--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: It is very difficult to develop a proper…" description: "\"“It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one’s own character..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg" --- # It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of… ![“It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one’s own character defects becomes so overwhelming there is no room for inward focus. People so afflicted think: “I need to keep you from knowing me. I have already…” quote by David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg) > ““It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one’s own character defects becomes so overwhelming there is no room for inward focus. People so afflicted think: “I need to keep you from knowing me. I have already rejected me, but if you knew how flawed I am, you would also reject me…and since this is all I have, I could not stand any more rejection. I am not worthy of someone understanding me so you will not get the chance...so I must judge, reject, attack, and/or find fault with you. I don’t accept me so how can I accept you?”” [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. In dysfunctional families, low self-esteem leads to self‑rejection and projecting criticism onto others, creating a cycle of hurt. **In simple terms:** Low self‑esteem causes self‑rejection and hurtful projections. Key Takeaway Build self‑compassion and set healthy boundaries. Themes self‑esteem family dynamics psychology Mood reflective empathetic Type therapeutic motivational When to use this quote - therapy - family counseling - personal growth - support groups Key Concepts attachment theory self‑criticism defense mechanisms Questions to Reflect On - What inner narratives fuel your self‑rejection? - How can you practice self‑acceptance? A Different Perspective Healing requires confronting inner wounds, not just external judgments. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Acceptence](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/acceptence/) [Dysfunction](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dysfunction/) [Dysfunctional family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dysfunctional-family/) [Dysfunctional relationship](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dysfunctional-relationship/) [Dysfunctional-families](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/dysfunctional-families/) [Esteem Dysfunctional](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/esteem-dysfunctional-6059425/) [Family](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/family/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Love hurts](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love-hurts/) [Rejection](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/rejection/) [Self esteem](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-esteem/) [Self help](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-help/) [Self worth](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/self-worth/) ## Related quotes > [“We are in the era of dysfunctional relationships.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/steven-magee/we-are-in-the-era-of-dysfunctional-relationships/) [Steven Magee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/steven-magee/) > [“And could you, from a place of love, actually stand up and, use force, to give someone back, the suffering, they were trying to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/t-scott-mcleod/and-could-you-from-a-place-of-love-actually-stand-up-and-use-force-to/) [T. Scott McLeod](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/t-scott-mcleod/) > [“Families living in dysfunction seldom have healthy boundaries. Dysfunctional families have trouble knowing where they stop and others begin.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/families-living-in-dysfunction-seldom-have-healthy-boundaries/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“My sister only has one side of the story but she is sure that she knows the whole story because that is how the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/darlene-ouimet/my-sister-only-has-one-side-of-the-story-but-she-is-sure-that-she/) [Darlene Ouimet](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/darlene-ouimet/) > [“One needn't stop dysfunction; just evince and reflect.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andy-harglesis/one-needn-t-stop-dysfunction-just-evince-and-reflect/) [Andy Harglesis](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andy-harglesis/) > [“You did not invent these family habits. Your family is like mine, for thousands and thousands of years our families have embraced a dysfunctional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/you-did-not-invent-these-family-habits-your-family-is-like-mine-for/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Since children from dysfunctional families are so good at judging others, they also judge themselves finding themselves unacceptable when compared to others, always assuming…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/since-children-from-dysfunctional-families-are-so-good-at-judging/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“As a parent who raised his children in dysfunction, I know the parental wounds my children received were not intentional; often they were my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/as-a-parent-who-raised-his-children-in-dysfunction-i-know-the/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Teenagers can spot hypocrisy a mile away and here I was telling them how to cope when they witnessed the shambles of my own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/teenagers-can-spot-hypocrisy-a-mile-away-and-here-i-was-telling-them/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bradshaw/perhaps-nothing-so-accurately-characterizes-dysfunctional-families-as-2/) [John Bradshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bradshaw/) > [“Along with the trust issues, one of the hardest parts to deal with is the feeling of not being believed or supported, especially by…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-merryn/along-with-the-trust-issues-one-of-the-hardest-parts-to-deal-with-is/) [Erin Merryn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-merryn/) > [“The happy family is a myth for many.