---
title: "Meaning & Key Takeaway of: Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not…"
description: "\"“Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not anythingI love or know or care about. Because thou shalt not kill, Kade. Thou shalt not kill. With all my heart..."
image: "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png"
---

#  Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not anythingI love or…

![“Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not anythingI love or know or care about. Because thou shalt not kill, Kade. Thou shalt not kill. With all my heart I believed this. And I killed. So what am I now? And why should I live? How am I even alive? Because if this is what our lives are--if doing this…” quote by David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png)   [Download](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png) [Open image](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png)

> ““Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not anythingI love or know or care about. Because thou shalt not kill, Kade. Thou shalt not kill. With all my heart I believed this. And I killed. So what am I now? And why should I live? How am I even alive? Because if this is what our lives are--if doing this to others before they do it to us is all our lives are--we’re already dead. Honest to God I feel it, Kade. I’m dead. The hell with me.””

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

## About This Quote

This interpretation was drafted with AI assistance. It is one reading of the quote, not the author's own explanation.

A confession of existential emptiness after committing violence, questioning purpose and the value of life when one feels morally dead.

**In simple terms:** Despair after killing

Key Takeaway

Violence erodes identity

Themes

existentialism morality violence identity despair

Mood

anguish resignation darkness

Type

confessional philosophical

When to use this quote

- post‑combat reflection
- personal crisis
- guilt
- search for meaning

Key Concepts

moral injury nihilism

Practical Applications

- therapy for trauma
- ethical debates on self‑defense

Questions to Reflect On

- What does it mean to be alive after killing?
- Can remorse restore a sense of self?

★ ★ ★ ★ ★   No ratings yet

[Love](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/about/love/)

## Related quotes

> [“I didn't hurt anymore, didn't feel like hiding anymore, wasn't scared anymore. Because I wasn't anything anymore. Not anything I love or know or…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/i-didn-t-hurt-anymore-didn-t-feel-like-hiding-anymore-wasn-t-scared/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [What makes the rich cry, must've killed the poor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jezreel-scott/what-makes-the-rich-cry-must-ve-killed-the-poor/)

[Jezreel Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jezreel-scott/)

> [“Hey hey Susan Day have you killed any kids today?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/hey-hey-susan-day-have-you-killed-any-kids-today/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

> [Osama Bin Laden is dead. Killed not by a massive troop deployment but by a commando raid carried out by a few dozen highly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-engel/osama-bin-laden-is-dead-killed-not-by-a-massive-troop-deployment-but/)

[Richard Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-engel/)

> [My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-other-brother-in-law-died-he-was-a-karate-expert-then-joined-the/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/the-enemy-is-anybody-who-s-going-to-get-you-killed-no-matter-which/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [My mother, she killed me, My father, he ate me, My sister Marlene, Gathered all my bones, Tied them in a silken scarf, Laid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-mother-she-killed-me-my-father-he-ate-me-my-sister-marlene/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [“How about giving your old man a break here, huh, Chirp?" "Chirp is dead," I hear myself say and watch the flat words destroy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-wiess/how-about-giving-your-old-man-a-break-here-huh-chirp-chirp-is-dead-i/)

[Laura Wiess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-wiess/)

> [“People from IT sent to replace those they’d killed. Juliette’s”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-howey/people-from-it-sent-to-replace-those-they-d-killed-juliette-s/)

[Hugh Howey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-howey/)

> [Lord Raoul asked me to tell you that if you get yourself killed, he will never speak to you again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamora-pierce/lord-raoul-asked-me-to-tell-you-that-if-you-get-yourself-killed-he/)

[Tamora Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamora-pierce/)

> [“But I held him till he relented and just let me pet him and give him some affection. “I love you, Toast. If you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-craven/but-i-held-him-till-he-relented-and-just-let-me-pet-him-and-give-him/)

Michael Craven

> [“Its just either your way or my way. There is no way that is universally right. For British, they killed us to develop their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hanif-hassan-barbhuiya/its-just-either-your-way-or-my-way-there-is-no-way-that-is/)

[Hanif Hassan Barbhuiya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hanif-hassan-barbhuiya/)

> [“The only ones who kill are those prepared to be killed”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lelouch-vi-britannia/the-only-ones-who-kill-are-those-prepared-to-be-killed/)

[Lelouch Vi Britannia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lelouch-vi-britannia/)

> [“I knew how I was supposed to feel when I was with him. Well, I knew what I was not supposed to feel. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-miranda/i-knew-how-i-was-supposed-to-feel-when-i-was-with-him-well-i-knew/)

[Megan Miranda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-miranda/)

