--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: In an ongoing relationship, each current…" description: "\"In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.\" — Deborah Tannen" image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg" --- # In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs… ![“In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.” quote by Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg) > “In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.” [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Each new criticism in a relationship carries the weight of past criticisms, amplifying its impact. **In simple terms:** Criticism accumulates over time. Key Takeaway Address issues early to prevent buildup. Themes relationships communication psychology Mood reflective constructive Type advice relationship When to use this quote - marriage counseling - team dynamics - personal growth Key Concepts conflict escalation emotional baggage feedback loops Questions to Reflect On - How can couples reset the criticism cycle? - What strategies prevent criticism accumulation? A Different Perspective Ignoring early concerns can worsen conflict. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Criticism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticism/) [Criticism Packs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticism-packs-4272523/) [Current Criticism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/current-criticism-4272522/) [Currents](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/currents/) [Gone](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/gone/) [Ongoing](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ongoing/) [Ongoing Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ongoing-relationship-2199485/) [Packs](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/packs/) [Packs Punches](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/packs-punches-4272524/) [Relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationship/) [Relationships](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/relationships/) ## Related quotes > [ I can't talk about Kathy \[Jeung\] anymore, because she doesn't want me to talk about her, and I'm not even sure that it's an… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-michael/i-can-t-talk-about-kathy-jeung-anymore-because-she-doesn-t-want-me-to/) [George Michael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-michael/) > [Im open-minded. I dont consider myself gay or hetero, I just am. Ive had experiences all over the planet but it always comes down…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dana-plato/im-open-minded-i-dont-consider-myself-gay-or-hetero-i-just-am-ive-had/) [Dana Plato](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dana-plato/) > [Not to be weird, but I still have an ongoing relationship with my mom, even though she passed away, and I've been surprised at…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mindy-kaling/not-to-be-weird-but-i-still-have-an-ongoing-relationship-with-my-mom/) [Mindy Kaling](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mindy-kaling/) > [If you have an ongoing relationship with a person, think of everything positive about that person that you possibly can and enter your interaction…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/srikumar-rao/if-you-have-an-ongoing-relationship-with-a-person-think-of-everything/) [Srikumar Rao](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/srikumar-rao/) > [“That, I think, is the shock of any relationship ending. 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It begins with the first step and it does not end. We, all of us alive today, are the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-krieger/peace-is-an-ongoing-process-it-begins-with-the-first-step-and-it-does/) [David Krieger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-krieger/) ## More by Deborah Tannen > [In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-dialogue-there-is-opposition-yes-but-no-head-on-collision-smashing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/cooperation-isn-t-the-absence-of-conflict-but-a-means-of-managing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continual-balancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [“A woman will be inclined to repeat a request that doesn't get a response because she is convinced that her husband would do what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/a-woman-will-be-inclined-to-repeat-a-request-that-doesn-t-get-a/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Like most men, my father is interested in action. 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To survivein the world, we have to act in concert with others,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continualbalancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/treating-people-the-same-is-not-equal-treatment-if-they-are-not-the/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [“One reason it's so difficult to decide what to say became immediately clear: comments and questions that some appreciated were not appreciated by others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/one-reason-it-s-so-difficult-to-decide-what-to-say-became-immediately/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/all-conversation-in-addition-to-whatever-else-it-does-displays-and/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [When those closest to us respond to events differently than we do, when they seem to see the same scene as part of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/when-those-closest-to-us-respond-to-events-differently-than-we-do/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/for-most-women-the-language-of-conversation-is-primarily-a-language-2/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that means a series of conversations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/life-is-a-matter-of-dealing-with-other-people-in-little-matters-and/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) [Explore all 71 Deborah Tannen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) ## More Criticism quotes > [Regardless of the criticisms I receive from the left, the right and the middle, I think it's important to maintain a prolific writing jab,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ishmael-reed/regardless-of-the-criticisms-i-receive-from-the-left-the-right-and/) [Ishmael Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ishmael-reed/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [A common fallacy in much of the adverse criticism to which science is subjected today is that it claims certainty, infallibility and complete emotional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-norman-hinshelwood/a-common-fallacy-in-much-of-the-adverse-criticism-to-which-science-is/) [Cyril Norman Hinshelwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-norman-hinshelwood/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I reject criticism because the last thing I wanted was to sit there and look at people talking. I think people are conditioned to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-tyrnauer/i-reject-criticism-because-the-last-thing-i-wanted-was-to-sit-there/) [Matt Tyrnauer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-tyrnauer/) > [I'm more comfortable modelling as a man because I don't get any criticism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rain-dove/i-m-more-comfortable-modelling-as-a-man-because-i-don-t-get-any/) [Rain Dove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rain-dove/) > [I don't mind positive criticism, but when it is negative and personal, it is quite hard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/inzamam-ul-haq/i-don-t-mind-positive-criticism-but-when-it-is-negative-and-personal/) [Inzamam-ul-Haq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/inzamam-ul-haq/) > [Judge a person not by his ability to make money but by his ability to retain it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/judge-a-person-not-by-his-ability-to-make-money-but-by-his-ability-to/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Everything is allowable in literature, but what is not allowable in criticism is objection on the grounds of probability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/everything-is-allowable-in-literature-but-what-is-not-allowable-in/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [Lots of relationships fail because we spend more time pointing out each other's mistakes and not enough time enjoying each other's company.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/lots-of-relationships-fail-because-we-spend-more-time-pointing-out/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If our aim is to praise, we should forget to criticize; if our aim is to criticize, we should remember to praise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/if-our-aim-is-to-praise-we-should-forget-to-criticize-if-our-aim-is/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [No man can be criticised but by a greater than he. Do not, then, read the reviews.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/no-man-can-be-criticised-but-by-a-greater-than-he-do-not-then-read/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [People believe that criticism should be objective, whatever that means, but I really don't understand what people mean by that. I guess if you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-christgau/people-believe-that-criticism-should-be-objective-whatever-that-means/) [Robert Christgau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-christgau/) > [I welcome criticism. I come from a - I wouldn't say mean, but you've got to have tough skin to be in my family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saweetie/i-welcome-criticism-i-come-from-a-i-wouldn-t-say-mean-but-you-ve-got/) [Saweetie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saweetie/) > [The good author is he who contemplates without marked joy or excessive sorrow the adventures of his soul amongst criticisms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-conrad/the-good-author-is-he-who-contemplates-without-marked-joy-or/) [Joseph Conrad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-conrad/) [Browse all 3,954 Criticism quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticism/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "Deborah Tannen" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current-criticism-packs-the-punches/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Criticism" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current-criticism-packs-the-punches/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/eaf/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current_2923601.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“In an ongoing relationship, each current criticism packs the punches of all the others that have gone before.” — Deborah Tannen", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "Deborah Tannen", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "In an ongoing relationship, each current...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current-criticism-packs-the-punches/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-an-ongoing-relationship-each-current-criticism-packs-the-punches/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```