---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: So there we were. Once upon a time…"
description: "\"“So there we were. Once upon a time, during the storybook version of dating we'd gone through, I'd pretended that it was possible to love her when I on..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg"
---

#  So there we were. Once upon a time, during the storybook…

![“So there we were. Once upon a time, during the storybook version of dating we'd gone through, I'd pretended that it was possible to love her when I only mildly liked her. Now I had no desire to pretend we'd ever be in love, and I liked her madly. 'Can we try to be wise with each other for a very…” quote by David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg)

> ““So there we were. Once upon a time, during the storybook version of dating we'd gone through, I'd pretended that it was possible to love her when I only mildly liked her. Now I had no desire to pretend we'd ever be in love, and I liked her madly. 'Can we try to be wise with each other for a very long time?' I asked her. She laughed. 'You mean, can we share our fuckups and see if we can get any wisdom out of them?' 'Yeah,' I said. 'That would be nice.””

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A speaker proposes honest, long‑term partnership built on sharing mistakes to gain wisdom.

**In simple terms:** Ask for a wise, honest relationship.

Key Takeaway

Seek openness and learning together.

Themes

relationships honesty growth

Mood

hopeful reflective

Type

advice conversational romantic

When to use this quote

- dating
- long‑term partnership
- conflict resolution
- personal development

Key Concepts

communication vulnerability wisdom shared experience

Questions to Reflect On

- How can you create a safe space for sharing mistakes?
- What wisdom have you gained from past relationship errors?

A Different Perspective

Both partners must be willing to expose flaws, which can be uncomfortable.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Ex boyfriends](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ex-boyfriends/) [Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/) [Time](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/time/)

## Related quotes

> [me: just don't ask about his forty-three ex-boyfriends, okay? or ask him about why he's carrying around an axe. mom:... me: i'm kidding about…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/me-just-don-t-ask-about-his-forty-three-ex-boyfriends-okay-or-ask-him/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“I'd stop the world from spinning for you." That silly line oddly touched me. "I love you." "Liked that one, did you.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-day/i-d-stop-the-world-from-spinning-for-you-that-silly-line-oddly/)

[Sylvia Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-day/)

> [What’s a little calming distraction for your girlfriend in the midst of world entertainment domination?” “I’d stop the world from spinning for you.” That…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/sylvia-day/what-s-a-little-calming-distraction-for-your-girlfriend-in-the-midst/)

[Sylvia Day](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/sylvia-day/)

> [“She said she was breaking up with me because I didn't know how to express my emotions. The thing is, I didn't have that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/m-j-hyland/she-said-she-was-breaking-up-with-me-because-i-didn-t-know-how-to/)

M.J. Hyland

> [Love as if you liked yourself, and it may happen.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/marge-piercy/love-as-if-you-liked-yourself-and-it-may-happen/)

[Marge Piercy](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/marge-piercy/)

> [“I don’t think that I’ve been in love as such Although I liked a few folk pretty well Love must be vaster than my…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/neil-gaiman/i-don-t-think-that-i-ve-been-in-love-as-such-although-i-liked-a-few/)

[Neil Gaiman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/neil-gaiman/)

> [I never expected you to love me, but I would have liked to have you love me as much as I love you.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/i-never-expected-you-to-love-me-but-i-would-have-liked-to-have-you/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Take me back to those days, when you knew of my love, yet liked me nonetheless, and when I smiled at you, you smiled…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/c-madan/take-me-back-to-those-days-when-you-knew-of-my-love-yet-liked-me/)

C. Madan

> [“He called me "love". I liked that. A lot.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/kristi-cook/he-called-me-love-i-liked-that-a-lot/)

[Kristi Cook](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/kristi-cook/)

> [You can't actually have a romance between friends. That sort of defeats the definition of the word "romance." The word you're looking for is…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/you-can-t-actually-have-a-romance-between-friends-that-sort-of/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“Oh, do not pretend you are in love with me,” she said, stiffening. “Very well,” he said, stopping. “I will not pretend.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/elena-greene/oh-do-not-pretend-you-are-in-love-with-me-she-said-stiffening-very/)

[Elena Greene](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/elena-greene/)