> [I never thought I'd be on the cover of the 'Atlanta Journal' unless I killed someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-robinson/i-never-thought-i-d-be-on-the-cover-of-the-atlanta-journal-unless-i/)

[Chris Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-robinson/)

## More by David James Duncan

> [Our lack of community is intensely painful. A TV talk show is not community. A couple of hours in a church pew each Sabbath…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/our-lack-of-community-is-intensely-painful-a-tv-talk-show-is-not/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“It was so good to see him in there, yet so funny to find him so much like me, and so tiny. "Nice kingdom…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/it-was-so-good-to-see-him-in-there-yet-so-funny-to-find-him-so-much/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“Bobby Edson, like most coaches, was a kind of mystic: he believed the cosmos was endowed with an ineffable muffling system that rendered all…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/bobby-edson-like-most-coaches-was-a-kind-of-mystic-he-believed-the/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [--I truly and deeply wanted to kill him. And I believe I could have done it, with nothing but my hands. But all of…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/i-truly-and-deeply-wanted-to-kill-him-and-i-believe-i-could-have-done/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“Papa was no longer fixing a carburetor: he was setting up a greasy little Cuban missile base smack-dab in the middle of Mama’s immaculate…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/papa-was-no-longer-fixing-a-carburetor-he-was-setting-up-a-greasy/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“The Austrian writer Robert Musil summed up the Fanatic's great rhetorical advantage in just ten words: There is no truth which stupidity can't make…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/the-austrian-writer-robert-musil-summed-up-the-fanatic-s-great/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“Is the work of sun worshippers to honor those who think they can see the sun? Or to worship the sun?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/is-the-work-of-sun-worshippers-to-honor-those-who-think-they-can-see/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“Peter didn’t want to change the world: he wanted to fully comprehend it.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/peter-didn-t-want-to-change-the-world-he-wanted-to-fully-comprehend-it/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“It is a rare high school teacher who enjoys seeing their world being enormously improved upon by youths.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/it-is-a-rare-high-school-teacher-who-enjoys-seeing-their-world-being/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [The principles that will save Earth's life are the same principles that save the living souls of humans: ineluctable spiritual principles.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/the-principles-that-will-save-earth-s-life-are-the-same-principles/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“I’m just saying that his card-burning would have meant far more, on the day he did it, if he hadn’t already incinerated his life.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/i-m-just-saying-that-his-card-burning-would-have-meant-far-more-on/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“I gave him everything from my lunches I hate, which is called Charity.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/i-gave-him-everything-from-my-lunches-i-hate-which-is-called-charity/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“If we can’t be ballplayers together, maybe I can start bein’ a Buddhist.”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/if-we-can-t-be-ballplayers-together-maybe-i-can-start-bein-a-buddhist/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [As a lifelong student of the world’s wisdom literature, it is my duty to inform students that “ridding the world of evil” is a…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/as-a-lifelong-student-of-the-world-s-wisdom-literature-it-is-my-duty/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

> [“that was the thing about nature: make one lousy rule to describe it and it'll contradict you even if it has to transmogrify and…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/that-was-the-thing-about-nature-make-one-lousy-rule-to-describe-it/)

[David James Duncan](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

[Explore all 85 David James Duncan quotes ](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/)

## More Killed quotes

> [I never thought I'd be on the cover of the 'Atlanta Journal' unless I killed someone.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/chris-robinson/i-never-thought-i-d-be-on-the-cover-of-the-atlanta-journal-unless-i/)

[Chris Robinson](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/chris-robinson/)

> [“I knew how I was supposed to feel when I was with him. Well, I knew what I was not supposed to feel. I…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/megan-miranda/i-knew-how-i-was-supposed-to-feel-when-i-was-with-him-well-i-knew/)

[Megan Miranda](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/megan-miranda/)

> [“The only ones who kill are those prepared to be killed”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/lelouch-vi-britannia/the-only-ones-who-kill-are-those-prepared-to-be-killed/)

[Lelouch Vi Britannia](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/lelouch-vi-britannia/)

> [“Its just either your way or my way. There is no way that is universally right. For British, they killed us to develop their…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hanif-hassan-barbhuiya/its-just-either-your-way-or-my-way-there-is-no-way-that-is/)

[Hanif Hassan Barbhuiya](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hanif-hassan-barbhuiya/)

> [“But I held him till he relented and just let me pet him and give him some affection. “I love you, Toast. If you…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/michael-craven/but-i-held-him-till-he-relented-and-just-let-me-pet-him-and-give-him/)

