--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: If there’s a place for tolerance in…" description: "\"“If there’s a place for tolerance in racial healing, perhaps it has to do with tolerating my own feelings of discomfort that arise when a person, of an..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/debby-irving-25569_anger-and-fear_if-there-s-a-place-for-tolerance-in-raci_1058991.jpg" --- # If there’s a place for tolerance in racial healing… ![“If there’s a place for tolerance in racial healing, perhaps it has to do with tolerating my own feelings of discomfort that arise when a person, of any color, expresses emotion not welcome in the culture of niceness. It also has to do with tolerating my own feelings of shame, humiliation, regret…” quote by Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/debby-irving-25569_anger-and-fear_if-there-s-a-place-for-tolerance-in-raci_1058991.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/debby-irving-25569_anger-and-fear_if-there-s-a-place-for-tolerance-in-raci_1058991.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/4c8/debby-irving-25569_anger-and-fear_if-there-s-a-place-for-tolerance-in-raci_1058991.jpg) > ““If there’s a place for tolerance in racial healing, perhaps it has to do with tolerating my own feelings of discomfort that arise when a person, of any color, expresses emotion not welcome in the culture of niceness. It also has to do with tolerating my own feelings of shame, humiliation, regret, anger, and fear so I can engage, not run. For me, tolerance is not about others, it’s about accepting my own uncomfortable emotions as I adjust to a changing view of myself as imperfect and vulnerable. As human.”” [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Accepting personal uncomfortable emotions is essential for genuine racial healing and self‑growth. **In simple terms:** Tolerate your own discomfort to heal and grow. Key Takeaway Embrace discomfort, engage, and evolve. Themes tolerance self‑awareness racial healing vulnerability emotional intelligence Mood reflective hopeful serious Type advice philosophical When to use this quote - therapy sessions - diversity training - personal reflection - conflict resolution Key Concepts psychology social dynamics personal development Questions to Reflect On - How can you sit with discomfort without withdrawing? - What does vulnerability teach you about yourself? A Different Perspective Ignoring discomfort stalls healing and may reinforce avoidance. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger and fear](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger-and-fear/) [Inspirational](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/inspirational/) [Racism](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/racism/) [Social justice](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/social-justice/) [Whiteness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/whiteness/) ## Related quotes > [“White people must learn how to listen to the experiences of people of color for racial healing and justice to happen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/white-people-must-learn-how-to-listen-to-the-experiences-of-people-of/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [Throughout history, Islam has demonstrated through words and deeds the possibilities of religious tolerance and racial equality.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barack-obama/throughout-history-islam-has-demonstrated-through-words-and-deeds-the/) [Barack Obama](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barack-obama/) > [“surgery can help to remove a damaged organ but only meditation and quiet time can remove emotions like anger and fear to calm and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-spelman/surgery-can-help-to-remove-a-damaged-organ-but-only-meditation-and/) Teresa Spelman > [Imagine every day to he 5 the last6 of a life surrounded with hopes, cares, anger, and fear. The hours, that come unexpectedly, will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace/imagine-every-day-to-he-5-the-last6-of-a-life-surrounded-with-hopes/) [Horace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace/) > [“Negative relationships built on anger and fear can bring you down, while relationships built on trust and kindness can give you a major boost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryan-cohen/negative-relationships-built-on-anger-and-fear-can-bring-you-down/) [Bryan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryan-cohen/) > [Missing someone has to be one of the worst human emotions. All the other feelings like anger and fear and horror get some much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-potter/missing-someone-has-to-be-one-of-the-worst-human-emotions-all-the/) [Alexandra Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-potter/) > [“That offer paralyzed her for long moments, for now Meenakshi knew—whoever it was inside her, she meant business. And then, she shook herself off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-d-silva/that-offer-paralyzed-her-for-long-moments-for-now-meenakshi-knew/) [Neil D'Silva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-d-silva/) > [“Everywhere he sees people filled with anger and fear, society breaking up into warring fragments. Each fragment says to the others, “We are right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alcoholics-anonymous/everywhere-he-sees-people-filled-with-anger-and-fear-society-breaking/) [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alcoholics-anonymous/) > [“A populist feeding anger and fear is more likely to get elected.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/a-populist-feeding-anger-and-fear-is-more-likely-to-get-elected/) [Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/) > [ But away from the rituals of Washington, alongside the elation of \[Donald\] Trump supporters, there is deep anxiety, anger and fear. