--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: As the evening went on, I discovered that…" description: "\"“As the evening went on, I discovered that visitations are all about lying. Momma never looked so good, both physically and in personality, as she did ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f09/denise-grover-swank-8060_visitations_as-the-evening-went-on-i-discovered-that_2730252.jpg" --- # As the evening went on, I discovered that visitations are… ![“As the evening went on, I discovered that visitations are all about lying. Momma never looked so good, both physically and in personality, as she did dead. We heard how wonderful, kind, clever, and generous she was, adjectives no one in their right mind would have used a week ago.” quote by Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f09/denise-grover-swank-8060_visitations_as-the-evening-went-on-i-discovered-that_2730252.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f09/denise-grover-swank-8060_visitations_as-the-evening-went-on-i-discovered-that_2730252.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f09/denise-grover-swank-8060_visitations_as-the-evening-went-on-i-discovered-that_2730252.jpg) > ““As the evening went on, I discovered that visitations are all about lying. Momma never looked so good, both physically and in personality, as she did dead. We heard how wonderful, kind, clever, and generous she was, adjectives no one in their right mind would have used a week ago.”” [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Grief can distort memory, turning the deceased into idealized versions. **In simple terms:** Loss makes us see the dead as perfect. Key Takeaway Recognize grief’s bias on perception. Themes grief memory idealization loss Mood somber introspective Type philosophical emotional When to use this quote - attending funerals - writing memoirs - therapy sessions Key Concepts Psychology of mourning cognitive bias family dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How does idealization affect closure? - Can we honor loved ones without distortion? A Different Perspective Idealizing the dead may hinder healing. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet ## Related quotes > [There were momentary visitations. I was a visitor, not an inhabitant. I think I say that at the beginning of the book: "I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-ensler/there-were-momentary-visitations-i-was-a-visitor-not-an-inhabitant-i/) [Eve Ensler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-ensler/) > [My brother and I have never been that close. We have different mothers and never lived in the same house. As kids, my sister,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-mollen/my-brother-and-i-have-never-been-that-close-we-have-different-mothers/) [Jenny Mollen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-mollen/) > [We would like otherworldly visitations to come as distinct voices with clear instructions, but they may only give small signs in dreams, or as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-hillman/we-would-like-otherworldly-visitations-to-come-as-distinct-voices/) [James Hillman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-hillman/) > [“Visitations witness miracles, but habitations produce them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hope-d-blackwell/visitations-witness-miracles-but-habitations-produce-them/) [Hope D. Blackwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hope-d-blackwell/) ## More by Denise Grover Swank > [“I find it ironic that someone so ambivalent about living fights so hard to survive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/i-find-it-ironic-that-someone-so-ambivalent-about-living-fights-so/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“But the more you confront the negativity head-on, the less it can control you. When you hear that voice inside saying you can’t do…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/but-the-more-you-confront-the-negativity-head-on-the-less-it-can/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“See how long and bold my life line is? It's an indication of my sexual prowess.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/see-how-long-and-bold-my-life-line-is-it-s-an-indication-of-my-sexual/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“His hand caresses my cheek. "Scarlett, I don't want to lose you by fucking up our friendship. I want you in my life, and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/his-hand-caresses-my-cheek-scarlett-i-don-t-want-to-lose-you-by/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“Everything just feels so right when I'm with you, Scarlett. I can be me. But it's more than that. You give me something I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/everything-just-feels-so-right-when-i-m-with-you-scarlett-i-can-be-me/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“You can’t change the opinions of small-minded people.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/you-can-t-change-the-opinions-of-small-minded-people/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“Yes, you kept me alive, but you didn’t get me a seat at the table.” He shook his head in frustration. “It took a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/yes-you-kept-me-alive-but-you-didn-t-get-me-a-seat-at-the-table-he/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“People only have the ability to make you feel badly about yourself if you let them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/people-only-have-the-ability-to-make-you-feel-badly-about-yourself-if/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“Perhaps you and I aren't meant to be together in this lifetime. Maybe we're suppose to wait for eternity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/perhaps-you-and-i-aren-t-meant-to-be-together-in-this-lifetime-maybe/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“Gossip in Henryetta spread faster than a smallpox plague in an internment camp.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/gossip-in-henryetta-spread-faster-than-a-smallpox-plague-in-an/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“Even not choosing is a choice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/even-not-choosing-is-a-choice/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“You can do anything when the alternative is unacceptable.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/you-can-do-anything-when-the-alternative-is-unacceptable/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“But just know that you cannot steal my joy. I do not give you that power. I want your support and approval, but I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/but-just-know-that-you-cannot-steal-my-joy-i-do-not-give-you-that/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“life hands you lemons, you squeeze the hell out of them to get what you want. Why”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/life-hands-you-lemons-you-squeeze-the-hell-out-of-them-to-get-what/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) > [“I really loved her, I’d do anything to protect her. Even if that meant setting her free. My”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/denise-grover-swank/i-really-loved-her-i-d-do-anything-to-protect-her-even-if-that-meant/) [Denise Grover Swank](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) [Explore all 84 Denise Grover Swank quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/denise-grover-swank/) ## More Visitations quotes > [There were momentary visitations. I was a visitor, not an inhabitant. I think I say that at the beginning of the book: "I have…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-ensler/there-were-momentary-visitations-i-was-a-visitor-not-an-inhabitant-i/) [Eve Ensler](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-ensler/) > [My brother and I have never been that close. We have different mothers and never lived in the same house. As kids, my sister,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jenny-mollen/my-brother-and-i-have-never-been-that-close-we-have-different-mothers/) [Jenny Mollen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jenny-mollen/) > [We would like otherworldly visitations to come as distinct voices with clear instructions, but they may only give small signs in dreams, or as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-hillman/we-would-like-otherworldly-visitations-to-come-as-distinct-voices/) [James Hillman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-hillman/) > [“Visitations witness miracles, but habitations produce them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hope-d-blackwell/visitations-witness-miracles-but-habitations-produce-them/) [Hope D. Blackwell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hope-d-blackwell/) Browse all 5 Visitations quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“As the evening went on, I discovered that visitations are all about lying. 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