> [I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model but, I'm…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ritu-ghatorey/i-m-not-hot-or-gorgeous-i-don-t-have-an-amazing-figure-or-a-flat/)

Ritu Ghatorey

> [“they pretend to love while i pretend to lose”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/abdinasir/they-pretend-to-love-while-i-pretend-to-lose/)

Abdinasir

> [Don't be ashamed if you don't like what others pretend to love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/emma-watson/don-t-be-ashamed-if-you-don-t-like-what-others-pretend-to-love/)

[Emma Watson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/emma-watson/)

> [Some people pretend they never were in love and never wrote poetry; two weaknesses which they dare not own -- one of the heart,…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jean-de-la-bruyere/some-people-pretend-they-never-were-in-love-and-never-wrote-poetry/)

[Jean de la Bruyere](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jean-de-la-bruyere/)

## More by David Levithan

> [“When you jump, all you're going to do is fall. But leaping? Leaping is when you think there's something on the other side.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/when-you-jump-all-you-re-going-to-do-is-fall-but-leaping-leaping-is/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“The past and the future are what's complicated. It's the present that's simple. And the simplicity is the sensation of it being just her…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/the-past-and-the-future-are-what-s-complicated-it-s-the-present-that/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“I hate the way you talk to me And the way you cut your hair I hate the way you drive my car I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/i-hate-the-way-you-talk-to-me-and-the-way-you-cut-your-hair-i-hate/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [You could be the leaf that never falls from the tree you could be the sun that never leaves the sky this might be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/you-could-be-the-leaf-that-never-falls-from-the-tree-you-could-be-the/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“Patrick: Is she worth the trouble? Cameron: I thought she was- Patrick: Either she is, or she isn't. So give it a shot, or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/patrick-is-she-worth-the-trouble-cameron-i-thought-she-was-patrick/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“We saw our friends die. But we also see our friends live. So many of them live, and we often toast their long and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/we-saw-our-friends-die-but-we-also-see-our-friends-live-so-many-of/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [maybe tonight you're scared of falling, and maybe there's somebody here or somewhere else you're thinking about, worrying over, fretting over, trying to figure…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/maybe-tonight-you-re-scared-of-falling-and-maybe-there-s-somebody/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“You never told me what you saw in him, not convincingly.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/you-never-told-me-what-you-saw-in-him-not-convincingly/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“i nod to the other will grayson, up onstage. he nods to me. we have something between us, him and me. but the truth?…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/i-nod-to-the-other-will-grayson-up-onstage-he-nods-to-me-we-have/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [The terrorists-those nineteen people, with hundreds or maybe thousands behind them-did the worst thing you can possibly imagine. But tens of millions people did…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/the-terrorists-those-nineteen-people-with-hundreds-or-maybe-thousands/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [But I still has enough longing for that concept that I didn't want to dispel it completely. Meaning: I didn't want to tell Lily…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/but-i-still-has-enough-longing-for-that-concept-that-i-didn-t-want-to/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“When you break someone's heart, you also break yours.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/when-you-break-someone-s-heart-you-also-break-yours/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“Because toward the end all the words started leaving. Except for the ones that had to lock up at the end of the night.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/because-toward-the-end-all-the-words-started-leaving-except-for-the/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“ misgivings , n . Last night, I got up the courage to ask you if you regretted us. "There are things I miss,"…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/misgivings-n-last-night-i-got-up-the-courage-to-ask-you-if-you/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

> [“Saving others is always more important than saving yourself. It has to be, or none of us would do any good.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/saving-others-is-always-more-important-than-saving-yourself-it-has-to/)

[David Levithan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

[Explore all 1,648 David Levithan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/)

## More Ex boyfriends quotes

> [Ex boyfriends, are like an old pair of shoes. You know that you don't need them anymore but you don't have the heart to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/ex-boyfriends-are-like-an-old-pair-of-shoes-you-know-that-you-don-t/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“Thank you so much for the rude know-it-all attitude while also having to look at your ridiculously colored hair and obnoxious facial and chest…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/heather-chapple/thank-you-so-much-for-the-rude-know-it-all-attitude-while-also-having/)