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-stephanopoulos/but-away-from-the-rituals-of-washington-alongside-the-elation-of/) [George Stephanopoulos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-stephanopoulos/) > [Let your resistance, judgements, angers and fears inform you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-your-resistance-judgements-angers-and-fears-inform-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“...you have to keep things in perspective, even when you are in the middle if a personal crisis. Fear breeds fear and worry builds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-vujicic/you-have-to-keep-things-in-perspective-even-when-you-are-in-the/) [Nick Vujicic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-vujicic/) > [“What we feel and how we feel is far more important than what we think and how we think. Feeling is the stuff of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-galli/what-we-feel-and-how-we-feel-is-far-more-important-than-what-we-think/) [Mark Galli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-galli/) > [“Oh, Vixus," I say with a sigh, keeping the tremble of anger and fear out of my voice. "Vixus, Vixus, Vixus. There are no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierce-brown/oh-vixus-i-say-with-a-sigh-keeping-the-tremble-of-anger-and-fear-out/) [Pierce Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierce-brown/) > [Think of your mind, your emotions, and your spirit as the ultimate garden. The way to ensure a bountiful, nourishing harvest is to plant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-robbins/think-of-your-mind-your-emotions-and-your-spirit-as-the-ultimate/) [Tony Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-robbins/) ## More by Debby Irving > [“Only a small part of reality, for a human being, is what is actually going on; the greater part is what he imagines in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/only-a-small-part-of-reality-for-a-human-being-is-what-is-actually/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Be it Europeans’ initial assumption of the right to invade in the 1600s, the Indian Removal Act in the 1800s, or the English-only acts…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/be-it-europeans-initial-assumption-of-the-right-to-invade-in-the/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Shifting from a superior/inferior paradigm to a strength-in-difference paradigm was kind of a good news/bad news situation. On the downside, I had to admit…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/shifting-from-a-superior-inferior-paradigm-to-a-strength-in/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Any cycle that traps someone in a state of perpetual disadvantage is the real issue for the person experiencing it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/any-cycle-that-traps-someone-in-a-state-of-perpetual-disadvantage-is/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [ “Eduardo Bonilla-Silva comments: “\[The\] melting pot never included people of color. Blacks, Chinese, Puerto Ricans, et cetera, could not melt into the pot. They… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/eduardo-bonilla-silva-comments-the-melting-pot-never-included-people/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“The story of race has become a self-fulfilling, self-perpetuating prophecy as the story creates the ideas, which then reinforce the story.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/the-story-of-race-has-become-a-self-fulfilling-self-perpetuating/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Choosing to engage in the effort to dismantle racism promises to bring with it discomfort, yet how can I compare my discomfort to what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/choosing-to-engage-in-the-effort-to-dismantle-racism-promises-to/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Racism demands an artificial and divisive construction of humanity, in terms of how I make sense of others and also how I envision myself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/racism-demands-an-artificial-and-divisive-construction-of-humanity-in/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Understanding whiteness, regardless of class, is key to understanding racism.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/understanding-whiteness-regardless-of-class-is-key-to-understanding/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“I now understand that acting like a white American wasn’t just a “When in Rome do as the Romans do” cultural sensibility, but a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/i-now-understand-that-acting-like-a-white-american-wasn-t-just-a-when/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“I’ve heard it said that conversations are the way human beings think together.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/i-ve-heard-it-said-that-conversations-are-the-way-human-beings-think/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“My white skin, an epidermal gold card, has greased the skids for a life full of opportunities and rewards”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/my-white-skin-an-epidermal-gold-card-has-greased-the-skids-for-a-life/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“Each cultural norm motivated me to fit in while judging others who didn’t.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/each-cultural-norm-motivated-me-to-fit-in-while-judging-others-who/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“dysfunctional rescuing,” helping people in ways that actually disempower them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/dysfunctional-rescuing-helping-people-in-ways-that-actually/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) > [“WHY DO I ALWAYS END UP WITH WHITE PEOPLE?