--- title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Em, we've known each other five or six…" description: "\"“Em, we've known each other five or six years now, but two years properly, as, you know, 'friends', which isn't that long but I think I know a bit abou..." image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fab/david-nicholls-873_money_em-we-ve-known-each-other-five-or-six-ye_1891123.jpg" --- # Em, we've known each other five or six years now, but two… ![“Em, we've known each other five or six years now, but two years properly, as, you know, 'friends', which isn't that long but I think I know a bit about you and I think I know what your problem is. Here it is. I think you're scared of being happy, Emma. I think you think that the natural way of…” quote by David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fab/david-nicholls-873_money_em-we-ve-known-each-other-five-or-six-ye_1891123.jpg) [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fab/david-nicholls-873_money_em-we-ve-known-each-other-five-or-six-ye_1891123.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/fab/david-nicholls-873_money_em-we-ve-known-each-other-five-or-six-ye_1891123.jpg) > ““Em, we've known each other five or six years now, but two years properly, as, you know, 'friends', which isn't that long but I think I know a bit about you and I think I know what your problem is. Here it is. I think you're scared of being happy, Emma. I think you think that the natural way of things is for your life to be grim and grey and dour and to hate your job, hate where you live, not to have success or money or God forbid a boyfriend. In fact, I think I'll go further and say that I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it.”” [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) ## About This Quote This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation. The speaker suggests Emma avoids happiness, preferring gloom and failure because it feels safer and easier to mock. **In simple terms:** Emma may fear joy, choosing disappointment as a defense. Key Takeaway Recognize and confront fear of happiness. Themes fear self‑sabotage mental health relationships Mood anxious reflective Type dialogue character‑driven When to use this quote - career dissatisfaction - personal relationships - self‑esteem issues - therapy sessions Key Concepts self‑fulfilling prophecy defense mechanisms cognitive dissonance Questions to Reflect On - What fears keep you from pursuing joy? - How does self‑sabotage protect you? A Different Perspective The view may oversimplify complex emotional patterns and ignore external constraints. ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ No ratings yet [Emma Think](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/emma-think-468656/) [Failure Unhappiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/failure-unhappiness-468655/) [Money](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/money/) [Scared Happy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/scared-happy-468654/) [Two years](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/two-years/) [Unhappiness](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unhappiness/) [Unhappiness Easier](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/unhappiness-easier-468653/) ## Related quotes > [“I think you're scared of being happy, Emma. I think you think that the natural way of things is for your life to be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/i-think-you-re-scared-of-being-happy-emma-i-think-you-think-that-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Failure and unhappiness is easier because you can make a joke out of it.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/failure-and-unhappiness-is-easier-because-you-can-make-a-joke-out-of/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? Failure and unhappiness is easier because…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/i-think-you-actually-get-a-kick-out-of-being-disappointed-and-under/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [The sense of unhappiness is so much easier to convey than that of happiness. In misery we seem aware of our own existence, even…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/the-sense-of-unhappiness-is-so-much-easier-to-convey-than-that-of/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [Emma: I think monogamy goes against our basic biology.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/no-strings-attached-movie/emma-i-think-monogamy-goes-against-our-basic-biology/) [No Strings Attached (Movie](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/no-strings-attached-movie/) > [“The sense of unhappiness is so much easier to convey than that of happiness.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/graham-greene/the-sense-of-unhappiness-is-so-much-easier-to-convey-than-that-of-2/) [Graham Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/graham-greene/) > [To grumble about the world and its unhappiness is always easier than to beat one's breast and groan over oneself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/to-grumble-about-the-world-and-its-unhappiness-is-always-easier-than/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [If I don't feel like I'm doing the job well, and I don't know how to get there, or I'm too scared, or whatever,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-seymour-hoffman/if-i-don-t-feel-like-i-m-doing-the-job-well-and-i-don-t-know-how-to/) [Philip Seymour Hoffman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-seymour-hoffman/) > [Here's to the kids who are scared of being happy because every time they're happy, something bad happens.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/here-s-to-the-kids-who-are-scared-of-being-happy-because-every-time/) [Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/) > [“That time we separated was my idea. I thought, well, I'm fifty years old and there might be someone else out there. People waste…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wally-lamb/that-time-we-separated-was-my-idea-i-thought-well-i-m-fifty-years-old/) [Wally Lamb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wally-lamb/) > [I mean putting yourself out there in the way of overwhelming happiness and knowing you're also putting yourself in the way of terrible harm.