--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: We can never know in the beginning, in…" description: "\"“We can never know in the beginning, in giving ourselves to a person, to a work, to a marriage or to a cause, exactly what kind of love we are involved..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg" --- # We can never know in the beginning, in giving ourselves to… ![“We can never know in the beginning, in giving ourselves to a person, to a work, to a marriage or to a cause, exactly what kind of love we are involved with. When we demand a certain specific kind of reciprocation before the revelation has flowered completely we find our selves disappointed and…” quote by David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg) > ““We can never know in the beginning, in giving ourselves to a person, to a work, to a marriage or to a cause, exactly what kind of love we are involved with. When we demand a certain specific kind of reciprocation before the revelation has flowered completely we find our selves disappointed and bereaved and in that grief may miss the particular form of love that is actually possible but that did not meet our initial and too specific expectations. Feeling bereft we take our identity as one who is disappointed in love, our almost proud disappointment preventing us from seeing the lack of reciprocation from the person or the situation as simply a difficult invitation into a deeper and as yet unrecognizable form of affection. The act of loving itself, always becomes a path of humble apprenticeship, not only in following its difficult way and discovering its different forms of humility and beautiful abasement but strangely, through its fierce introduction to all its many astonishing and different forms, where we are asked continually and against our will, to give in so many different ways, without knowing exactly, or in what way, when or how, the mysterious gift will be returned.”” [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Love is unpredictable; expecting a specific return blinds us to deeper, unexpected forms of affection. **In simple terms:** Love is unknown and requires humility. Key Takeaway Embrace love without fixed expectations. Themes love humility expectation growth Mood reflective thoughtful Type philosophical inspirational When to use this quote - marriage - friendship - career - personal growth - creative collaboration Key Concepts psychology relationships spirituality Questions to Reflect On - How can you stay open to love’s unknown forms? - What expectations are you holding that block deeper connection? A Different Perspective Expectations can limit openness to evolving love. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Different ways](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different-ways/) [Disappointed love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/disappointed-love/) [Feeling Bereft](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/feeling-bereft-886222/) [Form Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/form-love-449067/) [Grief](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/grief/) [Lack Reciprocation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/lack-reciprocation-2087557/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Marriage](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/marriage/) [Reciprocation Revelation](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/reciprocation-revelation-2087556/) ## Related quotes > [“ For the rest of the afternoon, Rebecca wandered around the house tidying up halfheartedly, feeling bereft and disoriented, trying to balance impassive mass…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tim-farrington/for-the-rest-of-the-afternoon-rebecca-wandered-around-the-house/) [Tim Farrington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tim-farrington/) > [“I suppose it doesn't matter what form love takes, maybe you just need to take it when it comes.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/albert-borris/i-suppose-it-doesn-t-matter-what-form-love-takes-maybe-you-just-need/) [Albert Borris](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/albert-borris/) > [The ultimate form of love for God and men is forgiveness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marion-d-hanks/the-ultimate-form-of-love-for-god-and-men-is-forgiveness/) [Marion D. Hanks](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marion-d-hanks/) > [“Messy love is better than none, I guess. I'm no authority on sane living. Which is all true and no hep at all, because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/margaret-atwood/messy-love-is-better-than-none-i-guess-i-m-no-authority-on-sane/) [Margaret Atwood](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/margaret-atwood/) > [Nowadays I have observed that everyone used to say like true love or real love & needs adjective to prove their love. I believe…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/b-d-trivedi/nowadays-i-have-observed-that-everyone-used-to-say-like-true-love-or/) [B D Trivedi](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/b-d-trivedi/) > [“When both lovers yearn to become entirely one being, to free each other and to develop each other to the greatest perfection, this is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nancy-horan/when-both-lovers-yearn-to-become-entirely-one-being-to-free-each/) [Nancy Horan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nancy-horan/) > [Hate is only a form love that hasn't found a way to express itself logically.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lil-wayne/hate-is-only-a-form-love-that-hasn-t-found-a-way-to-express-itself/) [Lil Wayne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lil-wayne/) > [The truest form of love is how you behave toward someone, not how you feel about them](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steve-hall/the-truest-form-of-love-is-how-you-behave-toward-someone-not-how-you/) [Steve Hall](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steve-hall/) > [The more personal you are willing to be and the more intimate you are willing to be about the details of your own life,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sherwin-b-nuland/the-more-personal-you-are-willing-to-be-and-the-more-intimate-you-are/) [Sherwin B. Nuland](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sherwin-b-nuland/) > [The highest form of love is unconditional love, where you love others without expecting anything in return. And you dont need any reason to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sannica/the-highest-form-of-love-is-unconditional-love-where-you-love-others/) [Sannica](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sannica/) > [no form of love is wrong, so long as it is love, and you yourself honour what you are doing. Love has an extraordinary…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/no-form-of-love-is-wrong-so-long-as-it-is-love-and-you-yourself/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [The highest form of love is to be the protector of another person’s solitude.