--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: This is my emergency kit. It contained a…" description: "\"“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/680/david-wong-1098_be-prepared_this-is-my-emergency-kit-it-contained-a_473753.png" --- # This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct… ![“This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two packages of beef jerky, three bottles of water, a roll of thick shop towels you see mechanics use, a small metal pipe - just right for cracking a…” quote by David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/680/david-wong-1098_be-prepared_this-is-my-emergency-kit-it-contained-a_473753.png) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/680/david-wong-1098_be-prepared_this-is-my-emergency-kit-it-contained-a_473753.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/680/david-wong-1098_be-prepared_this-is-my-emergency-kit-it-contained-a_473753.png) > ““This is my emergency kit. It contained a roll of duct tape, a spare pair of pants, an envelope with two hundred dollars, two bags of dried fruit, two packages of beef jerky, three bottles of water, a roll of thick shop towels you see mechanics use, a small metal pipe - just right for cracking a skull with - and a fake beard. Look, you never know.”” [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. A humorous list of survival items, mixing practicality with absurdity, highlighting preparedness and dark comedy. **In simple terms:** A funny survival kit with odd items. Key Takeaway Carry essentials, but keep humor. Themes survival humor preparedness Mood lighthearted ironic Type comedic satirical When to use this quote - road trips - disaster prep - camping - emergency drills Key Concepts dark comedy resourcefulness Questions to Reflect On - What would you truly need in a crisis? - How does humor affect emergency planning? A Different Perspective The list is impractical for real emergencies. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Beef Jerky](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/beef-jerky/) [Emergency](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emergency/) [Humour](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/humour/) ## Related quotes > [Having an emergency kit full of supplies and important documents is essential for your and your family's well-being during a storm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anna-paulina-luna/having-an-emergency-kit-full-of-supplies-and-important-documents-is/) [Anna Paulina Luna](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anna-paulina-luna/) > [But there's no emergency kit for marriage. No neat plan you can turn to when the ground shifts beneath your feet.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-richmond/but-there-s-no-emergency-kit-for-marriage-no-neat-plan-you-can-turn/) [Michelle Richmond](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-richmond/) > [I have the emergency kit in my purse that has double-sided tape and Tylenol, and a small energy bar. I'm the one that has…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/busy-philipps/i-have-the-emergency-kit-in-my-purse-that-has-double-sided-tape-and/) [Busy Philipps](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/busy-philipps/) > [A snake bite emergency kit is a body bag.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mitch-hedberg/a-snake-bite-emergency-kit-is-a-body-bag/) [Mitch Hedberg](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mitch-hedberg/) > [“They all migrated to the front door. Dad and Dale carried the larger bags. Seth held a smaller duffel bag and a cereal box.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brandon-mull/they-all-migrated-to-the-front-door-dad-and-dale-carried-the-larger/) [Brandon Mull](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brandon-mull/) > [Kaia darling, Willaim said, nearly leaping over a stand of beef jerky in his haste to reach her. Are you here to fight the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/gena-showalter/kaia-darling-willaim-said-nearly-leaping-over-a-stand-of-beef-jerky/) [Gena Showalter](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/gena-showalter/) > [Iggy: "I'll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent. so people are choking and gagging; and let's throw…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-patterson/iggy-i-ll-grab-a-zebra-gaz-you-fill-all-the-bubbles-with-your/) [James Patterson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-patterson/) > [“ Dear Mr. Gibbon. Sorry I was absent. Here is some salted food. Please grade it the way you would a jenti piece of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/douglas-rees/dear-mr-gibbon-sorry-i-was-absent-here-is-some-salted-food-please/) [Douglas Rees](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/douglas-rees/) > [When I'm on the road, I eat like I'm on the third day of a hiking trip all the time. I'm eating beef jerky…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michelle-wolf/when-i-m-on-the-road-i-eat-like-i-m-on-the-third-day-of-a-hiking-trip/) [Michelle Wolf](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michelle-wolf/) > [“I have to pause the video while I corral the dogs in the other room. They howl in protest, and I tell them they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jen-lancaster/i-have-to-pause-the-video-while-i-corral-the-dogs-in-the-other-room/) [Jen Lancaster](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jen-lancaster/) > [“As it happens, the first souvenir I bought was a dried llama fetus. Revolting as it may sound, my poor stillborn llama is actually…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/amy-chua/as-it-happens-the-first-souvenir-i-bought-was-a-dried-llama-fetus/) [Amy Chua](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/amy-chua/) > [Wouldn't a handjob sound better if it was called called beef jerky? Stay thirsty my friends!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/wouldn-t-a-handjob-sound-better-if-it-was-called-called-beef-jerky/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [A great road trip snack for me personally is beef jerky, Cheezels and a ginger beer. Keeps the blood flowing.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ruel/a-great-road-trip-snack-for-me-personally-is-beef-jerky-cheezels-and/) Ruel > [After swimming, I have breakfast. I start with a big bowl of porridge - say, 100 grams of oats - then some cereal, five…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eddie-hall/after-swimming-i-have-breakfast-i-start-with-a-big-bowl-of-porridge/) [Eddie Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eddie-hall/) > [“The combination of long-expired beef jerky and ten cans of Coors were likely responsible for the upheaval in his bowels.