--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: any criticism heard secondhand sounds…" description: "\"any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f86/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_any-criticism-heard-secondhand-sounds-wo_1285216.jpg" --- # any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would… ![“any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.” quote by Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f86/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_any-criticism-heard-secondhand-sounds-wo_1285216.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f86/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_any-criticism-heard-secondhand-sounds-wo_1285216.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/f86/deborah-tannen-9586_criticism_any-criticism-heard-secondhand-sounds-wo_1285216.jpg) > “any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.” [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Secondhand criticism feels harsher because the speaker is absent, amplifying imagined authority. **In simple terms:** Hearsay criticism seems stronger. Key Takeaway Seek direct feedback when possible. Themes communication perception reputation psychology Mood reflective analytical Type sociolinguistic psychological When to use this quote - team meetings - performance reviews - conflict resolution - media consumption Key Concepts social cognition feedback loops interpersonal dynamics Questions to Reflect On - Why do we trust reputation over direct interaction? - How can we mitigate the impact of hearsay? A Different Perspective Direct criticism can be less constructive if not delivered thoughtfully. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Criticism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticism/) [Criticism Heard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticism-heard-4167846/) [Face to face](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/face-to-face/) [Faces](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/faces/) [Heard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heard/) [Heard Secondhand](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/heard-secondhand-4167848/) [Know Reputation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/know-reputation-561442/) [Knows](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/knows/) [Larger than life](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/larger-than-life/) [People](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/people/) [Powerful](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/powerful/) [Reputation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reputation/) [Reputation Larger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reputation-larger-4167847/) [Seems](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/seems/) [Sound](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/sound/) [Strikes](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/strikes/) ## Related quotes > [“Well then, maybe you should also be aware of the fact that I know you have a reputation as a player and I know…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristen-ashley/well-then-maybe-you-should-also-be-aware-of-the-fact-that-i-know-you/) [Kristen Ashley](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristen-ashley/) > [I come across famous people all the time. It's the respect factor I appreciate. They respect me, they respect what I've achieved and the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lennox-lewis/i-come-across-famous-people-all-the-time-it-s-the-respect-factor-i/) [Lennox Lewis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lennox-lewis/) > [I know I have a reputation that is not so flattering, but I guess I owe it to just being a private person. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shahid-kapoor/i-know-i-have-a-reputation-that-is-not-so-flattering-but-i-guess-i/) [Shahid Kapoor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/shahid-kapoor/) > [Once I decided to be a different person on stage, I got the chance to be larger than life and over the top, which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/conchita-wurst/once-i-decided-to-be-a-different-person-on-stage-i-got-the-chance-to/) [Conchita Wurst](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/conchita-wurst/) > [ \[On 9/11:\] ... those towers represented human triumph over nature. 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People who are larger than life play poker and make their living from playing games and hustling.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-altucher/poker-is-a-charismatic-game-people-who-are-larger-than-life-play/) [James Altucher](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-altucher/) > [I didn't want to be the crippled songwriter or the crippled singer. I wanted to be the singer or the songwriter who was crippled.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/doc-pomus/i-didn-t-want-to-be-the-crippled-songwriter-or-the-crippled-singer-i/) [Doc Pomus](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/doc-pomus/) > [Today America lost a great elder statesman, a committed public servant, and leader of the Senate. And today I lost a treasured friend. Ted…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/orrin-hatch/today-america-lost-a-great-elder-statesman-a-committed-public-servant/) [Orrin Hatch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/orrin-hatch/) > [People think that we're crazy because we do six nights a week. I would physically not be able to take it, especially when you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rob-thomas/people-think-that-we-re-crazy-because-we-do-six-nights-a-week-i-would/) [Rob Thomas](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rob-thomas/) > [Blackbeard was larger than life. He was 6'4" in 1710. He was a colossus, and like a rock star walking into a bar. He…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ray-stevenson/blackbeard-was-larger-than-life-he-was-6-4-in-1710-he-was-a-colossus/) [Ray Stevenson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ray-stevenson/) > [I joked at our National Convention that our party was nominating a candidate for president who was charismatic, larger than life, memorable, so they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mike-pence/i-joked-at-our-national-convention-that-our-party-was-nominating-a/) [Mike Pence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mike-pence/) > [As far as lighting and blocking, camera angles and facial expressions, all that stuff that has to be very specific in film, as opposed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eve-torres/as-far-as-lighting-and-blocking-camera-angles-and-facial-expressions/) [Eve Torres](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eve-torres/) > [Every man's heart one day beats its final beat. His lungs breathe a final breath. And if what that man did in his life…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/the-ultimate-warrior/every-man-s-heart-one-day-beats-its-final-beat-his-lungs-breathe-a/) [The Ultimate Warrior](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/the-ultimate-warrior/) ## More by Deborah Tannen > [In dialogue, there is opposition, yes, but no head-on collision. Smashing heads does not open minds.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/in-dialogue-there-is-opposition-yes-but-no-head-on-collision-smashing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Cooperation isn't the absence of conflict but a means of managing conflict.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/cooperation-isn-t-the-absence-of-conflict-but-a-means-of-managing/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Communication is a continual balancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacy and independence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continual-balancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [“A woman will be inclined to repeat a request that doesn't get a response because she is convinced that her husband would do what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/a-woman-will-be-inclined-to-repeat-a-request-that-doesn-t-get-a/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Like most men, my father is interested in action. 