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rainer-maria-rilke/the-highest-form-of-love-is-to-be-the-protector-of-another-person-s/) [Rainer Maria Rilke](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rainer-maria-rilke/) > [That impulse I think is a form of love. Poetry is something that comes to you, rather than your having to work out its…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/judith-wright/that-impulse-i-think-is-a-form-of-love-poetry-is-something-that-comes/) [Judith Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/judith-wright/) > [So love is the recognition of oneness in a world of duality. This is the birth of God into the world of form. Love…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/eckhart-tolle/so-love-is-the-recognition-of-oneness-in-a-world-of-duality-this-is/) [Eckhart Tolle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/eckhart-tolle/) > [To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/robert-muller/to-forgive-is-the-highest-most-beautiful-form-of-love-in-return-you/) [Robert Muller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/robert-muller/) ## More by David Whyte > [“The poet lives and writes at the frontier between deep internal experience and the revelations of the outer world. There is no going back…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/the-poet-lives-and-writes-at-the-frontier-between-deep-internal/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [I returned to poetry as a more precise way to describe the world, more precise than science.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/i-returned-to-poetry-as-a-more-precise-way-to-describe-the-world-more/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [What if the world is holding its breath - waiting for you to take the place that only you can fill?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/what-if-the-world-is-holding-its-breath-waiting-for-you-to-take-the/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [What you plan is too small for you to live.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/what-you-plan-is-too-small-for-you-to-live/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [“It is not the thing you fear that you must deal with, it is the mother of the thing you fear. The very thing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/it-is-not-the-thing-you-fear-that-you-must-deal-with-it-is-the-mother/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [Heartbreak is our indication of sincerity: in a love relationship, in a work, in trying to learn a musical instrument, in the attempt to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/heartbreak-is-our-indication-of-sincerity-in-a-love-relationship-in-a/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [The frail, vulnerable sounds of which we are capable seem to be essential to a later ability to roar like a lion without scaring…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/the-frail-vulnerable-sounds-of-which-we-are-capable-seem-to-be/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [A good poem has its own life. It's like bringing a child into the world. You, the poet, birthed the child, but the child…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/a-good-poem-has-its-own-life-it-s-like-bringing-a-child-into-the/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [“Work, like marriage, is a place you can lose yourself more easily perhaps than finding yourself. It is a place full of powerful undercurrents,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/work-like-marriage-is-a-place-you-can-lose-yourself-more-easily/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [The moment you’ve uttered the exact dimensionality of your exile, you’re already turning towards home.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/the-moment-you-ve-uttered-the-exact-dimensionality-of-your-exile-you/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [“...wanting soul life without the dark, warming intelligence of personal doubt is like expecting an egg without the brooding heat of the mother hen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/wanting-soul-life-without-the-dark-warming-intelligence-of-personal/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [It's my contention that there is no sincere path a human being can take without breaking his or her heart...so it can be a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/it-s-my-contention-that-there-is-no-sincere-path-a-human-being-can/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [“FINISTERRE The road in the end taking the path the sun had taken, into the western sea, and the moon rising behind you as…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/finisterre-the-road-in-the-end-taking-the-path-the-sun-had-taken-into/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [“When your eyes are tired the world is tired also. When your vision has gone no part of the world can find you. Time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/when-your-eyes-are-tired-the-world-is-tired-also-when-your-vision-has/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) > [“You must learn one thing: the world was made to be free in. Give up all the other worlds except the one to which…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/you-must-learn-one-thing-the-world-was-made-to-be-free-in-give-up-all/) [David Whyte](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) [Explore all 129 David Whyte quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/) ## More Different ways quotes > [“Picking locks was not a skill he had ever cultivated, but he persisted day after day, turning the tip of his talon into different…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neal-shusterman/picking-locks-was-not-a-skill-he-had-ever-cultivated-but-he-persisted/) [Neal Shusterman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neal-shusterman/) > [Some shows just go away - and that's fine. They serve their purpose and their entertainment value, but there are shows that touch people…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-cudlitz/some-shows-just-go-away-and-that-s-fine-they-serve-their-purpose-and/) [Michael Cudlitz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/michael-cudlitz/) > [I'm 38 and I'm single, and I'm having my most