--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: The anger in itself was not the problem…" description: "\"“The anger in itself was not the problem. The lack of anger management and the inappropriate expression of this anger is what doomed your relationship ..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/david-w-earle-lpc-28884_anger_the-anger-in-itself-was-not-the-problem_839474.jpg" --- # The anger in itself was not the problem. The lack of anger… ![“The anger in itself was not the problem. The lack of anger management and the inappropriate expression of this anger is what doomed your relationship . . . sucked the love right out of it!” quote by David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/david-w-earle-lpc-28884_anger_the-anger-in-itself-was-not-the-problem_839474.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/david-w-earle-lpc-28884_anger_the-anger-in-itself-was-not-the-problem_839474.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/5bd/david-w-earle-lpc-28884_anger_the-anger-in-itself-was-not-the-problem_839474.jpg) > ““The anger in itself was not the problem. The lack of anger management and the inappropriate expression of this anger is what doomed your relationship . . . sucked the love right out of it!”” [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. Uncontrolled anger and poor expression damage relationships, draining love and connection. **In simple terms:** Bad anger ruins love. Key Takeaway Learn to manage and express anger healthily. Themes relationships emotions communication Mood frustrated reflective Type advice psychology When to use this quote - couples therapy - conflict resolution - personal growth Key Concepts anger management emotional intelligence relationship dynamics Questions to Reflect On - How can you recognize early signs of unhealthy anger? - What strategies help you channel anger positively? A Different Perspective Even managed anger can still cause hurt if not expressed constructively. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Anger](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) [Anger management](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger-management/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Management](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/management/) ## Related quotes > [“Granted, anger can be misplaced and is often destructive, but anger generates passion, and that energy, if used correctly, can be highly constructive.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/granted-anger-can-be-misplaced-and-is-often-destructive-but-anger/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“All decisions involve emotions,ignoring emotions decreases the quality of the result.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/all-decisions-involve-emotions-ignoring-emotions-decreases-the/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Thinking about anger in positive terms is alien in most people’s experiences. However, a healthy expression of anger is a component for building and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/thinking-about-anger-in-positive-terms-is-alien-in-most-people-s/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“No one can make you angry! No one can make you mad! You get to choose.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/no-one-can-make-you-angry-no-one-can-make-you-mad-you-get-to-choose/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“When we are not connected with our emotions, we are not connected to ourselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/when-we-are-not-connected-with-our-emotions-we-are-not-connected-to/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“As a little boy, when I would get angry, my mother would say, “Count to ten.” Try as I might, I could not make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/as-a-little-boy-when-i-would-get-angry-my-mother-would-say-count-to/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“When anger is used correctly, it can have positive results!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/when-anger-is-used-correctly-it-can-have-positive-results/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Anger has two benefits: it provides a warning and the necessary energy for change.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/anger-has-two-benefits-it-provides-a-warning-and-the-necessary-energy/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Listing someone else’s faults is taking someone else’s inventory, and usually starts conflict.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/listing-someone-else-s-faults-is-taking-someone-else-s-inventory-and/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Anger can enslave us, or it can provide freedom, all depending upon how it is used.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/anger-can-enslave-us-or-it-can-provide-freedom-all-depending-upon-how/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Your feelings do not lie to you; however, they may be based upon a false thought,or a true thought, or based upon incomplete information.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/your-feelings-do-not-lie-to-you-however-they-may-be-based-upon-a/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“From our behavior, we obtain certain results, and these results reinforce our beliefs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/from-our-behavior-we-obtain-certain-results-and-these-results/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Strong feelings associated with an event can keep memories alive forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/strong-feelings-associated-with-an-event-can-keep-memories-alive/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [I never had an anger problem until I had kids.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jim-bob-duggar/i-never-had-an-anger-problem-until-i-had-kids/) [Jim Bob Duggar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jim-bob-duggar/) > [“Or let’s say you have an anger problem. You get pissed off at the stupidest, most inane stuff, and you have no idea why.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mark-manson/or-let-s-say-you-have-an-anger-problem-you-get-pissed-off-at-the/) [Mark Manson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mark-manson/) ## More by David W. Earle LPC > [“Strong feelings associated with an event can keep memories alive forever.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/strong-feelings-associated-with-an-event-can-keep-memories-alive/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Life is a learning experience and this is a very peaceful method of accepting the reality you face…”What will I learn?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/life-is-a-learning-experience-and-this-is-a-very-peaceful-method-of/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“From our behavior, we obtain certain results, and these results reinforce our beliefs.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/from-our-behavior-we-obtain-certain-results-and-these-results/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Your feelings do not lie to you; however, they may be based upon a false thought,or a true thought, or based upon incomplete information.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/your-feelings-do-not-lie-to-you-however-they-may-be-based-upon-a/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Fearing the judgment of others I condemned myself … failing in my quest for perfection the oppressive weight of judgment steadily pressing upon my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/fearing-the-judgment-of-others-i-condemned-myself-failing-in-my-quest/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Anger can enslave us, or it can provide freedom, all depending upon how it is used.