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/debby-irving/why-do-i-always-end-up-with-white-people/) [Debby Irving](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) [Explore all 23 Debby Irving quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/debby-irving/) ## More Anger and fear quotes > [Think of your mind, your emotions, and your spirit as the ultimate garden. The way to ensure a bountiful, nourishing harvest is to plant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tony-robbins/think-of-your-mind-your-emotions-and-your-spirit-as-the-ultimate/) [Tony Robbins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tony-robbins/) > [“Oh, Vixus," I say with a sigh, keeping the tremble of anger and fear out of my voice. "Vixus, Vixus, Vixus. There are no…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pierce-brown/oh-vixus-i-say-with-a-sigh-keeping-the-tremble-of-anger-and-fear-out/) [Pierce Brown](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pierce-brown/) > [“What we feel and how we feel is far more important than what we think and how we think. Feeling is the stuff of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-galli/what-we-feel-and-how-we-feel-is-far-more-important-than-what-we-think/) [Mark Galli](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-galli/) > [“...you have to keep things in perspective, even when you are in the middle if a personal crisis. Fear breeds fear and worry builds…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nick-vujicic/you-have-to-keep-things-in-perspective-even-when-you-are-in-the/) [Nick Vujicic](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nick-vujicic/) > [Let your resistance, judgements, angers and fears inform you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/let-your-resistance-judgements-angers-and-fears-inform-you/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [ But away from the rituals of Washington, alongside the elation of \[Donald\] Trump supporters, there is deep anxiety, anger and fear. ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/george-stephanopoulos/but-away-from-the-rituals-of-washington-alongside-the-elation-of/) [George Stephanopoulos](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/george-stephanopoulos/) > [“A populist feeding anger and fear is more likely to get elected.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/louise-penny/a-populist-feeding-anger-and-fear-is-more-likely-to-get-elected/) [Louise Penny](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/louise-penny/) > [“Everywhere he sees people filled with anger and fear, society breaking up into warring fragments. Each fragment says to the others, “We are right…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alcoholics-anonymous/everywhere-he-sees-people-filled-with-anger-and-fear-society-breaking/) [Alcoholics Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alcoholics-anonymous/) > [“That offer paralyzed her for long moments, for now Meenakshi knew—whoever it was inside her, she meant business. And then, she shook herself off…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-d-silva/that-offer-paralyzed-her-for-long-moments-for-now-meenakshi-knew/) [Neil D'Silva](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-d-silva/) > [Missing someone has to be one of the worst human emotions. All the other feelings like anger and fear and horror get some much…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alexandra-potter/missing-someone-has-to-be-one-of-the-worst-human-emotions-all-the/) [Alexandra Potter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alexandra-potter/) > [“Negative relationships built on anger and fear can bring you down, while relationships built on trust and kindness can give you a major boost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryan-cohen/negative-relationships-built-on-anger-and-fear-can-bring-you-down/) [Bryan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryan-cohen/) > [Imagine every day to he 5 the last6 of a life surrounded with hopes, cares, anger, and fear. The hours, that come unexpectedly, will…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace/imagine-every-day-to-he-5-the-last6-of-a-life-surrounded-with-hopes/) [Horace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace/) > [“surgery can help to remove a damaged organ but only meditation and quiet time can remove emotions like anger and fear to calm and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/teresa-spelman/surgery-can-help-to-remove-a-damaged-organ-but-only-meditation-and/) Teresa Spelman > [In Israel, waves of anger and fear circulate all the time, but so do jokes and gossip and silky evening breezes. So, too, in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/p-j-o-rourke/in-israel-waves-of-anger-and-fear-circulate-all-the-time-but-so-do/) [P. J. O'Rourke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/p-j-o-rourke/) > [“Let it out. That is the first step. All the anger and fear and sadness. I'll be here to pick up the pieces.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/shikikazu/let-it-out-that-is-the-first-step-all-the-anger-and-fear-and-sadness/) Shikikazu [Browse all 47 Anger and fear quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger-and-fear/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“If there’s a place for tolerance in racial healing, perhaps it has to do with tolerating my own feelings of discomfort that arise when a person, of any color, expresses emotion not welcome in the culture of niceness. It also has to do with tolerating my own feelings of shame, humiliation, regret, anger, and fear so I can engage, not run. For me, tolerance is not about others, it’s about accepting my own uncomfortable emotions as I adjust to a changing view of myself as imperfect and vulnerable. 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