-sexuality/) [Sinéad O'Connor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sinead-o-connor/) [Browse all 178 Valued quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/valued/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If you were valued primarily for your ability to excel, you may form an assumption that being average means you won’t be loved or valued. If you don’t perform according to a particular standard, you are a failure. You may have a belief that you must be the best at whatever I do. 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