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/carolyn-spring/the-happy-family-is-a-myth-for-many/) [Carolyn Spring](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/carolyn-spring/) > [“You were tossed away like a pair of beautiful, brand new shoes that did not quite fit.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/donna-k-childree/you-were-tossed-away-like-a-pair-of-beautiful-brand-new-shoes-that/) [Donna K. Childree](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/donna-k-childree/) > [“Perhaps nothing so accurately characterizes dysfunctional families as denial. The denial forces members to keep believing the myths and vital lies in spite of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/john-bradshaw/perhaps-nothing-so-accurately-characterizes-dysfunctional-families-as/) [John Bradshaw](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/john-bradshaw/) > [“She was so upset about a blog that maybe a total of six people read yet had no compassion for her granddaughters who had…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/erin-merryn/she-was-so-upset-about-a-blog-that-maybe-a-total-of-six-people-read/) [Erin Merryn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/erin-merryn/) ## More by David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough > [“The more severe the dysfunction you experienced growing up, the more difficult boundaries are for you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/the-more-severe-the-dysfunction-you-experienced-growing-up-the-more/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“If no one has boundaries…how can there be any transgression?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/if-no-one-has-boundaries-how-can-there-be-any-transgression/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Being judgmental is a form of attack keeping others off balance.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/being-judgmental-is-a-form-of-attack-keeping-others-off-balance/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Mature adults gravitate toward new values and understandings, not just rehashing and blind acceptance of past patterns and previous learning. This is an ongoing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/mature-adults-gravitate-toward-new-values-and-understandings-not-just/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“The greater the pain associated with love, the more likely a person is to be attracted to others who will inflict this pain…for isn’t…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/the-greater-the-pain-associated-with-love-the-more-likely-a-person-is/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“...the state of perfection is an elusive goal; demanding something so obscure as almost unattainable and can become a compulsive, crazy making squirrel-on-a-wheel way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/the-state-of-perfection-is-an-elusive-goal-demanding-something-so/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Change is hard, difficult, painful, and often messy”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/change-is-hard-difficult-painful-and-often-messy/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“People who are unwilling to talk about deep personal issues do not trust their own emotions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/people-who-are-unwilling-to-talk-about-deep-personal-issues-do-not/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“People pay a dear price when not dealing with the powerful emotions.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/people-pay-a-dear-price-when-not-dealing-with-the-powerful-emotions/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“This is what we desire in intimate relationships but this deep connection is often so frightful that most do not take advantage of the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/this-is-what-we-desire-in-intimate-relationships-but-this-deep/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Honoring your word is the fiber from which trust is built.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/honoring-your-word-is-the-fiber-from-which-trust-is-built/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Teenagers can spot hypocrisy a mile away and here I was telling them how to cope when they witnessed the shambles of my own…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/teenagers-can-spot-hypocrisy-a-mile-away-and-here-i-was-telling-them/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Our parents were our first gods. If parents are loving, nurturing, and kind, this becomes the child’s definition of the creator. If parents were…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/our-parents-were-our-first-gods-if-parents-are-loving-nurturing-and/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Putting labels on others creates a black hole of disregard where judgment thrives and schisms deepen.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/putting-labels-on-others-creates-a-black-hole-of-disregard-where/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Many people look at their past and bemoan their mistakes. Those errors in judgment, behavior, hurting others, and the wrong decisions may be what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/many-people-look-at-their-past-and-bemoan-their-mistakes-those-errors/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) [Explore all 66 David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) ## More Acceptence quotes > [“Whatever you is, Onion," he said, "be it full.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-mcbride/whatever-you-is-onion-he-said-be-it-full/) [James McBride](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-mcbride/) > [“Accept that you can and will do what you must do, to take good care of yourself.