…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ann-brashares/i-mean-putting-yourself-out-there-in-the-way-of-overwhelming/) [Ann Brashares](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ann-brashares/) > [You have to show the character is confused or scared or happy through your voice instead of with your face and body.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joey-king/you-have-to-show-the-character-is-confused-or-scared-or-happy-through/) [Joey King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joey-king/) > [The chief cause of failure and unhappiness is trading what you want most for what you want right now](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/zig-ziglar/the-chief-cause-of-failure-and-unhappiness-is-trading-what-you-want/) [Zig Ziglar](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/zig-ziglar/) > [People waste their happiness - that's what makes me sad. Everyone's so scared to be happy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wally-lamb/people-waste-their-happiness-that-s-what-makes-me-sad-everyone-s-so/) [Wally Lamb](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/wally-lamb/) > [“Those who lack a central purpose in life fall prey to worries, fears, and petty troubles, and end up stuck in self-pity. They may…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/james-allen/those-who-lack-a-central-purpose-in-life-fall-prey-to-worries-fears/) [James Allen](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/james-allen/) ## More by David Nicholls > [These days grief seems like walking on a frozen river; most of the time he feels safe enough, but there is always that danger…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/these-days-grief-seems-like-walking-on-a-frozen-river-most-of-the/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“Good God, 'the elusive thing'. She had reached a turning point. She no longer believed that a situation could be made better by writing…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/good-god-the-elusive-thing-she-had-reached-a-turning-point-she-no/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Emma was a shocking driver, simultaneously sloppy and petrified, and for the first fifty miles had been absent-mindedly driving with her spectacles on top…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/emma-was-a-shocking-driver-simultaneously-sloppy-and-petrified-and/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [I still find it absurdly difficult to concentrate on a novel if there's a phone or computer to hand; I have taken to locking…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/i-still-find-it-absurdly-difficult-to-concentrate-on-a-novel-if-there/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [You've got to stop letting women slip drugs into your mouth, Dex, it's unhygienic. And dangerous. One day it'll be a cyanide capsule.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/you-ve-got-to-stop-letting-women-slip-drugs-into-your-mouth-dex-it-s/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“He presses two fingers against each eye and attempts to account for this crippling melancholy, but is having trouble with rational thought. It feels…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/he-presses-two-fingers-against-each-eye-and-attempts-to-account-for/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“Live each day as if it's our last', that was the conventional advice, but really who had the energy for that? What if it…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/live-each-day-as-if-it-s-our-last-that-was-the-conventional-advice/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [She was reaching the limits of how much its possible to change a man](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/she-was-reaching-the-limits-of-how-much-its-possible-to-change-a-man/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“How would she fill the days? She had no idea. The trick of it, she told herself, is to be courageous and bold and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/how-would-she-fill-the-days-she-had-no-idea-the-trick-of-it-she-told/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [“What if it rained or you felt a bit glandy? It just wasn't practical. Better by far to simply try and be good and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/what-if-it-rained-or-you-felt-a-bit-glandy-it-just-wasn-t-practical/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Sometimes, when it is going badly, she wonders if what she believes to be a love of the written word is really just a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/sometimes-when-it-is-going-badly-she-wonders-if-what-she-believes-to/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [The city had defeated her, just like they said it would. Like some overcrowded party, no one had noticed her arrival, and would notice…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/the-city-had-defeated-her-just-like-they-said-it-would-like-some/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Better by far to be good and courageous and bold and to make difference. Not change the world exactly, but the bit around you](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/better-by-far-to-be-good-and-courageous-and-bold-and-to-make/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [A screenplay is really an instruction manual, and it can be interpreted in any number of ways. The casting, the choice of location, the…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/a-screenplay-is-really-an-instruction-manual-and-it-can-be/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) > [Most of the books and films I love walk a knife edge between romance and cynicism, and I wanted 'One Day' to stay on…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-nicholls/most-of-the-books-and-films-i-love-walk-a-knife-edge-between-romance/) [David Nicholls](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) [Explore all 332 David Nicholls quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-nicholls/) ## More Money quotes > [You've got to tell your money what to do or it will leave.