--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: I bought a dictionary. First thing I did…" description: "\"I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word \"dictionary\", and it said \"you're an asshole\".\" — Demetri Martin" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/demetri-martin-511_dictionary_i-bought-a-dictionary-first-thing-i-did_1878337.jpg" --- # I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up… ![“I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".” quote by Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/demetri-martin-511_dictionary_i-bought-a-dictionary-first-thing-i-did_1878337.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/demetri-martin-511_dictionary_i-bought-a-dictionary-first-thing-i-did_1878337.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/283/demetri-martin-511_dictionary_i-bought-a-dictionary-first-thing-i-did_1878337.jpg) > “I bought a dictionary. First thing I did was, I looked up the word "dictionary", and it said "you're an asshole".” [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. He humorously illustrates how language can be twisted to insult, highlighting the absurdity of self‑deprecation. **In simple terms:** Words can be used to mock ourselves. Key Takeaway Don’t take every insult seriously. Themes humor self‑deprecation language Mood playful irreverent Type comedic satirical When to use this quote - stand‑up routine - social media memes - personal journaling Key Concepts semantic play irony social commentary Questions to Reflect On - Do you often use humor to deflect criticism? - How does wordplay affect your self‑image? A Different Perspective The joke relies on the dictionary’s authority, which isn’t literal. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Dictionary](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dictionary/) [Funny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/funny/) [Humor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humor/) [Language](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/language/) ## Related quotes > [You invented the words, and you gave me a dictionary and you said, 'These are what the words mean.' 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Of course, the long evenings had always ended in recriminations when…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tom-eaton/ja-nee-there-had-been-some-good-times-at-the-academy-over-scrabble/) Tom Eaton > [“That fucking better not be you in the goddamn elevator, Adam. Maintenance just called and said some asshole stopped the elevator and guess what?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lexi-blake/that-fucking-better-not-be-you-in-the-goddamn-elevator-adam/) [Lexi Blake](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lexi-blake/) > [“That’s extortion,” Cerrone said. “No, asshole, that’s justice.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-connelly/that-s-extortion-cerrone-said-no-asshole-that-s-justice/) [Michael Connelly](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-connelly/) > [“Are you going to be nice to me now?" "I'm always nice to you." Sure. 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Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-asshole-slipped-peggy-a-five-spot-to-bring-him-his-burger-first/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [Sphincter is a Technical word for asshole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sphincter-is-a-technical-word-for-asshole/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [Hated By many Trash Talked By Many Guess How Many Fucks I Give Its Less Than One Asshole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karal/hated-by-many-trash-talked-by-many-guess-how-many-fucks-i-give-its/) Karal > [“Light it up, bitch.' 'Light it up, asshole,' ...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-j-maas/light-it-up-bitch-light-it-up-asshole/) [Sarah J. Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-j-maas/) ## More by Demetri Martin > [I think hair gel was invented to make it easier to identify assholes from a distance.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-hair-gel-was-invented-to-make-it-easier-to-identify-assholes/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Tic Tacs are the maracas of breath mints.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/tic-tacs-are-the-maracas-of-breath-mints/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-someone-describes-themself-as-a-taxpayer-they-re-about-to-be-an/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I think they named the orange before the carrot.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-they-named-the-orange-before-the-carrot/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I like to go to concerts because I love to see my favorite band through the phone of the asshole who's standing in front…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-like-to-go-to-concerts-because-i-love-to-see-my-favorite-band/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/how-fast-does-a-zebra-have-to-run-before-it-looks-gray/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Skiing is my favorite sport, because, that's the only sport that is actually better to watch the worst the person is at it. "That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/skiing-is-my-favorite-sport-because-that-s-the-only-sport-that-is/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I know about Woodstock probably as much as your average person who is over 30, where I'd know Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Grateful Dead.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-know-about-woodstock-probably-as-much-as-your-average-person-who-is/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [Never be less interesting than your refrigerator magnets.