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/accept-that-you-can-and-will-do-what-you-must-do-to-take-good-care-of/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) > [“The soul accepts the mystery within and all around, immersing itself in it, celebrating it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-woodman/the-soul-accepts-the-mystery-within-and-all-around-immersing-itself/) [Jay Woodman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-woodman/) > [“...the state of perfection is an elusive goal; demanding something so obscure as almost unattainable and can become a compulsive, crazy making squirrel-on-a-wheel way…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/the-state-of-perfection-is-an-elusive-goal-demanding-something-so/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“The most difficult thing a failure can do is accept his identity or status”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nathanael-kanyinga/the-most-difficult-thing-a-failure-can-do-is-accept-his-identity-or/) [Nathanael Kanyinga](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nathanael-kanyinga/) > [“Life is a learning experience and this is a very peaceful method of accepting the reality you face…”What will I learn?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc/life-is-a-learning-experience-and-this-is-a-very-peaceful-method-of/) [David W. Earle LPC](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc/) > [“Many people look at their past and bemoan their mistakes. Those errors in judgment, behavior, hurting others, and the wrong decisions may be what…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/many-people-look-at-their-past-and-bemoan-their-mistakes-those-errors/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“You did not invent these family habits. Your family is like mine, for thousands and thousands of years our families have embraced a dysfunctional…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/you-did-not-invent-these-family-habits-your-family-is-like-mine-for/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“When someone obtains peace and serenity, this shines a bright spotlight on others’ own unhappiness making their discomfort even more apparent.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/when-someone-obtains-peace-and-serenity-this-shines-a-bright/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Acceptance” is the most beautiful word in the English language.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle/acceptance-is-the-most-beautiful-word-in-the-english-language/) [David W Earle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle/) > [“Controlling others is the cornerstone of dysfunctional families.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/controlling-others-is-the-cornerstone-of-dysfunctional-families/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Accept the fullness in life's balance, which demands that there are positive gifts along with adversity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bryant-mcgill/accept-the-fullness-in-life-s-balance-which-demands-that-there-are/) [Bryant McGill](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bryant-mcgill/) > [“When we leave this life, we only get to take two things: the love we received and the lessons we learned.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle/when-we-leave-this-life-we-only-get-to-take-two-things-the-love-we/) [David W Earle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle/) > [“Acceptance is the most beautiful word in any language; this beautiful concept can only exist when you allow other people to be who they…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/acceptance-is-the-most-beautiful-word-in-any-language-this-beautiful/) [David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/) > [“Real humility is not about denying the gifts you are offered; it is accepting them.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/alan-cohen/real-humility-is-not-about-denying-the-gifts-you-are-offered-it-is/) [Alan Cohen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/alan-cohen/) [Browse all 24 Acceptence quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/acceptence/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little self-worth, looking at one’s own character defects becomes so overwhelming there is no room for inward focus. People so afflicted think: “I need to keep you from knowing me. I have already rejected me, but if you knew how flawed I am, you would also reject me…and since this is all I have, I could not stand any more rejection. I am not worthy of someone understanding me so you will not get the chance...so I must judge, reject, attack, and/or find fault with you. I don’t accept me so how can I accept you?”", "creator": { "@type": "Person", "name": "David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough" }, "isPartOf": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website" }, "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper-sense-of-self-esteem-in-a/", "about": { "@type": "Thing", "name": "Acceptence" }, "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper-sense-of-self-esteem-in-a/#quotation", "image": { "@type": "ImageObject", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg", "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/9b1/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not_acceptence_it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper_2409192.jpg", "width": 1080, "height": 1080, "caption": "“It is very difficult to develop a proper sense of self-esteem in a dysfunctional family. Having very little…” — David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough", "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "creator": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } } }, { "@type": "BreadcrumbList", "itemListElement": [ { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 1, "name": "Home", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 2, "name": "Quotes", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 3, "name": "David W. Earle LPC- Love is Not Enough", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/" }, { "@type": "ListItem", "position": 4, "name": "“It is very difficult to develop...", "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper-sense-of-self-esteem-in-a/" } ], "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-w-earle-lpc-love-is-not-enough/it-is-very-difficult-to-develop-a-proper-sense-of-self-esteem-in-a/#breadcrumb" }, { "@type": "WebSite", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "publisher": { "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization" } }, { "@type": "Organization", "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization", "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/", "logo": { "@type": "ImageObject", "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png", "width": 512, "height": 512 } } ] } ```