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/dave-ramsey/you-ve-got-to-tell-your-money-what-to-do-or-it-will-leave/) [Dave Ramsey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/dave-ramsey/) > [Don't let's lose sight of what creates wealth. It is open markets, it is capitalism.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/rupert-murdoch/don-t-let-s-lose-sight-of-what-creates-wealth-it-is-open-markets-it/) [Rupert Murdoch](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/rupert-murdoch/) > [If I had a dollar for every time I couldn’t sleep, I could buy a billion locks and finally read a book in peace.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/aesop-rock/if-i-had-a-dollar-for-every-time-i-couldn-t-sleep-i-could-buy-a/) [Aesop Rock](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/aesop-rock/) > [Money is the kind of instrument which is very speedily produced.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anatoly-chubais/money-is-the-kind-of-instrument-which-is-very-speedily-produced/) [Anatoly Chubais](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anatoly-chubais/) > [I would borrow money all day long, if the cost of borrowing is less than the expected return.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/brad-schneider/i-would-borrow-money-all-day-long-if-the-cost-of-borrowing-is-less/) [Brad Schneider](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/brad-schneider/) > [If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jay-leno/if-you-restore-a-car-and-you-re-making-money-then-you-re-doing-it/) [Jay Leno](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jay-leno/) > [Maybe you can,t buy a big house.. A new car.. A huge diamond ring.. But if you have just one true friend who loves…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/cathy/maybe-you-can-t-buy-a-big-house-a-new-car-a-huge-diamond-ring-but-if/) [Cathy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/cathy/) > [“Don't allow money to become the yardstick by which you measure the worth of the world around you!”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/andrew-james-pritchard/don-t-allow-money-to-become-the-yardstick-by-which-you-measure-the/) [Andrew James Pritchard](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/andrew-james-pritchard/) > [Academically, I was never that interested. I skipped classes. My biggest dream was to have a coffee shop, but I had no idea how…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/daniel-espinosa/academically-i-was-never-that-interested-i-skipped-classes-my-biggest/) [Daniel Espinosa](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/daniel-espinosa/) > [Amongst the financial Twitterati, the term 'muppets' has come to describe any client used and abused by some financial predator. I've adopted the term…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/barry-ritholtz/amongst-the-financial-twitterati-the-term-muppets-has-come-to/) [Barry Ritholtz](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/barry-ritholtz/) > [I doubt that we Americans can come to terms with our money neuroses without understanding the more florid pathology of the very rich for…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/philip-slater/i-doubt-that-we-americans-can-come-to-terms-with-our-money-neuroses/) [Philip Slater](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/philip-slater/) > [“The writer must earn money in order to be able to live and to write, but he must by no means live and write…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jeff-goins/the-writer-must-earn-money-in-order-to-be-able-to-live-and-to-write/) [Jeff Goins](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jeff-goins/) > [Jobs and money are never the primary cause of stress. Thinking, negative thinking causes stress. The real cause of all problems lie in our…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/bob-proctor/jobs-and-money-are-never-the-primary-cause-of-stress-thinking/) [Bob Proctor](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/bob-proctor/) > [Most paper money initially existed as a substitute for gold. That's what gave it value. But right now what gives a currency value is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/peter-schiff/most-paper-money-initially-existed-as-a-substitute-for-gold-that-s/) [Peter Schiff](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/peter-schiff/) > [The man who works for the gold in the job rather than for the money in the pay envelope, is the fellow who gets…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-french-johnson/the-man-who-works-for-the-gold-in-the-job-rather-than-for-the-money/) [Joseph French Johnson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-french-johnson/) [Browse all 45,172 Money quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/money/) ```json { "@context": "https://schema.org", "@graph": [ { "@type": "Quotation", "text": "“Em, we've known each other five or six years now, but two years properly, as, you know, 'friends', which isn't that long but I think I know a bit about you and I think I know what your problem is. Here it is. I think you're scared of being happy, Emma. I think you think that the natural way of things is for your life to be grim and grey and dour and to hate your job, hate where you live, not to have success or money or God forbid a boyfriend. In fact, I think I'll go further and say that I think you actually get a kick out of being disappointed and under-achieving, because it's easier, isn't it? 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