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/anger-can-enslave-us-or-it-can-provide-freedom-all-depending-upon-how/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Listing someone else’s faults is taking someone else’s inventory, and usually starts conflict.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/listing-someone-else-s-faults-is-taking-someone-else-s-inventory-and/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Anger has two benefits: it provides a warning and the necessary energy for change.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/anger-has-two-benefits-it-provides-a-warning-and-the-necessary-energy/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“When anger is used correctly, it can have positive results!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/when-anger-is-used-correctly-it-can-have-positive-results/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“As a little boy, when I would get angry, my mother would say, “Count to ten.” Try as I might, I could not make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/as-a-little-boy-when-i-would-get-angry-my-mother-would-say-count-to/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“No matter how I want things to stay the same, no matter how discomforting change can be, I am stuck with the certainty that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/no-matter-how-i-want-things-to-stay-the-same-no-matter-how/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“When we are not connected with our emotions, we are not connected to ourselves.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/when-we-are-not-connected-with-our-emotions-we-are-not-connected-to/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Often, we will stay in a miserable status quo until the misery finally exceeds the resistance to change. True wisdom is seeing the future:…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/often-we-will-stay-in-a-miserable-status-quo-until-the-misery-finally/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“We can be safe and live with other defined truths exemplified by a capital “T” or we can change and with our limited time…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/we-can-be-safe-and-live-with-other-defined-truths-exemplified-by-a/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“No one can make you angry! No one can make you mad! You get to choose.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/no-one-can-make-you-angry-no-one-can-make-you-mad-you-get-to-choose/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) [Explore all 19 David W. Earle LPC quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) ## More Anger quotes > [“If I let myself think of it the pain and anger were still fresh, adrenalin racing down my limbs to pool, hot and itchy,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kylie-ladd/if-i-let-myself-think-of-it-the-pain-and-anger-were-still-fresh/) [Kylie Ladd](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kylie-ladd/) > [I receive something we might euphemistically call an 'inappropriately hostile' response - that is to say, more than fair criticism or even fair anger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mary-beard/i-receive-something-we-might-euphemistically-call-an-inappropriately/) [Mary Beard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mary-beard/) > [The vision of the left, full of envy and resentment, takes its worst toll on those at the bottom - whether black or white…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/thomas-sowell/the-vision-of-the-left-full-of-envy-and-resentment-takes-its-worst/) [Thomas Sowell](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/thomas-sowell/) > [Anger is a rough water; if you can canalize it into a water mill, you can benefit from it. Anything bad can be transformed…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/mehmet-murat-ildan/anger-is-a-rough-water-if-you-can-canalize-it-into-a-water-mill-you/) [Mehmet Murat Ildan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/mehmet-murat-ildan/) > [“Some say the Earth is angry Because he wants no company; I say the Earth is angry Because he lives alone.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/n-k-jemisin/some-say-the-earth-is-angry-because-he-wants-no-company-i-say-the/) [N.K. Jemisin](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/n-k-jemisin/) > [“When you feel terribly angry, you're possessed by anger ghost.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/toba-beta/when-you-feel-terribly-angry-you-re-possessed-by-anger-ghost/) [Toba Beta](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/toba-beta/) > [“Medical studies have shown that cursing reduces levels of stress and pain. Repressing your anger is not healthy. It's much better to verbalize it,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/oliver-markus-malloy/medical-studies-have-shown-that-cursing-reduces-levels-of-stress-and/) [Oliver Markus Malloy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/oliver-markus-malloy/) > [My care will be in the heart n not in words My anger will be in Words n not in the Heart](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatourey/my-care-will-be-in-the-heart-n-not-in-words-my-anger-will-be-in-words/) [Ritu Ghatourey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ritu-ghatourey/) > [You should be angry. You must not be bitter. Bitterness is like cancer. It eats upon the host. It doesn't do anything to the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/maya-angelou/you-should-be-angry-you-must-not-be-bitter-bitterness-is-like-cancer/) [Maya Angelou](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/maya-angelou/) > [To be a Negro in this country and to be relatively conscious is to be in a rage almost all the time.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-be-a-negro-in-this-country-and-to-be-relatively-conscious-is-to-be/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“God, you had enough time to have been through it three times. You've been through my stuff. I bet you over and let one…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/god-you-had-enough-time-to-have-been-through-it-three-times-you-ve/) [Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/) > [The present contains nothing more than the past, and what is found in the effect was already in the cause.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henri-bergson/the-present-contains-nothing-more-than-the-past-and-what-is-found-in/) [Henri Bergson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henri-bergson/) > [Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-wright/depression-is-merely-anger-without-enthusiasm/) [Steven Wright](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-wright/) > [I always fight better when my opponent's angry.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-haye/i-always-fight-better-when-my-opponent-s-angry/) [David Haye](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-haye/) > [ “Where there are kashays (anger-pride-deceit-greed), there is worldly life. As long as anger-pride-deceit-greed exist; one is a sansaari \[living a worldly life\] regardless of… ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dada-bhagwan/where-there-are-kashays-anger-pride-deceit-greed-there-is-worldly/) [Dada Bhagwan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dada-bhagwan/) [Browse all 7,469 Anger quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/anger/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“The anger in itself was not the problem. The lack of anger management and the inappropriate expression of this anger is what doomed your relationship . . . sucked the love right out of it!”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David W. 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