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It is a gift not only…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/you-re-so-real-that-s-why-we-love-you-her-friend-s-response-reflected/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [The desire for freedom and independence becomes more of an issue for many men in relationships, whereas interdependence and connection become more of an…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/the-desire-for-freedom-and-independence-becomes-more-of-an-issue-for/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [To say anything about women and men without marking oneself as either feminist or anti-feminist, male-basher or apologist for men seems as impossible for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/to-say-anything-about-women-and-men-without-marking-oneself-as-either/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Communication is a continualbalancing act, juggling the conflicting needs for intimacyand independence. To survivein the world, we have to act in concert with others,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/communication-is-a-continualbalancing-act-juggling-the-conflicting/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/treating-people-the-same-is-not-equal-treatment-if-they-are-not-the/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [“One reason it's so difficult to decide what to say became immediately clear: comments and questions that some appreciated were not appreciated by others.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/one-reason-it-s-so-difficult-to-decide-what-to-say-became-immediately/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [All conversation, in addition to whatever else it does, displays, and asks for recognition of, our competence.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/all-conversation-in-addition-to-whatever-else-it-does-displays-and/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [When those closest to us respond to events differently than we do, when they seem to see the same scene as part of a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/when-those-closest-to-us-respond-to-events-differently-than-we-do/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/for-most-women-the-language-of-conversation-is-primarily-a-language-2/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) > [Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that means a series of conversations.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/deborah-tannen/life-is-a-matter-of-dealing-with-other-people-in-little-matters-and/) [Deborah Tannen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) [Explore all 71 Deborah Tannen quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/deborah-tannen/) ## More Criticism quotes > [Regardless of the criticisms I receive from the left, the right and the middle, I think it's important to maintain a prolific writing jab,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ishmael-reed/regardless-of-the-criticisms-i-receive-from-the-left-the-right-and/) [Ishmael Reed](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ishmael-reed/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [A common fallacy in much of the adverse criticism to which science is subjected today is that it claims certainty, infallibility and complete emotional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cyril-norman-hinshelwood/a-common-fallacy-in-much-of-the-adverse-criticism-to-which-science-is/) [Cyril Norman Hinshelwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cyril-norman-hinshelwood/) > [For some reason, we are truly convinced that if we criticize ourselves, the criticism will lead to change. If we are harsh, we believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/geneen-roth/for-some-reason-we-are-truly-convinced-that-if-we-criticize-ourselves/) [Geneen Roth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/geneen-roth/) > [I reject criticism because the last thing I wanted was to sit there and look at people talking. I think people are conditioned to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/matt-tyrnauer/i-reject-criticism-because-the-last-thing-i-wanted-was-to-sit-there/) [Matt Tyrnauer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/matt-tyrnauer/) > [I'm more comfortable modelling as a man because I don't get any criticism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rain-dove/i-m-more-comfortable-modelling-as-a-man-because-i-don-t-get-any/) [Rain Dove](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rain-dove/) > [I don't mind positive criticism, but when it is negative and personal, it is quite hard.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/inzamam-ul-haq/i-don-t-mind-positive-criticism-but-when-it-is-negative-and-personal/) [Inzamam-ul-Haq](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/inzamam-ul-haq/) > [Judge a person not by his ability to make money but by his ability to retain it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/vikrant-parsai/judge-a-person-not-by-his-ability-to-make-money-but-by-his-ability-to/) [Vikrant Parsai](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/vikrant-parsai/) > [Everything is allowable in literature, but what is not allowable in criticism is objection on the grounds of probability.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/howard-jacobson/everything-is-allowable-in-literature-but-what-is-not-allowable-in/) [Howard Jacobson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/howard-jacobson/) > [Lots of relationships fail because we spend more time pointing out each other's mistakes and not enough time enjoying each other's company.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/lots-of-relationships-fail-because-we-spend-more-time-pointing-out/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If our aim is to praise, we should forget to criticize; if our aim is to criticize, we should remember to praise](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/samuel-johnson/if-our-aim-is-to-praise-we-should-forget-to-criticize-if-our-aim-is/) [Samuel Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/samuel-johnson/) > [No man can be criticised but by a greater than he. Do not, then, read the reviews.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ralph-waldo-emerson/no-man-can-be-criticised-but-by-a-greater-than-he-do-not-then-read/) [Ralph Waldo Emerson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ralph-waldo-emerson/) > [People believe that criticism should be objective, whatever that means, but I really don't understand what people mean by that. I guess if you're…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-christgau/people-believe-that-criticism-should-be-objective-whatever-that-means/) [Robert Christgau](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-christgau/) > [I welcome criticism. I come from a - I wouldn't say mean, but you've got to have tough skin to be in my family.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/saweetie/i-welcome-criticism-i-come-from-a-i-wouldn-t-say-mean-but-you-ve-got/) [Saweetie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/saweetie/) > [The good author is he who contemplates without marked joy or excessive sorrow the adventures of his soul amongst criticisms.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-conrad/the-good-author-is-he-who-contemplates-without-marked-joy-or/) [Joseph Conrad](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-conrad/) [Browse all 3,954 Criticism quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/criticism/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. 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