intense and gratifying relationship with a dog. But we all learn about love in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/caroline-knapp/i-m-38-and-i-m-single-and-i-m-having-my-most-intense-and-gratifying/) [Caroline Knapp](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/caroline-knapp/) > [There are many different ways the public can respond to actors - they can see you on TV and feel they know you and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chiwetel-ejiofor/there-are-many-different-ways-the-public-can-respond-to-actors-they/) [Chiwetel Ejiofor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chiwetel-ejiofor/) > [“The first phase of modernism, which so far as the English language goes we associate with Pound and Yeats, Wyndham Lewis and Eliot and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/frank-kermode/the-first-phase-of-modernism-which-so-far-as-the-english-language/) [Frank Kermode](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/frank-kermode/) > [When we fall utterly, something gathers us up. But our falling must be without reservation, without expectation, without hope, though not hopeless. You cant…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/roger-housden/when-we-fall-utterly-something-gathers-us-up-but-our-falling-must-be/) [Roger Housden](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/roger-housden/) > [It is great to see Bollywood celebrities contributing to so many different trends in so many different ways. I think this is one of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lara-dutta/it-is-great-to-see-bollywood-celebrities-contributing-to-so-many/) [Lara Dutta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lara-dutta/) > [I do remember what I said. The promise. To protect her. If I'd done that ... even if I didn't make it, you wouldn't've…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joss-whedon/i-do-remember-what-i-said-the-promise-to-protect-her-if-i-d-done-that/) [Joss Whedon](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joss-whedon/) > [Skating is a sport that I found a lot of interest in from a very, very young age. Ultimately, I think that being on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathan-chen/skating-is-a-sport-that-i-found-a-lot-of-interest-in-from-a-very-very/) [Nathan Chen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathan-chen/) > [I was going to say 'my friend Stuart', but I suppose he's not a friend any more. I seem to have lost a number…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jonathan-coe/i-was-going-to-say-my-friend-stuart-but-i-suppose-he-s-not-a-friend/) [Jonathan Coe](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jonathan-coe/) > [I'll reshoot a corridor 13 different ways, and you'll never recognise them.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ridley-scott/i-ll-reshoot-a-corridor-13-different-ways-and-you-ll-never-recognise/) [Ridley Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ridley-scott/) > [She waited for you in a thousand different ways.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristin-hannah/she-waited-for-you-in-a-thousand-different-ways/) [Kristin Hannah](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristin-hannah/) > [“5 Tips for Mirroring Others 1. Body language. When they smile, you smile. When they lean back in their chair, you lean back in…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/susan-c-young/5-tips-for-mirroring-others-1-body-language-when-they-smile-you-smile/) [Susan C. Young](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/susan-c-young/) > [Movies have been doing so much of the same thing - in slightly different ways - for so long that few of the possibilities…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/pauline-kael/movies-have-been-doing-so-much-of-the-same-thing-in-slightly/) [Pauline Kael](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/pauline-kael/) > [With acting, it's like you form chemistry with different people in different ways, so it's really added even more fun to work, you know?](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tyler-blackburn/with-acting-it-s-like-you-form-chemistry-with-different-people-in/) [Tyler Blackburn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tyler-blackburn/) [Browse all 2,175 Different ways quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/different-ways/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“We can never know in the beginning, in giving ourselves to a person, to a work, to a marriage or to a cause, exactly what kind of love we are involved with. When we demand a certain specific kind of reciprocation before the revelation has flowered completely we find our selves disappointed and bereaved and in that grief may miss the particular form of love that is actually possible but that did not meet our initial and too specific expectations. Feeling bereft we take our identity as one who is disappointed in love, our almost proud disappointment preventing us from seeing the lack of reciprocation from the person or the situation as simply a difficult invitation into a deeper and as yet unrecognizable form of affection. The act of loving itself, always becomes a path of humble apprenticeship, not only in following its difficult way and discovering its different forms of humility and beautiful abasement but strangely, through its fierce introduction to all its many astonishing and different forms, where we are asked continually and against our will, to give in so many different ways, without knowing exactly, or in what way, when or how, the mysterious gift will be returned.”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David Whyte" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-giving-ourselves-to-a-person-to/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Different ways" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-giving-ourselves-to-a-person-to/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/19c/david-whyte-3502_different-ways_we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-gi_199562.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“We can never know in the beginning, in giving ourselves to a person, to a work, to a marriage or to a cause…” — David Whyte", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "David Whyte", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-whyte/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“We can never know in the...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-giving-ourselves-to-a-person-to/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-whyte/we-can-never-know-in-the-beginning-in-giving-ourselves-to-a-person-to/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```