Michael Craven

> [Lord Raoul asked me to tell you that if you get yourself killed, he will never speak to you again.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/tamora-pierce/lord-raoul-asked-me-to-tell-you-that-if-you-get-yourself-killed-he/)

[Tamora Pierce](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/tamora-pierce/)

> [“People from IT sent to replace those they’d killed. Juliette’s”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/hugh-howey/people-from-it-sent-to-replace-those-they-d-killed-juliette-s/)

[Hugh Howey](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/hugh-howey/)

> [“How about giving your old man a break here, huh, Chirp?" "Chirp is dead," I hear myself say and watch the flat words destroy…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/laura-wiess/how-about-giving-your-old-man-a-break-here-huh-chirp-chirp-is-dead-i/)

[Laura Wiess](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/laura-wiess/)

> [My mother, she killed me, My father, he ate me, My sister Marlene, Gathered all my bones, Tied them in a silken scarf, Laid…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/anonymous/my-mother-she-killed-me-my-father-he-ate-me-my-sister-marlene/)

[Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/anonymous/)

> [The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/joseph-heller/the-enemy-is-anybody-who-s-going-to-get-you-killed-no-matter-which/)

[Joseph Heller](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/joseph-heller/)

> [My other brother-in-law died. He was a karate expert, then joined the army. The first time he saluted, he killed himself.](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/henny-youngman/my-other-brother-in-law-died-he-was-a-karate-expert-then-joined-the/)

[Henny Youngman](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/henny-youngman/)

> [Osama Bin Laden is dead. Killed not by a massive troop deployment but by a commando raid carried out by a few dozen highly…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/richard-engel/osama-bin-laden-is-dead-killed-not-by-a-massive-troop-deployment-but/)

[Richard Engel](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/richard-engel/)

> [“Hey hey Susan Day have you killed any kids today?”](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/stephen-king/hey-hey-susan-day-have-you-killed-any-kids-today/)

[Stephen King](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/stephen-king/)

> [What makes the rich cry, must've killed the poor…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jezreel-scott/what-makes-the-rich-cry-must-ve-killed-the-poor/)

[Jezreel Scott](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jezreel-scott/)

> [Fifty thousand people in Mexico have been murdered. Puerto Penasco, 60 miles south of our border, just had five people and a police officer…](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/jan-brewer/fifty-thousand-people-in-mexico-have-been-murdered-puerto-penasco-60/)

[Jan Brewer](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/jan-brewer/)

Browse all 1,023 Killed quotes

```json
{
    "@context": "https://schema.org",
    "@graph": [
        {
            "@type": "Quotation",
            "text": "“Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not anythingI love or know or care about. Because thou shalt not kill, Kade. Thou shalt not kill. With all my heart I believed this. And I killed. So what am I now? And why should I live? How am I even alive? Because if this is what our lives are--if doing this to others before they do it to us is all our lives are--we’re already dead. Honest to God I feel it, Kade. I’m dead. The hell with me.”",
            "creator": {
                "@type": "Person",
                "name": "David James Duncan"
            },
            "isPartOf": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website"
            },
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-anythingi-love-or-know-or-care/",
            "about": {
                "@type": "Thing",
                "name": "Killed"
            },
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-anythingi-love-or-know-or-care/#quotation",
            "image": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png",
                "contentUrl": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/96f/david-james-duncan-8032_killed_because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-an_48370.png",
                "width": 1080,
                "height": 1080,
                "caption": "“Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not anythingI love or know or care about. Because thou shalt not kill…” — David James Duncan",
                "creditText": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
                "creator": {
                    "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
                }
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "BreadcrumbList",
            "itemListElement": [
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 1,
                    "name": "Home",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 2,
                    "name": "Quotes",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 3,
                    "name": "David James Duncan",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/author/david-james-duncan/"
                },
                {
                    "@type": "ListItem",
                    "position": 4,
                    "name": "“Because I wasn’t anything anymore. Not...",
                    "item": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-anythingi-love-or-know-or-care/"
                }
            ],
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/david-james-duncan/because-i-wasn-t-anything-anymore-not-anythingi-love-or-know-or-care/#breadcrumb"
        },
        {
            "@type": "WebSite",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#website",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "publisher": {
                "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization"
            }
        },
        {
            "@type": "Organization",
            "@id": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/#organization",
            "name": "SMS4Smile Quotes",
            "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/",
            "logo": {
                "@type": "ImageObject",
                "url": "https://sms4smile.com/quotes/wp-content/themes/sq/assets/icons/icon-512.png",
                "width": 512,
                "height": 512
            }
        }
    ]
}
```