Heather Chapple

> [“Italian food trumps ex-boyfriends every time,”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/ilsa-madden-mills/italian-food-trumps-ex-boyfriends-every-time/)

[Ilsa Madden-Mills](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/ilsa-madden-mills/)

> [You cant say you are ignoring me wen yoir staring right in my fac](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jayj/you-cant-say-you-are-ignoring-me-wen-yoir-staring-right-in-my-fac/)

Jayj

> [This is going to make me sound really weird and stalkery, but I've bought the aftershaves of all my ex-boyfriends. Sometimes I like to…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/poppy-delevingne/this-is-going-to-make-me-sound-really-weird-and-stalkery-but-i-ve/)

[Poppy Delevingne](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/poppy-delevingne/)

> [On tour, its either call ex-boyfriends or tweet a lot. Youre just looking for any proof that youre not completely alone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chelsea-peretti/on-tour-its-either-call-ex-boyfriends-or-tweet-a-lot-youre-just/)

[Chelsea Peretti](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chelsea-peretti/)

> [I mean everybody's got ex-boyfriends and girlfriends. Everybody's got baggage.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/nina-dobrev/i-mean-everybody-s-got-ex-boyfriends-and-girlfriends-everybody-s-got/)

[Nina Dobrev](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/nina-dobrev/)

> [“...I feel like a traitor, a phony, a fake. But I am a hypocrite with the best intentions, and I need kissing desperately.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/coco-j-ginger/i-feel-like-a-traitor-a-phony-a-fake-but-i-am-a-hypocrite-with-the/)

Coco J. Ginger

> [Here's a message to ALL my ex boyfriends. Lets face it sweetie, you can go through hundreds of girls, but I hate to disappoint…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/here-s-a-message-to-all-my-ex-boyfriends-lets-face-it-sweetie-you-can/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Enough power to bring you back hehee](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jessica-mcdoodle/enough-power-to-bring-you-back-hehee/)

[Jessica Mcdoodle](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jessica-mcdoodle/)

> [When one of your ex boyfriends getting mad your talking to another guy.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/when-one-of-your-ex-boyfriends-getting-mad-your-talking-to-another-guy/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [Insecure girls go after the taken guys, the guys their friends like, the off limits ex boyfriends of their friends, or any guy that…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jazmin-garcia/insecure-girls-go-after-the-taken-guys-the-guys-their-friends-like/)

[Jazmin Garcia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jazmin-garcia/)

> [“Back To December is a song that addresses a first for me. In that I've never apologized in a song before. Whether it be…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/taylor-swift/back-to-december-is-a-song-that-addresses-a-first-for-me-in-that-i-ve/)

[Taylor Swift](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/taylor-swift/)

> [“I would think you’d have better things to do right now than look up the marital status of my ex-boyfriends on the Internet,” Mom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/meg-cabot/i-would-think-you-d-have-better-things-to-do-right-now-than-look-up/)

[Meg Cabot](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/meg-cabot/)

> [I get so mad about ex-boyfriends, but if a boy hurts me, I don't write a song about it. They don't deserve it!](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/selena/i-get-so-mad-about-ex-boyfriends-but-if-a-boy-hurts-me-i-don-t-write/)

[Selena](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/selena/)

[Browse all 50 Ex boyfriends quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/ex-boyfriends/)

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“So there we were. Once upon a time, during the storybook version of dating we'd gone through, I'd pretended that it was possible to love her when I only mildly liked her. Now I had no desire to pretend we'd ever be in love, and I liked her madly. 'Can we try to be wise with each other for a very long time?' I asked her. She laughed. 'You mean, can we share our fuckups and see if we can get any wisdom out of them?' 'Yeah,' I said. 'That would be nice.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "David Levithan"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during-the-storybook-version-of/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Ex boyfriends"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during-the-storybook-version-of/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/1af/david-levithan-67_ex-boyfriends_so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during_1175653.jpg",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“So there we were. Once upon a time, during the storybook version of dating we'd gone through, I'd pretended…” — David Levithan",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "David Levithan",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-levithan/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“So there we were. Once upon...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during-the-storybook-version-of/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-levithan/so-there-we-were-once-upon-a-time-during-the-storybook-version-of/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