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ryan-seek/the-combination-of-long-expired-beef-jerky-and-ten-cans-of-coors-were/) [Ryan Seek](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ryan-seek/) ## More by David Wong > [“A realization washed over her in that cold, dark space: this was how virtually all living things born on earth have died—with teeth tearing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/a-realization-washed-over-her-in-that-cold-dark-space-this-was-how/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Let’s say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. 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Can any of you sing? The old spirituals work best." John said, "I can sing." I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/marconi-said-i-see-you-have-your-instruments-can-any-of-you-sing-the/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“It’s the microscopic parasite that causes malaria. Nearly half of all human deaths in recorded history have been caused by this invisible assassin. One…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/it-s-the-microscopic-parasite-that-causes-malaria-nearly-half-of-all/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [At this point two elderly security guards in parkas, the guys who normally work the front desk at the plant, asked John to step…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/at-this-point-two-elderly-security-guards-in-parkas-the-guys-who/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“I stared at the price tags and thought, Why don’t you fucking kill yourself? I have that thought a lot, actually. Hey, did you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-stared-at-the-price-tags-and-thought-why-don-t-you-fucking-kill/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Well, you’d better hope I am because the world was built by sociopaths, men willing to send a million innocent boys into battle to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/well-you-d-better-hope-i-am-because-the-world-was-built-by-sociopaths/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [There is no word in the English language for the feeling someone gets when they suddenly realize they're standing next to an unholy monster…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/there-is-no-word-in-the-english-language-for-the-feeling-someone-gets/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Around us, the disembodied human limbs were piling up, forming a circle around the fountain, fusing themselves to each other like Satan’s LEGO set.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/around-us-the-disembodied-human-limbs-were-piling-up-forming-a-circle/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“I tried to say something cool, wound up stammering something like, “WANNA YOU WANNA WEENIE ME?” The end kind of trailed off in a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/i-tried-to-say-something-cool-wound-up-stammering-something-like/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [John flung himself into a pseudo-karate stance, one hand poised behind him and one in front, posed like a cartoon cactus. I thought for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/john-flung-himself-into-a-pseudo-karate-stance-one-hand-poised-behind/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) > [“Imagine fifty thousand men trapped on a desert island, deprived of food and water and sex but somehow kept alive for fifty thousand years.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-wong/imagine-fifty-thousand-men-trapped-on-a-desert-island-deprived-of/) [David Wong](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) [Explore all 294 David Wong quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-wong/) ## More Be prepared quotes > [“In your goals to go the extra mile, prepare to pay an extra cost. Excellence is to be exceptional, surpassing, more competent and a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/israelmore-ayivor/in-your-goals-to-go-the-extra-mile-prepare-to-pay-an-extra-cost/) [Israelmore Ayivor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/israelmore-ayivor/) > [I have learned so much from my dad. 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Like the driver's ed kid,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-martin/the-thing-about-writing-or-making-art-is-that-i-m-not-thinking-about/) [Chelsea Martin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-martin/) > [You must have goals in your life, or otherwise be prepared to be used by those who do have them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/herb-brooks/you-must-have-goals-in-your-life-or-otherwise-be-prepared-to-be-used/) [Herb Brooks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/herb-brooks/) > [I never minded giving my opinions. They are just opinions, and I had studied music and I had strong feelings. I was happy for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wynton-marsalis/i-never-minded-giving-my-opinions-they-are-just-opinions-and-i-had/) [Wynton Marsalis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wynton-marsalis/) > [To me, man means awareness of death. I am not saying become afraid of death; that is not awareness. Just be aware of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rajneesh/to-me-man-means-awareness-of-death-i-am-not-saying-become-afraid-of/) [Rajneesh](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rajneesh/) > [Don't yield to that alluring witch, laziness, or else be prepared to surrender all that you have won in your better moments.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/horace/don-t-yield-to-that-alluring-witch-laziness-or-else-be-prepared-to/) [Horace](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/horace/) > [Another mistake a director can make is not to be prepared, so you get there on the day to shoot the scene, and they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/william-h-macy/another-mistake-a-director-can-make-is-not-to-be-prepared-so-you-get/) [William H. Macy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/william-h-macy/) > [Old Flossie settle down on the other side of What-the-Dickens and dragged some handiwork out of a sack. 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