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/never-be-less-interesting-than-your-refrigerator-magnets/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I bought a cactus. A week later it died. And I got depressed, because I thought, Damn. I am less nurturing than a desert.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-bought-a-cactus-a-week-later-it-died-and-i-got-depressed-because-i/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [A Wednesday with no rain is a dry hump day.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/a-wednesday-with-no-rain-is-a-dry-hump-day/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [THING TO TRY: If you are asked to describe a suspect to a police sketch artist, describe in precise detail, the features of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/thing-to-try-if-you-are-asked-to-describe-a-suspect-to-a-police/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [If you happen to catch on fire during the show, do not panic or wave your arms around or scream or we wil give…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/if-you-happen-to-catch-on-fire-during-the-show-do-not-panic-or-wave/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [They say that structure is freedom, and in a sense it is. When you're dealing with multiple constraints, you have to figure out what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/they-say-that-structure-is-freedom-and-in-a-sense-it-is-when-you-re/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [I think my favorite sound is the sound of someone not playing the bongos.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/i-think-my-favorite-sound-is-the-sound-of-someone-not-playing-the/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) [Explore all 508 Demetri Martin quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) ## More Asshole quotes > [“Light it up, bitch.' 'Light it up, asshole,' ...”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sarah-j-maas/light-it-up-bitch-light-it-up-asshole/) [Sarah J. Maas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sarah-j-maas/) > [Hated By many Trash Talked By Many Guess How Many Fucks I Give Its Less Than One Asshole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/karal/hated-by-many-trash-talked-by-many-guess-how-many-fucks-i-give-its/) Karal > [Sphincter is a Technical word for asshole](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/sphincter-is-a-technical-word-for-asshole/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [When someone describes themself as a taxpayer, they're about to be an asshole.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/demetri-martin/when-someone-describes-themself-as-a-taxpayer-they-re-about-to-be-an/) [Demetri Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/demetri-martin/) > [“The asshole slipped Peggy a five-spot to bring him his burger first. Never trust a man with a penis.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darynda-jones/the-asshole-slipped-peggy-a-five-spot-to-bring-him-his-burger-first/) [Darynda Jones](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darynda-jones/) > [Dream big, work hard and don't be an asshole!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-shinoda/dream-big-work-hard-and-don-t-be-an-asshole/) [Mike Shinoda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-shinoda/) > [Broken hearts are for assholes, are you an asshole?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-zappa/broken-hearts-are-for-assholes-are-you-an-asshole/) [Frank Zappa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-zappa/) > [“When she had asked him how he was able to kill two men with his bare hands, he had gone into asshole mode, telling…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-taylor/when-she-had-asked-him-how-he-was-able-to-kill-two-men-with-his-bare/) Brad Taylor > [“It was official. I was an asshole with a permanently broken heart.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/madeline-sheehan/it-was-official-i-was-an-asshole-with-a-permanently-broken-heart/) [Madeline Sheehan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/madeline-sheehan/) > [If you are an asshole, we can be best Friends.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nikhil-saluja/if-you-are-an-asshole-we-can-be-best-friends/) [Nikhil Saluja](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nikhil-saluja/) > [“Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down, you dig,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-s-burroughs/did-i-ever-tell-you-about-the-man-who-taught-his-asshole-to-talk-his/) [William S. Burroughs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-s-burroughs/) > [“She really liked you, Noah,' 'Yeah, well, maybe I'm just an asshole.' I realize my hand is still in his hair and I retract…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/becky-wicks/she-really-liked-you-noah-yeah-well-maybe-i-m-just-an-asshole-i/) [Becky Wicks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/becky-wicks/) > [I'm nice until you piss me off...then I'm an asshole until you make me laugh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jerett-parker/i-m-nice-until-you-piss-me-off-then-i-m-an-asshole-until-you-make-me/) [Jerett Parker](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jerett-parker/) > [Just because I don't fuck you anymore doesn't make me a lesbian.It just makes you an asshole.!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/simi-ngr/just-because-i-don-t-fuck-you-anymore-doesn-t-make-me-a-lesbian-it/) [Simi Ngr](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/simi-ngr/) > [“Christ, what an asshole!" Babette said.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herman-koch/christ-what-an-asshole-babette-said/) [Herman Koch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herman-koch/) Browse all 489 Asshole quotes ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "I bought a dictionary. 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